


The Badboy's Trainer

by Sidney_A



Category: Gay - Fandom, Harry Styles - Fandom, Harry Styles/Niall Horan - Fandom, Love - Fandom, Narry Storan - Fandom, Niall Horan/Harry Styles - Fandom, One Direction (Band), boy/boy - Fandom, niall horan - Fandom
Genre: Complete, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 03:55:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 64
Words: 143,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5952742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sidney_A/pseuds/Sidney_A
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall is very insecure about his body. He thinks it would help him gaining confidence if he'd work in a gym center. His plans were rather spoiled when he can only work there as the cleaning boy.</p><p>Harry is well built, and always went to the gym where Niall now works. Harry's trainer suddenly stops, and there is no trainer available. That is until Mr. Cowell gets an idea. An idea that changes everything.</p><p>What will happen if the cleaning boy becomes his personal trainer?</p><p>(Mature parts involved. Don't like, don't read.<br/>I warned you, don't report, babes.)</p><p>©Copyright all rights reserved!<br/>Don't steal. If you do, I'll find you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

A knock on my door woke me up. Ugh... I don't want to wake up yet. It's way too early to already wake up. Even though I'd be way happier if I could just lay in bed and sleep the whole day, I must say that I just don't have a choice. My mom knows I have to work today at the local Starbucks near the corner at the end of the street. If I don't show up or show up a little later than I should, they'll just fire me and then I'm really fucked.

It's not that working at Starbucks is that bad. It's actually quite nice. The people there are always happy and smile at me as I serve their coffee's and the workers there are very friendly, too. I like working there. It's just WAY too early for me...

So after mentally preparing myself to get up, I slowly got out of my bed and grabbed all my clothes. I quickly ran into my private bathroom, already missing the warmth I was getting from my comfortable and soft, white comforters. Without thinking twice, I slipped out of my pj's and into the shower that was already at a nice and warm temperature.

After getting all washed and cleaned, I slowly made myself look presentable, looking in the mirror to help my hair get done. When I did look in the mirror, I saw the tiny, skinny thing that was me. It's not that I'm not okay with myself, but I'd just love to have a bit... More muscles... Just like, a bit of a six pack? Just biceps that you can see when I lift something up? I know, I can get those when I work out, but... I'm just too insecure about everything, that I don't even dare to go to gym. They'll just laugh at me, saying that I'm a worthless case... And I wouldn't even be offended, 'cause it's just the truth.

"Sweetheart! It's almost time to go off to your work!" Mum yelled from downstairs. Work... I sound so old if I'd call it work. I'm still in college, so a real job isn't what working at Starbucks is for me. It's just a way to gain some money for me and my mom. I have a brother, but he's already too old to even live with us. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother, but he's just too far away to say that he'd care actually... I know it sounds very cruel, but it's just ️the way  my weird brain functions.

Then, my father... Yeah... Well he left us, a pretty while ago. I don't even remember his face or what he looked like. I guess I was only seven? Maybe eight already...? It doesn't matter how old I was. Even if I wasn't born yet, he did left us, in any way he could.

Now don't expect a real sob story about how I miss him and how I'd love to be with him now and such, 'cause that's not even true. I'd like to have a father, but my mother and I are perfectly fine together. It's nice and cozy and I can tell my mom everything without any weirdness or awkwardness between the two of us.

My mom knows everything about me. Literally. Even if I wouldn't tell her something, she'd see right through me and knows something has been hidden away from her. She'd ask me about it till I spill it all out. It's weird, but when I have something on my mind that I don't tell her, she'll know it within the first few minutes. She gives me this look that just says it all. She knows how to get stuff out of me. I think that's what makes her my mom.

"Coming, Ma!" I basically yelled back, just with a little less force and a sore throat.

With the last things been done at my outfit and looks, I walked through my door and into the hall, ready to go downstairs. At these walls are tons of pictures. Literally. My mom didn't like the fact of my brother leaving us, so she told herself that by hanging as many pics as she has of her and me and my brother, that we'd still be together at some weird point. That my mom wasn't weird and probably paranormal, would be an understatement, but she was the way she has to be. The way that I could recognise her out of all her clones -not that she has clones... Or at least not where I know the existence off...-

"Are you just going to stand there forever, or coming downstairs and going to Starbucks? I don't know what your boss will think of it, but I'm pretty sure that if you don't start to run now, you'll be too late and get fired. Since your lovely mom has to go to the hospital for work herself, I expect you to be there any minute and be home straight after, cause you know I don't like to search for you late at night." I heard a voice, one that belonged to the beautiful woman that made me. I should probably say that out loud some day... Might make her smile.

Snapping out of my trance, I rolled my eyes and looked rather annoyed at her. "Ma, that was once! Don't use that everyday. It's quite mean to use blackmail against your own son, no wait. It's illegal use blackmail against anyone." I stated, crossing my arms over my chest as I did.

"Yeah fine, whatever you say there big boy, but get your ass downstairs and into the Starbucks shop, or I'll kick it somewhere else if you get fired. You know I can't. Effort you any new technology so you have to work for it yourself. One day, I promise, I'll be able to give you whatever you want.  But for now you should do with just money of your own job," she said as she pushed me to the stairs and out of the house once I was able to get my shoes on and get my coat from the hook it was hanging on. "I'll see you this evening. Bye baby," she said as she kissed me on my forehead, getting into her own car before she headed off to her work.

I decided to walk to the Starbucks, 'cause it was actually nice outside for a autumn day and 'cause it's right behind the corner, which I think is stupid to use a car for.

As I noticed I was already 3 minutes too late, I started to run, thinking I'd get there just in time before anyone looks at the clock?

Of course, luck wasn't on my side today. As I entered the shop, my boss was already waiting for me, telling me to be on time next time or I'd get fired. Last time he said that, I could see he didn't really mean the getting fired situation, but by the looks of it, he really, and then I mean REALLY means it this time. He's probably done with me anyway, one little mistake and I'm out. I know his daughter wants to work here and I'm the one that has the only place where she could work, so if I get fired, it's not his loss and his daughters win.

"I'm really sorry, Mr. I'll be here on time tomorrow. I promise. No excuses this time," yeah... I'm a fan of using pretty bad excuses. Mostly they really are true, but it's not because they're true, that it's acceptable for me to be late...

"Okay, you're fine for now. But don't make me notice any mistakes you make, don't come late ever again, or you're fired for real, comprendo?" He made it pretty clear now...

"Got it, boss," I answered him, already knowing that not answering is considered as a mistake. He just nodded at me and left, making me standing there for just a few more seconds to get all my thoughts together before I finally was able to go up to my coworkers and ask if I could already do anything. Of course there was the cleaning to do, which they always left for me. They like to joke around a lot. But this wasn't joking around. It was basically just using me as a cleaning la- boy. As a cleaning boy.

"Eh, Horan!" And there was the trouble maker of the city. The most difficult person to get quiet, but yet the best friend on earth, Louis...

My name is Niall Horan, and this...

_Is how my life started to change._


	2. Two

 

I laughed loudly. Louis is such an idiot... "You know, maybe you should start cleaning around here," he said as he let his finger slip over the table we were sitting on. "It's really sticky," he pointed out.

"Yeah well, if you didn't spoil all your coke over it, then it wouldn't be sticky now. It's your own fault." I sort of snapped back. Louis just rolled his eyes and laughed softly. His laugh is just so... contagious. I started to join him, and rather quickly we couldn't stop laughing anymore.

Of course there were always people that had to intrude us and well, normally I wouldn't really care, but this time was different. "Horan, you're fired," one of my coworkers said. I looked up at him rather confused and curious.

"What do you mean, 'fired'? What did I do wrong?" I knew it didn't take much for me to get fired, but without any reason is very odd and even if my boss' daughter was first in row to take over my job, he would never fire me without a real reason.

"First, didn't I ask you half an hour ago to go and clean the shop?" I already felt guilty. Ever since Louis knows I work -or now worked- here, I always took small pauses to spend some chatting with him. Louis is just like me gay, but only he isn't a closed book about it and he's even proud to be it. Louis' parents and friends all found it okay, so it's not that he doesn't have anyone, but he's to no one closer than to me. I'm the one that knows all of his secrets, whilst his parents know the least about him and his sisters know most of him, yet I was the one he trusted more. So well yeah. If he needs to talk about this new dude he liked or this new shop he wants to explore without any weird looks from people, he can always count on me. I guess that's mostly the problem... "And second, boss didn't tell anyone why you'd be fired, you probably did something wrong, knowing my clumsy friend..." He joked. Well, this was anything but a joke to me now...

"B-but-"

"This is absurd! Why would anyone fire this cute ball of sweetness and joy? He's probably the one that gets the clients here! I mean, look at those cute, little, pink cheeks! They're adorable, no one can resist those-" my hand was quick to cover his mouth after that. If I let him go on, we wouldn't only both get into trouble, but he'd be telling things no one wants to hear about me... That's how he is. Once he starts to ramble, it always goes wrong...

"I'm sorry dude, but boss' orders... I wish Horan could stay, too. I do think most girls are rather just coming see this little pumpkin, than to have Starbucks coffee. Anyway, as much as I'd like to both ask you what you want to drink or whatever, Niall, I guess you're not welcome here anymore..." He was bitting on his lower lip as he looked down at his feet. "I'm really sorry, but we all want to keep hanging out with you sometime, Niall. So...-"

"Why not invite him to Josh's party within 2 weeks? I mean, everyone we know are coming and like that, we have a excuse to see him." Okay, is it just me.... Or did that sounds like they're not really proud of being my friends?

"Naw, don't give us that look Ni, you know we can't really hang around with you. I mean... In our free time we work out and all and... and you just happen not to know what that means..." Yup... That hurts.

I just decided to ignore it and stood up. "Text me the details to his party, I'll see if I come. C'mon Lou," I said, almost dragging him out of the building.

"You okay, Nialler?"

"Yeah I'm fine, Lou."

"You seem to be pretty down, you sure you're okay?"

"I'm okay, really."

"You don't see-"

"I said I'm fine!" I snapped angrily. He stopped walking for a second, but tried to shake it off of him and caught up on me after he seemed to successfully done it. The rest of the walk was in an awkward silence. None of us spoke once. I think that's probably for the better, too.

...

"You're what?!"

"Ma, please. Calm down. It wasn't even my fault. No one wants to say what I did wrong. I just think breathing was already enough for him to fire me..." I tried to explain. Once my mother came home late in the evening, she asked me how my day was, and I told her everything. I don't think she's mad at me, just at my boss, well.. He's not my boss anymore now, is he?

"Oh, baby," she said as she embraced me in a warm hug. "I'll try and get more money. Maybe I just get another job? Yeah a second one. We could have twice as much money then," she suggested. I hated when she talked about this. Getting more money, getting twice as much work.

"No, ma. You aren't. We're fine, okay?" She nodded and buried her face in the crook of my neck.

"I'm just so sorry that you can't buy what you want. That I never can give you anything that you'd like on your birthday. I wish I could just give you the world," she sobbed.

"It's okay. Really, please Ma, don't cry. We'll manage just fine. I'll just get a new job. Yeah?" I've never been good in comforting people...

My mom just pulled away from me and whipped her cheeks. "I'm sorry Ni. I shouldn't be crying for something stupid like that. Shouldn't bother you with it at all," I just smiled and kissed her cheek.

"You'll be fine, really."

"Thank you Ni. I love you, you know that right?"

"I know, and I love you, too Ma."

She smiled and that was all that I needed to see right now. I don't like my mom all down and such. "Good, now go upstairs and take a shower before you go to bed. I cleaned it up in there, and I don't want it to all be smelly again," I rolled my eyes and nodded as I laughed. I quickly ran up the stairs and into my bathroom before stripping down, taking a shower and finally after a long day, getting into bed and falling asleep.


	3. Three

Today's the day I'm going to search for a new job. Not that I want to do anything else than to work again in the Starbucks building, but maybe it's better to at least find something. I want to help my mom with paying things off and I of course want to spare money for a new car. Mine is pretty sucky, so a new one would be awesome. Now I only need to get a proper job so I can effort a good one.

My mom tried to help me with finding one in the morning. Looking through the newspaper and such. I, on the other hand, called to Louis to ask if he knew some people, which he answered with that he knew that some girls lingerie shop searched for new people, but sorry not sorry. I'm not in the mood to be yelled at as I try to help someone in there...

Then I remembered Olivia, my high school best friend. Instead of going to uni, she just went straight to work, and I think she worked... in a police station? Yeah I think that must be it. Maybe she has something for me to do?

As I called her, my mom almost yelled at me to say she found something for me if Olivia wouldn't have place for me.

"With Olivia Ranger from police station Ranger Over Danger, what can I do for you?" I smirked. She seriously had to call it that? I knew she would anyway, she told me in high school that if she'd ever get her own police station, she'd call it that.

"So you did finally call it that? I already thought you would anyway..."

"LITTLE NIALLER!" She yelled through the phone.

"No, little mermaid..." I saw my mom rolling her eyes. She probably heard Olivia yelling through the phone, so she's probably disappointed in my lame comeback. "No seriously now, how are you?"

"Oh baby Ni! It's going great! Edward and I are so happy, really he's going to propose to me, I just don't know when!" I almost gasped.

"Really?! That's amazing! Oh I hope you both do it rather quickly, don't forget about me, now you have a boyfriend!" I said. I could already see her rolling her eyes at me.

"I won't ever forget someone who didn't call me in ages..." Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. "But how's it going there? You already met that perfect girl?" Yeah about that... I never told her that I basically like dick... Or to say it properly, I like men.

"Nah, I think I'll just stay the way I am. Now I at least don't have to buy something for my beloved at Valentine's Day. That way it's easier for me to get that new car I want," mom had already given up on me and went into the kitchen, probably to avoid my conversation about how happy I am without anyone in my life...

"You're no fun Ni. Seriously you should go to a club or something? Oh! My friend, Nashita is still single, I mean.. She basically dumped that jerk of a dude a few weeks ago, so well yeah, she's single now. Maybe I should let you guys meet up some day? I can fix ever-"

"No please. Don't try to get me a girlfriend. I'll makes sure to find you and murder you if you do."

She giggled and I could hear someone on the background asking what she was doing. "Awh is little Nialler about to hunt me down?" She cooed. Grrr... Yes...

"Shut up, I'm not even calling for that,"

"Then why am I needed there then?"

"'Cause I've been fired yesterday. I need to find a new job and I at least hoped you would have something to do for me?" I must admit, I sounded pretty hopeful, but my hope faded away right when she answered.

"I'm so sorry Ni. We have already way too much workers here. I'd love to give you a job, but I just can't. I'm really sorry, little Nialler. But I'm sure I can call some people and get-"

"No, no. It's okay really. I'll just find something else myself. Thank you anyway for your time Olivia. It was really nice to talk to you again and hear your voice," I said smiling softly.

"Awh okay Ni. Hope you'll find something and otherwise you just call me and I'll help you find something. Yeah?"

"Yeah thanks, Donuty"

"Welcome Nialler. Love you, bye-bye."

"Bye." And with a sight I ended the call.

Well... I don't have a job yet, but I did talk to my best friend from high school again. It was really nice to hear her voice again. Maybe I should visit her some time. She will definitely like that.

"Baby, did you already find something?" Mom came into the living room again and gave me a curious look.

"No sorry Ma," she sighed and nodded.

"Well, me neither. I thought I found something, but it's not really your thing,"

"What was it?" She started to blush and looked away.

"Nothing for your little ears to hear, baby," oh I hate it when she does that... It means it was probably something 'too mature' for me... Even though I'm actually 20, my mom always thinks things about sex and stuff aren't the things I should know about. I can talk to her about it, she will just probably call the police to watch me if I ever get a boyfriend where I share the night with. She's... special when it comes to that topic.

"Well okay... Anyw-" I was cut of when my phone rang. I quickly glanced at the screen, reading it was Louis. With a swift motion, I swayed to the right with my thumb and put the phone to my ear. I didn't even open my mouth before I could hear his loud and enthusiastic voice through the speaker.

"NIALL!" I squinted my eyes shut when I heard how loud he was. "I think I found you your perfect job!" He said happily and a little less loud.

"Really? What is it?" I must have sound pretty exited cause my mom gave me the look that said that she knew what we were talking about and smiled.

"I'm not good at explaining, but remember when I told you yesterday I'd go and visit my cousin today?" I nodded, even though he couldn't see that and quickly mumbled a 'yes', so he'd at least know I was following. "Well, found out that my cousin has an amazing hot friend, called Zack or something, and when I was calling you, he heard what we were discussing. We talked and talked and I must say he's very nice. I mean he has this bea-"

"Louis get to your point," I said already annoyed.

"Sorry, Mr. Grumpy. Well alnyway, this Zack dude, told me that he wants to help you getting a new job. You can come over and we'll just search together! I bet he's here somewhere around, so then he'd be able to help you search," he explained.

"Okay, I'll ask my mother and I'll text you kay?"

"Okay, bye Ni. Kiss kiss!"

"Yeah kiss kiss back, see yah." Well... Yeah... that's just a thing between us. Lou started it and I just went along. It's not that I fully agreed to ending our calls like that, but when Louis almost treats you, saying he'd probably kill you in your sleep if you don't say it back, well that really makes me say it. And now it's basically a habit.

I ended the call and before I could even ask my mom if I could go to Louis'.... "What are you going to ask your mother, sweetheart?" She asked.

"Well Uh... That I Uh... Can I go to Lou's to search for a new job? He said there is this very hot du- I mean this friend of his cousin and he wants to help me out and-"

"Yeah yeah... I get it. My baby boy is going to hunt that cutie down. It's okay, love. You can go. At least you're trying to get a job,"

"Thanks Ma!"

I quickly stood up, slipped my shoes on and got my coat from it's hanger. "See you later this afternoon," I called out, opening the door already to go outside.

"See you soon, baby. Oh and Niall?" I waited and looked at her as she came into the hall. "Don't scare the poor lad."

"Ma!" I said whiningly.

"Sorry baby, it's just... I know you. Once you want something, or in this case someone, you can be pretty... Clumsy..."

"I know, thanks for the pep-talk, Ma." She just shook her head laughing softly and went back inside the kitchen.

I quickly closed the door and got into my crappy car before driving off to Louis'. Hopefully this 'Zack' dude will help me getting a job, instead of getting my attention...


	4. Four

I arrived at Lou’s and parked my car in front of his front door. After getting out of my car and to the front door, I sighed before ringing the bell, waiting till someone would open it. 

A few seconds passed and the door was opened by Louis’ mom,  Johannah. “Niall, honey! Oh come in, come in! Long time no see, right? How are you? Oh wow, did you grow? You definitely grew! Yeah…” I chuckled softly. I love Louis’ mom. She’s always happy and all smiles.

“Hey Johannah. I’m fine thank you. Is Louis upstairs?” I asked. 

“Yeah he is, together with a boy. He’s very good looking, don’t interrupt anything. I’d rather have him as the boy that’s making my baby happy, then some criminal…” she said. I rolled my eyes and laughed. 

“I’m sure I won’t interrupt anything. Louis asked me to come. He wouldn’t start a thing that he knows he can’t finish,”  _Smart Niall… give the woman hope…_

 

“Oh, yeah that actually sounds pretty logical. Well anyway, go upstairs, I’m sure you aren’t here to talk to me,” I laughed again and nodded before walking up the stairs.  _She sure is a special woman…_

 

I quickly shook the conversation with Johannah out of my head and walked up to Lou’s room. I could hear some  voices. One belonged to my best friend. After knocking a few time, Louis opened the door and smiled wildly at me. “NIALL!” He’d be the reason if I'm ever deaf.. 

“Hey, Lou,” he pulled me inside and let me sit on his bed, like usual. 

On Louis’ chair sat a very… handsome young man. He had black hair, held back together into a small pony-like tail. His eyes were deep golden brown and he had this amazing strong looking jaw.  A smug smile was resting on his lips and he looked mighty pleased with the way I was staring at him. “Hey, I’m Zayn,” he said, his voice oh so special. I smiled and nodded before saying: “Niall”. 

“Okay, so now you two know each other, let’s get on with this! I already talked to Zayn about your job-problem and he said he had the perfect place! He, himself goes every day to the- wait… I’ll just let him explain!”  _Louis sure is a strange boy…._

 

“Louis! Can you help me out here for a minute?!” Louis’ mom called from downstairs followed by little giggles from his sisters who were probably standing by the door, listening to the conversation we were having. 

“I have to go then, be right back,” he said before leaving the room, leaving me alone with Zayn. 

_This can’t get more awkward, now can it?_  “So, what Louis was probably saying, I go to the gym basically each day. Yesterday when I was there, I saw they were searching for people, and when Louis told me about you, I immediately thought you’d probably be great working there,” he explained, breaking the silence that was there just a moment ago. 

_I don’t know if you have already looked at me, but I’m not the… the best person to go to gym…_  “Well it’s very nice of you to think of me, but I don’t really think I’d be welcome in the gym,” he frowned at that and looked at me with a curious gaze. 

“Why’d you think that?”            

“’Cause last time I was in the gym, they asked me if I was lost,” he started to laugh, throwing his head back as he did.  _Great… make it even more embarrassing for yourself..._ “Why are you laughing?” I asked.  _Stupid question Niall… that was probably hilarious since… be honest, who the hell get’s thrown out of the gym?_

 

 Once he calmed down from his laughter attack, he blinked a single tear away and smiled at me. "I'm sorry, Niall. It's just... You don't hear that so often... But I'm sorry for that. If you want, I can always go with you? They know me there, pretty well, I might add. I'm sure they'd let you in if you just ask for it and if they don't call me," he said, pulling out a little piece of paper with a number written on, "I'll fix it in a few seconds," he added. 

 

_I don't know about it... Maybe working in the gym isn't just... 'My thing'._  "I don't know Zayn. It's very very nice of you to help me out, but gym? Ever looked at me? The only muscles I have are in my head..." He frowned and stood up before sitting back down nest to me, arms softly pressing against one other. 

"You sure have muscles, Niall. Everyone does. You just have to train them, but hey? I'm one, not demanding you to work there and two, you can also work there as something else then a gym trainer. Nena works there too, but she just picks up the phone and helps everyone with finding their place and trainer. There's plenty of things you can do there. Believe me. By the way, you get to see me everyday. That's a bonus, now isn't it?" He laughed softly and I tried to join him. It was a fake laugh, but I joined him, didn't I? "I'll help you out the first days. I promise," can't he be less sweet and nice? I'm practically a stranger, why does he wants to help me so bad? Even Louis didn't make such an effort for me... "So...?" 

Thinking about it for a few more seconds, I sighed and nodded slowly. Zayn's lips formed into a smile and I could notice he was happy about it. "But if they throw me out again, I'll blame it on you," I said, making him laugh softly again. 

"I can live with that," he said chuckling softly after. He stopped laughing once his gaze locked with mine. We were both caught up in the moment and for a split of a second, I  thought he was leaning in, so I just did the same. Our faces were close to one other, noses almost brushing, yet our eyes never looked away. At that moment Louis decided to come back and opened the door with his loud: "Darling, I'm home!" sentence. 

As quick as the door opened, Zayn and I jumped up and away from each other. My little jump, made me miss the bed, making me fall on my bum on the hard wooden floor. I first got a weird look from Louis, but Zayn's laugh followed quickly. "Okay, what in hell's name just happened here? And why are you sitting on the ground?" I opened my mouth to quickly make up and excuse, but he stopped me by holding his hand up. "No, no. I don't even want to know what happened in..." He looked at his watch, "seriously guys? In 7 minutes? I mean... Dude!" He was joking. I know him way too good to know that he didn't mean this serious. 

Zayn on the other hand, had no idea that this was a joke. "No, wait, what? No we didn't! Louis!" He stammered. 

"Zayn, chill. He's only joking around. I know him too well to know he's just joking," Louis burst out in laughter, like he normally does, and doubled over. 

"Oh my.... His..." A few laughs interrupted the sentence he was trying to form, "face. Oh my. I can't!" He laughed. Luckily for us, Lou's laughing contest didn't take that long and he was rather quick to wipe his tears of joy and laughter away. 

I could see Zayn was glaring at him from the corner of my eyes and I must say, he did look flushed, too. Good I'm not the only one who thought this was embarrassing. 

"I'm sorry guys. It was just too funny. Anyway. Did you agree with the job-thingy Niall?" Louis asked directly towards me. I nodded slowly and he smiled. "Great! Now, mom said I have to go and get Lotty from this stupid girl party she went to, so I'll see you tomorrow or we text later, yeah?" He said, looking at me while I nodded. "And Zayn, your mommy called. She wants you back in 10 minutes. You're going out with the family, or whatever. We might join you 'cause mom was already trying and get us to go with you to have a real family dinner, and you're practically family..." Zayn gave him a look and he rolled his eyes. "Okay fine, my dear cousin basically invited yours too, cause she does't want you to be all alone at home. Now my mom is trying to convince your parents to join us. But we all know how convincing she can be," he explained. Zayn just nodded and smiled softly before looking at me. 

Now I only wonder: why is he looking at me?! It's scaring the hell out of me. Yes, Zayn is a very handsome man. He's well build and has a perfect length. I mean, Zayn is very hot, but he's as straight as I'm not.

"Well, I'm going home then..." I said softly before standing up and leaving the room. 

"Hey, I see you tomorrow then? I'll help you with getting a job there," Zayn said, making me turn around. 

"Yeah see you tomorrow, Zayn. Bye." 

"Bye mate," 

I walked through the door, but was turned around rather unexpected, making me clumsily fall over into the person's chest. I looked a bit down to found Louis. "Dude since when do we not say goodbye to your best friend?" He said. I rolled my eyes and pecked his cheek. 

"Bye drama queen," I chuckled softly. He just rolled his eyes and winked before walking back in his room and shutting it. I could head Zayn asking him is we were together and a loud slap, probably Lou who hit him or something followed by chuckling from Zayn and Louis joined quickly. 

After saying a quick goodbye to Johannah, I just opened the front door and walked back to my crappy car before driving back home and telling my mom I'm going to try and get a job tomorrow at the gym centre. She was happy to hear I was going to try and I must say, I'm actually nervous for tomorrow. 

After dinner and having a small chat with my mom about just random everything, I took a quick shower and got into bed. I closed my eyes and fell almost asleep, but then I realised... I didn't know where the gym was where Zayn goes to... 

I quickly grabbed my phone from the nightstand next to my bed and texted Zayn with the number he gave me.

**TO: ZAYN :)**

**'Hey, I just realised, I forgot to ask you where the gym actually was where you go to...**   
**Sorry if I woke you up xx**   
**-Niall Horan'**

I sent the message and waited a few minutes. Maybe he's asleep..? I sighed and lay my phone back on it's place before closing my eyes. That was rather dumb, cause once my eyes were closed, my phone vibrated and my whole room lit up from the light of the screen. 

**FROM: ZAYN :)**

**'Hey, Niall. Yeah, sorry forgot to tell you. You know the bakery closest to Louis' house? Well, a bit further in the street, there is this huge building, that's the gym. Hope you find it, so not? Just call me, I'll pick you up then? Good night. Xo '**

I smiled at the text I got from him. He's so... So sweet really. I really hope we can be great friends.  _Or maybe more...?_ No Niall! 

**TO: ZAYN :)**

**'Thanks, Zayn. Thanks for being so nice to me. Sweet dreams. Xx**

**-Niall Horan'**

 

It didn't take that long for his respond this time. 

**FROM: ZAYN :)**

**_' :). Xo'_ **

I laid my phone back on the nightstand and got under the my comforters before closing my eyes and drifting off to a peaceful sleep, with a stupid smile on my lips. 


	5. Five

"Niall James Horan! Get your lazy ass downstairs now!" I heard a female voice yell from downstairs. Yeah... my mom isn't the sweetest as it comes to waking her lovely, but lazy son...

Rather lazily and slow, I got out of bed, got some clothes and ran into the bathroom to take a quick shower. Of course, even in the morning, the whole house has to deal with my musical. Singing softly 'chasing cars' by 'Snow Patrol' was all I was doing during shampooing my hair and washing my body with the sweet smelling body wash.

Shower-time was over way too fast for my liking, but I dealt with it and just went downstairs after styling my hair into a quick and rather messy quiff and making my clothes looking at least a bit neat. As I came downstairs and into the kitchen, my mom was moving around. It looked like dancing, a bit. She was swaying her hips a little bit at the rhythm of a stupid song she had put into the CD-player. She turned around and almost dropped the plate she was holding as she saw me. "Oh Nialler! Don't you ever scare me like that ever again, young man. I almost dropped the plate, darling," she said. I laughed softly and looked at what was laying on the plate in her hand. Chocolate cookies. Hmm...

"I'm sorry Ma. Won't happen again. Why are you baking cookies?" I asked as I went into the fridge and grabbed some orange juice.

She placed the plate on the kitchen table and looked up at me, smiling. "May a mother not bake cookies for her son without a particular reason?" she asked me almost shocked, well... fake shocked. At least we all know why she isn't an actress...

"Ma..." I said, crossing my arms over my chest and tapping my foot on the ground as I gave her the 'Don't lie to me' look.

She sighed and chuckled. "Okay, okay! You got me!" she said, hands up in defeat. "There is this very handsome young boy here, and he asked about you. I was already baking these anyway, but now they must be a bit better, 'cause I want at least to impress the guy a bit," she said smiling. My eyes grew wide. Who the hell is here that isn't Louis? "Now, you look like you've seen a ghost," she chuckled.

"Ma, who's here?" I asked quickly.

"His name is uhm... oh dear God, I can't seem to remember it already. Oh that's what you get when you get older, I guess," she laughed. I rolled my eyes and looked at her with a serious look on my face. "Oh I'm sorry Mr. I Remember Everyone's Name. He's in the living room if you-" before her sentence was even finished, I rushed out of the kitchen and into the small living room we've got.

Once I came into the living room, I stopped and froze in my track. What the fucking hell is he doing here? No wait... how did he get here? He looked up with his brown golden eyes and gosh, I guess I just shit my pants. He flashed me a smile and stood up. "Hey, Niall," he said with his thick Bradford accent.

"Mother of Jesus, how did you get here?" I blurred out, and of course I immediately blushed a bit cause... really I couldn't be any less rude?

He didn't seem to mind and just rolled his eyes. "You seem to have this very, very talkative friend that basically told me your life story, and also where you lived. I thought in case you chickened out , maybe I should just pick you up, I was about to go to the gym anyway, so that's a waste of money if I would let you drive yourself," he explained. I mentally rolled my eyes. He really didn't have to do that.

"Oh," was all I could manage to say.

He just chuckled and let his hand go through his hair. "So, I figured out your mother is a sweetheart," he said awkwardly. I groaned, making him laugh softly.

"Ugh, that's so embarrassing. She always embarrasses me in front of people," I said annoyed. He just laughed again and shook his head. He looked really uncomfortable, so I thought it was better if I would free him from it and get him out of this hell house. "MA! WE'RE GOING TO THE GYM!" I yelled towards the kitchen.

"GYM?! What the heck are you going to do there? Stare at the people that actually do go to gym each day?" she joked. Okay, well it already hurt when the girl at the gym said that, but hearing it from my mom while Zayn's next to me and can hear everything... yeah....

"MA!" I almost yelled, stretching out the "A" at the end.

"I'm sorry, love. It's just weird for you to say 'I'm going to the gym'. You never, and I repeat, never go to the gym," she said as she came into the living room as well.

"I explained you yesterday. Now please, let us go, you're embarrassing me in front of Zayn," I said. She just chuckled and shook her head.

"I'm your mother, it's my job to embarrass you,"

"Yeah, well it's my job to get a job today, so leave me or I make it my job to embarrass you next time," I fired back. She literally gave me the 'Oh sure you will'-sarcastic look.

"Good luck with that, baby. But get going already, for the first time in forever you are willingly to go to the gym, so get there as fast as you can before you change your mind." I rolled my eyes and walked to the front door with Zayn behind me. I slipped on my coat and waited for Zayn to do the same before I opened the door. "Oh and baby," I turned around and nodded. "Go get that job, tiger," she winked at me. Oh I sure as hell will make that woman's night the hardest she's ever had.

I quickly walked out of the door and waited till Zayn was out. He laughed once I closed the door and I gave him a warning look. "I'm sorry, that was probably the most awkward conversation between a mother and her son I've ever heard of in my entire life. I'm so sorry," he laughed.

"Yeah yeah, now quit the laughing. She loves to embarrass me anyway. With our without people around," I said truthfully. He just nodded as he came down from his laughter.

"Good, let's get started," he said. I just nodded and walked with him to his car. We got in and I immediately felt like this was going to be very awkward. The tension in the car was already thick before I got in, what will it be to be a whole drive with him in the same car? The fact that he's extremely hot doesn't make it any better either... "So, I was thinking, after I'm done with gym and you got the job, we could maybe go get some coffee?" he asked. I just lost it...

I must have looked like a red tomato, but I was more concerned about how my voice would sound once I answered him. "Yeah?" Okay... even though I almost prepared myself for that answer, it sounded like I was back in high school and got those awkward voice-changes. It even sounded like a question.

"Okay, one, you don't have to feel uncomfortable around me, I know you don't know me very well, but I'm no badass. I might look like one, but I'm not. And two, if you don't want to go with me, then just tell me. It's okay. I just thought, maybe we should just get some coffee and get to know each other a bit better?" he said. Well it actually made me relax a little bit. Now that he mentioned it, he really looks like a badass. Hmm...

"No, no really that's not it. I'd love to get coffee," I smiled over at him. He swiftly looked at me and flashed a smile at me.

"Okay, then we'll go to Starbucks after the gy-"

"No! No Starbucks, please," I almost plead.

"Huh? Why not?"

"'Cause I'm thrown out of there. I used to work there, and well yeah, I was talking to Louis when one of my ex-coworkers came to inform me I was fired and not welcomed back in the Starbucks building there,"

He seemed to not know how to answer for a few minutes and just concentrated on the road. "Well, I'm sorry for that. We can also just chill at mine? Or whatever you prefer? I can take you to McDonalds, too if you want? Whatever you say," he just said after a while. Hmm... Seems like he really wants to have a chat.

"Uhm, yeah we'll see,"

He hummed and I turned back in my seat, looking out of the window. Time didn't go faster at all when I did that, but it was nice knowing what's all outside. And it's very helpful to know where to go if I really get the job, right?

After a few more minutes, we finally pulled up at a parking lot. "We're here," Zayn announced. I nodded and unbuckled my seatbelt before going out of the car and walked up to Zayn's side.

We got in and walked up to the reception. "Hey, Mr. Malik. I'll let your trainer know you're here okay?" the woman behind the desk asked.

"Yeah's fine, hey, Nena?" the girl with dark brown hair and green eyes looked up and smiled way too flirty for my liking. She really likes Zayn, now doesn't she? "Well, weren't you guys looking for a new worker?" he asked. She looked confused at first, but just nodded, typing away on her keyboard.

"Yeah, why? Are you interested, Zayn?" she asked, a blush on her cheeks.

He laughed shortly and shook his head. "Oh please no. No, but my friend here, actually is looking for a job," he said, holding a tight grip on my arm as he almost shoved me in front of him. Yeah.. another reason why I actually should start to work out...

Her smile faded once she saw me. "Oh..." she said. A fake smile placed on her lips. "Well yeah, we are actually searching for trainers, not for tiny persons..." she said. I sighed and looked over at Zayn who didn't seemed to be pleased with her answer by the looks of it. He opened his mouth, but I stopped him by trying to take a strong hold on his arm with my free hand. "Oh, look what I found. I just seem to find the perfect job here for you, uhm..."

"His name is Niall. Niall Horan," Zayn said for me. Oh well, I still have a mouth, babe...

"Oh, well I know something you can do. In fact, you can already start today, if you want. We'll pay you pretty much. It's at least more than that I get paid, I see here on the fiche. Well, if you're interested, Mr. Horan, then you should just tell me and I'll get everything done,"

I wanted to nod, but again, Zayn took the lead. "Yeah, he'd love to get the job,"

"Great! I'll fix the papers and then you can get started!" she said over-exited.

She stood up and walked away. I turned to Zayn and gave him an annoyed look. "Hey! I don't even know what the job is!" I said, slamming the back of my hand on his bare upper arm.

"I'm sorry, I just had to. You were chickening out here and I just know you need a job. Louis likes to say how desperate you are," he chuckled.

"Oh," was all I could say.

"Yeah. Well be happy now you've go-"

"Zayn! Hey. Ready to work a bit?" some random dude asked from behind us.

Zayn turned around, and so did I, and smiled at the very well built man. He was bald and had these massive muscles. His eyes were blue-ish and I must say, it really looks like he's a very... strong man. "Yeah, of course. I'll be right there, just trying to help a friend getting a job here," Zayn answered smiling.

"Oh, well I'd prefer you'd come right now, I actually wanted to talk to you about something, but hey, I'm Mike, nice to know there is finally someone who wants to get a job here. What's the job you're going for? Trainer? Receptionist?" he reached his hand out and held a tight grip on me.

"We don't know that yet, but uhm, Niall? I'll be back later and we'll talk," Zayn spoke for me and then walked away with the man named Mike. Well... nice... Leave me alone... Not that I need you or anything!

I waited a few more minutes till that girl came back. Her smile faded for a second, but came back rather quickly once she probably noticed that Zayn went away. "So, Mr. Horan. I have here the papers. You can read through them, fill in where you have to and sign at the bottom of the last page," she flashed me a true smile. Oh well, maybe she doesn't hate me...

Nodding, I smiled back and walked up to a small bench where I started to fill in the stupid papers. Once I went through them all, I realized... I must be very desperate if I already want a job like that... I mean, no I'm not complaining or anything. I'm happy that I at least get paid and to be honest, I get paid pretty much. More than I got at Starbucks.

A sigh escaped my lips as I stood up and walked over to the desk of that girl. "Ah, I see you're ready! I must admit, Niall. At first, I didn't give you a second glance, but you're actually cute. Maybe we will get along," she smiled, again that flirty smile she gave Zayn a few minutes before.

"Uh, yeah, thanks. I hope we get along," I lied. I know, I know. Lying is wrong and all, but everyone would say something like that if they were in my shoes.

She looked at me and handed me a small piece of paper. "So, this is where you have to be at which time. You don't have to work at Sundays and Tuesdays. That's all. But if you really want to, you're always welcome to come at Tuesdays, only on Sundays we're closed. I'd say, maybe you start tomorrow, but look around so you know where you have to be. I'll get someone to lead you around, yeah?" I nodded once again and watched her disappear.

Minutes passed by, and I started to get annoyed and tired from just standing there. Instead of standing any longer, I decided to get back to the bench I was sitting on earlier. When I decided it was the right time to turn around, I almost bumped into God himself. It was probably the best time ever to turn around, otherwise I'd be bumped into him, which would make me look like a total fool...

My eyes didn't leave him after I stood steady on my feet. The way how his long brown hair was waving very softly as he walked. The way his long legs were bringing his strong built body over to the desk of the flirty girl. His hands were playing with the string of his bag, muscles moving and relaxing as he did. His lips were moving slowly, forming random words I can't seem to figure out the meaning off.

I could easily stare at him for the rest of my life. Oh god... He seemed to have another idea of that, because he just decided to look in my direction. Our gazes locked for a second and I melted away. This must be the most beautiful creature on the whole planate. His eyes, oh my... greener is impossible.

His attention was taken away from me when a brown haired, muscular man came to stand in front of him and talk to him. The Greek-God-look-alike looked back away from me and started to answer whatever the other man asked him. They seem to finish their conversation, and the Greek-God-look-alike walked into the other direction of me while the other one seemed to have his mind more on getting to me than talking to the mysterious sexiness itself. He came closer to me and flashed a beautiful smile. "Hey, Mr. Horan, I'm Liam, Liam Payne. Nice to see there is in fact someone interested in taking that boring job," he laughed. My expression should have said enough, because he stopped smiling and looked down at the ground, pretty ashamed. "I'm so sorry, that was really unprofessional of me. I didn't mean it that way," he apologized himself quickly.

"It's okay. To be quite honest, you're probably right about that," he looked up, rather shocked. "Now, don't look at me like that. To be very honest, I didn't even know what I came looking for here today. My frie- he isn't even my friend yet, made me... why am I telling you this again?" I always seem to ramble once I meet someone new... is that even normal? Am I normal?

"You seem to be a fun kid, kiddo. How old are you anyway?" he asked me with his cute smile. I mean, no, I may be gay, but he's totally not my type -and I sounded like a total girl there..- Like he'd be the best friend of the gay guy in a movie or something.

"I'm actually old enough to not be called a kiddo anymore," I said. He frowned a little, but manned - up after a split of a second. "I'm actually 20. May I know how old you are, or is it inappropriate to ask?" he laughed softly and shook his head.

"Shouldn't we walk instead of standing here, being two fools? I'll show you around, and then I can answer all of your questions," he said. I nodded and started to walk with him though a big door, leading to a hall with a lot of other doors. "This is the changing rooms. Everyone who comes to the gym to work out with or without a trainer, has of course yet to change into the right clothes," he explained. I simply nodded and looked everywhere around me. My eyes caught Liam smiling down at me, and I smiled back. Yeah... if this isn't awkward...

"So, are you going to answer my question from before, or not?" I asked him.

He laughed softly and shook his head. "I'm 22. Not much older than you," he smiled again, and I'm starting to be annoyed with his smile...

"Oh," was all I answered, not really knowing what to say. We just walked through the whole hall, to the end of it in silence.

"Well, this are the toilets, not really interesting. Uh, okay, let's go on," he said. I'm having the feeling that this will be a short walk, because... what is there more in the gym than: the changing rooms, the toilets and the gym itself?

"Are you married Mr. Payne? I mean, I don't see a ring..." I asked. _Nice... I only make it worse..._

"No, Niall. I'm not married. I live alone, and I'm happy being that way for a few more years," he answered. Oh... "But, let's finish the tour, yeah? I have to go to actually," he added.

"Go? To where?" Niall that's not your business. Shut up!

"I work here, as you probably noticed. I'm the trainer of that guy where you were obviously staring at for some odd reason. I told him to already change and warm up, but I know him. Can't let him alone for too long. He'll force something later on. So, I'll bring you to the gym room and you can stay and entertain yourself or ask Nena if you can already do something? I don't know. Really you're the first person after me that got a job here," well.. I think I'm maybe not the most awkward person here then..

"Oh, yeah uhm... okay. Can you maybe uh, bring me to someone? He drove me here, and I certainly am not going to walk back home," I asked him rather ashamed. He nodded and smiled again.

"Sure, Horan-"

"Niall,"

"Yeah, sure Niall. Who's this dude?"

"Zayn, Malik," I answered.

"Malik?" he asked me as if I was talking about a ghost. I just nodded. "Okay, he must be training with Mike," he said.

We walked into the huge room where a lot of guys were working out. Sweaty bodies were training their muscles and grunting every now and then. Oh I sure as hell love to be here... Niall concentrate! Please don't lose it here and now. That's be embarrassing. Man-up before anyone catches you.

Liam started to walk through all the sweaty bodies, and I followed him like a well trained dog. "Malik. I've got some company for you," he said as we reached Zayn. His shirt he was wearing a while ago was now laying messily on the floor beside him. He was flexing his biceps when he lifted the heavy looking weights. He looked up as Liam finished his sentence and got up from the machine that was making him as muscular as he is now.

His sweat was slowly dripping from his body. Oh, such a sight... "Hey, Niall. How did it go? What's the job you've got? You did sign now didn't you?" I rolled my eyes and nodded.

"Yeah I signed. Went pretty well. I think that girl from behind the desk likes me or something and..." I stopped myself.

"And... What's the job?" Liam left us during this short time of silence between us and walked back to someone I don't know.

My eyes trailed down to my feet. Those were extremely interesting suddenly and I noticed my shoes weren't even tied properly. I sighed softly before opening my mouth. "Well, I'm officially a cleaning lady..." He started to laugh, holding his toned and muscular stomach as he did.

_Yup... this is going to be a hell of a job...._


	6. Six

_Almost done. Almost done. Almost-_ “Hey, Niall!” I turned around and looked up at the person who the voice belonged to. Zayn.

“Hey, what are you doing here? Only people that work here may enter this place,” I said, fixing my attention back to what I was doing. Zayn chuckled behind me and walked up to me. His right hand took my wrist in a tight grip and he pulled me up, turning me around in one swift motion.

“Oh really?” he was certainly amused with this. My face should be 50 shades of red now and my blood was pumping so hard, it made my hands all sweaty. He came closer and closer till his face was so close to mine that I could feel his breath on my lips. My eyes were looking deeply into his brown golden ones and my breath hitched back in my throat. His lips formed a smirk and I knew he was fooling around with me. He started to laugh and backed away. “You should’ve seen your face! Oh god,” I glared at him and crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m so sorry Niall. It was just hilarious. You were like so scared I was going to kiss you. I mean, I’m sorry I’m not gay, don’t worry,” Yeah… that hurts…

I fake chuckled and let my hand go to the back of my neck. “Yeah, nice… very funny Zayn,” I said awkwardly. To be honest, I wasn’t thinking that that was awkward, I was just embarrassed and ashamed.

He shook his head and walked back to the door to lean against the frame of it. “Are you almost done? I remember I offered you to go somewhere to get to know each other, didn’t I?” instead of answering, I turned around and placed the last few things back in its place.

With a sigh I turned back around and smiled. “All done,” I said. Zayn rolled his eyes and stood back right up.

“Great! Let’s go then!” he announced. I just nodded like usual and walked out of the room. We both walked back to the desk where Nena was sitting. She was so busy typing away on her phone that she didn’t even notice us. I cleared my throat and smiled once she looked up. A big flirty smile was placed on her lips as she eyed the both of us. Probably more Zayn, because he was only wearing a very tight t-shirt that made his abs look well formed through the thin fabric.

“Horan! Zayn! Can I help any of you boys?” she asked all too sweetly.

“I’m going home. I did everything you asked me and my shift is only till 6. So I’m actually free now,” I explained. Why I said all that? I have literally no idea, but oh well.

“Great! I’m happy to see you’re really going for it! I hope to see you tomorrow! Oh and remember, if you can’t come for some reason, don’t forget to call me and warn me,” she said. I nodded and looked up at Zayn. Ugh.. I hate it that he’s a bit taller than I am…

“Okay, well, we’ll get going,” Zayn said.

“Bye Nena!” I called as both Zayn and I turned around, our backs facing her.

“Bye boys! Have a lovely evening,” she called after us. That woman needs to get a boyfriend. Seriously…

We walked to Zayn’s car and he asked me about how it all went and if I liked working there. He sounds like my mom, which reminds me that I’ll probably will have the same conversation with her later this evening. “It’s already late, maybe I should go home. We can always catch up on days when I’m off earlier or when I don’t have to work?” I asked. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go with him, it’s just really late and my mom would probably be worried if I didn’t show up.

Zayn’s face saddened and I already felt bad. “Yeah’s cool. I’ll pull up at yours then and you can just text me if you want to hang for a bit, yeah?” I nodded quietly and stared out of the window of the car that was driving me back home.

“Niall?  We’re at yours. Wake up,” I heard a soft voice whispere in my ear. My eyes slowly opened and were met with the brown golden eyes I’ve seen the whole day. “Hey, you fell asleep,” he said with a soft smile. I groaned and stretched myself a bit before I yawned and smiled tiredly back at him.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized. He just smiled wider and shook his head. “I’ll text you once I can, yeah?”

“Sure thing. Now go get to your mother. She’ll be worried sick,” he said. I looked at the time. ‘8:49’. Wow. How can it already be that late?! “There was somewhere an accident and we got stuck in the traffic. Your phone vibrated a few times, but you didn’t notice and you looked so cute asleep, I thought I just let you take a nap. Anyway, I’d go inside before your mother kills you,” he explained. I nodded and turned around quickly before opening the door. I got out and looked at the front door. A small sigh escaped my lips before I turned back to Zayn.

“Thanks for helping me. Bringing me home. Actually thanks for everything Zayn,” I said awkwardly.

“Nah, ‘s no problem at all, Nialler. Really. It’s nice to have a friend at the gym. I see you tomorrow then?” he asked.

“Probably, since I work there now,”

“True story, my friend. Anyway, bye Niall,”

“See yah,”

I closed the door and waved at Zayn as he pulled out and drove away. With a soft sigh I walked over to the front door, unlocked it and went inside. I was met even quicker with an angry mom then I expected, but she didn’t look like she was going to punish me or anything. “Niall James! I thought you said you weren’t going to be late, huh? I called you fucking 4 times! You know you have to pick up when I call you the first time!”

“Ma, we got stuck in the traffic. I fell asleep in Zayn’s car, so I didn’t notice you called me. I’m sorry,” she sighed and crossed her arms.

“Baby, you worried me so bad there. It’s late, I didn’t know where you were and you didn’t pick up the phone. What am I supposed to think in such a situation. I’m your mother. That means I worry too fast when my baby doesn’t respond to my calls or texts,” she said.

Rolling my eyes at her, I smiled. “At least I got some good news then,” I changed topic. It’s not that it’s really good news for me, because I’m not really the ‘cleaning lady’ type, but a job is a job. It’s not too hard what I do and I get paid so much more than I was at Starbucks, so yeah… I should just be happy, I guess.

“You have the job?” she asked excitedly. I nodded and smiled at the way her eyes shone a little bit. She’s really happy that I got a job. Strange for her, but oh well. “Oh, baby I’m so happy for you! Are you paid well? Is it a nice job? Are the people nice there? Oh tell me everything!” she rambled.

…

“Good night honey,” my mom said as she kissed my cheek and went on watching TV. One of her favourite shows was on and she definitely wanted to see it, but I’m not really in the mood, so I decided to go to bed pretty early for a change. I have to wake up at 6am anyway, so why not going to bed earlier?

“Good night, Ma,” I said before walking up the stairs and into my room. I did my whole routine and got into bed.

**TO: LOU <3**

**‘Hey, bro. (: xx**

**Niall Horan.’**

I waited a few seconds, but he’s always really quick to answer.

**FROM: LOU <3**

**‘Hey, babe. How was your day? ;*’**

**TO: LOU <3**

**‘Really cool actually. Got that job. Should say, it’s all because Zayn was there tho. He’s actually cute, isn’t he? (; xx**

**Niall Horan.’**

It didn’t take him a minute to respond.

**FROM: LOU <3**

**‘OMG!!!!! Does little Nialler have a crush on Zayn?! And why do you tell me this right before I go to sleep?! Oh god. Tell me every detail you nasty bastard!’**

I laughed softly and shook my head. He’s such an idiot.

**TO: LOU <3**

**‘No I don’t fancy him! I just… well yeah, he just has something interesting. What can I say? I just need a boyfriend!!!! LOU!!! I’M GETTING SO DESPERATE! It’s almost illegal! Xx**

**Niall Horan.’**

It took Louis so much time after that. Not even 5 minutes later, I let my head fall into my soft and big pillow. I’m not tired, I just don’t really have anything else to do. My phone vibrated again and a smirk was placed on my lips. Finally Louis answered!

**FROM: ZAYN :)**

**‘Hey, Nialler. Was your mother mad at you for being late? I’m really sorry if she was :(** **. Are you already sleeping? It's not that late, but maybe you always go to bed early? I don't know. Anyway, I was wondering if I should pick you up tomorrow again? I mean, if you don't want to, then that's fine by me, I just thought it'll be easier? I can keep you company tomorrow? ;) Xo'**

My mouth was slightly hanging open. I really didn't expect to get a text from him that fast, but it's not that I mind it. It's actually weird. I don't have a single feeling for Zayn, but he keeps spinning in my head. He looks good, I have to admit. He's nice, yes very nice actually. He isn't funny, at all, but that's not all too bad. I'm funny for two.

I don't know what's up with me. I only know that I don't like Zayn in that way. I might be desperate and gay, but that doesn't mean I want to get into everyone's pants...

My phone vibrated, and a second after that again. Must have two messages then.

**FROM: LOU <3**

**'ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! You totally need to get laid, Ni! It's so obvious! Zayn's not your type, boo. I know you, but oh well... You know, if you want me to get you someone? I mean... I have a lot of connections... whatcha say? :*'**

I mentally face palmed myself. He's such an annoying fuck.

**FROM: ZAYN :)**

**'Kiddo? You must be asleep now... hmmm. Sorry, Nialler Xo'**

I sighed and opened a new message page.

**TO: LOU <3**

**'No, sorry. I wasn't asleep, just... busy... Anyway, sounds very nice. Thanks again for driving me to my work. About the keeping company... you know only workers are allowed at the places where I mostly am. But we'll see... otherwise you can keep Nena some company? Xx**

**Niall Horan.'**

**TO: ZAYN :)**

**'I say: NO WAY! I am not going to be fucked by some creepy old man! Lou, I thought you loved me! Xx**

**Niall Horan'**

I closed my eyes and waited till one of them answered. I didn't expect it to be that quick....

**FROM: LOU <3**

**'What? Niall... you sent to the wrong person... :D'**

OH SHIT!

My hands were shaking a lot and my heart was beating so hard that I could feel it in my throat.

_1_ _*_

I took two deep breaths and opened the message from Zayn.

**FROM: ZAYN :)**

**'Uhm.... I think you've texted the wrong person... It's still Zayn here... We have to talk tomorrow. Serious talk. I'll see you then. bye. Xo'**

I'm ruined! I just ruined my life!

_Well, it is your fault..._

Did I ask for any critiques? No, I don't think so.

After a second of getting my thoughts all cleared, I decided to just go to bed and sleep. Sleep will probably solve everything. Tomorrow when I wake up, everything will be alright. I just dreamed everything. I know I did.

My eyes closed and it didn't take me long to fall asleep in a long and peaceful dream. 


	7. Seven

"Your eyes are still heavy,

It's only 5.38.

I know that it's still early,

So I expect a day of hate.

But if I was you now,

I'd stand up really quick.

You're lazier than a cow,

But you're cuter than my dick..-" Louis sang while playing some accords on my guitar. How I know it's my guitar? Well one: Louis doesn't have one. Two: he loves to touch my stuff...

I groaned and picked up my pillow to throw it to Louis who was probably standing somewhere random in my room. When I heard a soft huff and a lot of laughing after, I knew I succeeded to hit Louis. Mission: Accomplished!

"I so hate you," I grumbled into my spare pillow as I could feel the bed dip a little bit.

"You hate it that you love me so much. So you don't hate me, you basically are hating on yourself, princess. Now get up! You didn't think I would just leave you after that last message, now did you? By the way, I almost broke your guitar... BUT! I did save it in time. You know, throwing a pillow to someone with a guitar in his hands, is actually playing with fire. You're lucky I know you love your guitar!"

Mentally letting a piano falling onto him, I stood up slowly, still adjusting to the light that was coming from my window, which Louis opened, just so you know it... "Well, if you break it, you pay it. And get the fuck out of my room you!" I mumbled grumpily.

"Awh someone's a bit grumpy. Didn't the little leprechaun get to his gold last night? Awhh," he mocked me. A simple glare was enough to shut him up, for now... "Anyway, what was that last night with the messages? I seriously got confused, but you seemed to be texting Zayn, my cousin's best friend, which is totally gross 'cause he's like... her ex and all... But anyway, if you sent to me what you were sending to him, did you also sent to him what you were about to send me? If so, then- Ouch! Bu-" This time I threw my spare pillow to him when he didn't expect it, hitting him successfully in the face. "That was not very nice of you,"

"You aren't very nice," I said childish, sticking out my tongue out at him.

"Oh how mature of you. Are we back to the kindergarten today? I mean, sounds nice, but I don't think you'd fit between the kiddo's. You don't think like them,"

"And you sure do," I interrupted him a little, fake smiling up at him as I was trying to pull on my socks.

"Well yeah, I have a very childish imagination. I think like kids, you know," he said, leaning against the doorframe.

"You'd fit right in. Anyway, who let you in? I thought my mom was still sleeping?" I asked as I stripped out of my shirt I slept in and changed it into something more... presentable.

"Nice little body you got there my little, fake blonde leprechaun. But no, I'm actually good at finding spare keys," he said. His hand slipped into the pocket of his jeans and got out with the spare key we always keep for when someone -Mostly me- forgot the key or just came home really late without the key...

I rolled my eyes and grabbed the key from his hands. "Stealing is not polite Lou. I thought Johannah taught you. Oh I should definitely talk to her about it, but for now. Get your ass down stairs immediately before I kick it there! We need a serious talk, no laughing, knowing you..." He rolled his eyes and swore he won't laugh before walking with me down the stairs. My mom's door was closed and I know she did that because she knows I have to get up really early now.

...

"No way! Niall that's so embarrassing! You know he now knows you like dick right?" he laughed. Even though Louis promised not to laugh at it, he still did... And I was so stupid to show him what I texted to Zayn...

"You promised not to laugh," I whined, burying my face in my pulled-up knees.

"I'm so sorry, boo. I just had to! It's so painfully embarrassing. How could you even have mixed us up? Were you even thinking straight?"

"Lou! Of course I was! I was just a little tired and I got messages from you and Zayn. I thought to answer them both at once, and well yeah, I didn't look at the name and just texted to you what I was going to sent to Zayn and to visa versa..." I explained.

"Dude..." he said, "you're fucked..."

_Like as if I don't already know that..._

...

Louis left a quarter ago and now I was waiting for Zayn to drive with me. I mean, after what happened yesterday, I wouldn't look up oddly if he didn't come today... I wouldn't if I would find out the dude I was teasing that day by acting like I was about to kiss him, is gay and is actually expected to like it instead of be disgust. And I definitely wouldn't if I would have such a nice body as Zayn. I mean... Zayn may be not my type, but gosh I'd murder someone for that body...

My stomach started to grumble. Oh true... didn't eat anything yet...

I jumped up and walked into the kitchen, fixing me a bowl of cereal before I walked to the kitchen table and ate it calmly. I glanced at my watch a few time, but I have plenty of time. I have to be there at 8.30am and it was only 7.21. So plenty of time...

My phone buzzed, signing me that I have a message. I looked at my phone.

**FROM: ZAYN :)**

_Oh god..._

' **I'm coming earlier, is that okay? I basically want to talk to you. Like... a real talk. If that's okay of course. This time... text to the right person. Xo** '

_Okay, well that was rude..._

A nervous sigh escaped my lips.

**TO: ZAYN :)**

**'Yeah, uh sure. Come over, I have plenty of time to get at my work and Lou-Hole woke me up at fucking 5.30, so yes, I have time...**

**Niall Horan. Xx'**

I just came to realize... I'm inviting the dude that will kill me within a few seconds over at my house... Am I stupid or something? Like I didn't learn anything from the past! I lost so many friends since I came out to them. Only Louis and Olivia stayed my friends and I promised myself not to tell anyone ever again that I'm gay. Sure my mum knows, but that's because she's... well she's my mother and she basically get's everything out of me...

My phone vibrated again.

**FROM: ZAYN :)**

**'Be there in 5 Xo** '

Now I started to be nervous. Never, ever in my life would I think I'd be nervous to see a guy I don't even like that way.

_Well I don't agree to that one..._

What? I don't like Zayn in more than friends. We aren't even friends, so shut up!

_Be happy, Niall. You're not friend-zoned... yet._

Oh I just know you're smirking right now!

_Shouldn't you be worrying about your crush or something?_

Shouldn't you shut your mouth? I'm not in the mood to argue with you!

My thoughts were interrupted by vibration of my phone and a soft knock on the door. Like as if I would hear that if I wasn't sitting alone in silence in the living room...

**FROM: ZAYN :)**

' **I'm here Kiddo. Open the door Xo'**

I have no idea why, but my heart is pounding so hard in my chest as if I just ran a marathon. I'm probably more nervous because of the fact I sent to Zayn literally that I'm gay, but there is a possibility that I'm just excited to see his reaction...

With shaky hands, I unlocked the door and let Zayn in. The cold wind from outside hit my bare arms, making goose bumps cover it all. Without a word being said, Zayn just passed me and walked into the living room, making himself comfortable as he placed his bum on my couch. I walked in after him and looked rather nervous at him. He probably noticed, because his eyes changed from a rather rude look to a more worried one. "Don't be nervous, Niall. I just want to talk. That's all," I nodded, still not feeling all too comfortable. "C'mon. Take a seat, please," I placed my own bum on the same couch, just at the other side of Zayn. He sighed and rolled his eyes, taking place right next to me. "Don't look like I'm going to hurt you or anything. Like I said. I may look like a badboy, but I'm the opposite. I'm nice, and I can be sweet and I don't hurt friends. Hell I can't even hurt a spider," he said, making me just twice as uncomfortable. "Sorry, let's just uh... let's just talk," I nodded and he let out a sigh of relieve I guess.

It was quiet between us for a few seconds, till I finally opened my mouth. "L-Look Zayn. Last night, I was trying to text you and Louis all at once and I was so tired that I just read wrong and I sent to you what was meant to go to Louis and he texted me and said that I probably sent wrong and then you did the same and I just freaked out a little bit, because last time I told someone my secret, they didn't want to be my friend anymore and I was broken by it because I always thought they were true friends, but I was clearly wrong back then and well yeah the point is..." I said all in almost one breath. Did he even understand one bit of it? gosh I'd be surprised if he did. "I'm gay and I'm totally fine with it. Only not everyone I know is fine with it as much as I am..." I added after a second of breathing. Zayn looked at me with a thoughtful expression, yet he stayed silence. "Please say something..." I almost begged.

A deep sigh escaped his pink lips. He looked down at his hands that were folded in his lap before he looked back up at me, a compassioned smile tugging at his lips. "Niall, stop worrying about what people think about you. You're a wonderful guy and I just never expected you to be... well, gay. I mean, ugh, I'm making no sense at all. Okay look. Niall, I truly am sorry for your friends, but look at it in this way: If they don't accept you the way you are, then they're no real friends. I'm also sorry for joking on you last time at the gym... it was actually inappropriate of me and I shouldn't have done that to yo-"

"That's totally fine. I was just worried tha-" the words slipped back into my throat as if I wasn't able to even say them.

"That I wouldn't want to be friends with you anymore. Niall, that's something I won't ever let happen. Hey, I'm not homophobic. I guess I just freaked out yesterday, because... well yeah, I'm a dude and you like those an-"

"I'm not having a crush on you. Don't worry. It's not because I'm gay, that I suddenly find every guy attractive..." I interrupted him. I mean, everywhere you come, straight guys are scared that the ' _gay dude_ ' falls for them, but the thing is, we don't just like everyone. You don't like every girl on the world either, so why would guys that just like the same gender suddenly like all the guys on the planet? We aren't a disease...

"Yeah sorry," he apologized. I just surged it off and smiled at him.

We talked a bit more after that about just random everything, leaving the ' _gay_ ' topic out this time, which really made me relax again. I guess we were having a pretty great chat, that we seriously lost track of time. Mom already came downstairs and gave us a confused look. "Good morning boys. Care to join breakfast? Or do you already have to leave?" she asked. I looked at my watch after saying ' _good morning_ ' to her.

"Nah, we actually still have half an hour, so if you don't mind, can you make me an omelet with bacon? Please?" I asked, stretching the last word at the end.

She rolled her eyes and sweetly smiled at me. "Because you're such a doll." She then looked af Zayn and smiled ever so brightly. "Zayn, isn't it?" she basically asked. Zayn nodded and smiled. "Would  you like some eggs, too? You're always welcome to join us," she said. Gosh, she just does that to annoy me, now doesn't she? Did she listen to our conversation or something? If she did, then she sure as hell is doing this because she wants to get me back for last time...

"No thank you very much, Mrs. Horan,"

"Oh no dear, call me Maura. If you're in my house, you call me Maura or Mom. Got it?" she'll be the case of my death...

"Yes Mrs. Horan," she rolled her eyes and sighed before tsking Zayn for saying it again. "Sorry, Maura," he corrected himself, causing her to smile like a fool. She just doesn't like to be called Mrs. She hates it, thinks it makes her older than she is.

"You're a fast learner. Anyway, eggs will be ready in 5, you're staying and eating with us, if you like it or not," she said before walking into the kitchen and preparing our breakfast. Gosh isn't she annoying?

"I'm so sorry for her..." I whispered to Zayn who just shook his head and smiled into the direction of the kitchen where my mom was standing with her back to us, again swaying her hips on the rhythm of the song she was playing on the radio. She sure is a woman of my heart.

Zayn chuckled softly at the sight in front of him. "She's lovely, Niall. I wish my mom was like her. Not that I'm complaining, she's just more busy with my sisters and well yeah... Also, she doesn't tease me or anything. She thinks that's inappropriate. She's our mother, not our friend... She always says..." Zayn sighed. He looked a bit upset, but recovered himself rather quickly and smiled before talking back to me about what his plans were on doing today.

...

"Bye Ma! See you after work," I called to her before opening the door.

"Oh boy, don't you dare to come home late! 6.30 and no second later, got it? Earlier is always welcome, you know that and for you Zayn, you're always welcome to have breakfast with us! Oh and don't you hesitate to ask your mother to come and have dinner with us! I'd love to meet her after everything you told me about her. She seems a lovely woman. Knows what she wants," she said.

"Something you can learn of," I barely whispered, but she caught me like a ninja.

"I'm still your mother, Nialler. Don't you dare to talk to me like that, or the first person you bring in here will see your little baby bum on all the pictures I got," she threatened me.

"You're such a lovely mother," I said sarcastically and rolled my eyes.

"And you know it. Now get going you two! You're going to get late and searching another job, isn't an option for you, now is it? Hup! Get there before I kick you there,"

"Bye Ma!" I said before pulling at Zayn's hand, trying to get us out of this house as quick as possible.

"See you another time Zayn. Don't forget to ask your parents and Niall, get home in time." I slammed the door closed and let out a relieved breath.

"I think I love your mother, baby Nialler," Zayn teased.

I glared at him and crossed my arms. "If you want to survive this day, I'd stop right here," he just laughed and put his hands up in defeat.

...

"No Niall, first the desk! I have to work here, you know! Gosh!" Nena wasn't in an all too happy mood today and she sure didn't like it that I wasn't really prepared to know what to first.

I quickly apologized to her and started to clean her desk first before I did all the rest. "Great. Now I'm sorry for the yelling just a minute ago. I'm just a bit stressy today. My father wants to meet my 'boyfriend' and well yeah..." she trailed off.

"You don't have a boyfriend, do you?" I asked a bit rudely, but she didn't seem to care.

"No. He dumped me a year ago, but I just can't seem to get another one. Everyday my dad asks me if I'm still happy with Adam, but well, what can I say? I don't want him to be disappointed in me because I was always the only one that could make him proud. My brother is unfortunately gay and my parents got him out of the house once he told them. He's 'no family' anymore for them. So I don't want to disappoint them by saying I don't have a boyfriend anymore," she explained looking down a bit.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" she looked up and nodded. "Well... this may sound rude, but Are you a lesbian by chance?" she chuckled softly and shook her head.

"It's not rude at all, Niall. I get why you just ask that, but no. I'm not. It's just, my dad always seemed to like the fact that guys liked me pretty easy. Just a year ago, me and my ex, Adam were actually a couple for 5 years. He ended it because he told me he didn't love me anymore and that he just cared to much for me to suffer from the fact that he would otherwise be cheating on me. So he dumped me and got this other girl Keyla or something. Anyway, yesterday my mother called me to say they were coming to visit me here. They live in New York City and I didn't want to live there so I moved together with my best friend here. Now she told me that he was curious to see how it goes between me and my boyfriend. I already told them last night that we broke up a year ago. My dad was so upset that I just lied and told him I already got another guy. He just got so happy and well yeah... I just don't know what to do! They'll be here tonight, at my apartment and I'm just scared to say that I never got a boyfriend after Adam," she ranted. I just listened carefully. I guess she just needs a person who listens to her. Maybe her friend doesn't have much time for her so she just keeps it all for herself.

"Hey, listen to me. You may not be perfect, maybe very imperfect," she didn't smile at all at that.

_Great... good job Niall..._

"But from what I just heard from you seems like you're such an amazing girl. Guys are crazy if they don't like you. Maybe you just needed a break and you maybe just showed that to the guys. We may act stupid and we may not understand woman all the time, but we do understand them. It can be very hard to be a girl, I mean, not that I have experiences, but I do have these amazing friends that seriously can make me feel like I'm a girl sometimes and well yah, it can't be that easy to be a girl." She gave me a confused look and just waited for me to go on. "What I'm saying is. You're lovely. Sure you may not be all to nice to me from the beginning on, but I'm sure you're this amazing girl and again, dudes are crazy if they don't like you. I mean, look at you. You're so beautiful. So pretty. A guy should be begging on his knees to be yours. To just even stare at you. And I'm sure that a beautiful girl, is also beautiful on the inside. Don't let your hopes fade. Your parents will understand, and if they don't, call me and we'll talk or something, yeah?" I seemed to make her smile anyway, and I guess that was just my goal today...


	8. Eight

“ _She’ll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain._

_She’ll make you live her crazy life, but she’ll take away the pain,_

_Like a bullet through your brain,_

_C’mon!”_

Swaying my hips at the song I was playing on my iPod –yes I know, that thing is getting old, but why buying something new if the old ones still work?- as I cleaned up ‘ _my place_ ’. I call it mine because it’s where all the cleaning-stuff is and well yeah, I’m most of the time here, finding the right thing. I also figured out today, that waxing the floor, isn’t a great idea… Nena was furious when she fell on her bum, but laughed after I started to laugh like a fool. I really think she doesn’t hate me anymore. Talking to her was maybe really a great idea.

_“Upside, inside out._

_She’s livin’ la vida loca._

_She’ll push and pull you down_

_Livin’ la vida loca._

_Her lips are devil red_

_And her skin’s the colour moca._

_She will wear you out._

_Livin’ la vida loca._

_Come on!_

_She’s livin’ la vida loca.”_

The music was playing not all too loud, so people outside this room couldn’t hear it, and I did close it before I even started my music, but since I plugged my iPod into the boxes I got from Nena, who was suddenly very generous, I could sing out loud and dance around without having to care not to lose my earbuds.

Once everything was done with cleaning and soaping and blah blah blah, I could smell the actually delicious smelling soap. It reminded me of flowers or something. Just something sweet. Must remember these products so I can use them once I live alone… Or if I could get my mom to buy it now… yeah definitely going to try that…

Dancing around like a fool after everything was set in the right place, I turned back around to the door but stopped and froze in my spot for a second. “Didn’t know you could move  like that, Nialler,” Zayn chuckled.

I stopped my music and glared at him. “You can do better, huh?” I challenged.

He just smirked and bit his lower lip. His body was leaning casually against the doorframe as he was looking at me, following my actions and probably brainwashing me with his burning eyes on me. “Oh, no one is better than you, Niall. But I can always give it a try, right?” he winked at me. Is he seriously playing me? Like, no kidding. He really shouldn’t be friends with Louis… it affects him… Louis seriously is like a disease…

“Are you challenging me?” an amused smirk was placed on my face.

“No, I’m just saying that you should take dance lessons,” he answered like it was the most obvious thing ever.

“Oh shut up and take me home, you!” I fake snapped. Rolling his eyes he stood up from the doorframe and waited for me to walk out and lock the door. We both walked back to the desk where Nena always is, him behind me and his hand on my lower back. “Nena, I’m leaving,” I called over my shoulder.

“Oh, sure, love!” she said. “Wait! Niall,” I turned around and so did Zayn to face Nena. I nodded, signing to her to continue. She looked a bit embarrassed and played with her fingers a little bit, looking down at her hands as she did so. “Well… about earlier…” she looked up and pulled a lock of hair behind her ear. “Oh god, this is awkward to ask but-“ she stopped herself and chuckled awkwardly at herself.

“Just say it,” She nodded, but looked up in an almost pleading look. She mentioned to Zayn with her eyes and I understood immediately. I turned to Zayn and smiled. “I’ll be there in a minute, promise,” I said to him, hoping he would get the hint.

“Oh, yeah okay, I get it. Don’t stay too long here or I’ll come and get you,” he said I nodded and smiled as he walked off to the door an out of the building.

Turning back to Nena, she smiled softly at me. “Well, uhm… you helped me so much with your words earlier and uhm… well, I wanted to ask for a favour, but it’s totally fine if you say no,” she said, getting the last part out almost too fast to understand.

“Just ask me. I’m sure it’s no big deal, Nena,” she nodded smiled weakly.

“W-Well… you know my dad is coming over tonight right?” I nodded. “And I don’t have a boyfriend anymore and really I can’t tell him that I don’t have one. He’ll be so disappointed in me,”

“Your point is?” I didn’t want her to rush anything, but Zayn is waiting and well yeah… not later than 6.30 at home… my mom woud kill me if I’m a bit later.

“Can you be my fake boyfriend for the evening?” she rushed out without hesitating this time. I must admit, I was completely stunned and frozen in my spot. I actually didn’t expect that to be her question… “Oh I’m so sorry, it was stupid to ask you! I shouldn’t have ask you in the first pla-“

“No, Nena it’s not that. It’s just… I uhm…” Should I tell her?

_Are you freaking out of your mind?!_

What? No. Why?

_Telling her, means she’ll hate on you, all over again. She liked you because of your cute face, not because of you, you nitwit! She’ll definitely hate you and make your work miserable. Do not tell her!_

Okay…

“I’m not a great actor and well yeah… I never actually dated in the first place,” Well that wasn’t a lie at all. I never dated a girl nor a guy. Never kissed or got laid. And to be honest, even though I’m a bit too old for not having any experiences, I’m totally fine with being all too innocent.

“That’s okay, really. Please, just try? If it doesn’t work, then at least you’re there. If I have to tell them that I don’t have a boyfriend, then I at least want someone to be there,” I nodded, understanding what she’s saying. When I first told my mom I was gay, Louis was there with me. He was the first to know. He also was the one that actually made me realize I'm gay.

I sighed and thought about it for a second. Mom won’t like this… that’s for sure. I mean, she just wouldn’t like knowing I’m out without her knowing really where it is. Hell even I don’t know where she lives. Maybe she’ll like me more if I do this… “Fine. But let me ask my mom first…” her smile was so cute and bright. Her eyes even shone when she smiled and nodded excitedly.

Pulling out my phone, I started to feel a bit… nervous. My mom isn’t really the person to say yes to me if I ask to go out later than 8… I pressed the call button and brought my phone to my ear before waiting a few beeps. “What do you want now, annoying child you are,” that’s how she always picks up the phone…

“Just a nice, sweet and understanding mother would be enough… thank you,” I snapped rudely back.

“Niall James-“

“I know! Anyway, a girl I know asked me if I could uh… come over to hers… this evening,” I said.

“Sure, be home before midnight,” she just said. WOW! That went surprisingly great… Too great if you ask me… Suspicious…

“Ma…. What are you planning on doing? Or what’s behind this all. Seriously, I know you,”

I heard a small gasp and then a giggle from the other side of the line. “Okay, okay, you got me! You got me! Well you know I haven’t seen anyone lately after your dad, right?” There it comes… “Well, I was at work today and this man was with his best friend. He had an accident or something, but that isn’t important now, what is important is that I’m going out with him tonight, so I wouldn’t be home anyway… I would ask you to bring Louis over or something, ‘cause you know how much I hate to leave you alone at home…” she explained. “So actually this is great. But I’ll be back before 12, so I warn you young man. Be home in time or you won’t go out after work till your 40th!” I rolled my eyes and smiled a little.

“Sure ma, but about this gu-“

“Sorry love, got to go! Bye! Love you!”

“But Ma-“ and the line went dead. Oh this isn’t over yet! If that guy doesn’t treat her the way he has to, oh then he sure is a dead man! Normally my mom would ask my opinion of the guy, and until now, I always said “no”, but that was because they were really wrong, so actually I know who she has to date and who she shouldn’t. Also, being gay has some good parts too, ‘cause if my mom ask me if someone’s cute, then I can at least give my opinion…

“And? Is it okay? Can you come? Oh please say you can! Please!” Nena asked, almost plead.

“Yeah, mom said it’s okay. She’s going out with someone I don’t even know, so she’ll be dead once she’s home, but till then I can come over. Just need to change. Give me your address and I’ll be there at uh…”

“Eight?”

“Yeah sure, will do just fine. Be there at eight tonight. Kay?” she nodded and texted me the address. “Bye Nena!”

“Bye Niall! Thanks again!” she called.

 I walked out and towards Zayn’s car. He was leaning against it, casually like usual. Sneaking up next to him, I waited till he noticed me, but that never happened. “ZAYN!” I yelled, making him yelp and jump a little. I laughed out loud and grabbed my stomach. “Why so jumpy Zayn? Having secrets I should know about?” I asked still chuckling softly.

He glared at me, muttering a quiet ‘no’ before walking to his side of the car and climbed into it. I laughed a little bit again and decided not to give a fuck about the rest.

The drive back to my house was pretty awkward. I explained Zayn about Nena’s situation, leaving the ‘Not getting a boyfriend’-thing and the actual reason out and he just nodded, probably not even giving a shit about it. He only asked me if I wasn’t gay, so well yeah, the awkward answer I had to say was: ‘Yes, but this is just doing a favour for a friend,’ No, I’m not ashamed to be gay. I’m comfortable with looking at guys and I’m also comfortable with complimenting some girl with her new  clothes or whatever. I mean, I’m not the kind of gay guy where you literally can see it. Sometimes Lou acts really like the stereotype gay guy… but I’m not like that, so why would I act like it?

…

“You look fine, idiot. It’s just for the parents of that girl, you’ll be fine. And remember, boyfriends of girls aren’t talking too much, kay?” Louis was here all the time once Zayn dropped me off. He kept asking why I wouldn’t invite him over, because my mom had unfortunately told Louis she was going out. Once he finally got why, he started to ask if he could help with my outfit. I was totally not going all dressed up anyway, but Louis just made it impossible to dress like myself. His conclusion why: ‘You look like an old pizza that lay way too long in the open air’.

“Even boyfriend of guys don’t talk more than they should, so stop acting like I’m no human, ‘cause if I’m something else than a simple human being, then you’re just as less human as I am. Remember that,” I snapped. He rolled his eyes and laughed.

“You’re such a girl,” I huffed and just turned around, walking out of my room and down the stairs. Louis followed me and held the door open for me as we both walked out. “Oh and remember, you’re a charming man. I know you can get those parents to love you, because you’re Niall Sexy-Beast Horan,” I rolled my eyes and walked to my crappy car.

With a last wave to Lou, I started the crappy car and drove off to Nena, who was probably stressing out now…

_Let the odds be ever in_ my _favour…_


	9. Nine

“Oh Niall you seem to be a lovely guy. I’m happy Nena could have such a great boyfriend like you! Be good for her, okay? And remember, you’re always welcome in our family! I must met your mother one day, make sure to ask her about it, yeah?” Nena’s mother is the sweetest woman ever, I swear. Gosh, I love her.

Her dad came to me and offered me his hand to take. “You seem like a great lad, son. I hope you make my little girl happy. If not, I’ll find you, got it?” he whispered the last part. Mostly the threatening part…

“I’ll make sure to take care of your daughter, sir.” He nodded a bit sternly and walked out of the door together with his wife. Nena closed the door and let herself slid down against it.

“Fuck that was close!” she breathed out ending up and a soft chuckle. “I’ll never _ever_ invite them over again in my house again! Fuck,”

“Stop swearing,” I laughed softly. She rolled her eyes and smiled, muttering a ‘sorry’ before standing back up and hugging me. “I have to go, see you tomorrow at work, yeah?” she nodded against me and pulled back before placing a kiss on my cheek.

“You’re a doll for doing this for me. Thanks Niall, again,” I just nodded and smiled before opening the door again and walking out.

Now only getting home before 12… and kicking my mother’s new boyfriend out…

…

“Wake up you, cocksucker! It’s time to go to work and I, your lovely friend, best person on the world, am waking you, so you better wake up with a happy smile!” a loud voice almost yelled into my ear. I groaned and got up out of bed before attacking Louis, smashing a pillow in his face. “Can’t… Breath!” he gasped out as I pulled back and smirked. He sighed and let his head fall on the ground dramatically. “Payback?” he asked.

“Payback,” I smirked evilly.

“I hate you,”

“You love me,” I kissed his cheek and got off of him. He just chuckled and stood up. “Wanna come with me to work? I do not really want to be there today, like… for an hour or so. It’s not that I have to come anyway, because I do not have to clean every day. As easy as that,” he rolled his eyes and nodded.

“I’ll come along so we can go for a coffee or something after,” I nodded this time and walking downstairs, seeing my mom already up. Huh? Is it later than usual?

“Hey mom,” I said as I walked into the kitchen, kissing her cheek and grabbing something from the fruit bowl we have on the kitchen table.

She smiled and looked up, seeing Louis. “Spare key?”

“Spare key,” Louis laughed.

“Are we in a new, but worse invented movie of ‘the Fault In Our Stars’ or something?” I asked annoyed.

“Now shut up, you. You’re just moody because you cried during the movie like a waterfall when your cousins were here,” mom picked on me. “So how was your night with that girl?” she asked. When I came home last night, my mom wasn’t there yet. I was so tired after 1.30am this morning, that I went to bed and I didn’t notice her coming home…

“Was nice. Her parents really believed we were a couple. And I did had a fun night. Nena is actually a lot nicer than I first thought. She’s cute,” I said. Louis rolled his eyes and mom clapped her hands together and smiled.

“That’s great, baby! I only thought you liked guys?”

I groaned and slapped Louis on the head as he laughed out loud. “I do! She’s just cute for a girl, I’m sorry if I can say that girls can be cute too. Jesus! This house is too hard to stay in the morning, I’m leaving! Bye!”

“Bye hunny!” she called too sweetly as I walked back to the hall and out of the door, slamming it before Louis could even follow me.

I love my mom and all, I’m just really not a morning person…

…

“Niall,” _just ignore it…_ “Niall,” _When is he leaving? I’m not in the mood! Can’t he see that?_ “Niall!” I turned around with an annoyed look and glared at Zayn who was standing in the doorframe, crossed arms over his chest and glaring back at me.

“What?” I snapped angrily. He looked slightly shocked before he rolled his eyes and stood up from the doorframe, walking very slowly towards me.

“What’s bugging you today Nialler? Did something happen?” he asked, still getting closer and closer to me. This always made me feel awkward and uncomfortable. I like Zayn. He’s a nice lad and well yeah he’s cool and all, but I do feel uncomfortable when he’s too close to me or when he basically ‘flirts’ with me even though I don’t think he even notices he does sometimes. Or he's just fooling around with me.

I shrugged and dried my hands with a very soft, baby blue towel. “Just not a morning person,” I said smoothly.

He chuckled, making me give him a weird and confused look. “It’s half past 4pm. Nialler,” he chuckled softly. I just rolled my eyes and groaned a little bit.

He took another step closer to me and let his hands both rest on my shoulders. I just looked down, avoiding his intense gaze. His left hand slide up and down my right arm, making it tingle there a little bit and some goose bumps appeared. His other hand went to my chin, making me look back up into his hazel brown eyes. It seriously was a movie-moment. He just smiled down at me, since he was a little bit taller than me, and winked cutely at me before taking a step  back, making me release a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. He laughed and rolled his eyes. “You really get all worked up when I am close to you, now don’t you?” he chuckled. I blushed crimson red and nodded softly, looking down at my feet that looked extremely interesting suddenly. _He clearly did notice that, Niall…_ “Don’t worry. It’s cute. I know it’s just because I’m way too hot,” he winked at me and smirked. I rolled my eyes and stayed quiet. “You aren’t going to say a word, are you?”

I sighed and opened my mouth a bit. “You’re annoying as fuck. And I was the one that thought I could cool down here at work… Even Louis isn’t that anno- Wait, no that’s a lie. No one is more annoying than Louis. But you’re close,” I finally spoke up.

“It speaks!”

“Correction, you _ARE_ more annoying than Louis,”  he just rolled his eyes and stayed pretty quiet for the rest of the time I worked. I was happy to see that he was actually giving his phone more attention, but I did feel ignored. If I said something, he just answered with a short: ‘Uhu’ or ‘Yeah’.

“I’m going to jump from a bridge and die,” I said, wanting to see his reaction. And not even close to my surprise, he just said: “Yeah cool,”. I rolled my eyes and crossed my eyes. “Okay, so you want me to jump from a bridge and die?” I asked slightly hurt. I knew he wasn’t paying attention at all, but hearing it still hurts. He just answered simply: “Yeah sure,” I huffed and walked to him, standing in front of his feet. Grabbing his phone from his hands, I stuck it in my back pocket of my jeans and got immediately reaction. “Nice to know you want me to jump from a bridge,” I said before he could even complain about his phone. 

He looked shocked and confused. “I neve-“

“Of course not. Because you weren’t even listening to me. I basically told you my life story and you fucking only answered with: ‘uhu’  and ‘Yeah sure’. I mean, sure I’m not that important or interesting, but at least say: ‘Uh no’ next time. That will hurt less,” I huffed softly and passed him. He turned around and walked out of the room so I could close the door.

We both walked to the desk to say bye to Nena, and his hand was as usual on my back, but went lower this time. My eyes almost grew wide, till I felt his hand in my pocket and knew he was just getting his phone back. I snatched his hand away and pulled the phone out of my pocket before glaring at him playfully. “You get your phone back once I’m home. I don’t want to hear you agreeing again to my death,” I said sassily. He just rolled his eyed and put his hand up in defeat.

“Hey, I’m sorry that you asked me the wrong question on the wrong moment,” he said innocently.

“Oh shut up and drive me home. I figured out it’s freaking long walking, so not again, please!” he just laughed and nodded.

“BYE NENA!” I yelled even though she was pretty close to us.

“Gosh, Niall, don’t yell. But bye. See you next week!”

“See you next week yeah… for another cleaning round… nice…” I whispered the last part.

She nodded and waved us out. 

_Let’s go home and sleep away the past few days…_

 


	10. Ten

“Rise and shine, Nialler!” I heard the _way too enthusiastic_ Louis call once he opened the curtains and got my comforter off of my body, making me shiver. The light shone in my eyes and I must say, for someone with a HUGE hangover, I’m pretty used to light. I groaned loudly as he also began to pull at my ankles to get me out of bed. “C’mon Nialler. Now you don’t have to complain! I told you yesterday that drinking so much would hurt in the morning, now we’re here. Get up and take an aspirin, so you don’t have to go through a day of pain,” he said and finally managed to pull me out of bed.

I landed on my back with a loud thud and glared at Louis once I stopped groaning and clenching my teeth from anger and pain. “Hey Lou?” I said bitterly sweet. He looked down at me and smiled softly, yet there was some fear in his eyes, knowing there would probably happen something… “You know… I fucking hate you!” I said grumpily. He just rolled his eyes and nodded.

“Love you too, boo,” he said before placing a sloppy, wet kiss on my cheek.

I wiped it away and glared. “Gross,” I said in disgust. He just chuckled and smiled.

Once I got dressed and ready and all, it was almost the time Zayn usually picks me up. Louis was sitting on the couch, next to _the-already-here_ Zayn Malik and sipping from some tea my mom probably got him. I immediately ignored Louis and Zayn’s comments about me having a hangover and ran into the kitchen to get an aspirin. My mom kissed my cheek and started asking questions about last night, which I simply answered with short answers.

“At least now you know that drinking is nice during it, but hell after,” I nodded, groaning slightly as something fell out of my mom’s hands, making it shatter in a lot of pieces. The sound of it hurt  my head a little, but I was more worried about the pieces of glass. Worrying that someone will cut themselves. “Oh dear, no I got this. Go to work, or you will be late,” she interrupted me when I was going on my knees to get the pieces together. I looked up slightly, asking her if she was sure with just a simple look and she nodded quickly.

“Okay, see you tonight, Ma.” I kissed her cheek once again and walked to the living room, getting Zayn before walking out to his car so we could drive to the gym.

“I’m not staying today. My trainer is sick and told me to take a day off. I heard a lot of people are getting the flu lately. I hope you won’t get sick during work. Because of that cleaning shit you get in touch with the most dirty bacteria. I would be a little bit careful,” he said when we were on the road.

“Oh, I didn’t know about that,”  commented truthfully. Normally my mom would say such things, since she’s a nurse and she always tells me when there are a lot of people who has the flu. She hates it to stay home and take care of me when I have the flu, since she really needs the money sometimes so mostly Louis takes care of me when I get sick.

“Yeah, so better be careful when you’re there,” he smiled at me swiftly before looking back at the road.

…

_‘Cause this is thriller!_

_Thriller night!_

_And no one’s gonna save you from the beast about to strike_

_You know it’s thriller!_

_Thriller night!_

_So let me hold-‘_

“NIALL!” I jumped up, probably a few inches before turning around to face the person who called me. Once I saw who it was, I let a relieved sigh escape my mouth. Nena. “Oh, sorry. Didn’t want to scare you,” she apologized quickly.

“No, it’s okay,” I said, turning off my music. “Tell me, why are you here?” I asked and sat my lazy butt on one of the tables where I put my stuff on.

She chuckled and smiled. “Well, I don’t know why, but our sweet and loving boss wants to talk to you. He said it was something about Styles and Liam. I guess Liam’s sick or something, but I don’t know why our boss wants to talk to you,” she said, explaining half of it.

“Oh… Well uh… I don’t know who he is,” I said a little embarrassed. I mean, I work here for like what? A week? And I never even met the guy that basically took me under his wing… He’s my boss, for crying out loud!

_Dude… chill… It’s only been a week…_

Still. Normally you talk to your boss even before they hire you.

_You may be fucking lucky that he didn’t then. Otherwise you would be still searching._

Shut up!

“That’s okay. Normally you only go to him when you’re in trouble,” she said. My eyes widened and I started to feel very warm inside of my body. Blood rushing through my vines. She must have noticed that I was getting pretty nervous, because she said: “No, no! I didn’t mean that you are in trouble. I mean I only know that mostly when you have to come down at his office, that you did something wrong, but you never did anything wrong, so don’t worry. Sorry for making you nervous!”

“It’s okay. Anyway, let’s go then?” she nodded and walked in front of me, leading the way.

We eventually ended in front of a big, white wooden door with: “Cowell” in big, shining, golden letters. Nena knocked on the door and nodded to me to go inside once we heard a low: “C’min!” from the other side of the door.

I opened the door and walked inside, closing the door right behind me once was in. A man, pretty well built and looking older than me was placed behind a desk. For a gym-center, he’s pretty serious looking and even his office was very strict. I never thought that the boss from a gym center would look like that. “Mr. Horan. There you are! Welcome,” he said kindly, typing away on a laptop that looked pretty fancy.

“Uh yeah… hey,” I said awkwardly.

He chuckled softly and stood up, offering me his hand to shake and sat back in his big chair once I let go of his large hand. “Don’t be nervous, Niall. I’m a very kind man. That’s what they say at least,” he laughed. I faked a small chuckle and looked down. “Nena probably told you about only going up to me when you’re in trouble,” he spoke. I looked back up and slowly nodded, cheeks reddening. “Yeah, I expected her to say that. Anyway, you aren’t in trouble, Niall. If that’s where you’re worrying about.”

“Yeah a bit…” I admitted truthfully.

“Well, let’s get on with the reason why you are in fact here in my office,” he started and I nodded, not saying a word. “You probably noticed the lack of workers today,” he said. I nodded again. “Well, a lot of my workers are sick. Most of them have the flu, but my second best trainer will be out for a while. Some personal stuff going on and yeah, he can’t work for a little while. I asked Mark, one of the trainers that is in fact here today, to take at least one of his clients, but he said he was already full, so then I ended up with my second choice, that being you,” he explained a little bit. My eyes looked at him intensely. What is he trying to say? “So I wanted to ask you if you were okay with training Harry Styles. Liam is his trainer and since he won’t come back for a period of time, I have no idea who to ask this. I could hire someone, but maybe he’s suddenly back and then I don’t want to get the whole ‘firing’ bullshit on me. So I want someone who’s already in my business, and since Nena is needed at the desk and the rest are all too busy, I was hoping you could take Liam’s place till he’s back,” he asked.

“Well uhm… what about the cleaning?” I asked.

_He heck Niall?!_

What?

_You’re getting a change to freaking get away from the cleaning products, yet you ask for it?! You’re sick!_

“Well, that won’t fall of course. We still need a clean and hygieneic gym, but you can just do it when you have time. Like later after work or just skip it a day. When Nena’s free, she can do some of it. She won’t mind. It’s just important that we don’t lose or best client, being it Mr. Styles and his family. Styles Enterprises is one of the biggest companies ever here in England, so we must keep them happy. Mr. Styles’ son loves to train almost daily and if you say yes to this, you will have to be there for him24/7. Even if he calls in the middle of the night. I know it’s a lot to take, but I assume you know that the best thing to do is to ask Liam as much questions you can before start? I’ll make sure to talk to him. He is still home, so you could always go to his and ask away. I’m sure he won’t mind. He’s probably the nicest guy here around. Well except me of course,” he laughed at the end. “So what do you say?”

Wow… well this is a lot!

_Think about it Niall. No need to worry too much. Getting to hang around in the gym and such. You can see all those bo-“_

“I do it!” I almost yelled. He looked pretty shocked at how quickly I was convinced, but just smiled brightly and nodded.

“That’s great news! I’ll call Liam and ask Nena to give you his address. I’ll also ask Mr. Styles to come down and meet you. That way you will be maybe a little bit more comfortable with training. Did you ever train Niall? Or trained someone else?”

I gulped and swallowed auditable. “N-No,” I stuttered out.

“That’s fine. Harry knows what to do, and there is a schedule, so you can always just look at that. It’s totally fine. Liam didn’t even know what working-out was when he worked for me the first day. And look at him now. Second best trainer of this whole building. I’m sure you’ll be fine, now go. Get ready for a meeting with Mr. Styles, yeah?” I nodded and walked out rather quickly.

I passed Nena’s desk and smiled at her. “And? What he say?”

“Just that I am now going to train some dude called Styles or whatever. Liam’s off and I have to talk to that kid now. I’m pretty nervous for that chat, though. But I’m sure it won’t be that bad, right?”

Her eyes almost popped out and a big grin made its way onto her lips. “Oh my god! You are going to train Sex-On-legs-Styles?! You should be totally freaking out now! What’s wrong with you?!” it was more playfully meant –at least I guess- but I didn’t got it.

“Uh… Sorry for not knowing sexy guys?” I apologized for no reason at all.

“It’s okay silly! You’re a guy. I bet you know all the sexy girls anyway. But seriously, Styles is delicious! I’d definitely want to lick chocolate off of his muscles!”

“Hey, I might be 20, but I’m still innocent like a child!” she rolled her eyes and smiled again.

“Be mature! He’s freaking hot! You will totally turn gay for him!” _If she only knew…_

“Turn gay for who Nena?” I heard a deep voice behind me. Deep, raspy. Oh wow. Must be the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard in my life. And I know Zayn…

Nena’s eyes grew a bit wider and without using words, she mouthed to me: “That’s him,” my eyes widened too, being totally embarrassed of our conversation now. “Oh nothing to worry about Mr. Styles,” she said.

An arm, muscular as fuck, was placed right beside me on the desk and through the material of his thin t-shirt, I could feel abs being pressed against my shoulder and back. “Well, I won’t worry about it, so I’d prefer you’d told me who you were talking about,” he said, his voice sounding like little angels singing.

“U-Uh…” she stuttered.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it Nena. Just tell me where I can find this Horan person. I’m supposed to talk to him about him being my new trainer,” I felt my heart beat quicken and my hands started to get sweaty.

“He-he’s right beside you Mr. S-Styles,” she stuttered out.

I felt his body leaving mine to touch and a large hand on my shoulder, forcing me to turn around and face the man with the gorgeously build abs and perfect voice.

And once I turned around, I swear, I lost it right then right there.

“Hi. I’m Harry. Harry Styles,” 

_And I’m already in love with you…_


	11. Eleven

_“Hi. I’m Harry. Harry Styles,”_

My breath hitched back in my throat and for a moment I was just paralyzed with his beauty. They way his name slipped out of his mouth, rolling over his lips, gosh! I think I’m going to pass out! His eyes were green. No, not just green. It was this beautiful emerald green. Like the most beautiful colour you’ve ever seen. His lips were plump, pink and kissable looking and his crazy hair was pretty long, yet curly. I know I’ve seen him before,  but not from close up and gosh! I wish I could freeze this moment and just look at him. Stare at the beautiful man in front of me.

“Are you going to shake my hand or something, or at least give me a sign of life…?” he asked bluntly. I snapped out of my thoughts and looked a bit dazed at him.

“Uh, uh y-yeah…” I stuttered. _Way to go Niall…_ I shook his hand and he smiled kindly. “Niall." I said. "Niall Horan,” he nodded and smiled brightly.

“Nice name Horan. Now tell me, what would you say if we go around for some coffee? Starbucks?” I wanted to nod, but suddenly remembered… I’ve been thrown out of the Starbucks building…

“Starbucks might be a bad idea…” I answered awkwardly.

He lifted his eyebrow, giving me this adorable confused look. God, can this man be even more perfect?! I know I just met him, but is it possible to already like him? “I’ve been thrown out of the Starbucks  building. That’s why I work here now,” I explained.

He nodded seemed to be thinking for a short period of time. “Okay, let’s go for a walk in the park then?” he suggested and I smiled brightly at that idea. I love the park.

“Yeah sounds nice. Let me just text it quickly to my friend,” I said before pulling out my mobile phone and search for Zayn’s name in my contacts.

**TO: ZAYN :)**

‘ **Hey, sorry will be a bit later at work for you to pick me up. Going for a walk in the park with this dude-but will explain later, kay?**

**Niall Horan.’**

“You know, I can also just drop you off at your house. That’s no problem,” he said, but I basically just ignored it.

_Do not ignore the Sex-On-Legs!_

Are you back? I thought I dropped you in the woods to die?

_Don’t be a dick and give the hunk attention!_

“Nah, it’s fine. Zayn always picks me up, by the way, didn’t your mother teach you that reading other’s messages is wrong?” I basically teased. It wasn’t mean to be rude or anything, just teasing.

He didn’t answer on that and just walked out, me following him after calling a quick: ‘See you later!’ to Nena.

…

“So, tell me. How long do you train? I mean, I’m sorry if I’m being rude, but you don’t look like a very fit guy.” Yeah I know… hearing it from a sexy-ass hunk makes it hurt even more.

“Well, I never really worked out, nor trained someone,” I said truthfully. He stopped in his track and I stopped once I noticed he wasn’t walking next to me anymore. I turned around and gave him an odd stare. “What?”

“So you have no idea what you’re doing?” he asked suddenly.

“Well no, wasn’t the "I've never worked out or trained someone" clear enough for you?” _Keep it down will you?_

He sighed and rolled his eyes before walking again, coming back next to me. “Of course… the ones who don’t even know what working-out means are the ones I always get…” he whispered under his breath. “So, basically I’m training myself, but you’re just standing next to me and look?” he asked. Well, I never thought about that…

“I-I” my mind was fighting, trying to get the right answer to that question, but it never came, so my mouth just stopped forming words that won’t even sound like a proper one.

“I-I? I what, Horan?” he mocked me. Wait, he MOCKED me? Freaking Jesus, mother of god! I was basically stunned by the way he acted. What a dick. And of course I like him. Gosh he’s the most sexy thing on the world. When I didn’t answer again, he muttered quickly: “You’re useless,” before walking again, further into the park. I just simply followed him, but behind him, so I wouldn’t be a bother. “The least you can do I walk next to me, that way I can talk to you properly,” he almost spat. Seriously, what’s his problem? Spoiled brad!

_Niall, you don’t mean that_

No you’re right…

I sighed out loud and walked next to him again. “So, I suggest you talk to Liam or someth-“

“Mr. Cowell had already told me what to do and what not,” I interrupted him. He looked a little angry that I stopped him, but his eyes softened after a second.

“Didn’t your mother teach you that interrupting is wrong?” he played my words from earlier against me. He smirked proudly and chuckled only once. And wow. Isn’t that the most beautiful sound on earth? I feel like I’m addicted to him. He’s like my drug. I barely know him, yet I already know that I’m falling for him. And I’m falling hard. Very hard…

…

“Yeah okay, sure. Talk to Liam, like seriously. I don’t want you to be a useless fuck around  me, kay?” I nodded and waved at him shortly –which he returned with an eye-roll- before walking back to Zayn’s car that was parked in the same spot as usual, Zayn leaning against the side of it. The whole time Harry and I were walking, he kept telling me that because I never worked-out, I’m useless.

“Hey buddy! I saw you just walking with Harry Styles! Lucky lad. I heard that basically every girl finds him extremely attractive. What do you think?”

I looked at him annoyed. “Why do you want to know that? Because I’m gay? Hunny, I already said, it’s not because I’m gay, that I suddenly like every guy on the planet!” I snapped. He looked stunned by the way I was acting and I immediately felt bad for snapping at him. “And yes he’s attractive,” I added a lot less rude. He smiled and nudged me with his elbow.

“Ey! Little Nialler has a crush, doesn’t he?” he cooed.

“Oh don’t you dare using that on me Malik!” he just laughed and got in his car, me following.

“So, tell me, what the hell happened today to make you talk to the one and only: Harry Styles?”

And so I began to explain the whole story. From the dancing and singing –like I usually do- and Nena walking in. To the conversation I just had with Mr. Sex-On-Legs-Styles.

“Wow… that’s a lot, Niall,” he commented as he pulled up at my driveway. I nodded, sighing that finally the hard and long day is over. It seriously was a day where you get exhausted from even if you just listen to it.

“I know. Anyway, see you tomorrow, I guess?”

“Yeah sure, need me, just text me, kay?” I nodded and smiled. Even though Zayn and I aren’t _that_ close of friends yet, he seemed to be pretty comfortable around me and I appreciate that very well. However, my body didn’t seem to function with my brains, since I was leaning in and placed my lips on his cheek. Once I pulled away –which as rather quickly- I looked shocked by my actions. Zayn on the other hand seemed to be pretty okay with it.

“So sorry! I’m used to do that with Louis!” I apologized and explained at the same time. “Oh really, you should be hating me right now. Or worse, should think I might crush on you! Oh fucking Christ mother of Jesus born in hell! I’m so-“

“Gosh, Nialler it’s fine. It seems like we’re getting pretty close friends, and I really like that idea since one of the only real manly friends I have is Louis, and to be honest, very manly isn’t the term for him. I know girls that are more manly than he is,” he said, making me chuckle softly.

“Well still. I’m sorry,”

“Don’t apologize!”

“Sorry,”

“Now what did I say about apologizing? Don’t apologize for no reason."

“Yeah, I’m sorr- oh sorry! Damnit!” Zayn laughed suddenly and just shook his head.

“Get into your damn house Niall, you’re making this only more awkward for yourself. Take a shower though, you smell. Oh and relax! I’m not really the person that says this to guys: but don’t worry about Styles. The gossip goes that he might be attracted to guys, so you’re having a chance!” I face-palmed myself mentally before opening the door and closing it, waving shortly to Zayn as he was pulling off of the driveway and back on the road.

I went inside and immediately got attacked by something that was pretty heavy and that seriously knocked me down. After taking a moment to realize everything, I saw a mop of brown hair and two deep blue eyes. “I missed you hun,” he kissed my cheek and chuckled softly at my reaction.

“You’re too cute to push away,” I said. “Hmm wait, no. GET OFF OF ME! You dirty bastard!” he laughed at that and got off of me before helping me up. “So, how was a day without me, my beloved Louis?”

“One, you look extremely happy, what the hell happened? And two, it was horrible! First your mother made me clean up the kitchen and after she said she was going to work and that your neighbor’s little daughter was coming over since she needed a babysit, so guess what I did the whole day?” I laughed and shook my head, pulling off my shoes and the jacket I was wearing.

“Let me think… Try and murder the poor little girl?”

“Exactly!” he cheered.

“LOU! MY BARBIE DOLL FELL!” I heard a loud, very high girly voice yell. Louis groaned and let his head fell backwards, shoulders hanging a little as he stomped off to where the noise came from, being it the living room. “Lou! Lou! Look! Ken looks like you! You look like my Ken!” I laughed softly at the adorableness of the girl. My mom did mention once that our neighbors had a little 4 year old girl, but I never saw her.

“Well that’s great. Now I can play in one of those Barbie movies you told me to watch with you,” Louis fake smiled. The little blonde girl nodded eagerly and smiled at Louis, bouncing up and down till she noticed me. oh dear god!

“Hi!” she almost yelled, looking rather cute and enthusiastic than annoying like Louis made her look like.

“Hey there,” I said a little lower than her. She smiled cutely again and tried to get off of the couch. Louis probably had put her on it so she won’t get off of it and sit still. Lou noticed she was going to fall off of the couch and quickly picked her up.

“Lewis! I want to go to him!” she pointed with her index finger to me, pouting adorably.

“But I have a hold on you, so I think you’re going to be stick with me for a little longer. Also, for the 18th time, and yes I did count, it’s Louis. L. O. U. I. S. Louis,” she giggled at his sassiness and stroke with her tiny hand over his cheek.

“Lewis,” she giggled. She’s adorable what the freaking hell! Louis just sighed and groaned, probably giving up on teaching the girl the pronouncing of his name. I do get why she’s a little bit confused at first, since Lewis is actually a pretty popular name and also the name of her father, but now she’s just fooling around with Louis and he doesn’t even seem to notice it. Her cute deep blue eyes looked into mine and she cocked her head to the side softly. Her index finger circling at the corner of her open mouth. “Hi!” she said again.

“Hey,”

“Who is you?”

“No bullshit you little monster! You can form a correct sentence. Ask again,” Wow, Louis seriously would be an annoying, but great teacher.

“Sowwy. Who are you?” she sounded like she was even unsure about her question, but giggled once Louis kissed her in her neck.

“Better,” he said and she giggled again.

“I’m Niall. You’re actual neighbor. And who are you, pretty girl?” her cheeks began to blush and she hid her face in the crook of Louis’ neck.

“Ariel,” she said as she looked at me from the corner of her eyes, her face still hidden in Louis’ neck.

“Awh, well Ariel, I think you have the prettiest name I’ve ever heard,” I said sweetly and smiled at her. And again, a cute little giggle left her mouth. This is the reason why I want a baby girl. Unfortunately, I won’t ever be able to get a kid of my own if I stay with being gay.

Louis just smiled down at the little thing in his arms and found it the perfect moment to comment something about her weight. He and girls, will never get along… “Are you staying there? Getting comfy?” she nodded, looking mischievously up at Louis, trying to get eye contact. “Well, you’re heavy, so don’t make yourself too comfortable!” she just giggles again and  cuddled closer to his body. She looked back up challenging and placed a little kiss on his chest, eyes still locked. Louis laughed and shook his head. “Gosh you’re annoying,” he said, making her giggle all over again.

“She’s adorable. You’re just a very bad father,” I said as I stripped out of my way too warm sweater, making my t-shirt going up a little with my sweater. Louis playfully covered the 4-year-old girl’s eyes and she immediately removed it away so she could take a better look. She sure as hell will be a heart-beak girl when she’s older.

“You, young lady, are not allowed to watch boy’s upper body. Got it, little-miss-annoying?” she giggled ALL OVER AGAIN and hid her face again for a second.

“You already nicknamed the poor thing? Gosh Lou, you’re horrible,” I said as I walked into the kitchen, Louis following me with the little blonde girl still in his arms.

“Yeah of course. She already called me Lou from the first second she got her. I needed a nickname for the annoying fuc-“

“Louis!” I almost yelled, making both him and Ariel jump a little in surprise. “You do not curse in front of her! Cursing is bad,” he seriously is the worst father on earth. I’m already scared for the kid he’s going to raise. Their first words will probably be curse words. Knowing him…

“I’m sorry,” he said, placing the little girl on her legs again. She immediately ran off to me and made her hand doing a cute little grabbing motion, signing me that she wants to be picked up again. “Oh, so I’m not enough for you? You little monster!” Louis fake gasped and pretended to be hurt.

“Sowwy, Lewis,” she apologized cutely.

“It’s LOUIS! God! I give up on you!” he said, totally losing it there. She didn’t seem to be scared the slightest bit. She just laughed and was probably amused that she reached his highest point. “You,” he pointed at her, “are the most devilish thing ever,” I rolled my eyes and placed a kiss on the girl’s head.

“So, Lou, you know when her parents will be here again?” I asked.

He shook his head. “They will be here at least at 7,”

“7?! Wow… Well I have to go for a little while thou-“

“What?! NO! Don’t leave me with little-miss-evil!”

“New name?”

“And it suits her perfectly! She’s a devil! Satan itself! Always looking cutely with her little Barbie dolls. Yeah right, she’s just planning on murdering me. Niall I swear!” I rolled my eyes and felt the little Ariel squirm in my arms, making a grabbing motion to Louis again. I just handed her over and she seemed to love to cuddle up to Louis.

“She’s so sweet, Lou. How could you not like her?”

“She scares me Niall!”

“Just cuddle with her and watch some Barbie movies. And don’t you dare to put a horror movie on! The girl will get trauma’s and you’ll be responsible for that,” he gave me a look that said that he wasn’t going to do it and smiled down a little at that cute little thing in his arms.

“Okay, well I’m going out for a very short time. Be right back. Please, Louis don’t murder the kid. She loves you, and I know you like her, too. Don’t you dare to deny it!” he rolled his eyes but nodded and walked with her back into the living room.

With a last wave and a little kiss on both Louis’ and Ariel’s cheeks, I walked out of the door again and went to the address Nena sent me when I was still walking with Harry Styles in the park. 

_Off you go Niall…_


	12. Twelve

I rang the bell once I was standing in front of Mr. Payne’s front door. It didn’t take long for him to open the door, looking slightly confuse and shocked to see me there. “Oh, hi uh… Oh yeah true! Nena called, telling me you were the lucky lad to take over my job for some time. Yeah totally true sorry! C’min! C’min!” he said. I smiled and walked inside, curiously looking around the house that was looking rather beautiful and big. Liam sure lived the life. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I didn’t really clean the house or anything, since I didn’t expect anyone to come over. Even though I really expected Harry to be here like, 5 seconds after he heard that I wasn’t coming for a period of time,” he said and placed his hand on my back, walking me through a door that leaded to a place that I think is the living room. “Wait here, I mean take a seat and I’ll be right back. Want something to drink?” he asked me. I just shook my head and smiled.

“So, you don’t know anything about training someone, right?” he asked from what seems to be a kitchen. this place was pretty big. Not huge, but it was at least bigger than ours.

“No, not really. I mean, I have no idea what to do, so well Mr. Cowell suggested to talk to you,” I explained something he probably already knew.

“Ah, yes. Simon. Of course he told you to talk to me. Well, it’s okay. You’re lucking you got only Styles. Everyone has another scheme and it would be very confusing at first and since you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into, I’m actually glad you only have one. Anyway, let’s start with the basic information, kay?” he said as he came back into the living room with two hot tea’s. He sure didn’t listen to me when I said I didn’t need anything, but I was glad he brought me it, since it was hot and it was tasting heavinly.

…

“So, you know it. Try to remember to stop after an hour. Give him some time to relax. I know Harry, he will probably force himself and try and to get you to let him do some more exercises and that’s bad for him, so please do not fall for his clever comebacks. He needs to train like the scheme says and if he doesn’t listen, well then make him.” I nodded and smiled before waving to Liam as I walked out of the door. “Oh and Niall?” I turned around again and looked at him. “You can always stop by and talk if you need me. Even call me, you have my number, right?” I nodded and smiled as he did the same. “Okay, well bye then!”

“Bye,” I said before getting into my crappy car and driving off to home again.

…

“No! Not my phone! Please, I beg you! Give it back!” I heard yelling from the living room. I slipped out of my jacket and shoes and ran into the living room, looking at was going on. “No, you little piece of-! I seriously dislike you!” Louis said to a giggling Ariel who was just deleting all the pictures of him and actually everyone except mine. She sure is something. Louis looked up at me and gave me a pleading look. I don’t know how she managed to get Louis stuck under the couch, but he unfortunately was stuck and that’s when Ariel probably took her chance and got his phone. “Please, help me! This evil witch is deleting all my pictures!” he whined. I just chuckled and kneeled down by the little girl who was smiling and giving Louis challenging looks.

“Hey, Ariel. You’re looking even more beautiful now,” I smiled at the little 4-year-old. I mean, she’s only 4, yet she’s smarter than Louis… She giggled and blushed slightly. Seems like someone has a little crush on me… “So, can I please get Louis phone?” I asked softly, she looked down at it, but shook her head. Hmm… she’s harder than I thought. “Okay, what if I told you I will watch Barbie with you tomorrow evening when I come back home from work and you give me the phone?” She looked like she was thinking rather hard, but still shook her head. “Hmm okay, and if I told you… No wait, what do you want?” she smiled and blushed again, looking with her cute little blue eyes down at her hands as she spoke.

“Kiss,” she said cutely. Well, for someone who’s only 4, she’s rather smart.

“Oh you cheesy girl. I get the phone and you get a kiss, kay?” she nodded and smiled brightly. I pecked her cheek softly and she giggled like mad before letting the phone fall into my lap. I picked it up and did the same with her, holding her at my side.

“Hey Lou,” I teasingly sang, “you’ve just lost a battle by a 4-year-old. How does that feel?”

He groaned and let his head fall to the ground. “Shut up and get this couch off of me!” he demanded. I just laughed and put Ariel down, who was pouting because I did so. I walked to the couch and lifted it up for him so he could get from under it and stand back up. He glared at Ariel who stuck her tongue out, making an adorable face. “I so hate her,” he said and crossed his arms over his chest.

“You, are mentally younger than Ariel. And that’s actually not a compliment, before you thank me,” he rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out, just like Ariel just did. I didn’t even notice she was pulling at my leg, till I felt a soft slap on my leg. I looked down, seeing Ariel with grabby hands motioning to me to pick her up again. “Yeah, little girl, I think you’re mommy is back in a few minutes, so maybe we should get you ready, so you can go home and to bed. You’re back tomorrow with Lou-“

“OH HELL NO! I’M MOVING TO ALASKA! As long as I’m away from _THAT_!” he yelled. Ariel covered her ears from the loud yelling and pouted, looking like she was about to cry.

“Lou! Don’t yell! You’re going to make her cry!”

“Oh please, she’s just acting!” he huffed.

I glared at him and picked Ariel back up, her hiding her face in the crook of my neck. “Let’s pack your stuff, yeah? We can cuddle after for a bit till mommy and daddy are here okay?” she nodded, still hiding her face and yawned a little. She’s exhausted from playing with Louis and basically irritating the shit out of him. Anyway, he did a great job at keeping her busy and mostly at making her tired. That’s at least the goal of this whole babysitting-thing. Getting the ‘baby’ tired.

As I walked into the kitchen to get her tiny bag, I wanted to put her down, but she seemed like she was sleeping in my arms. Like she could get any more adorable! Louis came into the kitchen too and looked in awe at the little blonde in my arms, sleeping peacefully. “Is she sleeping?” he mouthed to me. I nodded and tried to get the bag. Louis took it from me and went into the living room, me following behind with Ariel in my arms.

“Shouldn’t we lay her in bed or something?” Louis whispered. I shook my head and sat down on the couch, Ariel still sleeping in my arms.

“Her parents should be here any minute. And if I lay her in bed, she probably wake up and be all whiny since little girls hate it when you wake them,” I explained. He nodded and sighed, taking place next to me, pretty close if you ask me.

“Okay, this might sound weird, but I think…. that she has a crush on you,” he suddenly said out of the blue. I laughed softly, trying not to make too much noise and rolled my eyes at his stupid remark. He looked at me, surprised that I laughed about that. “What?” he asked, his voice low, but above a whisper now.

“I already figured that out,” I laughed quietly. Louis looked pretty stunned at first, but smiled after.

“That’s so cute, knowing her first crush is you,” he commented. After he did and realized what he said, his head snapped up and he looked shocked. “No, no I didn-“

“Oh yes you did!” he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest when suddenly the bell rang. He smiled and stood up, running to the door and I followed with Ariel and her bag in my arms.

“Ah, Louis, wasn’t it? Great to see you again. How are you? Was Ariel a good girl? I bet she was, she always is! Such a sweetheart, oh where is s- Ariel! Oh my baby. You played with her, didn’t you. Yeah she always falls asleep after having fun. I bet she’s exhausted. Thank you two boys so much! Here, I have… 20… 30… here, 100£ enjoy yourself boys,” Louis eyes widened at the 100£ in his hands as I handed Ariel over, but her mother didn’t take her yet.

“She’s such a lovely girl,” I said to her. Not that I was finished, but she cut me off already.

“I know she is. Oh I love my little mermaid. She’s such a lovely girl. Oh she totally looks like me. I was such a beautiful girl, no wait, I actually still am a beautiful woman, but back when I was very young, I was stunning, wasn’t I John?” the man took a hold of her hips and smiled.

“Of course you were baby. You are as pretty as ever,” he said.

She just nodded and talked again. She kept on talking till Ariel started to squirm in my arms and scratching at my neck.  “Oh, I think we have to go, I’m sorry for staying so long. Have a nice night boys and tell Maura that she’s always welcome to have a chat. Oh and that next week is great to go to the SPA. It’s on me, I’m celebrating the success of my company,” she said. I’m sure my mom will go, but she will definitely be awkward there.

I handed Ariel over, again and this time she gladly took her in her arms and smiled up at me. “Oh well I sure will tell her and have a lovely night yourself, Mrs. Blue,”

“Now, thank you. We sure will, now see you tomorrow I guess?”

“Yeah I guess so.”

She nodded and smiled before walking away with Ariel in her arms.

When everyone was away, except Louis of course, we both let us fall onto the couch and sighed. “I’m exhausted!” he whined.

“Me too,”

“You didn’t even stay all the time with the monster!”

“You didn’t do anything except watching Barbie and playing with a 4-year-old. I freaking worked, cleaned, got promotion and am now working as a trainer for the one and only Mr. Harry Styles, shut the fuck up or I throw you out!” I said. He just rolled his eyes and nodded.

“Can I sleep here tonight? Not feeling like driving all the way back,”

“Sure, if you want I can drive you. Not that I don’t want you to stay over or something, but if you want to go home, I can take you,”

“And how are you getting back then sheriff Mc. Smartass?”

“I take yo- good point, I’m going to bed, you sleeping with me?”

“Sure, give me something to wear to bed,”

“Sleep in your underwear,”

“Ew gross.”

“Pussy,”

“Dick,”

“Girl,”

“Shit,” he groaned, knowing I won.

“Let’s go!”

We both walked up the stairs and into my room. After changing into something easier, we both fell on my bed and got under the comforter before falling asleep with two in my bed.

_Luckily I got my mom’s old bed…_


	13. Thirteen

I woke up with feeling a pressure on my chest. The scent of faded cologne filled my nose and I knew what that weight on me was. Louis… “Lou, get your ass off of me!” I whined with a yawn, closing my mouth immediately since I have an amazing strong morning breath today… Ugh… I hate being in ‘ _those years’_ where you’re breath smells like a birth died in there. Louis just snuggled closer to me and gripped  the t-shirt -where I slept in- in his tiny hands as he was fisting it. “Please Lou. I have to go, I was meeting up with Harry today. Please,”

“No, I’m comfy,”

“I’m not, you heavy pig,” I groaned closed my eyes again. I still had an hour to get ready, staying in bed a few more seconds wouldn’t harm, now would it?

Deciding to get some more sleep for a few seconds, wasn’t probably my best idea. I started to dream… actually _to imagine…_

_«_ ٭٭ _»_

_Green eyes were looking in mine deeply. “Harry,” I whispered-moaned as he kissed up my chest to my jaw-line and to my lips. Staying there a bit longer. “Harry, please,” I already begged. Begging for release._

_His lips left mine and a smirk appeared, replacing the earlier innocent smile he had. “Oh, Niall. You’re so impatient. Enjoy this,” his raspy voice said, making me grow down there. He looked down and smirked even harder. “Exited down there, Horan?”_

_«_ ٭٭ _»_

I shot up, clearly awake now. Looking down, I saw Louis still asleep on my chest. I sighed and looked at the clock. Dear Lord, thanks for saving me. Only 10 minutes passed. I’m happy for that. I sighed deeply and felt Louis moving a little bit, accidentally touching my- oh fuck!

Pushing Louis softly off of me, I basically rushed to my bathroom after I took my clothes with me. I closed the bathroom door and let the shower run, pre-heating it. Stripping down of my clothes, I groaned as my _lower part_ jumped up and the cold air hit it. Fuck I hate being a guy!

Quickly getting into the shower, my back pressing to the wall and getting off rather quickly. When I came, I sighed contently and started with washing my body and hair.

…

“You’re such a girl, really. Ni, you’ve been in the bathroom for nearly half an hour. Did you lost the way in there or what?” Louis teased as I opened the door and started on blowing my hair dry. He chuckled as I threw my hairbrush at him, missing him just by an inch or so. “Fail! F. A. I. L. Fa-“ and that was successful. “Fuck that hurts!” he yelped out in pain and gripped his lower part in his hand. That’s probably where I hit him with my little pocket-mirror.

“Well, that’s what you get for challenging me, Tomlinson!” he just groaned and let himself fall over onto his pillow.

“Well, it was worth getting pain for,” he said and got up, going to pick some clothe he might borrow this day. “Hey is it okay if I borrow your white shirt and jeans?”

“Sure,”

“And under-“

“No…” I said slowly, giving him the ‘disgust’ look. “You’re so nasty, Lou. You already borrow my clothes, not my boxers. That’s just… ew,” he rolled his eyes, suddenly becoming me form yesterday night. It feels like we just changed bodies and now we are basically just the other person. I mean, yesterday he was the one that said ‘gross’ to the fact of sleeping in your boxers. And I rolled my eyes. Today he’s rolling his eyes at my ‘gross’.

“Oh well, so what are you going to do on a Saturday? Specially so early in the morning,”

“Lou… it’s half past 9 am. That’s not early,”

“It is for you,”

“Shut up and help me with my shoes! I know you were the one that tied them together last night and I can’t seem to untie them, so freaking help me!” he just laughed and nodded, bending over so he could get at my level –which was basically just sitting on the ground now, shoes in my lap- and started to help me untie my shoes. After he managed to separate my shoes, we both got ready and went downstairs. I only had like what? 20 minutes to figure out where he lives and get there in time.

I quickly texted Harry, having his phone number since he gave it to me -even if he didn’t want to- and waited till he answered, which happened to be not even 10 seconds after I sent mine.

FROM: MR. STYLES

‘Just meet me in front of the gym. I’ll be there and pick you up, yeah? Try and get someone to bring you there or whatever. I’ll drop you off at yours later and we don’t want your car to stand at the gym parking lot, now do we?’ he answered.

He’s so different from yesterday. So… Less hatred and even… teasing, which he wasn’t at all since he figured out I’m no real trainer.

Quickly responding, I texted Zayn too. I could ask Louis, but I don’t trust him with cars. He already crashed with two of his own and even his dad’s, so no. I do not prefer to be in a car with the driver being Louis Tomlinson.

TO: ZAYN :)

‘Hey, can you pick me up and drop me off at the gym? I know it’s probably a lot to ask since you always bring me and such, but I just need a lift. Xx

-Niall Horan.’ I texted.

Zayn answered rather quickly after, just not as fast as Harry did though.

FROM: ZAYN :)

‘Hey babe. Sure B there in 5. Xo’

TO: ZAYN :)

‘Thank you so much! Xx

-Niall Horan.’

I waited the rest of the time with Louis being an ass and asking me to make him breakfast. I ended up baking –rather fast- a simple egg and gave it to Louis. Just when I gave it to him, the bell rang, signing that Zayn was there to pick me up. I smiled at the thought of him actually being such a great and pretty close friend. Ever since he knows that I’m gay, he’s so chill with me. Sure he has his awkward moments or the moments where he flirts with me unknowingly, but I mean, that’s okay right? Me and Louis do just the same. And Louis often even kisses girls as friends. That’s what friends do, right? I mean, Louis and I never kissed or anything. I never kissed…. But we did gave each other blowjobs and such. Nothing’s wrong with that, right?

“Remember, Ariel is coming over again, just only at 5.30. She’ll stay the night this time, and hopefully I’ll be back before she’s here, but you know you have to stay here if she’s here right?”

“Yeah I wasn’t even planning on going out this house anyway. At least not till midnight,” he chuckled. I smiled and nodded.

“Don’t eat the whole fridge will you? What you eat, you’ll replace with your own money, kay? I love you, but I do work for those things to be in the fridge, so please, do not eat everything, if you did, please get it from the store at the end of the street and replace it. yeah?”

“Sure, bye Ni,”

“Bye, love you!”

“Love yah too bro,”

I quickly walked to the door and opened it with a smile that faded once I opened it. I surely wasn’t expecting to see him here.

“Hi,”

_Oh god…_

 


	14. Fourteen

“H-Hi. U-uh. What are you doing here?” I asked Harry once I noticed staring is very rude. Blood rushed to my cheeks, making my toes almost tingle from the lack of blood. Well, almost.

Harry didn’t seem to be very font of my blushing and stuttering and sighed deeply before leaning against the doorframe softly. “I’m here since unfortunately, I know Nena and she told me where you lived. I was at the parking lot for what? 10 minutes? You didn’t show up at all. And before you ask, no I don’t like to wait,” he said rather annoyed.

“O-oh. I’m so sorry! I texted Zayn he had to be here a few minutes ago,” I tried to explain. Just when my sentence was finished, I felt my phone vibrate, signing me that I have a message. I quickly opened the message and read it.

FROM: ZAYN :)

‘Hey babe. I’m really sorry, but I can’t make it. Need some things to do first, is it okay if I am like what? 30 minutes late? Xo’

I quickly respond and sighed. And he couldn’t sent that earlier?

TO: ZAYN :)

‘No, never mind. 30 minutes is way too long, already have someone else to bring me. Thanks anyway. Xx

-Niall Horan.’

FROM: ZAYN :)

‘Okay, babe Xo’

I looked back up from my phone to Harry and forced myself to smile at him. He didn’t return it, just nodded quickly and stood back up. “Ready? We’re going to mine. You did talk to Liam, right?” I just nodded, not wanting to stutter all over again. “Great. Did he told you anything about limits or something?” again I nodded and I saw him getting frustrate. “Ugh, well just know that I really know my own limits. I will say when I need a little time to rest, kay?”

My thoughts kept telling me not to give in. Not to say yes as a submissive person, but to say that he’s not going to get me to let him ‘overdo’ it. It’s very bad to work-out too much. Everyone needs a break, and he won’t tell me when he needs it. I will tell him when he needs it. And that’s literally what I’m going to say now.

He looked in my eyes pretty dominant and gosh, I felt myself getting smaller and smaller every second. “U-Uh... Y-yeah s-sure,” okay well that didn’t go the way I imagined it to go… He smiled and nodded before walking off to his car, me following him. “H-Harry,” I started again, trying to actually tell him what Liam told me to say. He turned around and nodded, blank expression on his face. “I-I uhm… I..”

“You…?” gosh he’s so annoying! I can’t even try and make a sentence or he’s already mocking me.

“You have to l-listen to me about the breaks during your training,” I rushed out, balling my hands, making fists of them as I did. He looked at me. To say he was shocked, would be an understatement.

“What… did you just say?” And I’m scared again… He laughed a fake laugh, like in those freaking creepy horror movies where the murder laughs because the victim is just so innocent and always thinks they will survive, which they never do. “Oh, no no nono no.” he said in an unwilling-to-believe-me voice. He took a step closer to me and I froze in my spot. When his face was only an inch or so away from mine, and I could feel his breath on my lips, he opened his mouth and spoke: “You,” he poked my chest rather harshly, “will listen to me. You’re nothing but a worthless piece of human that is too weak to come up for himself. So you will listen to me and if I say I can do three hours none-stop then I will. And you, certainly you, won’t stop me.” he said in a threatening voice. I seriously had goose bumps all over my body and I could feel chills running up my spine each time I looked into those icy eyes. His eyes darkened every second more and more, which caused me to feel even more uncomfortable.

Once he backed away, I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding and looked down. He just huffed and chuckled, feeling rather proud that he could scare me and make me as uncomfortable as that. “Now get your ass in my car before I even don’t want you to be near me,” he said with his deep raspy voice again and fuck, there were those feelings again. Not real feelings, but… I do feel _something_ when I hear his voice or when I see his perfect shaped lips move.

…

“So, I suggest you already get out of the car and meet me inside the gates. If I drive my car the whole way in, you won’t be able to get out from your side, so get out and I’ll let you in right after I parked my car,” he said. I nodded and got out, standing in front of a big white gate that looked like there was a huge palace behind it. And I must say, I’m not far from the truth by saying that.

I sat myself at the ground as it took Harry like, 5 minutes to even park a car. I mean, is he lost in his own house or something?

After another 10 minutes, I started to sniff sometimes and shiver since the cold wind blew very hard. The autumn weather isn’t the best to stay in with just only just a thin jacket on.

I waited another 5 minutes, till I thought about my phone. Why didn’t I think about that earlier?! Sweet Fucking Jesus Mother Of Jamaica! I am freaking dumb! With shaky hands, I searched through my contacts till I found Harry’s number and quickly pressed _‘call’_.

“Hello?” his voice sounded like heaven, but fuck he left me in the cold weather for 20 minutes!

“H-Harry. I-I think you f-forgot s-something,” I stuttered out, not from embarrassment, but from the cold.

“Oh, shit! Niall!” I heard some shifting from the other side of the line and waited patiently for something to happen.

Not a minute later, the gates opened again and Harry rushed to me, helping me up and placing his coat around my shoulder. “I’m seriously so terribly sorry! I totally forgot about you. My dad called me, telling me that he will come and visit me tomorrow and I got so into that that I totally forgot you! Gosh you’re freezing,” he rambled slowly. I noticed always when he speaks, he says every word very carefully and slow. I like it.

“I-It’s o-okay,” I stuttered softly. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and let his hand go up and down my arm to get some warmth in it.

“Of course it’s not okay. It’s the coldest day of the whole season. I’m so sorry for letting you stay there. C’mon, let’s go inside and warm you up, no training today,” he said softly and walked me to his door, opening it for me so I could get inside first.

We both got inside and I let my eyes explore as much as I could. This house was twice as big as Liam’s. Which means it was four times as big as mine. Everywhere where I looked were white walls, and pictures and expensive looking things. Is Harry a prince or something?

_‘Prince Harry Styles, future king of England!’_ I already see the title in my head.

Harry took the coat from my shoulders and I could feel myself getting even colder, but luckily after he took my jacket, too, he replaced them by a soft and warm blanket and pressed me into his chest before walking me to the, what I think is supposed to be the living room… or at least something with a big flat-screen TV. He sat us both down and basically let me cuddle to his chest to warm up some more. “I am seriously sorry, Niall. I really shouldn’t have forgotten you! I’m so sorry for that. You could get a cold outside,” he pouted softly and looked down at me as I did the same, but looking at him instead, and I looked up…

“It’s okay. People forget about me rather quickly,” I sighed. Why do I even tell him that?

“Why?” he asked bluntly. I didn’t know how to react at that, so I just stayed quiet. He seemed to notice me being uncomfortable with that question, so he just shook it off and stood up, slightly pushing me off of him. “I’m making you some tea, yeah?” I couldn’t even say no, since he was already walking to another room and I guess he’s fetching me some tea…

After a few minutes he returned with two mugs and sat back down next to me. “Here you go,” he said as he handed me mine. “I don’t know if you like sugar in it and milk, so I have some sugar there if you need it,” I nodded and smiled, cuddling deeper into my blanket-ball. I felt like a butterfly. But then before the transformation…

I felt eyes burning through my skin and as I looked up I caught Harry’s intense gaze. My cheeks reddened a little bit and I cocked my head a little bit. “What?” I mumbled from behind the mug.

He just held up his shoulders and smiled cutely. “You look cozy wrapped in those blankets,” he commented. I nodded and smiled softly. “And cute. Like a little puppy,” that made me blush like mad and I tried to hide my face, but I failed anyway. He just chuckled and looked at his big flat-screen TV. “Wanna watch something?” I nodded and smiled shortly. He did the exact same and turned on the TV. I must admit, for me is this like, like magic. It’s so big and wow. We only have one TV in the living room and it’s just a small one. So this is basically THE epic of the epic. “Okay, what do you prefer to see?” he asked. I thought for a moment but came to realize that I seriously don’t care.

“I, I don’t care, really,” I answered honestly. He nodded and just put on something, it being ‘Love Actually’.

During the movie, I got extremely tired. I didn’t even  notice that I basically was already lying, feet in Harry’s lap and still wrapped up in the blankets. Harry must not have notice it either since he was just watching the movie, which I assume is his favourite.

I have honestly no idea when, but I fell asleep during the last part of the movie, and I didn’t even notice Harry getting off of the couch and in front of me, till I felt his breath on my lips and a hand lightly shaking my shoulder. My eyes opened slowly, trying to get used to the light again and I smiled smugly. “Well, I wouldn’t say the movie is the best of all, but how can you possibly fall asleep during it?” he chuckled. I wanted to roll my eyes, but my body didn’t really function the way I wanted it to, so I just looked, no stared at him. “Maybe I should bring you back home, yeah?” I nodded, still not really being awake and slowly stood up, almost tripping over the blanket and falling. Cheesy to say, but luckily Harry was there who held my shoulders in his large hands, helping me to keep my balance. “You okay?” he asked carrying. I nodded and got out of all the blankets.

“Yeah I’m okay. Just not awake I guess,” I smiled mischievously and looked down a bit. He just chuckled and nodded.

“Kay, let’s get you home so you can sleep a bit longer. Tomorrow we really start the training, kay? I already missed two days, I don’t want to miss any more. Even though this time it was in fact my own fault. I’m really so-“

“I know. You’re sorry, and it’s okay. Like I said. Now get me home you,” I smiled. Starting to be the real me around him, feels… more comfortable for me, but I noticed Harry wasn’t pleased with the real me…

“Uhm, yeah. Let’s go then,” he said.

We both got inside his car and he drove me back to my house.

Once he stopped in front of my house, he turned to me with an expression that already predicted it all, but what cleared everything was when he opened his mouth and said: “Oh, and now don’t think we’re friends. not even close to it. I just felt bad for probably causing you a cold. Nothing big anyway so don’t expect me to suddenly be friends with you, since, my kind and your kind just don’t match,” and then it hit me. Hit me hard. And it hurt. Like a bullet through your brain.

I lowered my head even more and nodded softly, feeling really let down now. “It’s okay. I understand. My kind of people don’t like to be friends with wealthy pigs like you anyway. Have a nice night Harry,” I snapped back before opening the door and slamming it shut. Yes. That hurt. A lot, but I won’t cry over this. he’ll have to deal with me, whether he likes it or not.

I walked inside and closed the door quietly before walking up the stairs and into my room. It was only 3 and like I figured out, Louis’ out and he won’t be back before 5, for Ariel.

Once I laid myself on my bed, I felt my heart break in a lot of pieces.

_Am I that different?_


	15. Fifteen

For half an hour I was just crying and looking at myself in the mirror. Sure I get that I’m not really rich. And no I’m not well build, but… Am I that different? Am I different in the… wrong way? Am I just wrong in general? I don’t know it anymore. I only know that it really hurt to hear that you won’t ever be even friends with the one you’re starting to fall for like a brick. I mean, I have respect for Harry. He’s a good looking guy, but not because you have a dick means that you have to act like one.

“Nialler! I know you’re in your room! Open the door! C’mon! Please! You’re in there for like what? 15 minutes? Maybe even more but I just got here… Please open the door Niall! Or do I have to call Zayn!” I heard Louis voice. Even though I was standing in front of my mirror, looking at myself in disgust, I still cared about Louis and I could feel that if I wouldn’t let him in, he would probably just kick the door open, so I decided to unlock it and open it. Once I saw Louis figure, I couldn’t hold it in. It just had to go. So I let my tears flow like a waterfall and wrapped my arms around Louis’ waist as I hugged him, needing someone to at least care for me.

_‘This is the hardest story,_

_That I’ve ever told,_

_No hope, no love, or glory,_

_Happy-endings gone forever more,_

_I feel as if I’m wasting,_

_And I’m wasting everyday’_

That song was playing in my head. I love MIKA. He was a great singer, but right now, his songs just hurts. It’s not the rhythm or anything. Just the story behind it. The lyrics are so true and that’s why it hurts.

“Oh Nialler, what’s wrong? What happened? Did someone did this to you? Oh I’m gonna fucking ruin its face!” Louis said, making me smile weakly in hi -mine-  t-shirt. He pulled back a little bit, holding my shoulders in arm-length so he would be able to take a closer look. “See you can already smile a little bit. Now tell me. What’s up? What happened? Am I allowed to kill that motherfucker? Or is that illegal?”

I chuckled and dried my tears. “It’s illegal Lou. You know that. And no, I wouldn’t ever let you kill him,” I said, before realizing I just admitted who I’m crying about.

“It’s that kid you were going to, right?” Louis balled his fists and to be very honest, I got scared. “I’m gonna hit him straight in the face! No, wait! I’m going to run him over with my car! No wai-“

“LOUIS!” I yelled. “No you fucking aren’t. Freaking sit down, god! I’m okay. I think I just thought everything was going faster than it actually was. It’s okay, you know. I’m not hurt. I wasn’t even crying before I saw you, so I could say it is actually your fault,” I ended my sort-of-mini-speech and sat down on my bed, patting the spot next to me for him to it on.

“Now, no one cries when they see me, so that’s bullshit!” I rolled my eyes and tried to laugh a bit, till I heard something falling down stairs. I looked at Louis with a surprised look and he just groaned and face-palmed himself. “Shit!” he cursed before running out of my room, me following.

He ran downstairs, and gasped as he saw what felt. Once I saw it too, I was more mad at him than at anyone on earth. “You left her alone?! Why didn’t you freaking tell me she was already here?!” I basically yelled, feeling bad as little Ariel winced at my voice. I quickly bend down and picked her up bridle-style. Her knee was bleeding an she had a little scratch on her forehead. Also a blue/purple-ish spot was forming on her leg. “Oh, Ariel, are you alright? What were you trying to do?” I asked her, completely ignoring Louis who tried to help.

“Wanted to see you, but could not find you.” She explained a little.

“Oh, baby doll. I’m here now. Did naughty Louis left you all alone down stairs? Yeah? Does he need a punishment?” she nodded against my chest and looked with big, sad, blue eyes into mine. “Okay, well Louis will clean up everything and cook us some waffles, sounds great, yeah?” she nodded and giggled softly. Once I put her down and got some first-aid kit, I started to clean up the wounds.

Louis was doing whatever shit he wanted to, and every time he spoke, I ignored him completely. I’m sorry, he’s my best friend and will stay that for the rest of my life, but you don’t just leave a 4 year old down stairs, unnoticed. Of course there happens something bad! That always happens! Why wouldn’t it happen now then? ugh! “Niall! Talk to me!” Louis whined. “Please, I told you I’m sorry. Like how would I know she would fall down from the couch?”

“Maybe because she’s only 4 and the couch is too high for her to get on or off?” I snapped back once I was done and picked little Ariel back up to get her to the couch with me.

“But you know I’m terrible with kids!” that’s a fact, but still..

“That doesn’t mean that you can just leave her alone!”

“Is Niall mad at me?” Ariel asked directly to me. She’s so cute, oh god. That little pout.

I smiled down at her and pecked her cheek softly which made her giggle again as I sat down. “No of course not, beautiful. I’m not mad at anyone. Just a little bit at Louis since he had to look after you and he just left you here all alone.” She nodded and cuddled closer to me. “Are you okay? still having pain?” I asked her. She shook her head ‘no’ and smiled up at me.

“Barbie?” I chuckled and nodded. She sure always gets what she wants…

“Barbie…”

…

“Yeah of course Mrs. Blue. And again, I’m sorry I wasn’t there when Ariel fell. It shouldn’t have happened, but you know she’s young and well all children like to play around. Go on adventur-“

“It’s fine, Niall. Don’t think she never fell before. If she wouldn’t be as reckless, we wouldn’t have to go to the doctor that much. It’s alright. You can’t do 50 things all at once,” she interrupted me.

“Okay, well anyway, I’d love to babysit another time,”

“I know dear. I’ll call your mother if I need another babysit, yeah?”

Once we said goodbye and all, I walked to the couch and sat down. Louis was already sitting and looked at me. “Are yo-“

“Yes,”

He sighed and groaned. “Fuck Niall! Stop being mad at me! I already told you I’m sorry! Please, talk to me and be my friend who needs me and loves me,” he wasn’t done with his speech, but I wouldn’t let him finish anyway.

“Fine. It’s okay. I still love you, Lou. That’s something I will always do, but at least be more responsible. I know you can do that,” he nodded and looked up at me through his long lashed, almost asking for permission to hug me. I chuckled and nodded, “C’mere little boy.” He cuddled up in my side and rested his head on my chest, like I would love to do with Ha-

_Get him out of your head Niall! He’s not worth your tears!_

We lay like that for a couple of minutes in complete silence. No awkward silence, just… a comfortable one. “Can you tell me what happened before you came back home today? I’m not forcing you or anything, I’m just worried,” Louis spoke up, being the first to break the silence.

“It’s okay, to be very honest, nothing really happened. Well, at first Harry totally forgot about me and left me for 20 minutes outside, till I called him an-“

“The heck?! Dude, that’s horri-“

“Let me finish,” I said. He nodded and looked up at me, sorry in his eyes. “So after that, we watched ‘Love Actually’ since he felt bad for leaving me outside and all. I fell asleep and when he woke me up he was so nice and… carrying and all. Not that he wasn’t after he basically forgot about me, but, when I woke up it felt like… like he loved me. Well that little daydream didn’t last long since after he pulled up the driveway, he told me rudely that we would never be friends and such, and I guess that’s when my bubble snapped and I felt actually a little disappointed,” I explained. He nodded and looked at me to see if I was finished. When I gave him a silence sign that I was, he opened his mouth.

“Oh Nialler he’s not worth your love or time or anything! You’re a prince and he’s… rotten lasagna! Stupid pri-“

“Louis…” I said warningly. He shut up and look up mischievously.

He grinned before sitting back up straight. “I’m sorry, boo. Just no one may hurt my baby,”

“I’m not a baby,”

“No,” he said. I smiled fondly, he for once lis- “You’re my baby,” Nope… he didn’t…

“You’re as annoying as Jesus Christ’s broken toe,” I said, immediately getting a strange looking gaze from Louis. “What? You know everything I say always involves Jesus!” He just laughed and shook his head. I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest. “You’re no fun,” I said childish, which made him laugh a bit more and pout cutely, acting the same like I did, but he was in fact mocking me.

“You’re cute, I don’t see why that Harry guy doesn’t want you to be friends. I mean, he should be on his knees, asking to marry him already! Or something like that though,” I laughed this time and smacked his upper arm.

“Stupid Lou. I don’t marry. I fuck. Hard,” it was silence for a second till we both broke down in fits of uncontrollable laughter.

“I so hate you at particular moments!” he said between his laughter.

“Love you too man!”

…

“Bye, see you tomorrow or whenever I feel like I need to see you again,”

“Don’t you dare to sneak in within a few seconds!” I laughed softly.

“Oh now don’t think you’re that irresistible, since I could resist you for the next… LIFE, so don’t expect to see me ever again!” I rolled my eyes and waved him out as he pulled out off the driveway and onto the road.

...

“NIALL BABY!” I snapped my head up and looked up at the door as I heard my name being called. “OH NIALL I SO MISSED YOU!” it was my mom, to confirm you. She’s been gone for the past… three? Four days? Maybe five? I don’t know, anyway she’s been missing for quite some time, yet I didn’t even notice..

“Ma!” I said, and hugged her.

“Oh baby, I so missed my little gentleman! How did it go? Did you miss me? Oh I really missed you, baby,”

“You did something wrong, didn’t you?” she pulled back from the hug and looked at me confused.

“No… okay well… maybe I… brought someo-“

“No way. Ma!” I whined. She rolled her eyes and took a step away from me. “You told me not to bring anyone in before I at least sa-“

“He’s rich,”

“Let’s get you two married!”

She laughed softly and padded my head. “Oh baby, I’m sorry, but I just thought you wouldn’t like him at all. He has a 3 and a half-year-old baby girl and to be very honest, he’s a bit younger than me,” she explained.

“So… he’s like what? 3?” she rolled her eyes again and smiled.

“You’re too sweet, but no he’s 32,” she said, smiling and blushing a bit.

“He’s only two years younger, Ma don’t act like you’re an old woman! You’re young and beautiful,” I said and she pushed me lightly backwards.

“Okay, okay, now just shut up, he’s coming over tomorrow for dinner and I want you to be here and Louis to be out, got it?”

“What do you have against Louis?”

“I don’t have anything against him, he’s just too much… Louis-like and I prefer to not have him to think I ever made Louis. That would be impossible,” she smiled and chuckled quietly about her own joke.

I fake gasped and put a hand on my heart, pretending to be hurt. “Louis is certainly not impossible to get! Look at what Johanna did! She created him,”

“And you looked too much to animal documentary video’s. Do I have to block some channels, Niall?” she laughed.

“Oh shut up you and get in the kitchen woman! I’m hungry and you’re the woman in house,”

“Oh as if you’re the man in house… little boy, I’m more of a man than you are,”

“That’s a fact. Another reason why I need a man in my life!” she laughed at my pathetic being and went into the kitchen.

“So, tell me, did you already find your perfect man?” she asked me as she was warming something up.

“Do I look like I did?” I asked her, crossing my arms over my chest. She looked at me, eyed me up and down and then smiled.

“Yes you do, now tell me. who’s the lucky lad?”

“More like Hell’s-getting-at-him-lad.” I whispered.

“Aha! I knew you met someone! Tell me! Tell me, tell me, tell me!” she sounded like a total school girl talking to her best friend who just admitted she has a crush on one of those football players…

“It’s nothing Ma. He doesn’t even like me as friends,” I admitted truthfully. She frowned a little and took my hand in hers, dragging me to the couch again. As we sat down, she turned to me and sighed.

“Tell me what he’s like. Like what he did and said to you. What he makes you feel,” she smiled and poked my ribs softly at the end. I almost giggled and rolled my eyes.

“He’s just this handsome, cute, rich guy that has this amazing big house. His eyes are greener than emerald and shine diamonds. And his hair is so sexy. It’s a bit longer, but it sure suits him perfectly. His lips look like these little cushions. So plump and pink and oh Ma, he trains so much! His body doesn’t only look well build, but when he touched me, oh I could feel his abs through his t-shirt and-“ I cut myself off and blushed like mad. Did I really just fangirl like that about the guy that will never like me..?

Mom covered her mouth with her hand and her eyes were open wide in shock and joy as you could see the little twinkle in them. “Oh my Nialler! You’re in love! How could I even miss this?! My little boy has a crush on this amazing guy! I want to meet him!”

“NO!” I quickly yelled. She looked at me surprised, but nodded. “He hates me,”

“Niall no one hates you,”

“But it’s true! He hates me! He said we would never be friends and that his kind doesn’t match with mine,” I said sadly. She frowned again and hugged me quickly.

“It’s okay boo. I’m sure he’s just scared to love you or something,”

“Ma, we basically just met,”

“Still. Everyone loves my perfect creation, being it you. You’re an amazing son and a great boyfriend, I mean at least that’s what I think you are,” she tried to lighten the mood up a bit.

“You’re not helping,”

“Yes I am, I’m your mother. I always help. Anyway, I’m sure he’s just scared to admit he likes you. After all, every guy thinks he’s straight at first,” she said.

“Except Louis,” we both said in unison. The two of us broke down in fist of laugher and I already had tears in my eyes from joy and happiness.

“See, this is when you can see that we’re family,” she said. I rolled my eyes at her and cuddled in my mom’s side.

“Mom?”

“Son?”

“Shut up, I’m trying to be cute,”

“You’re always cute, baby,”

“But no, seriously. I love you, you know? I might dare to say I don’t, but I love you so much. I really really do!” I said as I cuddled even closer to her.

She kissed my hair and I could feel her smile. “I love you more than anything, Niall. And I always will. Forever. And if that dude you like doesn’t like you back, he’s an asshole and a stupid fuck, remember you’re perfect, because I made you,”

I chuckled. “You had to add that to your speech, didn’t you?”

She smiled fondly and nodded. “I made you, that makes me your amazing mother that would like her son to go and get his man one day. And if that man is poor or rich or has three legs, he’s still welcome here, since I love you and whoever you love that loves you back, will be a son of mine,”

“You sound so philosophic today, what happened?”

“That dude that will hopefully be your next father-figure,” she answered.

“Oh yeah, tell me more about him. So I at least know what I have to deal with tomorrow. Mentally getting ready for it,” she laughed and started telling me about his looks and how he is and how he treated her and well yeah, he seems to be the perfect guy for my mom, but I still have to see him first.

…

“Good night Ma. See you tomorrow evening at dinner!” she smiled and said goodbye before I rushed up the stairs and into my room, getting in the shower to be cleaned up. After all of my routine was done, I let myself fall onto my bed and got my phone from the night stand.

**TO: ZAYN :)**

**‘Hey, how are you? Xx**

**-Niall Horan.’**

 I have no idea why I even texted him, I just felt like it. Louis isn’t a good idea, since he will just stalk me through the night and well Harry basically hates me.

My phone vibrated and I looked down at my screen.

**FROM: ZAYN :)**

**‘Hey princess. I’m great, just tired. Hru? Missed me today ;)? How was your day with Mr. Everyone-Wants-To-Get-In-My-Pants? Had fun ;) ;p? Xo’**

 I gaped at the text, and smirked.

**TO: ZAYN :)**

**‘LOL! Nah, he’s actually a dick. Not that I don’t want his… ;) just because he has one doesn’t mean he has to act like one… that’s the only comment about him though Xx**

**-Niall Horan.’**

It took like… 1 minute for him to respond.

**FROM: ZAYN :)**

**‘Okay, 1) didn’t have to know that. :p and 2) he sounds like he’s not worth fighting for. Why do girls like him if he’s a dick? Anyway, I’m going to sleep Nialler. Bye, see yah tomorrow or whatever princess. Xo’**

 What I now realize is… Is his nickname for me really princess?

Another text woke me up from my thoughts. Pfff.. here comes what I call Stalking-Tom. You know? From talking Tom? The cat? But then Stalking because he stalks me and Tom from… Tommo? Got it? Huh? Huh? No? Okay…

**FROM: Unknown**

**‘Be ready tomorrow 6 am. I’m picking you up. Training time’** it said.

At first it I was thinking about who it could be, but then I realized… who the hell do I train with?

 The answer is easy:

_Harry_


	16. Sixteen

“No of course not. I’m-….- You’ll see,” I heard parts of a conversation that was taking place somewhere around me. The voice I could hear clearly was one of a woman. It was soft and southing to my ears.

My eyes did their best to open, or just do anything, but they weren’t functioning the way I wanted them to.

“Okay, thank you, Mrs. Should I press t-…- when he wakes up?” I hate only hearing parts of someone’s conversation.

“Yeah, so I can take some te-…”

“Okay, bye,” I heard a door close and a hand on my chest, making me take in a deeper breath. “Niall, are you awake?” he asked me.

_C’mon Niall. Give him a sign of life!_

I wanted to, but I couldn’t. My lips wouldn’t part. My eyes wouldn’t open, and I don’t thinks there is another way to communicate with him. “You seem to be awake though. Can you hear me?”

YES! YES I CAN! Ugh I hate this…

“Try and lift your pinky or whatever finger you want if you’re awake,” he said. Oh, okay, that’s a great idea!

My pinky lifted a little bit up and for some reason my lips formed a smile. “Good job. I guess,” he said awkwardly. He really isn’t the “Friendly-type” of guy huh? “Hey, you’re smirking,” he commented. “Can you open your eyes for me?” he asked.

_What do you think I’m trying to do ever since I ‘woke up’?_

With a lot of effort, I felt my eyes actually closing even more. “No, that’s closing your eyes, I asked to open them, silly,” oh you must be kidding me. “C’mon, think… think that there are some sexy nurses here?” he tried. Well if that was the case I would rather keep my eyes closed. He sighed as I didn’t show any sign of success. “C’mon, you. I know you can do it. By the way, you suck at running, sorry I just had to tell you,” he chuckled. Oh I wish I could see him now. His beautiful eyes, his  perfect shaped lips… oh…

My lips parted a little and when I spoke, my voice didn’t sound all too great. “You suck at being-“ I swallowed thickly, “subtle,” I added. He laughed softly while padding my hand.

“Even for someone who just woke up from passing out, you’re quite funny,” he said. I smiled and finally found the strength to open my eyes and wow. This was a moment to definitely cherish for life.

Harry’s emerald green eyes were looking deeply into my blue-ish ones. His pupils blown a bit and his eyes were shining a bit. Happiness and relieve rushed through them.

“Hi,” he whispered before he backed away. “How are you feeling? Are you still hurt?” he asked.

“A bit. I’m okay now. Just a dry throat, give me something to drink, please?” I answered. He nodded and quickly handed me a cup of water, helping me to get a sip of it. “Thanks.” My voice already sounds better.

“You’re welcome. I’m sorry by the way,” I looked at him questioningly and cocked my head to the side.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“Because you could've died because of me,” he answered. “if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be here in the hospital. I’m a total dick."

“I can’t say you aren’t,” he nodded and sighed, looking down a bit. “But I also can’t say you are. Since a real dick would’ve just let me there to die. And you didn’t. So no, you’re no dick, you’re just selfish,” he rolled his eyes and smiled a bit at me.

“How come you don’t already hate me? I acted like a total dick towards you. I forgot you outside for 20 minutes. I almost killed you, seriously Horan. You should be totally afraid of me by now,” he said at first serious, but more playful at the end.

“Maybe I just like dicks,” I said casually. Once I realized what I said, my eyes spread wide and I mentally face-palmed myself. “I didn’t mea-“

“It’s cool. I know what you mean. Being gay is weird. I mean, you would just miss all the parts a girl has, what a boy hasn’t. Anyway, I know what you meant. And thanks for the not all too sweet compliment. I knew I was a dick, but hearing it, does hurt,” he laughed at the end.

“Yeah, well, you deserve it. Anyway, when can I leave this Hell house?”

“Once you stop calling it ‘Hell house’,” he answered casually.

“Okay, when can I leave this H. E. L. L. house?”

“That’s still the same,”

“Fine! When can I finally get out of here?”

“Better, and I beeped the nurse, but I guess she’s too busy fucking some doctor or something…” Is he really so open about sex, or am I just that innocent?

“Can you stop about the… uhm… you know-thing…?” I asked, sounding like a little kid that just learned what it is and is embarrassed.

“Stop about what?” he asked amused.

“You know…”

“Sex?”

I blushed crimson red.

_C’mon Niall! You’re an adult! You should be able to talk about it with him! If you can have a dirty dream about him, then you can also talk about it!_

“You’re so innocent, gosh Niall. Sex comes naturally,”

_‘Everything comes naturally,_

_It comes naturally,_

_When you’re with me baby.’_

“I know, it’s just weird to talk about it,” I admitted.

“Oh well if you’re uncomfortable with it, I won’t talk about it. I mean, I don’t want to bring you in an uncomfortable position.”

“Nah it’s okay. Just…. I’m not really the one to talk to about it …” that didn’t make sense, did it?

“Why not, if I may ask you?”

“Well… oh look, the nurse is there,” I’ve never been so happy to see a nurse in my life…

She smiled at me as she walked in, a clipboard in her hand and a pen in her other. “Hello Mr. Horan. How are you feeling? You fell really hard on your head,” she said sweetly.

“I’m actually feeling quite okay. When can I go back home?”

She laughed softly and smiled at me. “Well, once I got your IV out of you and checked if everything is alright, you’re free to go. Just remember if you have problems with your balance, come back and we’ll do some tests, since you just fell on the side of your head, where unfortunately is your hypothalamus. Well, I already see you guys looking confused, so I’ll explain some more. The hypothalamus is a little spot in your brain that controls basically everything in your body. Your emotions, reproduction, autonomic nerves system and the endocrine are all under the wing of your hypothalamus. Also it controls your blood pressure, heart rate, hunger and thirst, sleep-wake schedule, sexual arousal and body temperature. So if anything doesn’t seem to be right, with just any of those, then please come back and let us take a quick check up,” she explained. I nodded and smiled at her.

After she pulled out the IV in my arm, she checked some little things and told me I could just leave after I checked out. “I will already check you out, you can… get your clothes back on,” Harry said as he walked out of the room.

I quickly changed into my regular clothes and sat myself back down on the hospital bed.

It didn’t take long till Harry was back. “Ready Niall?” I smiled and nodded, standing up and walking to Harry before walking back out of the room. Harry’s hand made its way to my back as he lightly pushed me, but not in a way to say I have to walk faster, just in a way to say: ‘I’ll be there if you fall’ and that made me feel safe. “Oh and Niall?” I looked up at Harry once we were at his car. “Never scare me as much as you did there,” he said before opening the door, getting inside of the car.

So he was worried…. About my life? Wow…

…

“Ugh oh hell no. Lama’s aren’t better than flamingo’s,” he said in a fake-sassy way. I rolled my eyes and laid back on his bed.

“Lama’s are at least funny. Ever watched the lama video?”

“Which video?”

“Oh no! Are you kidding me? _The_ lama video! It’s hilarious! How can it be possible that you never watched it?!”

“Because I like flamingo’s more?” I slapped his arm a bit with the back of my hand and glared.

“Here, I have it on my phone,” he groaned before I put it on.

_‘Happy lama_

_Sad lama_

_Mentally_ _disturb_ _lama_

_Super lama_

_Drama Lama_

_Big fat mama lama!’_ I laughed uncontrollably, not being able to hold it in. After a few seconds, I calmed down and looked at Harry with happy tears blurring  my view.

“Oh c’mon, don’t say that isn’t the funniest video ever!” I said as I saw his un-amused face.

“Niall, don’t tell me you actually liked that. That was horrible. Not funny and just childish. How can you possibly like that? Are you… what? 4?”

“No, mentally 12, excuse you,” he rolled his eyes let himself lay down. Closing his eyes, he let his hands slip behind his head. He looked so beautiful. I wish he was sleeping so I could stare at his beautiful fa-

“Stop staring,” he suddenly said. I was utterly confused. His eyes were closed. Yet he knew  I was staring. Instead of stopping, I of course just kept on staring. “Take a picture it will last longer, I swear. Stop staring. It’s weird,”

“Ho-“

“Never had the feeling that you’ve been watched? It’s a strange feeling. Anyway, let’s chill for the rest of the day. I feel like taking a nap, what about you?”

“I feel like… I’m hungry,”

“Then go and fetch yourself something,”

“This is your house. More like your palace. One, I would probably get lost in this and two,  it’s impolite to fetch yourself food or something to drink in someone else’s house,”

“So what? I’m lazy. I won’t make you food, buddy,”

I pouted, but I knew he couldn't even see it. I quickly climbed on top of him and hovered over his body. He opened his eyes, only to be met with mine. His curious and confused, yet amused look said more than thousand words. “Pwease?” I asked as childish as I could. For more effect, a little pout and my eyes a bit wider. He looked in ‘awe’ at me and pushed me off of him before sighing.

“You’re lucky you’re adorable like that. Let’s get you a sandwich, so I can finally take a nap. And you better join me then, since I won’t take you home before I took a nap,” he said a bit annoyed, yet amused with me. I think I succeed to impress him somehow.

“Yay! Food!” he chuckled and shook his head.

…

Two sandwiches later and Harry and I were laying back on his bed. I was just facing the ceiling, looking up at it as I was thinking while Harry was sleeping softly. I turned on my side and looked at him. His lips parted as little puffs of air left his mouth. His chest went up and down in a steady rhythm. His eyes were closed and his lashes looked extremely long.

I started to feel a bit tired, too, so I let myself rest my head on his chest. I know, challenging, but he didn’t notice and if he wakes up and sees me sleeping on top of him, I just use the excuse of not knowing what I do in my sleep. As simple as that.

So I let my head rest on his chest, closed my eyes and cuddled a little bit closer to him, before feeling sleep wash over me.

And just before I drifted off to dreamland, I felt Harry cuddle closer to me too.

_I needed him, I knew that._

_And somewhere deep inside me, I could feel like he needed me too._


	17. Seventeen

“No of course not. I’m-….- You’ll see,” I heard parts of a conversation that was taking place somewhere around me. The voice I could hear clearly was one of a woman. It was soft and southing to my ears.

My eyes did their best to open, or just do anything, but they weren’t functioning the way I wanted them to.

“Okay, thank you, Mrs. Should I press t-…- when he wakes up?” I hate only hearing parts of someone’s conversation.

“Yeah, so I can take some te-…”

“Okay, bye,” I heard a door close and a hand on my chest, making me take in a deeper breath. “Niall, are you awake?” he asked me.

_C’mon Niall. Give him a sign of life!_

I wanted to, but I couldn’t. My lips wouldn’t part. My eyes wouldn’t open, and I don’t thinks there is another way to communicate with him. “You seem to be awake though. Can you hear me?”

YES! YES I CAN! Ugh I hate this…

“Try and lift your pinky or whatever finger you want if you’re awake,” he said. Oh, okay, that’s a great idea!

My pinky lifted a little bit up and for some reason my lips formed a smile. “Good job. I guess,” he said awkwardly. He really isn’t the “Friendly-type” of guy huh? “Hey, you’re smirking,” he commented. “Can you open your eyes for me?” he asked.

_What do you think I’m trying to do ever since I ‘woke up’?_

With a lot of effort, I felt my eyes actually closing even more. “No, that’s closing your eyes, I asked to open them, silly,” oh you must be kidding me. “C’mon, think… think that there are some sexy nurses here?” he tried. Well if that was the case I would rather keep my eyes closed. He sighed as I didn’t show any sign of success. “C’mon, you. I know you can do it. By the way, you suck at running, sorry I just had to tell you,” he chuckled. Oh I wish I could see him now. His beautiful eyes, his  perfect shaped lips… oh…

My lips parted a little and when I spoke, my voice didn’t sound all too great. “You suck at being-“ I swallowed thickly, “subtle,” I added. He laughed softly while padding my hand.

“Even for someone who just woke up from passing out, you’re quite funny,” he said. I smiled and finally found the strength to open my eyes and wow. This was a moment to definitely cherish for life.

Harry’s emerald green eyes were looking deeply into my blue-ish ones. His pupils blown a bit and his eyes were shining a bit. Happiness and relieve rushed through them.

“Hi,” he whispered before he backed away. “How are you feeling? Are you still hurt?” he asked.

“A bit. I’m okay now. Just a dry throat, give me something to drink, please?” I answered. He nodded and quickly handed me a cup of water, helping me to get a sip of it. “Thanks.” My voice already sounds better.

“You’re welcome. I’m sorry by the way,” I looked at him questioningly and cocked my head to the side.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“Because you could've died because of me,” he answered. “if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be here in the hospital. I’m a total dick."

“I can’t say you aren’t,” he nodded and sighed, looking down a bit. “But I also can’t say you are. Since a real dick would’ve just let me there to die. And you didn’t. So no, you’re no dick, you’re just selfish,” he rolled his eyes and smiled a bit at me.

“How come you don’t already hate me? I acted like a total dick towards you. I forgot you outside for 20 minutes. I almost killed you, seriously Horan. You should be totally afraid of me by now,” he said at first serious, but more playful at the end.

“Maybe I just like dicks,” I said casually. Once I realized what I said, my eyes spread wide and I mentally face-palmed myself. “I didn’t mea-“

“It’s cool. I know what you mean. Being gay is weird. I mean, you would just miss all the parts a girl has, what a boy hasn’t. Anyway, I know what you meant. And thanks for the not all too sweet compliment. I knew I was a dick, but hearing it, does hurt,” he laughed at the end.

“Yeah, well, you deserve it. Anyway, when can I leave this Hell house?”

“Once you stop calling it ‘Hell house’,” he answered casually.

“Okay, when can I leave this H. E. L. L. house?”

“That’s still the same,”

“Fine! When can I finally get out of here?”

“Better, and I beeped the nurse, but I guess she’s too busy fucking some doctor or something…” Is he really so open about sex, or am I just that innocent?

“Can you stop about the… uhm… you know-thing…?” I asked, sounding like a little kid that just learned what it is and is embarrassed.

“Stop about what?” he asked amused.

“You know…”

“Sex?”

I blushed crimson red.

_C’mon Niall! You’re an adult! You should be able to talk about it with him! If you can have a dirty dream about him, then you can also talk about it!_

“You’re so innocent, gosh Niall. Sex comes naturally,”

_‘Everything comes naturally,_

_It comes naturally,_

_When you’re with me baby.’_

“I know, it’s just weird to talk about it,” I admitted.

“Oh well if you’re uncomfortable with it, I won’t talk about it. I mean, I don’t want to bring you in an uncomfortable position.”

“Nah it’s okay. Just…. I’m not really the one to talk to about it …” that didn’t make sense, did it?

“Why not, if I may ask you?”

“Well… oh look, the nurse is there,” I’ve never been so happy to see a nurse in my life…

She smiled at me as she walked in, a clipboard in her hand and a pen in her other. “Hello Mr. Horan. How are you feeling? You fell really hard on your head,” she said sweetly.

“I’m actually feeling quite okay. When can I go back home?”

She laughed softly and smiled at me. “Well, once I got your IV out of you and checked if everything is alright, you’re free to go. Just remember if you have problems with your balance, come back and we’ll do some tests, since you just fell on the side of your head, where unfortunately is your hypothalamus. Well, I already see you guys looking confused, so I’ll explain some more. The hypothalamus is a little spot in your brain that controls basically everything in your body. Your emotions, reproduction, autonomic nerves system and the endocrine are all under the wing of your hypothalamus. Also it controls your blood pressure, heart rate, hunger and thirst, sleep-wake schedule, sexual arousal and body temperature. So if anything doesn’t seem to be right, with just any of those, then please come back and let us take a quick check up,” she explained. I nodded and smiled at her.

After she pulled out the IV in my arm, she checked some little things and told me I could just leave after I checked out. “I will already check you out, you can… get your clothes back on,” Harry said as he walked out of the room.

I quickly changed into my regular clothes and sat myself back down on the hospital bed.

It didn’t take long till Harry was back. “Ready Niall?” I smiled and nodded, standing up and walking to Harry before walking back out of the room. Harry’s hand made its way to my back as he lightly pushed me, but not in a way to say I have to walk faster, just in a way to say: ‘I’ll be there if you fall’ and that made me feel safe. “Oh and Niall?” I looked up at Harry once we were at his car. “Never scare me as much as you did there,” he said before opening the door, getting inside of the car.

So he was worried…. About my life? Wow…

…

“Ugh oh hell no. Lama’s aren’t better than flamingo’s,” he said in a fake-sassy way. I rolled my eyes and laid back on his bed.

“Lama’s are at least funny. Ever watched the lama video?”

“Which video?”

“Oh no! Are you kidding me? _The_ lama video! It’s hilarious! How can it be possible that you never watched it?!”

“Because I like flamingo’s more?” I slapped his arm a bit with the back of my hand and glared.

“Here, I have it on my phone,” he groaned before I put it on.

_‘Happy lama_

_Sad lama_

_Mentally_ _disturb_ _lama_

_Super lama_

_Drama Lama_

_Big fat mama lama!’_ I laughed uncontrollably, not being able to hold it in. After a few seconds, I calmed down and looked at Harry with happy tears blurring  my view.

“Oh c’mon, don’t say that isn’t the funniest video ever!” I said as I saw his un-amused face.

“Niall, don’t tell me you actually liked that. That was horrible. Not funny and just childish. How can you possibly like that? Are you… what? 4?”

“No, mentally 12, excuse you,” he rolled his eyes let himself lay down. Closing his eyes, he let his hands slip behind his head. He looked so beautiful. I wish he was sleeping so I could stare at his beautiful fa-

“Stop staring,” he suddenly said. I was utterly confused. His eyes were closed. Yet he knew  I was staring. Instead of stopping, I of course just kept on staring. “Take a picture it will last longer, I swear. Stop staring. It’s weird,”

“Ho-“

“Never had the feeling that you’ve been watched? It’s a strange feeling. Anyway, let’s chill for the rest of the day. I feel like taking a nap, what about you?”

“I feel like… I’m hungry,”

“Then go and fetch yourself something,”

“This is your house. More like your palace. One, I would probably get lost in this and two,  it’s impolite to fetch yourself food or something to drink in someone else’s house,”

“So what? I’m lazy. I won’t make you food, buddy,”

I pouted, but I knew he couldn't even see it. I quickly climbed on top of him and hovered over his body. He opened his eyes, only to be met with mine. His curious and confused, yet amused look said more than thousand words. “Pwease?” I asked as childish as I could. For more effect, a little pout and my eyes a bit wider. He looked in ‘awe’ at me and pushed me off of him before sighing.

“You’re lucky you’re adorable like that. Let’s get you a sandwich, so I can finally take a nap. And you better join me then, since I won’t take you home before I took a nap,” he said a bit annoyed, yet amused with me. I think I succeed to impress him somehow.

“Yay! Food!” he chuckled and shook his head.

…

Two sandwiches later and Harry and I were laying back on his bed. I was just facing the ceiling, looking up at it as I was thinking while Harry was sleeping softly. I turned on my side and looked at him. His lips parted as little puffs of air left his mouth. His chest went up and down in a steady rhythm. His eyes were closed and his lashes looked extremely long.

I started to feel a bit tired, too, so I let myself rest my head on his chest. I know, challenging, but he didn’t notice and if he wakes up and sees me sleeping on top of him, I just use the excuse of not knowing what I do in my sleep. As simple as that.

So I let my head rest on his chest, closed my eyes and cuddled a little bit closer to him, before feeling sleep wash over me.

And just before I drifted off to dreamland, I felt Harry cuddle closer to me too.

_I needed him, I knew that._

_And somewhere deep inside me, I could feel like he needed me too._


	18. Eighteen

Something beneath me moved and I heart someone’s heart beat. My eyes opened after taking a breath, and I saw I was still laying on Harry’s chest. I got up from his chest and looked at him with lazy, sleepy eyes. He seemed to be clearly awake and looked down at me, a small smile on his face when he saw I was awake. “Hi,” he said.

“Hey,” I said, barely above a whisper. He just smiled a bit brighter and turned on his side, eye-leveling me as he did. He had this cute smile on his face and his beautiful eyes were a bit darker, pupils blown.

“Had a nice nap?” he asked. I looked down and almost blushed because he was so close to my face right now… “I must admit, I had a very nice nap. It was a bit on the long side, but that’s alright, right?” he chuckled. I quickly pulled out my phone to check the time.

_’18.21’_

Wow we really took a long nap!

My eyes widened a bit at the thought of my mom not being really happy to see that I forgot dinner with her and her new boyfriend. “What? Something wrong? You aren’t going to tell me that you had to be at home at a particular time, right?”

I groaned and rested my head against the soft pillow. “I’m going to die,” I whined. “She told me to be home for dinner and Louis gone before it.” I was just talking to no one particular. “Yup. I’m dead!”

“No you aren’t. You seem to be pretty alive to me. I mean, I don’t know anything about being undead, but you don’t seem to already be dead…” he tried to lighten up the mood. _No Harry. Not the time. Not the moment. Not at all._

“This is actually not funny. My mom has a new boyfriend and she told me to meet him tonight at dinner. He has a little girl of 3 and my mom also texted me, saying his -clearly unexpected- son was coming too…” I explained a bit. He nodded and looked down at me a bit.

“Well, maybe we’re not too late, I can always drive you back home in a rush?”

“You’re going to have an accident, or hit someone or just basically get us killed. No thank you. I rather have my mom mad at me, then being killed in a car accident,” I said as I got out of his bed, Harry doing the exact same.

“Okay, okay. Anyway, if your mom is mad, just tell her it was my fault or something. I mean, no she won’t like me right from the start, but oh well. I can handle that,” he said laughing softly.

“No Harry, I can not do that to you. By the way, she probably won’t ever hate you. She likes Louis too, and well… Louis is not your regular guy…”  he frowned and looked confused as we went down the stairs and into his car.

“What’s wrong with this Louis guy? Is he gay or what?” Okay well that was offending. I mean, it’s okay to ask that, but the way he asked it, sounding totally against homosexuality, I’m sorry but that’s just really rude. Why do people always think we’re different?

“U-uh… well yeah he is, but he’s not really the type to date anyway. And uh… why do you sound like you hate gays?” I asked hesitatingly. He looked at me quickly, before starting the car.

“I don’t hate them. I just don’t think it’s… well yeah normal. I mean, like what I said in the hospital. Why would a guy miss something like the beautiful parts of a girl’s body? I mean, be honest Niall. I know you’re not really the one to talk about sex and such, but if you had to chose between a dick or a pussy, what would you choose?” Oh you’re not making this any more easy….

“Uh-…” I blushed and he just smiled softly again before driving off the driveway. “Pussy?” it sounded weird and mostly more like a question. I felt embarrassed, since I never talk about those things –certainly never with my crush- and now I’m even lying. I feel bad for the lying, but this will bring me closer to Harry, something I need. My body needs it. My mind needs it. I just need it.

_I need him…_

…

I opened the door and walked inside. After having the most awkward conversation of my life with Harry, I seriously just wanted to head upstairs and into my room. texting Louis about this all and just, well relax. Getting everything off of my mind, because, actually, this isn’t your typical day, right?

I ran with Harry Styles in the park. I passed out and smacked my head on the ground. Went to the hospital for it. Came back with Harry. Took a nap with Harry. Having the most awkward conversation or my life. Well yeah… I can finally say: I had an exhausting day.

“Niall, hunny? Is that you?” my mom called from –what sounded like- the kitchen. I yelled back a quick ‘yes’ before going up the stairs, but she stopped me. “You’re late young boy,”

“I know Ma,” I sighed and just turned back around, to face her.

She crossed her arms over her chest and waited a few seconds. She gave me the ‘Well, are you still going to explain it?’ look, and opened her mouth again. “Well? No excuses? No: It-wasn’t-my-fault’s?” she asked.

“Nope,” was my simple answer. She sighed and then looked at my head, seeing the patch that was on it for stopping the blood from spilling out of my head.

Her eyes softened and she took some steps on the staircase closer to me. “Oh Niall, baby what happened?”

“Nothing Ma. I just fell. It’s nothing big,”

“I know when something is big enough to worry about! I’m your mother and a nurse! Now you ain’t going to tell me that _that_ ,” she pointed with her finger to my patch, “isn’t anything big,” she said.

“Ma, please leave it. I’m really not in the mood. I just want to go to bed and sleep,”

“But it’s only twenty to 7pm.,”

“I’m first taking a long, warm bath, and then I’m going to sleep,” I said before walking up the stairs and into my room.

When I was running the bath, I stripped down, and looked again at my reflection in the mirror. I feel like I’m just… just not good enough for him. He’s so freaking well build and I’m… I’m a twink. My body looks like it has never, _ever_ seen abs before. I look like I’m just… just not strong enough to even defense myself. There could be a guy that wants to murder me, and by the looks of it, I wouldn’t be able to stop him.

A soft knock was placed on the door, as I was already lying in bath. Bath foam was all over my body and over the surface. “Niall, baby? Can I come in?”

“I’m naked,” I answered back, not having a care in the world to open my eyes.

I heard the door opening and my mom’s voice was more clear now. “Like as if I never saw you naked before. Don’t you think you came out of me with cloths on, young man. Because if you think that happened, I’m going to talk to your biology teacher from high school,” she chuckled.

I didn’t say a thing, just relaxing in the hot water and trying to block everything out. My mom sat down next to me on the floor and sighed. “Oh, Niall. Baby I know something happened today, and I’m sure it has something to do with your little crush on that boy.” I gave her an annoyed look and she chuckled. “Now before you tell me not to worry or whatever you were even about to say, I’m not saying that you have to tell me what happened. Only know that lying to your mother isn’t easy. Certainly not when the hospital called to ask me if my son was feeling better. Anyway, I’m not here to ground you or annoy you , I’m here to say that, if you need me, I’m here and I will always be here for you. I know that love isn’t easy, and I know that loving someone that maybe doesn’t like you back is even the hardest of love, but believe me in this, baby. I’m not saying tomorrow. I’m not saying next year. But one day, you’ll find your prince charming that will make you happy. I know he’s up there. Even if it’s just that one particular guy that may seem to not have any interest in you,” she ended her speech.

“I love you, Ma. Thanks,”

“I love you more than anything. Now if you excuse me, I’m going downstairs, watching those series I’m addicted to. Tomorrow we’ll have dinner, again, with my –like you call it- boyfriend and his kids. Please be nice and be on time this time. You’ll have no excuses. The only excuse I will take from you is that your crush said he loves you and you two made love. Other than that, you’ll be on time. Got it?”

“Yes Ma’am!” she chuckled and shook her head.

“You’re my little, brave soldier. And I’m proud of you. Now enjoy your bath, my little prince,”

“Thanks Ma,” she nodded and kissed my forehead, before walking out of the bathroom.

It didn’t take me long to get out of the bath tub and into my bed.

I slept a lot this day, yet I still feel so tired. That’s why once I closed my eyes, I stated to dream. 

_A dream that I would love to make real…_


	19. Nineteen

_I felt the bed dip a little bit. Breath hitting my lips. My arms were lift up above my head as I felt lips against mine. They were soft, plump, sweet. I kissed back softly while feeling something grind on me, making me moan out between the kiss -that was getting hot- I might add. I could feel myself already hardening as the seconds passed._

_He pulled back slightly, making me whine as I only wanted his lips on mine. My eyes fluttered open to be met with Harry’s green ones. He smirked devilish and I could just see the lust in his eyes. Wanting me as much as I want him. “Hi,” he whispered close to my ear as he bit softly down on it. Another moan escaped my lips and god, I just need him! Now!_

_“Harry,” I breathed out. He pulled back and pecked my lips quickly before nodding. His hands slowly trailed down to the hem of my pajama top before looking back up at me, slightly panting. His eyes searched in mine for any sign of acceptation and he seemed to find it because he lifted my shirt up, over my head with a little bit of help._

_He licked his lips at the sight of my body. I wanted to cover my upper body up with something, but couldn’t find anything else but my arms, so that’s what I did. With my arms I covered the parts my hands and arms could reach, crossing over my chest and belly. “Please, don’t cover up. You’re beautiful,” he said as he removed my arms from my chest and kissed down. Going lower and lower till he reached my pajama bottoms. “Are you okay with this?” he asked softly, showing me that he in fact did care about me._

_I groaned a little bit and nodded my head eagerly. “So ready for you, oh please,” he nodded and pulled my bottoms down, leaving me only in my boxers before he got back up to place a soft kiss on my lips. His lips then trailed to my neck, kissing, sucking even biting my neck. Leaving purple and blue love-bites all over my neck._

_I moaned out a little bit getting more and aroused. “Harry…” I breathed out. “Oh Harry,”_

_He basically did the same, moaning my name softly. It sounded like heaven. “Niall. Hmmm. You’re so hot.” He moaned. As he kissed, he said my name. Each time sounding more and more sexy. “Niall.” “Niall.”_

“Niall…. Niall!” I jumped up, making the wrong move which made me land on my bum on the ground, my comforters following with me as I fell. I heard some laughing and I looked up from under the white comforters that were now laying on my head. “Oh god! You aren’t going to tell me you had a wet dream about that Harry kid, now are you?” Louis laughed loudly. I groaned and covered my face with the comforters that were still lying on top of me which caused Louis to laugh even more.

I got up and glared at Louis before going into the bathroom, letting the shower run so it could get warm. Quickly stripping down of my pajama’s, I got into the shower and tried to get rid of that painfully morning wood.

Louis knocked on my door after I released my load and panted against the shower wall. “Hey babe. You received a text from Dickhead. Should I read out lo-“ before he could even finish his sentence, I stopped the shower and got out. Rushing to the door, I opened it and grabbed my phone from his hands. “Hey, I was about to read that shit,”

I smirked and closed the door again. “That’s why I took it, you fool,” he huffed and let himself fall on my bed, which I could hear since there was a loud cracking sound coming from it.

While drying myself and my hair, I unlocked the screen, being glad that I put one on yesterday. I opened the message I received from Harry, blushing a bit because of the dream I had… This will be an awkward day, won’t it?

Before I really opened his message, I changed his name into: Sex God, just because I can.

**FROM: Sex God**

**‘Hey. How are you feeling? How’s your head? I hope you’re feeling well enough to give running a try? Not that extreme today. I realized that maybe I should build the running up with your tempo and such. That’s training for me and for you. Hope you don’t mind. We can also just like… pfffff I don’t know, hang out? Maybe? Anyway, hope to see you in a few, text me when I can come pick you up yeah?’**

 I smiled down and could feel the blood running to my cheeks. He wants to hang out with me!

_No Niall. He wants to run. To train._

He cares about me.

_No… no he doesn’t. At all!_

Then why would he ever try and run at my tempo?

_What do you think of not wanting to wait a whole fucking day in the hospital again? Huh? He probably doesn’t want to go to the hospital with you all over again. You know, that’s annoying._

He said we were friends.

_And you’re that pathetic to even believe that? You’re so damn pathetic, Niall! How can you even live with yourself? Seriously! Since you seemed to be a Neanderthal, I’ll tell you this slowly._

_You._

_Aren’t._

_Friends._

_With._

_Harry._

_And you will never be._

Are you quite done with your speech? I’m getting tired of you.

I sighed as I looked into the mirror before starting on getting dressed. Once I was done with everything, I texted Harry, telling that he could come to pick me up. He immediately texted back that he was on his way. He’s so cute. Damn!

When I opened  the door, I got attacked by Louis. “And….?” He asked. I looked at him, giving him the ‘ _What the actual fuck are you talking about, loser?_ ’-look.

“And…. What?” I asked. He sighed, looking annoyed and went back to my bed, patting on the spot next to me.

I did as he ordered me and sat down. “Okay. Little Nialler. You’re now at the age when you’re feeling things for other peo-“

“Louis!”

“Let me finish, you’ll like this talk more with me than your mom, be honest,” he said. Well… I wouldn’t like to admit, but yes. I nodded and he smiled. “Okay, so you’re now at the age when feelings are involved. You’ll soon be to the next step, being it kissing.”

I looked at him, acting hurt from his words. “And what makes you think I didn’t had that phase long time ago?”

“Niall…”

“Yeah yeah…”

He chuckled. “Kissing is the shortest phase, after that you get really quick to the se-“

“Oh god please no!”

“Niall, you’re going to listen, or do I have to spank you?” I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Good boy. Well after kissing there is the best part, being it sex. It’s natural Niall. And you’re lucky, since you’re a male and those can’t get pregnant,” he said. He seemed to be okay with his little ‘speech’, till he remembered something. “Which of course doesn’t mean you don’t need to use protection!” he added almost yelling. I groaned and nodded.

“If I tell you that I will use protection whenever I’m ready for sex, are you going to  shut your cake-hole then?” he nodded, smiling brightly. “Okay, fine. I will. Yeah? Don’t expect that to be anytime soon though. For now, my hand does a great job.” he looked at me in disgust, which made me chuckle a little.

The bell went, making me stop chuckling and widening my eyes. Shit! He’s already here! No not right after this with Louis and sex and oh my god!

I rushed down the stairs, Louis walking slowly behind me. As I got my jacket from its hanger, I looked in the mirror, fixing my hair. Louis was now at the ground in front of the stairs. With a last check in the mirror, I opened the door. Harry was standing casually in the door opening, this time looking right up in my eyes from the second I opened the door. Wow…

“Hi,” he said. Little memories from my dream crossed my mind, but I shook them off, not wanting to ruin this.

“Hey,” I answered pretty casually back. He smiled and got out of the way for me to walk out. “Bye Lou. Don’t burn the house, kay?”

“Yeah yeah. Have fun kids. Oh and Niall?” I turned around and saw him smirking. This only brings the devils on the table…. “Be safe,” he said. I gave him the ‘ _don’t you dare’_ –look. And he just smiled sweetly at me. “And make sure to be alone. You never know whe-“

“BYE LOUIS!”

I wanted to close the door, but he yelled quickly before it closed: “USE PROTECTION!” I slammed the door shut and groaned.

“That’s you-“

“I hate him,” I interrupted Harry.

He chuckled and walked to his car, getting in as he waited for me to join. Once I did, he smiled and started the car, driving off the driveway. “So, going for a run? It’s nice outside. I mean, if you’re ready for it. I don’t want to push you. I totally understand if you don’t want to yet. With yesterday-“

“It’s fine. I can handle it.”

_What the fuck are you saying?! You know you can’t handle it at all! You’re going to pass right from the start. You know your head is still spinning!_

No! I can handle it! I can handle it if he wants me to!

_You’re going to get yourself killed with this little stupid crush on some boy that never even liked you and won’t like you in the first place._

Shut up!

“Are you okay?” Harry asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked up at him, seeing him looking at me, sometimes looking back to the road to make sure he won’t crash. “You’re looking a bit pale, Niall.” I couldn’t even say something. My mouth was glued. “Okay, well we aren’t running that’s for sure.” I wanted to protest, but he wouldn’t let me. “No. Look, I’m not risking your life just because I’m too stupid to not realize you’re not ready yet. You almost died yesterday from running too much. I’m not letting you run the day after such a thing. I’m sorry I had to see you before realizing this is wrong. Anyway, we’ll just head to mine and play some games, we can  do whatever you want. Yeah? Or if you want to go to the gym again, to well… do your other job? That’s fine by me. I can just go for a quick run while you’re at it,” he finished. I nodded quickly, liking his last idea a bit.

“Yeah, gym sounds great right now. I can’t let Nena do all my work while I’m just chilling. I’m supposed to train you, not make you all fat and lazy. But hey? What can I say? I can only teach you the things I’m best at, right?” I tried to lighten up the mood. He laughed a bit and shook his head.

“You sure as hell are one of a kind, Niall. But sure, let’s head to gym so you can do something with your life and I can run.”

…

“NIALL! I missed you! You have no idea how boring it is here when you’re not around! Are you going to clean or just relax with me? I need a talk buddy seriously! You never believe what happened here anyways! Oh Niall give me a proper hug!” Nena cried out once she saw me again. She pulled me in for a bone-crushing hug and kissed my cheek as she released me again.

“Hey Nena. I’m here to clean a bit,” I said. she smiled and nodded.

“I will stay with you! Help you a bit!”

“I don’t think so, Nena. Let Niall here do his job while you do yours.” I heard a pretty familiar voice. “Besides. I’m always there to join Niall for a chat. He likes me more, just so you know it,” I turned around to just find him winking at Nena before looking a bit down at me, smiling brightly. “Hey Nialler. Long time no see. Don’t you think?” he asked. His eyes widened a bit at the sight of my head. Once I realized I forgot the patch, I mentally groaned. “What happened to your head?”

“I fell. Out of bed. It’s Louis’ fault,” I lied… not very smoothly.

He seemed not to believe me, but went along with it. “Yeah… Louis sure is a dork. Anyway, you should clean. Like now. I’ll come with you,” he said.

“Not so fast, at least I want to know who’s basically taking Niall with him. Wouldn’t want him to get raped, now would I?” I heard Harry’s voice. _Whaaaaaaaat_?

He turned to Harry and fake smiled. “Mr. Styles, isn’t it? Oh, such a pleasure to meet you,” Zayn said, all too sweetly, yet fake as hell.

“Would love to say the same, but unfortunately, I don’t feel like it,” Harry said through gritted teeth. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I would swear. I think he’s… jealous?

Zayn fake smiled and looked to Nena who quickly looked back at her computer typing away. “Well, well. I would’ve at least expect to be met with a polite young man. That’s what they all expect from the future boss of, let’s say _the world_. Your dad is the maker of Styles Enterprise, Harry. Shouldn’t you at least have learned how to talk to others?”

_Ouch! Let him stop Niall! He’s burning your crush._

No let them. I want to see who wins this…

Harry chuckled lightly and rolled his eyes. “Well I didn’t think I’d ever talk to junkies, but if you really want a chat with me. Then why don’t you just go for it? Besides, you’ve got nothing to lose, now do you, Zayn _I’m poor_ Malik? Oh and just so you know it. I’m nothing like my dad.-“

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” Zayn interrupted. Harry was getting furious. I could tell. “Oh and by the way, I might add, yes I’m not rich, but I’m not a spoiled brad like you. Anyway, I’m not wasting my breath on you anymore,” Zayn said. “C’mon Niall. We need to talk,” Zayn tugged at my arms and dragged me to another room.

Once he closed the door behind him, he looked at me, a furious wave of fire dancing in his eyes. “He did this to you, didn’t he?” Zayn asked, pointing to my head.

“No! No of course he didn’t!” I defended Harry. “I told you. It was Louis,” I said, sounding a lot softer now.

“You don’t have to stick up for that spoiled piece of shit. I know he caused this. I’m going to beat the shit out of tha-“ he said as he was already clenching his hands, trying to walk back to Harry. I stopped him, by pulling him back by his wrist and holding him in front of me. Yes he was stronger, but he let me take a hold on him.

“No, please don’t. I’ll explain. Just. Just leave him. Please. You’re both fucking strong, but your anger won’t stop him from beating you up and you know it. He’s stronger and I don’t want my mates to get hurt, yeah? Please don’t do anything. I’ll explain. I promise!” he sighed and nodded, giving me the time to explain the whole story.

…

After I told him what happened he only looked worried. “You’re sure you’re okay? Shit Niall! Why didn’t you text me? Or called me? At least let me know when something happens! We’re friends you know. I’d skip my day to get you save home. Jesus!” he cursed sometimes.

“I’m alive. Don’t worry. Anyway, I should start cleaning. See you around and I promise to text you as soon as I can when I'm home. Okay?”

“Okay,” he sighed before walking out of the room. I went back to my cleaning stuff and started to clean up the place.

…

After a thick hour, I was calling my mom. She asked me where the hell I was since she wanted me to stay home for the day and to at least be home in time.

“No Ma. He doesn’t like me that way…” “No I wouldn’t have sex with him!” “Yeah I know, but-“ “Ma, no! Gross! By the way, I know how it works, you know?” “Uhm… Louis?” “Yeah yeah… hey you gave me my laptop for a reason.” “It’s a reason to me!” “Yeah whatever” “No, look, I don’t need this chat about having sex with a guy! I mean, damn I might be gay, but I’m not a sex-addict…” when I looked back up to the door, my eyes widened, and so did theirs… “I got to go,” I sat, before hanging up.

“I-I can expla-“

“You’re gay?!”

_Oh no…_


	20. Twenty

_“You’re gay?!”_

I looked around me to find just one thing that could might help me out here… When I realized there is nothing I can do, I sighed and looked down. “Please don’t hate me. Please.” I almost begged. She sighed and walked up to me.

“Niall, I could never hate you. You’re too lovable,” she smiled as she caressed my cheek softly. “But being gay is wrong, you get that right? It’s a disease,” she added, sounding serious.

“You can’t be serious now, can you?” she just kept looking at me, a serious expression on her face. “Nena, it’s not a disease! There are so many guys that are gay. I’m not the only one,” I tried to defend myself.

“See. It’s an apocalypse. It’s wrong Niall. Please listen to me and get help before it gets serious. I care about you, you hear me? I care about you and only want you to be healthy. Being gay isn’t healthy at all.” She hold my shoulders in her petite hands and smiled weakly at me. I just pulled back from her and took a step back.

“No. No! It’s not bad! How can you even think like that?” I asked in disbelieve. How can such a sweetheart think that being gay is a disease? We’re just normal people! We’re just like them! Only we just like the same gender!

“No Niall. It’s bad and you have to get rid of it. The sooner you’re normal again, the better it’ll get. I’m going now. Niall, you should get help,” she said before walking out, leaving me alone to silently cry a little bit.

It’s not that I’m that emotional from her. I mean, she’s just like those jocks from when I was younger. She’s just like them. Judging the ones that you don’t know. Judging the unknown. I mean I get that some people truly believe in God and that they think everything Jesus didn't say was wrong, really is wrong. But c’mon! In his time, being gay didn’t even exist! They still killed. They didn’t do things as having sex for pleasure or the bad side: R.A.P.E. Everything that happened those days, are different now. So why do people keep thinking that being gay is wrong if even Jesus could sleep around with guys?

I mean, Jesus was even before the Middle Ages. In those times rich guys could have girls AND boys in their bed, yet now it’s wrong to even love the same gender? People are crazy… Seriously…

…

A knock was placed on the door and I looked up from my –still- sitting position. I’ve been sitting like this for the past half an hour and yet I had some struggling with keeping my tears in. The door opened and some guys I didn’t know came in. They looked around my age. Maybe they’re still in high school or something… “Uh… Who are you people?” I asked, my voice almost cracking.

One of them, like… let’s say the ‘leader’ of the group, stepped in front of the little group of people that looked to be around the 5 people or something. “Oh, so little faggy can talk huh?” _Oh shit… no this can’t be happening._

“Wait, I know you guys…” I came to realize. Shit this can never be good.

He chuckled a bit and nudged his mate with his elbow. “You hear that? The fag still remembers me. Isn’t that cute? I bet he still wants my cock inside of him. Now don’t you, queer?” I whimpered a bit. Oh no, not again… please not all over again.

“I see you guys finished high school finally…” I mumbled, but not soft enough…

“What did you say, fag? Sorry I didn’t quite get that. Unless you want to be beaten up, I would fucking shut your mouth!” he said, laughing at his own threat.

The guy came closer up to me, and I felt like I was back in high school. In the gym's locker room when they always came to beat me up. I’m older now though, but that in my case, doesn’t mean I’m suddenly stronger or better in defending myself.

Once he was so close to me that I could feel his breath against my skin, I closed my eyes, ready for the impact that will be soon forming a bruise.

It didn’t took long till I felt a stinging pain to my cheek. “Oh sorry, I promised not to mess with your pretty face anymore,” he chuckled as another hit was given, but this time in my stomach, making me feel sick. Almost about to throw up, he hit me once again, but on the back of my head. That was my call to knock out…

…

“Hey big boy. Are you alright? You had a bad fall, darling,”  When my eyes opened, Nena was kneeled in front of me, her hands cupping my cheeks and a little, sad smile tugging at her glossy lips.

“What happened?” I asked, not really remembering a thing from what just happened.

“You fell darling. Some guys saw you lying on the floor. You probably hit your head to the table and passed out, but it’s okay. You were only gone for a few minutes, I guess. Can be longer, but the guys that saw you thought you probably fell just before they came by. So that must have been 10 minutes of you sleeping a bit. Are you feeling alright?” I nodded my head and slowly got up a bit more so I was in a sitting position.

She smiled at me and backed a little away. “Do you know where Harry is? Or maybe Zayn?” I asked out of the blue. I just needed someone to be comfortable with. Nena makes me just as uncomfortable as- _SHIT! I remember what happened!_

My eyes opened a little bit, but she didn’t really notice, where I’m glad for. “Uh… gosh Niall sorry I have no idea. I think Mr. Styles is still out for a run and Za-“

“Is right behind you guys. Tell me, what happened?” I heard Zayn’s voice and looked up. He looked worried, but smiled anyway.

“I have literally no idea. These boys came up to me, telling me that there was a guy that passed out, so I went to take a look, finding Niall unconscious. He’s only been out for about 10 minutes, but I was still a bit worried. Anyway, I think he fell and hit his head to the table, since he was lying right beside it,”

“Oh wow Mrs. Police Investigation, didn’t think of that!” Zayn was being sarcastic and rolled his eyes as he did. “Niall, are you alright? Should I drive you to the hospital for a check-up? You know, yesterday you hit your head and now again. Can’t be really healthy,” he added.

I shook my head and smiled as Nena pulled me up. “No, really I’m fine. Just a bit of a headache but that’s probably just because of the impact of the fall.” They both nodded and Nena smiled at me before walking out again.

…

I talked to Zayn for a few more minutes, till he had to head home.

“Call me if you need me or just a ride home yeah?” I nodded and smiled as he hugged me. “I’ll text you tonight to make sure you’re alright, kay?” I nodded again. He left and there I was again…

All lonely and left alone… Not that I could complain anyway. I like to be alone sometimes so I can think.

I’m still wondering how Danny and his gang found  me. I haven’t seen them in 2 year, maybe even longer? Why are they suddenly getting back at me? Once I remembered Danny, I knew what was coming anyway. So it’s not that I was surprised to be beaten to plump.

…

Nena and I were talking to each other, totally forgetting about the ‘ _me being gay’_ -thing, when Harry came back in. It was already getting darker, not really dark though. Just… darker. “Hey, Niall. Nena.” He said as he rested his arm over my back. He was sweaty and a bit panting from running I guess. He’s so hot fuck! I wish Nena would be gone so he could fuck me hard on the desk...

_Jesus Niall! Where is your innocence?!_

Long gone with my sanity, mate!

_You’re on drugs or something?_

No just tired of your shit.

_Ouch!_

“Mr. Styles! You’re looking so-“

“Thanks Nena. If you don’t mind now, I’d like to take Niall home. I’ll see you around I guess. You coming Niall?” he interrupted her. I nodded and walked along with him.

“Bye Nena! Was lovely seeing you again.”

“See you soon Niall!”

We walked out and got to his car. Once we were both inside of it, he turned on the car and waited for a few seconds before turning to me. “Hi,” he said.

I gave him a questioning look and answered. “Hey….?”

“How was your day at work?”

“Uhm. Great. Exhausting. Only cleaning and stuff.” _Smooth Niall… Very smooth… note the sarcasm please…_

“Niall stop lying. I know you know what happened and that it wasn’t just you falling and hitting your head now was it?”

“How did yo-“

“It’s not because Malik and I aren’t friends, that we can’t talk to each other like normal people do,” he said, leaving a little pause. He sighed softly before turning fully towards me. “Look why don’t you just tell me what happened? I’m worried sick about you Niall. Yesterday you hit your head and almost died. Now I hear that you passed out with no actual reason. Niall, I only know you a couple of days, and you’ve already got yourself almost killed twice!” he pinched the bridge of his nose and looked down for a second before looking back up. “Okay, please. Tell me what happened. For real. No one just falls and passes out. And by the looks of your lightly bruised face, you didn’t just pass,”

_He’s getting closer to the truth Niall! Tell him something! Do something! If he knows about you being too weak to even protect yourself from guys that are around your age, then he won’t ever like you! He will think of you as a weak, stupid problem. Which you are, but oh well.._

Shut up.

_Awh, are you gonna cry Niall? Little Nialler a bit angry?_

Shut up!

_Do you need your little bo-_

“I said shut up!” I almost yelled. My hands went to my temples as I felt my head spinning a bit. This is too much to take. My head pounds like hell and the voice in my mind doesn’t help at all!

When I looked up, I saw Harry looking at me curiously, worried and even a bit scared. He was shocked from my sudden outburst. Once he got himself back together, he placed a hand on my shoulder. “Are you alright? What just ha-“

I shook him off and opened the car door, trying to just escape everything for a second. I feel like I’m a bit bipolar right now. Even though I don’t even have it! It’s just … My feelings for Harry are so much stronger than my fear of Danny and his gang, yet if I tell Harry whatever happened, I feel like Danny wouldn’t just hit me…

Harry got out of the car and rushed to my side. He held me at arm length, trying to look at me to see whatever happened. He can’t see through me now. I can’t let him do that. “No. Please! Just leave me!” it was now the time that my tears found their way to the world. Falling down like a waterfall, I cried even harder when he pulled me in for a hug, holding me so tight. “No. Please. No,” I whispered. Instead of giving me what I want: space. He hold me even tighter.

“Shhhhh. I’m here. It’s okay…. It’s okay,” he whispered in my ear. Once I was almost out of tears, I pulled away a little and looked him in the eyes. “I’m here for you okay? C’mon. I’m taking you to mine,” I nodded and got back inside the car, him doing the same.

…

Harry had wrapped me up in a blanket and was sitting down next to me on the couch. It was complete silence, yet it wasn’t awkward. For me…

“You should call your mom or something. Tell her you stay at mine,” I nodded as I got my phone out and texted her, saying I’m staying at a friend’s. She immediately asked if it was Louis, so I had to be honest and say  that it was actually Harry. She did text me twice after, but I didn’t even open the messages. “Is your mom okay with it?”

“Yeah she is. Thanks, Harry,” I answered, smiling softly.

“It's nothing. I told you, I’m here for you. And I know that it’s maybe not the time to ask, again, but...” he kneeled down next to me on the ground this time and looked a bit up to me. “Please, Niall tell me. What happened?” And here he is again.

“You’re really a mood killer you know that?”

“It was silence.”

“I was totally fine with that.”

“Niall…”

I bit my lip and looked down at my hands. A soft sigh escaped my lips. “I hit myself alright?” I lied. He looked shocked, eyes full of worry.

“Niall-“

“No. Don’t say anything. It’s alright, yeah?” He nodded, but I could see he was annoyed with the fact he couldn’t say a thing. “Go ahead.” I finally said.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you do that? You know you can get yourself killed by doing stupid things like that right?” I don’t know what amuses me more. The fact that he believes it. Or the fact that he actually cares about me.

“I’m still here, aren’t I?”

“Niall don’t make this funny. I’m really worried.”

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Anyway, is it okay if we just watch something?” he nodded immediately and smiled.

He put some series on called: Supernatural and we both watched that for the rest of the night.

Once we were half way through the first season, I started to close my eyes, feeling my head lower a little bit till it came to rest somewhere. I felt Harry rest his arm around my shoulder and that’s when I felt safe. I felt so safe, that I didn’t even bother to try and stay awake. My mind drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

_See you tomorrow Harry._


	21. Twenty One

Turning around a little bit, I was shocked when I fell down on the ground. A loud thud was heard from my back hitting the cold floor and I bit my lip as hard as I could to not let out a –not all too manly- yelp. I got up and looked around to find myself still in the living room, in front of the big flat-screen TV. Everything was still the exact same, only one thing missed. _Harry._

When I heard some humming from somewhere random, I followed it and find Harry standing in the kitchen, humming a song as he was doing God knows what. He turned around and froze for a second before he smiled at me and went on with doing whatever he was doing, this time talking to me instead of humming a random song. “Good morning, Niall. How are you feeling?” he asked me as he put some eggs in a bowl.

“I’m alright. Still a bit of a headache, but that’ll vanish after a few minutes I guess,” he looked down at me, a bit worried, but nodded anyways. “So what are you doing so early in the morning?”

“Morning? It’s almost lunchtime, love. I must say, you sleep pretty deep. I think I broke like two glasses in one morning, yet you kept on snoring. I thought you would be awake when the day was already over,” he laughed softly.

I frowned, but shrugged which made him chuckle a bit. “I’m making some, well for you _breakfast_. You’re alright with some eggs and bacon? I’m not really the best cook in my family, but they all love it when I’m in the kitchen,” he said.

“Well, ever thought that there could be another reason to that?” I chuckled softly. He looked up from what he was doing and gave me an amused look.

“Now enlighten me, Niall. Because I obviously have no idea what else could be the reason,” he said.

“Maybe you’re less of a bother when you’re in the kitchen? My mom used to try that on me. Telling me to go and make some lunch or dinner or whatever in the kitchen so she could have some rest,” I ‘ _enlightened’_ him.

“She really told you that?”

“She’s my mom. I thought you already figured out she’s annoying? I mean… Ever heard our conversation? She just loves to embarrass me in front of… well everyone. Even when we’re alone we’re like that,” I said. He nodded, showing less emotions then before. Hmm… Did I say something wrong?

“Hey, what do you think of you going back, pick a movie and I’ll be there with food in a minute yeah?”

“Oh well now you’re just sounding like her. You just wanna get rid off of me, now don’t you?”

“Honestly? Yes. Now go,” he chuckled again, making little butterflies flying around in my stomach. Okay is it just me or did that sound even more girly than I already am?

I placed my lazy butt back on the couch and looked though the movies he had on Netflix. Once I found one of my favourite movies, I smiled to myself and already put it on, pausing it once it started to play so Harry wouldn’t miss any of it. 

He came back a little later with a plate full of eggs and bacon he placed it down on my lap and sat himself next to me, _really_ close. “So whi- Niall? Seriously? Beauty and the beast? It’s still morning!”

“Uh-uh-uh! No it’s almost lunchtime,” I winked a little at him which made him roll his eyes and chuckle. "Alright, but don’t you dare to ruin it by singing along. People who do that are so annoying,”

“Well, I chose it, so I’m going to sing along,” I said, sticking my tongue out.

He groaned and laughed a little before nodding.

We watched the movie, while I was eating the eggs, Harry stole sometimes my fork and ate some, but I couldn’t mind at all. Somewhere I feel like this is a way of… sort of kissing?

_You’re sick man!_

And we all ignore the bastard.

“You know what I don’t get? He loves her, yet he’s acting as if he doesn't care. I mean,  hello? You only have a few more months to get a girl to love you!” During the movie, Harry has talked more than he ever talked to me in the time we know each other…

“I couldn’t sing along, but you keep talking. That’s what I hate when watching a movie,” I said. He rolled his eyes and laughed softly.

“Sorry. It’s just a movie that needs more talking. Less singing,”

“You need less talking and more watching. If you can’t shut up, then go fix me something to drink in the kitchen!” I joked.

He placed a hand  over his heart and faked being hurt. “Oh! Now you just sound like your mother, Niall!”

“I know, she did learn me at least something,” he rolled his eyes and leaned a bit more against me, his head on my shoulder. FUCK! I feel like I’m finally the man somewhere.

_Don’t be so silly Niall. You’ll never be the man._

“Mind if I take a quick nap? I’m tired as hell actually. Sleeping on this couch is freaking hard. How can you even sleep like that on this thing?” he said. I looked down a bit, seeing him already with his eyes closed.

“I think I’m just special,” I chuckled softly, not wanting to move too much so he would still lie as comfortable as he needed to be.

“Very-“ he yawned, “special.”

I could feel my heart flutter and gosh, he’s so cute and sweet! How come I never met him before?! After a few seconds, he laid his head in my lap and slowly drifted away to dreamland, little puffs of air coming from his parted lips. “Have nice dreams, Harry,” I whispered, before going back to the movie.

Once the movie ended, and Harry was still sleeping, I got my phone from my pocket and started to go through my messages, which were more than I thought they would be.

**FROM: MOM :P**

**‘ _USE PROTECTION!’_**

**‘ _I’m serious Niall. No diseases! No just kidding. Love you have fun. Go get him tiger!’_**

I chuckled very softly at my mom’s messages, but luckily I was quiet enough for Harry not to wake up yet.

**FROM: ZAYN :)**

**_‘Hey, Niall! Told you I would check-up on you. How are you feeling? Xo’_ **

**_‘Niall? It’s been 10 minutes… I’m starting to worry actually…Xo’_ **

**_‘No kidding, Niall seriously. Even Louis doesn’t know where you are! Are you okay? Are you kidnapped?! Xo’_ **

**_‘GOSH! Answer me! Xo’_ **

**_‘I feel like I’m stalking you, but Niall if you’re kidnapped… then don’t send anything! Xo’_ **

**_‘Okay I just realized that was stupid. Xo’_ **

**_‘NIAAAAAAAAAAAALLLL!’_ **

**_‘Oh okay, no worries. Your mom told Louis you’re at Styles’ Xo’_ **

**_‘WAIT! I don’t trust him!’_ **

**_‘Niall did he kill you or something?!’_ **

Right now I got another text from him.

**_‘If you don’t answer, I’m going to murder that bastard!’_ **

**TO: ZAYN :)**

**‘ _Calm your dick mate! I’m totally fine. Sorry my phone was on silence and I didn’t feel it vibrate like… 20 times? I’m alright and like my mom told Lou, I’m at Harry’s. I uh… didn’t feel like going home and being along till 6 in the morning, so Harry asked me to stay. :) Xx_**

**_-Niall Horan’_ **

I waited a few seconds, but he was fast at responding me. I couldn’t even open my messages from Louis.

**FROM: ZAYN :)**

**‘ _OH GOD! You fucking scared the shit out of me! You dork! Don’t you dare to ever do that again, got it young one? I don’t trust that dude at all! He wants  something from you,_ _Nialler_ _. I feel like he does! Trust me Niall, don’t come too close. You might have a tiny crush on him, but really Niall. He’s up to no good! Xo’_**

**TO: ZAYN :)**

_**‘Hey! What the fuck? Why do you think that? Sure you guys may not be best of friends, but Harry’s a sweet guy! Xx** _

_**-Niall Horan’** _

**FROM: ZAYN :)**

_**‘Oh say that to the slut of England! Niall, I did my research and my ex slept with him a week ago. He’s just a slut! Ugh. How can you not see that? And then they say love blinds. Well by the looks of it, you will never be able to see. Open your fucking eyes before it’s too late! Xo’** _

**TO: ZAYN :)**

_**‘Shut up! He’s not! He’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever met in my life! Xx** _

_**-Niall Horan’** _

**FROM: ZAYN :)**

_**‘Ouch… And Niall, he’s not! That’s called acting. He just wants to wreck you! Play with your heart till he thinks it’s time to find another victim! You know Judette? She cried for weeks over him! Xo’** _

_**TO: ZAYN :)** _

_**‘Stop it! He’s not like that! You just don’t like him. I think I should stop talking to you for a while. Thought you weren’t like this, Zayn. I really made a mistake being our friend. Bye** _

_**-Niall Horan’** _

I locked my phone and sighed. He couldn’t be serious about this now could he? Harry isn’t like that! He’s sweet! He helped me! Multiple times, and we just know each other. He cares. Something I needed the most right now. My mom is mostly at work these days since one of the nurses got a baby and is now taking her break, so she has to work more. Harry’s at least here for me!

He’s sweet! Good looking! Cares! Is nice! Is funny! Is pretty wealthy, not that I care about that, but it’s the truth though. He’s just perfect!

_Maybe a bit too perfect…_

No. He’s great. Don’t try and make me think like Zayn. Harry’s good.

And I’m going to keep telling myself that as long as I can.

Because I know that he isn’t like that.

Zayn just doesn’t like Harry. That’s why he tells me this. He’s just lying! This is all a joke!

_At least… I hope it is…_


	22. Twenty Two

Harry was slowly waking up, looking still a bit tired. He looked up at me and smiled. "Hi," he said, his voice rough and sexy. His eyes were deeper green and his lips were lightly plumper than before. "You stayed like this the whole time?" he asked. I nodded and smiled a bit down, because he was lying in my lap. "You didn't have to do that. You could've just left me alone and at least do something," he looked at me as if to say that I was crazy for not leaving him be. 

"I texted Zayn and read my mom's texts. I mean, not to sound lazy, but really, I enjoyed myself by just texting and being a bit lazy. Oh by the way, you snore," he laughed and faked to be hurt. 

"I do not!"

"Yes you do! You snore freaking bad! Even Satan doesn't snore as loud as you," to be very honest, Harry doesn't snore at all! He only let these little puffs slip out of his mouth which I think is the cutest ever.

"You liar! I see it in your eyes! I do not snore at all!" I laughed a bit but nodded. 

"Yeah you don't. But you do move a lot. And you let these little puffs of air slip out of your mouth when you sleep. It's actually quite cute," I admitted. 

His cheeks reddened a little bit, just a tiny, little bit. Barely noticeable. "Awe! You think I'm cute!" he teased, pretending to be innocent and ashamed by covering the half of his face with his hands. 

"Of course, it's not that you're a grown up man, huh?" I laughed and he did the same. It still bugged me, what Zayn said. i mean, sure there is a change that he just said it because he doesn't like me being friends with Harry, but... Zayn isn't like that, now is he? 

_No he isn't! He's your friend Niall! He wouldn't lie to you about something like that!_

So you think it's true?

_There is only one way to find out, right?_

I was already hoping you wouldn't say that...

"H-Harry... May I ask you something?"

he grinned but nodded anyway. Seriously he looks like he's drunk... might wanna ask this when he's like this... "W-Well... it's uh.. about... you know... that thing people do when they love each other..." he laughed and nodded.

"You mean sex?" I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks as i slowly nodded. "Course you can ask. As long as you don't ask me to fuck you now, because my couch is clean, like to keep it that way," he joked, winking at me. I chuckled softly and looked down at my hands. 

 "No, wasn't really going to ask that. But nice to know that if we'd ever do it, we wouldn't do it on your couch," he laughed pretty loudly, probably thinking this was all a joke...

"Nah, if I'm really needy, I would even take you here," he winked, making me blush crimson red. "Anyway, ask what you were about to ask me," he said. 

I nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay well... uh... I was wondering uhm... How often did you uhm..." his eyes opened a bit and his lips parted, an amused look on his face told me that it wasn't inappropriate to ask, but that it was in fact weird. 

"Niall Horan. How can such an innocent guy ask me such a dirty question?" he laughed "But I don't date Niall, if that's what you basically mean. I don't do the dating thing. I fuck around. When I need it, or want it of course, but why do you ask?" 

I must have looked red from embarrassment. "Well, I was just curious I guess?" he shook his head and chuckled. With a content smile, he let his head rest in my lap and smiled up at me. 

"Yeah well now you know my lifestyle. What about you? Got a girlfriend?" I shook my head, this time I couldn't look away, because Harry was lying there. "Awe, well mate. I'm sure that if you'd ask a girl out, they would be thrilled to go with you. Really. I mean you're good looking. You're cute as a puppy. You're sweet and nice. Niall, if you train some abs, girls will be coming to you instead of you going to girls. You got everything with you. Really! Have you ever tried it?"

"Tried what? Sex?"

He laughed and shook his head. "No, I mean, yes that too, but I was talking about the dating and getting girls, actually. I mean, what kind of guy never fucked before? Is that even a question?" he chuckled again. Oh wow... so he thinks I have experiences? 

"I uh... never dated... and uh... I didn't do that other thing either... to be completely honest with you," his eyes opened a bit and he sat himself right up. 

"You never had sex before? You're what? 22?"

"20," 

"Whatever. And you never had sex before? You have no idea what you're missing by not having sex-experiences! Niall I swear to God! it's the best thing in life! There is nothing better than sex!" 

"Okay, nice to know. Right now I's prefer to stop about this subject, thanks," he laughed and nodded. 

"Okay, sorry for making this so awkward for you. Remember, you asked. You started. Not my fault. Anyway, let's do something! We could go swimming! It's  one of the best sports in life. You use every muscle in your body, so you actually will get well build if you just swim a lot! And it's nice. The water makes you feel like you're flying," he smiled. Oh shit... Should I tell him that I can't swim? "C'mon!"

"Uh, I don't have anything to wear in the water you know?"

"Use one of mine, will be maybe a bit bigger, but you can just tighten it around your waist, yeah?" I let a little sigh escape my mouth and eventually got along with him. 

We drove to the public swimming pool and got changed before going to the water. 

Well this is going to be interesting...


	23. Twenty Three

Harry was already changed and was waiting for me to be ready, too. It took me some time, but after looking at myself in the mirror, I found myself wrapping a towel around my body and unlocking the door to go to Harry. Once I came out, his head snapped up from his phone and he smiled brightly at me. A locker was open, with some cloths and such in it, probably Harry's. "Well, look at you. You're still alive!" I rolled my eyes and nodded. His hand grabbed my stuff and laid them on top of his. "That's called, saving money out," he laughed. I nodded again and smiled. 

We both walked to the pool, my eyes glued to his body that was just so freaking sexy and all mine to look at. Some other people around here were staring at him, too, and I did feel jealous, but hey? If I didn't know him, I would stare too. Hell I'm even staring now! But, how can you not stare at the beauty in front of you? That ass freaking sexy in those tight swimming trunks.

_Oh my Niall stop it!_

Once we arrived to the water, I felt myself tense up and my heartbeat quicken. Oh no... This is really happening, isn't it?

_Any last words, Niall?_

God, safe me from the water and don't let me die just yet. 

Here we go! 

Harry smiled at me, before throwing his towel to a bench and jumping in the water, splashing a bit. I covered my face from the cold drops to land on me. Once he came back up, his hair all wet and sexy, he smiled at me and waited for me to come in. "Oh c'mon Niall! It's warmer once you're in it. Don't chicken out on me now!" I fake chuckled a bit and nodded.

With my towel still on, I sat down on the edge of the pool and let my feet in the water, swaying them a bit like a little child. Harry came up to me and looked up, meeting my eyes halfway. "It's nice," I said awkwardly. He rolled his eyes and chuckled. 

"Are you coming in, or should I help you a little?"  _oh please don't. Really!_ "Are you okay? You're looking a bit pale..." he said. I just shook my head shortly and smiled. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just..." Should I tell him I can't swim?

_And ruin his day? You'll sound like a baby. Harry doesn't seem to like babies, Niall!_

You're probably right about that, but I don't really like the fact of me drowning today...

_You're going to shut your mouth and get in, got it? You can probably stand here! Why are you so worried about it?_

"C-Can you stand here?" I found myself asking. He had a confused look on his face but smiled.

"Nope. You can't stand here because a lot of people dive in here. So they made it pretty deep. Otherwise everyone would hit their heads when diving, right?" he chuckled. It was also now that I could see him swimming the whole time, moving his legs so he won't drown himself. 

"Oh, well then I think I'm going to stay o-" before I could say any other word, Harry had already pulled me in the water. 

From the shock, my legs started to kick a bit. My arms trying to get me to the surface for air. Oh I swear to God! I wish I learned how to swim! When I felt the air leaving my lungs and not returning in them, my head began to hurt a bit. My eyes started to hurt from the water that was hitting them. 

I felt myself being pulled up after what felt like hours and once I felt air hitting my face, I gaped for air. Good Heavens in Hell with Satan dancing with the angels! I'm still alive! Harry helped me up the edge of the pool again and panted a bit, just like me. "You do realize you have to come back up for air right?" he asked, sounding a bit annoyed. I felt so bad for having him saving me. Again... "I seriously start to think you want to die or something. These actions of yours are so dangerous. Running till you can't anymore and pass. Hitting yourself making you pass again. And now drowning yourself. God, Niall what's next? You know I can't be there every second you do something stupid right?"

_He thinks you're depending on him. He thinks he's the one that needs to safe you._

"I-I'm sorry," I apologized. He let out one last breath before coming closer to me, his hands on my knees and my towel half in the water between us. It probably fell on the edge of the pool before Harry pulled me in. 

"I want you to tell me whenever you're tired or just not in the mood to do a thing. Now before we keep in the diving pool, be honest with me. Can you swim?" I looked down at my hands, ignoring the fact that Harry was inches away from them. "Niall?" 

I shook my head and looked down a bit more. Feeling embarrassed with myself for not being able to do something all kids can do. I mean, I never had a problem with cycling, yet here I am. The 20-years-old guy that can't even swim... I feel so embarrassed. So ashamed with myself. 

"Hey, that's okay. Why didn't you tell me this before we came here? Or maybe at least before I pulled you in? If you don't communicate with me, I can't know what you like and what not. I can't feel it when you're scared or don't like something. I don't know what you're able to do and what not," he said. I nodded again and felt like dying right here, right now. 

_He shouldn't like a loser like you._

__You're so worthless. Look at you._ _

__Your body is ugly as hell, even when you cover it up like you're doing right now._ _

__Your face is messed up. Might ask Danny and his gang to make you look a bit prettier._ _

__Your talentless._ _

_You're so fucking stupid, I'm wondering if your brain didn't leave you yet?_

_I mean why would Harry stay with you, if even flies would just fly away?_

Please just leave me alone!

_"_ Now what would you think of going with me to a pool that isn't as deep? Where you can stand? Yeah? Would you like that?" I nodded and he smiled. "Kay, let's go then and have a nice time."

_Yeah I wish I could say the same..._

_…_

“Oh come on Niall! Just try it. I’ll be right here if anything goes wrong, besides, you can’t drown here. C’mon! Just try! It’s fun, I promise!” Harry was trying to get me to swim the whole time we were here. I have no idea how late it is, not how long he’s already trying to get me to at least try and swim, but actually, I don’t even mind. I’m here with him and he held me every time I couldn’t stand, and when he wanted me to swim.

“But last time you weren’t paying attention!”

“And I’m truly sorry about that. Now please, try. I’m holding you anyway, just try yeah? I know you can swim. Just give it time. Otherwise I’m going to buy you one of those baby-bands and you can learn how to swim with those,” I groaned and rolled my eyes. My fingers were already starting to feel rough like a little granddad.

“But I’m cold!”

“Stop whining, little kid. If you can swim from here to the end, we’ll go and I take you home, yeah?”

“That’s just unfair. You know I can’t ever get there without using my legs.”

“You have to use your legs, idiot. Just not walking. Swim.”

“You know, Harry?” he looked a bit down at me, since he’s taller than me, “I'm really starting to hate you.” He laughed and shook his head.

“Love you too, buddy. Now get to the end!”

“What if I drown just in the part where I can’t stand huh?”

“Then I’ll save you,”

“What if you don’t?”

“Then I’ll hid your body in the woods and tell your mom you moved to the Netherlands, yeah? Now hup! Or I’ll make you go,” he said, smirking a bit.

“You’re so mean.”

“And you love it.” Oh you have no idea!

I took some steps forward, feeling the water going higher up my chest. Turning back around, I saw Harry giving me a cold look as if telling me to get there without using words. “If I was you, I’d already head to the part where I can’t stand, or I won’t survive this.” he laughed and shook his head, swimming past me and waiting for me to follow. Really… I’m starting to hate him…

“I’m ready here, so c’mon,” I rolled my eyes again and nodded. With a last pray to God, I started to slowly ‘lie’ in the water as I was trying to swim, looking mostly like a dog, if I’m being honest… “Great, c’mon. You’re close to me.” How can he be this cute when he’s playing with my life?!

When I reached him, I was already happy I didn’t die that short piece. My head dipped a bit under, and when I came back up, the first thing I did, was clinging myself to Harry’s chest. He just chuckled and swam –with me attached to him- to the other end of the pool. “You’re lucky you’re not all to heavy,” he chuckled softly as we got out. I rolled my eyes and quickly grabbed my towel, to wrap all around me. I wasn’t only cold as shit, but I still don’t want him to see my body. Luckily he didn’t in the water and he didn’t pay attention to it anyway, so I’m happy he still hasn’t really seen me. Would be awkward as hell…

…

“Then I see you back on Monday?” he asked. I nodded, a bit disappointed that I won’t see him a whole weekend. I mean, it’s not like we’re married, but I’m just… I just love to be close to him… He must have noticed I was looking down a bit, because he placed his hand on my knee, making me look back up. “Or if you wanna hang out with me tomorrow or so? I mean, it’s not that I have anything to do really, except well yeah, I have to go to dinner with my mom tomorrow evening. But after that I’m free and also before it,” he said, laughing a little bit.

“Yeah, would be nice,”

“Kay great. Then I think I see you tomorrow. This time, you can choose what we do, because every time I suggest something, you end up risking your life,” I fake chuckled as he did the same. “See you tomorrow, Niall.” I nodded and smiled before getting out of his car, the cold air hitting me and my wet hair making it even colder.

I quickly jogged inside and closed the door behind me. My shoes and jacket were thrown somewhere, I couldn’t care less right now and I made my way to the kitchen. Once I walked into the living room to actually get to the kitchen, my eyes almost popped out and I could feel my blood not only boil from anger, but also go through my whole body, making me sweaty a bit.

“How the fuck did you get in here?”

He smirked and stood up, coming closer to me, whispering in my ear: “Didn’t miss me, princess?”

I gulped and swallowed thickly.

_Oh fuck… Here we go again…._


	24. Twenty Four

_I quickly jogged inside and closed the door behind me. My shoes and jacket were thrown somewhere, I couldn’t care less right now and I made my way to the kitchen. Once I walked into the living room to actually get to the kitchen, my eyes almost popped out and I could feel my blood not only boil from anger, but also go through my whole body, making me sweat a bit._

_“How the fuck did you get in here?”_

_He smirked and stood up, coming closer to me, whispering in my ear: “Didn’t miss me, princess?”_

I gulped and swallowed thickly.

“W-Why are you h-here?” I asked, trying to ignore the fact that Danny was here and was standing way too close for me to even breath normally.

“Now, princess. Thought you’d like to see me here. I didn’t come all the way to be thrown out,” he still whispered in my ear. He walked around me so he was standing behind me, making me so uncomfortable. I reached out for my phone, but couldn’t find him in either of my pockets. FUCK! Must have fell out of my pocket when I was walking or in the car… “Tsk, Tsk, Tsk. Niall, Niall, Niall. You know, after such a long time, I would at least expect you to become a little bit smarter. You’re lucky you couldn’t find your phone… Wouldn’t want to hurt my pretty princess, now would I?” I quickly shook my head, scared for what would happen if I didn’t answer. “Now, won’t you show me around a bit? Would expect you to be a bit more polite. Don’t you want me to offer something to drink?” With my heart beating faster and faster, I nodded my head a little bit. “Thought so,” he said contently. He walked back in front of me and made me look at him, his thumb and index finger on my chin. “So faggy. Had some cock up your ass today? You seemed to be happy before you saw me,” he said.

I took a step back from him, almost glaring. “Not to be rude, but that’s none of your business, now is it?”

You’re planning your funeral already, kid?

Have a big mouth against this asshole, please yes, thank you.

“Well, Niall. If I was you, I wouldn’t open my mouth as big as you always do. It could lead to very bad things sometimes. What if some jock doesn’t like you? I think you should learn a lesson of not being rude,” my eyes widened a bit, just at the same time I felt a hard punch in my stomach, making me fall on my knees as I held my stomach. “Oh, oops?” he said. More punches and kicks followed, till the bell rang, making Danny jump up. “Shit! You didn’t tell me you were expecting company. You’re going to pay for that later, princess. See you next time,” before I knew it, he went to the back of my house, –the kitchen- went through the door and slammed it shut before I could even look up properly.

With a groan, I got up from the floor, still holding on my stomach and went to answer the door. Probably Louis or something. Luckily, he will think I’m just sick and take care of me. I really need that now. Mom isn’t coming home till tomorrow morning 6am. She’s going to take the day of tomorrow and relax some, probably going out with her new love- oh fuck, dinner tomorrow night…

I finally reached the door and opened it, feeling so freaking dizzy. Without even really looking who it was, my body decided to fall against the person, hoping he or she would be strong enough to hold me up. “Ho, there. You alright?” Oh you must be kidding me! C’mon! “Okay buddy. You’re looking sick. How can you get sick within this and a few minutes? Anyway, I’m glad I found out you left your phone in my car. Well, let’s get you in bed or somewhere you can lay down and I’ll make some tea. Would love to make some soup for you, sadly.. like you already know, I’m not the best cook.” He isn’t going to shut up, now is he? Gosh, he can talk!

He made me get up straight on my feet, before taking me back inside, closing the door with his foot. “You don’t have to do this,” I said, wincing a bit as I felt pain going back in my stomach.

“Nope, I don’t. But I will. Now, I’m taking you to bed, which should be upstairs, I guess at least. Mind telling me where?” I nodded as I took the first step on the staircase. I must say, I was surprised as I felt a hand under my bum and another on my back, lifting me up. When I looked up, I saw Harry basically carrying me. “This way you’re up before it’s midnight,” he joked. Without responding, I let myself lie against his chest, holding on my stomach just as tight as I could, to try and make the pain go away.

Once we came into my room, he laid me on my bed and made sure I was okay. See, Zayn was so wrong. He’s a sweet guy. Fuck, he’s too good to be real!

He placed his sexy, pretty round bum on my bed, next to the side of my body and looked down at me. “What happened?” he asked. Yeah… as if I’m going to tell you Danny found out where I live and was beating the shit out of me just a second before you rang the bell...

“Probably ate something wrong,” I lamely answered. Hey? I’m in pain, I can’t think of a good excuse when I’m in pain. Have some respect will you?

“What did you eat? I mean, what can make you so sick in such a short time?” He knows something's up.  He’s up to it. He’s gonna find out, freaking make something up before he knows what’s happening and thinks of you as a low pussy, which you are! But anyway, it’s better to not have him knowing shit.

“I uh… Oh well, must have been a late respond to my breakfast,”

He frowned and cocked his head to the side. “But… You ate the same as me, idiot. And I’m not sick at all.”

“Can still come. Would be careful. Maybe drive home before you can’t anymore.” Great, Niall. You sound like you want to get rid off of him! “Sorry, didn’t mean to sound like I want you out. I don’t even want that.” _And now you’re sounding desperate…_

Oh shut up, you!

“It’s okay. But I won’t leave you till I’m sure you’re okay. You really worry me, Niall. Anyway, swimming and eating is never a great idea… Although… you didn’t ate like, right before swimming… Ugh I give up, won’t ever understand it,” he said, laughing softly. “I’d ask you if you need something, but if you already know I could possibly break something, then don’t ask for anything,” he laughed again. I tried to chuckle, but that hurt a bit.

“It’s okay. Don’t need shit.” He nodded and stood up. For a second I thought he was going to leave me, but once I saw he walked to the other side of the bed, I smiled to myself. He was going to lie with me. That made my heart flutter.

“So, wanna sleep or talk?” I’m not tired at all, but I have no idea what to talk about. Until now, the only conversations we had were about me getting hurt and all, and about sex… And to be very honest, no I do not want those conversations back… At all. So I fake yawned and turned to my side a bit. “You’re tired, go to sleep. Depends on how late, but I’m pretty sure I will be there when you wake up, so close your eyes and sleep.” I nodded and closed my eyes. Once I did that, I felt myself being pulled up and laid onto something not as soft as my pillow, but something more comfortable. I could hear a heartbeat and felt my head going up and down a little bit, signing that I was lying on Harry’s chest again. An arm was wrapped around my shoulder and I must say, I’ve never felt so protected and safe in my whole life… “Have a nice nap, yeah?” he whispered.

I slowly drifted off, feeling sleep taking over me.

…

_“Now your pretty little boyfriend can’t protect you anymore, huh? No, he can’t. You’re all mine to beat to plump. I’m going to make some nice carpet of you, wouldn’t that be lovely?” My eyes started to water at the sight of Danny and his gang, laughing at me as I was lying down on the ground, clothes ripped and full of mud and dirt._

_A kick was placed in my side, and another one to my leg, making me cry out in pain. “Aw, boys look at him. He’s in pain. Maybe we should get his boyfriend to help him? Make him ease the pain?” Danny mocked._

_“No, we should let him give the little mermaid some kicks, too. Don’t think anyone would say no to that, well except the other fag, but that’s just because he infected him with his disease,” another one said, someone I don’t even recognize from school. He was one of them when they first saw me again in the gym, but I don’t know his name…_

_“Well, isn’t that just the best idea ever?” Danny said surprised. “You hear that faggy?” he turned back towards me. “Let’s make your little boyfriend have his way with you.” He laughed bitterly and got out of the way._

_Once I looked back up, I saw Harry standing in front of me, a bit smirk on his face, evil flames dancing in his eyes as he looked down at me. I shook my head, trying to not believe this. Zayn is right. He isn’t trustable. He’s evil. “No, No! Harry please don’t!”_

_“I’m sorry, Niall. But these are my people. Our kind just… don’t fit. I thought I told you that before huh? You’re so naïve Niall. Really believing me when I said we could be friends,” he laughed. He kneeled down a bit, so he was closer to my face. “We would never be friends. You’re a loser. A loner. You should die and even if you would, no one would care. Your mom would be happy, not having to work so much, just to buy you stuff and food and all. And your friend, uh, Louis? Oh well he would be happy, finally such a waste of space out of the world. Zayn? Me and him could maybe be friends, because, you know? He is my kind of people. You’re so pathetic, and I’m going to make you regret ever being born.” Before I could even think, a kick was placed in my stomach. Another one quickly followed, with me crying out._

_“Oh, Niall. You have no idea how great this is. Seeing you all bloody and hurt,”_

_“Yeah, fag!”_

_“Get him, Styles!”_

_“H-Harry, p-please stop!” I cried out. But he wouldn’t._

_“Niall.”_

“Niall? Hey, Niall!” my eyes shot open and my longs finally got some air in them. “Shhhh. It was just a dream. Just a dream,” I was brought in Harry’s lap and pressed firmly against his chest.

Little flashbacks to my dream, made me pull away and almost rushing to the other side of the bed, facing Harry with wet eyes. His confused look told me that he was shocked with my actions. I couldn’t help but felt so unsafe suddenly. He reached a hand out, but I just tried to get even further from him. “No. Don’t touch me!” I wish I was just alone right now. Or with my mom.

“Niall, calm down. I won’t hurt you. It was all just a dream. I wouldn’t ever hurt you,” he said, but I still felt so unsafe. I looked into his eyes. They looked hurt, sad and mostly scared, not really knowing what to do. And now I felt bad… Hesitating a bit, I got back on my spot, to be immediately greeted with Harry’s strong and muscular arms, pulling me a bit closer again. I felt like such a twink! He’s like… ugh so freaking sexy with his abs and all and here I am muscle-less and all white and just… I’m just a twink!  “Might wanna tell me about your dream? It always helps. I mean, at least it helped me if I had a bad dream. Gemma would always ask me about it and after I told her, I always thought that I was such a child for being scared about such a stupid dream. So it might helps you, too.” He looked down at me, sending me a cute and pretty sad smile.

“I-I don’t think it works,” I said, not wanting to let him know I’ve been beaten up in my life.

“It always works. Besides, I want to know why you suddenly looked like I was about to murder you. Like I said, I would be here till you wake up, just didn’t expect that to be at…” he looked at his phone and groaned a bit. “2am.” Did I sleep till 2 in the fucking morning?! Oh fuck!

“Why are you still here?”

“Fell asleep. Sorry, hope you don’t mind. I was texting, but my eyes started to hurt, so I thought let’s just close them for a second, but didn’t expect to fall asleep,” he explained. I nodded and laid my head back on his chest, even though his chest was now almost right up, from him being in a sitting position. “So tell me, did I try to murder you in your dream?” he asked, not minding at all that I was lying on him. I just nodded, not really knowing what to use as excuse else… “Awe, well I would never kill you. I mean, I would never kill anyone, but if I do, then there would be a reason for. And before you pull away again and look at me like as if I just killed your mom, I would never find a reason to kill you. So stop worrying and try to tell me what happened.”

“I forgot.”

“You did?” he sounded surprised. Of course I didn’t idiot!

“Yeah I did. Totally vanished out of my mind. Let’s go to sleep again, I’m tired.” He answered a quiet ‘yeah’ and laid back on his back.

His hand went through my fake blonde hair a few times, making me feel loved for once, but it soon stopped as his hand went down my cheek and onto my back where it stayed. “Good night.”

“Don’t let the bedbugs bite.”

He chuckled softly. “Yeah, well, sleep tight. I’ll be here if you have another bad dream, yeah?”

“Thanks.” Was all I could say before I yawned.

“Anytime.”

I felt myself drifting back to sleep, this time hoping to have a nice dream.

_And boy oh boy, was it nice…_


	25. Twenty Five

“RISE AND SHI- Oh hi, random dude in my best mates bed.” My eyes shot open right when I heard Louis voice.

_Shit!_

“Louis! Shush go!” I whisper-yelled. Harry was luckily still asleep, even though I have no idea for how long that will be. Knowing Louis, he’s always _too_ loud. People can’t sleep when he’s around, his voice isn’t only pretty loud, but he’s just always loud in general.

“Oh, was my little baby a bit naughty last night? You did use a condom right?”

“Lou! Please! Can we talk about this later? Or at least outside?” I still whisper-yelled.

“Oh yeah, don’t want your fuck buddy to wake up, I get it, I get it. He must be tired from doing you. I knew you were just a beast in bed!” he never lowered his voice, which I hate!

I felt Harry move a little bit, signing that he was waking up. I jumped out of bed and pushed Louis out of my room and down the stairs. “Go out and I promise to explain everything later yeah?”

“Hey, I just notice…” He stopped me from pushing him out. “You’re still in your clothes. You serious Niall? You had a guy in your bed for one night, and you don’t even fuck? What are you? God? Jesus? A saint? You know you’re no priest, you can fuck before marriage.”

“And you can shut up and leave my house before Harry wakes up and-“

“IS THAT HARRY?!” He rushed back up the stairs and probably in my room.

“Louis, no! Lou!”

I rushed behind him, and almost tripped when I ran past my own door. With a lot of struggle, I ended up in my own room, seeing Harry awake and Louis on top of his legs, studying his face as if he’s an experiment… A creature that hasn’t been showed to the world yet. I sighed and leaned against the doorframe. Harry looked for a quick second to me and back to Louis. “Met your friend here. Is he always like this?” he asked.

“Sadly, the answer is yes. But you'll get used to it after…. 21 years…”

“Aren’t you twenty?”

“That’s what I’m talking about…” Harry chuckled and pushed Louis half off of him.

“You know, you’re quite heavy.” Louis fake gasped and sat his fat ass down on Harry’s legs.

“Excuse you? I’m most definitely not heavy. Cute? Yes. Adorable? Of course! Perfect? Duh. But heavy? Na-ah!”

“You sound like a high school girl.”

“Well maybe I am. Mr. Pretty Green Eyes. Maybe I’m just undercover? Huh? You know nothing about me.”

“Aren’t you Louis? Like, the gay dude that’s quite annoying, yet Niall’s best friend?” Louis shot his eyes to me and glued them on me for a second.

“You told a random stranger about me being lovely and at least myself?! I thought you would at least let me say that! I mean, look at this gorgeous man! At least have some respect for me to introduce myself, yeah?” I rolled my eyes at this drama queen in front of me and put my hands up in defeat.

“I’m sorry that you’re just my best friend! But it’s okay! I got it! I will never give some cute guy your number anymore… phuh!”

“YOU GAVE SOMEONE MY NUMBER?!” I nodded, smiling fondly. I did indeed, he was cute, just not my type… “WAS HE CUTE?!”

“Please make him shut up. I’m still not awake.” Harry looked like he was going to die from Louis’ loudness.

“Louis, shut up, go downstairs, get yourself some tea and we’ll talk later, yeah?” Louis just rolled his eyes, but followed my instructions like a dog. “You’re such a good boy,” I said, padding his head as he passed me. Glaring one last time, he walked downstairs and a few seconds later, I could hear the him warming up some water and out television starting to play.

“Nice kid.”

“You’re for real?”

“Nah, was trying to sound nice. He’s damn weird,” he laughed.

“Well, he’s great. I love him as a brother you know? He’s there for me, always. And I know he will be there  for the rest of our lives,” I said, sounding pretty deep and sentimental.

“You sound like you’re both married.” He laughed softly at his own comment.

“Well you sound annoying. If I was you, I would most definitely tell him he looks pretty or whatever you say to a girl to make her happy, because he didn’t look like he likes you…”

“Don’t need him to like me either,” he said while he let himself fall back on the pillow, hands behind his head. “Besides, I would sound gay telling a guy he’s pretty, wouldn’t I?”

“No, when Lou’s upset I always tell him he’s pretty. Makes him happy you know? Anyway, I’m heading downstairs for a second. You can stay here, can go down, can go home, not that I really care.” _Can you sound even more rude? At least let him know you care about him. He took care of you, he helped you calming down after your nightmare. Freaking Jesus in Hell! You should be at his feet right now!_

“Oh, uh yeah. I’ll uh… I’ll go home. Won’t be needed to see you today as well.” _Great you made him leave!_

Harry didn’t look all to happy. He looked even… a bit sad. As if he wanted me to say something else...

_You’re crazy. Niall don’t make it sound like he likes you, because he definitely doesn’t._

You’re probably right…

“Uh, y-yeah. I-I uh… See you a-around?” He nodded before passing me and walking down stairs. Without another word  being said, he walked out and slammed the door shut, making me jump up a little.

With a loud sigh, I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. Louis and my mom were talking, sipping on some tea. They both looked up as they saw me and smiled, I faked a smile back, but everyone who knows me a little bit should see it was fake as hell. “Hey baby. You weren’t at dinner last evening. Again…” _Dang! Forgot it… all over again.._

“I’m so so sorry Ma! I totally forgot. I fell asleep and Harry, too and he didn-“

“Wait, you’re saying a guy stayed over night?” she interrupted me.

“Yeah, bu-“

“He’s so hot, Mrs. Horan! I swear, he looks like a Greek God or something!” Mom smiled a bit when Louis said that, but her serious look came back once she realized something.

“Still,  I would like to know when my baby is bringing people over, yeah? I never even met this Ha-Wait. Was it _The Harry?”_ She suddenly asked. Oh true… I told her about him…

“Yeah, bu-“

“Oh, Niall I’m so happy for you! Are two something?”

“No! Ma! Gosh. We’re just friends.” She nodded and smiled before letting her hand go through my hair.

“I’m happy you’re already friends. Who knows what can come from here on?”

“Yeah… So Ma, since I was with Harry, does that mean I’m not in trouble for not being at dinner…?” I tried.

She smiled and padded my head. “Nice try. No. You aren’t going outside the house for seven days,” she said “That means a whole week. And no one is coming in either. Louis, as much as I love you, this rule is for you, too. Go and hang a bit around that Zayn guy. He seemed to be lovely,”

“But Ma!”

“But Mrs. Horan!” we both said at the same time. Louis laughed a bit and mom followed, but I don’t really think this was all too funny.

“Look hunny, if you’re a good boy, I might change my mind and give you less days, but I already asked you to have a nice dinner with me, my boyfriend and his son and daughter. I’d love to just let you go and have your way with your crush, but I’m getting a bit tired of you not being at dinner, so please, listen to your mother and tell Harry you’re not able to do anything for… 5 days. That’s already two less. If you’re a real good boy, I might change it…”

“You’re so unfair at some point!” I have no idea where that came from, but it just slipped out of my mouth.

“Two weeks. Lou hunny, you’re welcome the next week, but for now it’s better if you leave. I’ll see you next Monday okay?” Louis nodded and walked outside after hugging me and saying his goodbye. “And for you, I’d be a lot more nice towards your mother, or you get more grounding than I was about to give you. Got it?”

_Gosh you’re grumpy today!_ I thought… it’s better if I don’t say that out loud.

Without another word being said, I rushed up the stairs and got my phone from the nightstand.

**TO: HARRY ♥**

**‘ _Hey, I’m really sorry, can’t see you for the next two weeks… :( Xx_**

**_-Niall Horan’_ **

It didn’t took him long to respond.

**FROM: HARRY ♥**

**‘ _What? Why?’_**

**TO: HARRY ♥**

**‘ _I’m grounded…. Normally my mom and I would have dinner with a guy she’s dating and his kids, unfortunately, i forgot about this already the whole week… so today she got mad and told me I was grounded. Of course I opened my mouth, but she got even more mad. Conclusion: I got grounded for 5 days, and now it are two weeks… Xx_**

**_-Niall Horan’_ **

**FROM: HARRY ♥**

**_‘Ah, that’s shit mate. Don’t worry, I’ll just run in those days and after you’re free again, we’ll start real training, yeah?’_ **

I nodded, but realized he wouldn’t be able to see that, so I quickly typed an okay back.

…

We texted and texted and texted even more, and a whole week passed. Louis was now able to come by again, but at Wednesday, he told me he couldn’t. He had this date with a guy… uhm… Luke? Puke? I have no idea, it was something like that.

I was still grounded, and because I once snapped back at my mom, I got two days extra. But it wasn’t that hard.

Harry had been running a lot lately. Each time I texted, he only texted back some time later and told me he was running so he couldn’t answer. I must say, it sounds so sexy, yet I think he’s running a bit too much…

…

It was Wednesday, today and Louis couldn’t come by. So here I was again, in my room, lonely. Mom had to work and told me if I dared to go outside and she find out, I’m dead…

She has been grumpy the whole two weeks, but it was getting better. The closer I got to being free again, the happier and nicer she was. Sunday night, the evening I’ll be free again, was the one she planned for the last time a dinner for her, me, her husband and his kids. I’m pretty nervous, because well yeah… He has a son, around my age and this little girl that’s only three… I wanted to ask my mom if Ariel could come and play with the little girl, but she said that this was a dinner for only us. So I nodded and just went back to my room where I’ve been almost all day, the whole week and two days…

“Knock, knock?” I looked up at the sound of someone’s voice and my eyes almost popped out.

I quickly stood up and rushed to him, closing the door behind him as fast as I could. I’m not sure if mom’s already gone or not, but by the looks of it, she is. Otherwise he wouldn’t be here now. “The fuck, how and why did you get in?! If my mom find out I’m dead!”

He laughed softly and placed himself on my bed, lying with his hands behind his head back and sighing. “Well, she doesn’t have to find out, right? Besides, you told me Louis isn’t coming and your mom won’t be back till tomorrow 6am. So what’s the problem? I thought you would be happy to hang around with me for a bit?”

_Oh you have no idea how much I wanted that…_

“Yeah, yeah true. I’m sorry. I’m just a bit scared these days. My mom has never been so… so strict and all. She’s always fun to be around and all and now look at me, being grounded for hanging around with you instead of-“

“It was my fault? Hey, you never told me it was my fault you were grounded. I’m sorry,” he interrupted me. Well it was sort of, maybe, no it was all my fault!

“Harry, it wasn’t your fault at all. I just forgot, it’s my problem. Anyway, I’m glad you’re here. But just in care my mom comes to check up on me, if you go through my window, the roof leads you all the way down and you can go from here to the street or something,” I explained. He laughed again, but nodded.

“Sure, I’ll make sure she never finds out about this. So tell me, what did you do in the past week?”

“In my room… texting you. And well yeah thinking. Doing totally nothing. Gosh I hate being grounded. Louis has come just yesterday and the day before, but he was not even paying attention to me. Ugh, stupid people with their stupid crushes!” I mumbled the last part to myself, but Harry seemed to catch it…

“He has a crush? On who?” I looked at him, my eyebrow lifted up at him.

“Why do you care? Thought you hated him?”

“I don’t care. I don’t hate. Just like to hear..., what do girls call it? Gossip,”

I rolled my eyes and nodded. “Well, he’s not coming today because he has a date with this Puke dude and ugh, he couldn’t stop about him these two days! They met at the park and started to talk. His little sister liked Louis, which is something that never happened before, because little girls mostly annoy him. Anyway, he couldn’t stop about how hot he is, and how sweet and cute and sexy and gosh only thinking back to that, I can feel myself throwing up…” he laughed again and made some place for me, padding the spot for me to lie on.

I gladly took my place and laid down. “Hmm, let’s talk about something,” he said. _Oh you smartass.._

“Yea, kay, about what?”

“What do you think about 20 question? I never had the chance to really get to know you. You can even see that if you’re blind, because tell me. How many times did I already almost kill you just because I didn’t know something about you?”

“A lot.”

“See. Now, let’s ask stupid questions!” I laughed and nodded.

…

“Okay, most awkward moment?”

“Okay, well this one time, I was like… not even drunk, just slightly tipsy. And me and my friends were at this party from some popular chick I knew from school. To make a long story short, I ended up with that girl in bed and I have no idea why, but I just basically asked: ‘Are those real?’ and she got so mad. Like, no kidding. She shoved me out of her room, me in nothing but my socks. That was the most awkward moment of my life! I had to leave the party butt naked,” he said. He started to laugh and I joined him after a few seconds. Okay well, _that_ is awkward.

“Oh god, I can’t believe you actually asked a girl if… well you know what is real!”

“Believe it or not, but I did. You can ask Nick, one of my friends back in school. He was the one that kindly took me home and gave me clothes to wear for the trip back.” I nodded and smiled. “Okay, so, how far did you went with a girl?”

My smile faded and I looked back at the ceiling. “Uhm… Ineverdidanythingwithagirlonlyhuggedorkissedmymom’scheek,” I rushed out.

“And now English so I can understand you…” he laughed softly, an amused smile on his face.

“I never actually did anything with a girl other than hugging or well I kissed my mom’s cheek,” I admitted. He stopped with smiling and sat himself right up, looking at me as if I’m crazy.

“You… like never did anything? As in, for real? Not even tried?” I shook my head and felt blood rushing to my cheeks. “Aren’t you just a bit curious?” _Oh curious as ever… Wanna try?_

“Maybe?”

“God, Niall, I can’t believe you never did anything! I mean, c’mon! You’re good looking! If you don’t go to the girls, then the girls most definitely should be lying at your feet! Anyway, don’t you feel like… like you miss something in your life?”

I thought for a second, but shook my head.

_He only wants to kiss you, big boy…_

“Uh, no not really. I mean, yeah I do want to do, well you know all those things, but it’s not because it didn’t happen yet, that I feel like I miss something in life…” he nodded and looked at me as he  lay on his side.

“Hmm, yeah well I get that. But still. Isn’t there a girl you actually like?”

_C’mon Niall. Lie. You can’t say no, because that will be weird, and you can’t say you like guys…_

“Uh, to be quite honest, yes. There is this special person that I quite fancy a lot…” I said, actually talking about him…

“Really?” he sounded pretty happy and amused. “Tell me about her. How is she? Does she likes you too?”

“To be honest, no I don’t think she likes me, not in the slightest bit! She’s probably just fooling with my feelings too. She’s just so... beautiful you know? She’s annoying and very, well she has her rude moments, but when I really need her, she’s there, even though at some points I wouldn’t want her to be there. She always wants to know everything about what happened and why this and why that, but you know, I might not always tell her the truth, but I do like her, and trust her for some weird reason… Zayn says she’s not the one to trust really. He says she just fuck around and doesn't care about feelings and all…” You have no idea how much I wanted to say ‘he’ instead of ‘she’ but I managed through it, didn’t I?

“Oh, Niall she still sound lovely to me. What’s her name?”

_Oh oohh… you’re fucked…_

“Har-riet. Harriet Stilinski. Uhm.. yeah…” he gave me an odd look, but smiled.

“I so want to say something, but I wouldn’t since you really seemed to be into her. You know, you should make your move. Let Malik say what he wants. He’s most definitely jealous. Just go for her! I’m sure she would like to be yours,” he sounds so… stupid to be very honest, but I mean, somewhere it’s quite nice. He’s doing his best to match me up to this ‘Harriet’ girl that I just made up. I mean, she’s totally Harry, only her name is ‘Harriet’… how can he fall for this?!

“Thanks, but she doesn’t like me. I guess she probably just… doesn’t fit with my kind of people…”

“What do you mean?”

“She doesn’t like me, Harry.”

“Why wouldn’t she?”

“She likes girls,” I just blunted out.

He looked at me in shock for a second, before softening and giving me a sympathetic smile. “Awe Niall. Hey, that’s okay right? You’ll find yourself another woman. I’m sure everything will be okay one day.”

“Well, uhm… yeah thanks.” I hate lying… I really do…

…

 Six weeks passed.

Harry and I had trained a lot. I mean, Harry trained a lot. Lifting weights. Running –with me sometimes, but then slower and… less long-. Swimming –mostly without me, except when it was to relax-. And lots and lots of other sports.

Louis’ crush –who’s now his boyfriend- is apparently my sort of stepbrother, or well, my soon-to-be-stepbrother. Luke’s dad, is my mom’s boyfriend. They actually love each other so much, that I can’t seem to not like the guy. He’s really nice, not that ugly for an older man. He wants to be the best father-figure for me, since I never really had one. Because his son is bi-curious, he doesn’t really care about me being gay. He’s quite cool with it. The fact that me and Luke can take care of little Laura, really makes him and even my mom happier than ever.

Luke and I are really close friends. Right from the first moment we saw each other, we knew we were going to get along really well. He’s a very kind and nice kid. And of course his little sister takes a lot of our time, but she’s just so adorable! She has these cute brown eyes and her brown hair that’s lightly wavy. She’s the best and actually quite calm. Only during nights… The thing is, we moved in by them and well, there was room enough for everyone, but since they wanted a guest room, I had to share a room with Luke. Not that I care, but when Laura is scared, she always comes to our room… which means… sleepless nights…

“Are you heading out?” I turned around to see Luke with a big grin on his face.

“Yeah, so what?”

“Heading to your lover? Huh? Ah c’mon Ni, I’ve seen you looking at him. Each time he leaves, or when he comes to pick you up. I know he likes you just as much as you like him. Just admit!”

“Stop it, Hemmings! I’m not in the mood for your annoying being,” he laughed and shook his head.

“Trust me. That kid likes you. Whether he’s gay or not, he’s just into you. He has the Niall-virus,” he laughed some more before I opened the door and glared.

“I’ll be back before midnight. If I’m not, I’ll text. Be kind and don’t tell mom or Gorge, yeah? Thank you. You’re a doll, bye!”

“See yah brochatio.”

“Oh you so stole my line.”

…

“Hey, Niall! Back to cleaning I see? You’ve came a lot these past weeks. As in, you cleaned up already twice and it’s only Wednesday. Are you and Mr. Styles alright?”

“Better is impossible. But I’m not going to clean or shit. I’m going to get my jacket back. Forgot it Monday, that’s why. And of course to see you, beautiful.”

“Yeah yeah, get your jacket and get you fat ass out of here,” she laughed. Finally, after a lot of time, she accepted me being gay. I never expected her to be okay with it, to be quite honest. I thought she was going to hate me forever.

Once grabbed my jacket, I walked back out, saying my good-bye’s and walked to the park. Some walking can be good sometimes. I haven’t really been alone ever since we moved in, so well yeah… I basically miss some alone-time. Also, I don’t really have to work as much and well yeah, Gorge gives me money when I need it. When mom said he’s rich, she didn’t really joke about it. That man has almost as much money as Mr. Styles. Freaking wealthy…

When I walked through the park, I noticed something.

There was no one around.

Weird? Normally at such a beautiful day, people love to be at the park with their kids. If I wasn’t going to pick up my jacket just to be alone for a while, I would have taken Laura and Luke with me to play in the park.

Some footsteps were heard behind me, and before I knew it, I was lying on the ground. He came hovering over me, and fuck! I haven’t seen him in such a long time…

“Oh if it isn’t Faggy! I missed you. How have you been? Where have you been? You don’t live at the same house anymore. What happened? Did my little princess not like my last visit?”

“How did you find me?” I at least did grow some balls. I’m not strong, and I will probably never be, but since I started to train with Harry, instead of only training Harry, I did got faster and I dared more. Also, I do not care about anyone who wants to hurt me. They can try as much as they want, I won’t shut my mouth this time.

“I observed you from afar for a while.”

“There is a word for it, it’s called stalking.”

He looked shocked from the fact I had some comebacks on my sleeve, and I didn’t even show any sign of fear. I knew he hated it. I could see it in his eyes. “Oh I see you grew some balls eh? I don’ t think that’s such a great idea, faggy.” And before I could even prepare myself for the impact that will be soon leaving me with a stinging pain, I could feel my side being kicked in. I turned over from the pain, only to get a new kick, but in my stomach and one ‘accidentally’ in my face. “Ugh fuck,” he groaned as I started to bleed a lot. My nose was bleeding and my lip slightly cut open, but not a lot though. Won’t be noticeable if I just clean up a bit. “You like that faggy? Like to be kicked? Like to be my personal gay-punch-bag? Huh?”

“Oi!” I heard from afar, and Danny seemed to hear it, too. Oh god, luckily I didn’t start to hear things that aren’t even there… “Leave him the fuck alone!”

“Oh, so you’re the famous boyfriend of faggy? Oh such a pleasure to meet you!”

“I swear, leave him alone or I make your life a lot shorter than planned,” Harry growled. Danny almost chickened out, but didn’t show it.

“Alright man, don’t worry. I just tried to make his ugly face a little prettier. I’m sorry it didn’t work,” Danny answered before running off.

Harry kneeled down and helped me sitting back up. “Oh, gosh Ni. What happened? Why did he do that?”

“No reason for. Probably just wanted to get some anger out of his system."

“It didn’t seem like he was just someone who just wanted to get his anger out, Niall. You already know that me and you lying aren’t a great match, tell me the truth, please.”

“Okay,” I finally said. “But not here.” He nodded and helped me up.

…

“Where is this place?” I asked as I walked in a random building that looked very cold and.. metallic. It was a sort of cube, but then big, as in REALLY big and, well yeah it looked like a little home, but then just all in one room. A cold metallic room.

“I found this one day. My dad says it’s vacant so I can chill here when I feel like it. That’s why it has a bed and a couch. It’s pretty nice in here, just cold and metallic because well, I never felt like making it any more cozy than this. I mean, there are some things in here, I don’t need more than there already is,” he explained as I was looking around. “But we aren’t here to talk about this, so please sit and finally tell me the truth…”

I did as told and sat down on the bed, Harry doing the exact same. “Okay, well…”

“I’m listening.”

“Danny and I go some time back… We met the first day of high school. We were basically best friends. He knew everything about me, and I about him. Then this one day, him and his friends, who I called ‘the gang’ came up to me and started throwing words at me I didn’t even knew the existence of. I trusted Danny with my deepest secret, and he just used it against me. He told the whole school and started to bully me. Well, after school, which he didn’t pass at first, I didn’t saw him for I guess two years? I really thought he was gone out of my life, but then-“ I stopped for a moment. Thinking back at when he came into the gym and beat me up till I was unconscious.

I looked down a bit, biting back tears, because God! What did I ever do to deserve such shit in my life? “Hey, it’s okay. Take your time,” Harry tried to help me a bit, but really. All I need now is nothing but time to get everything off of my chest. I never _ever_ told anyone about Danny or his gang that beat me up daily.

“Thanks. It’s just a bit hard, you know?” I sniffed.

Harry looked down at me in sympathy and gave me a small smile. “I know, Ni. I know. Must be really hard. I know, and you know what? I’m right here, next to you. And I’ll help you through freaking everything, yeah?”

I chuckled a bit and got an amused, yet surprised look from Harry. “You seriously don’t curse, now do you? It’s quite funny.” He laughed for a second and shook his head.

“Well, you’re such a mood killer. Now please, go on.”

I nodded and sighed before opening my mouth again. “Well. Before I go on, swear you won’t hate me after anything, and then I really mean _anything_ I tell you now, okay?” he nodded, looking a bit scared of what will come now. “Well, you remember that day at the gym when I accidentally fell, hit my head and got unconscious?” he nodded again. “I didn’t just fall.”

“I know. That has been bugging me from the day you told me that lie.”

I nodded again. “I know, and I’m sorry about that. But I never told anyone about Danny. He used to be such a great friend. And then this happened. I never thought it would happen again. I mean, people get bullied in school, right? It’s normal. But you don’t get bullied when you’re an adult right? That’s not how it should be.” I started sobbing very lightly, but Harry pressed me close against his chest and held me there for a while.

“Shhhhh. It’s okay. It’s unfair, I know. Life is unfair,” he tried to south me.

“He found me. Again. So at the gym, he and his friends had beaten me up. Till I was unconscious. They left and told Nena I probably just fell. But the thing is, I remembered. And it didn’t stay with that one day either…”

“You weren’t sick from my perfect cooking skills either, now were you?”

“No. He was at my house. He freaking was even IN my house! So when I came back home after you dropped me off, he saw his chance and kicked me where he could, but then you came back for my phone, and well yeah, he rushed out through  the back door, over the backyard till you get back to the road. And then now, he followed me. Tackled me and did just like he normally does.”

“Do you think he has a reason for it?”

“No, I mean, at least not a real reason to be mad at me. I do know a reason for him, but that’s a reason no one should beat me up for, or well I think so at least…”

“Can you tell me?”

I looked up at him, glassy eyes and a little sad smile. “You won’t hate me, right?” He nodded and smiled softly. “I’m not into girls, the way you are. I’m…”

“Gay.” He helped me. I bit down on my lip, looked down at my hands and felt a drop fall onto my hands. I was crying, but soundless. I didn’t feel him for a while. I didn’t hear him either. It was just silence, and I hate that. “Gay,” he said after a second again. “Is that why they bullied you? And why Danny wants to beat you up?” he asked, breaking the deep silence.

“I guess. He always likes to call me faggy… or Queer, or just anything that involves me being gay… so I guess.” My voice cracked, signing I was crying.

“Oh, please, Niall don’t cry. Look, I’ll protect you from him. I promise. When you go outside, please tell me and I’ll come to protect you. Okay?” he pulled me back into his chest and hugged me from behind.

I let myself just enjoy this moment. He doesn’t hate me. He even doesn’t hate me after all this. But… why? “Why don’t you hate me?” I just let it slip from my mouth.

His hands went a bit down, to get to mine and held them in his. “Because I’m no person to hate others for being themselves. And you’re like, let’s say the only real friend I have, so I basically can’t hate on you.” I chuckled softly and rested my head under his chin. We were both in a sitting position, Harry’s back against the wall and me between his legs. I felt really comfortable, to be honest.

“Harry?” he hummed a respond and placed his chin on top of my head. “Can you teach me?”

_Where the fuck is this leading to Horan? You better be careful there!_

Oh I don’t listen to you anymore, just so you know it…

“Teach you what?”

“Everything. All our conversations always are about the same two subjects, only today you figured out about one, so… there’s only one left. Teach me. All you know,” I pulled a bit away to look in his eyes.

“You’re being very mysterious now, tell me what. I mean, I don’t think I’m the one to teach anything. I’ve never been the most smart kid in my classes. I guess my dad even bought me out of school or something. Gosh my grades were bad!”

“I’m not talking about school.”

He seemed to think for a second, but I guess it suddenly popped up in his head as his eyes widened a bit, but went back to normal after he blinked a few times. “Sex?” I felt myself blush, but nodded, looking down. He left my head back up with his finger under my chin and I found a little smile at his lips. “I never, and I repeat, never did anything with a guy, Niall. I don’t think I can teach you anything.”

“Then teach me the things you do with girls.”

“It’s not the same and not that easy, Ni. Really.”

“You don’t want to either, I see it in your eyes. I get it, it was stupid, I’m sorr-“

“Stop talking. Alright. I’ll teach you what I know.” I felt myself smile mischievously. “But not today. Tomorrow. We start tomorrow. Here, same place each time.” I nodded and smiled.

“Oh, Niall Horan… _You’re going to be the death_ _of_ _me_ _,”_


	26. Twenty Six

“Where are you heading to? Again?” Luke crossed his arms over his chest and looked at me as if I was a criminal, about to escape.

“Gosh, just going to learn some things. Will explain it to you tonight,” I answered. He sighed and nodded before leaning against the doorframe of the living room.

“You look really good in those clothes. Want to impress someone?" He coughed while saying "Harry?”

I groaned and sighed in frustration before snapping pretty loudly: “Can you just shut up? He isn’t even gay! He likes girls and that’s it and I’m totally fine with it. For all I know, I never told you I liked him,”

“Sorry mate, just want to be a good brother to you. And just for your information, I’m dating your best friend if you even remember him these past days, he told me about you and this Harry dude you seemed to be all over. I’ve seen you with my own eyes, and I know you. So please, be careful. He might be up to no good…”

“You also talked to Zayn, didn’t you?”

“Black haired kid, kind of a big ego? Smells like sigs and cologne?”

“That’s him.”

“No, never seen him before.”

“You’re such a fool, now let me leave at least. I really wanna go… learning.”

“You sound like one of those nerds that were in my class when I was still in high school. They always hated me because I didn’t give a shit about school at first. Oh, those were days mate,” he laughed and got out of my way.

“I sure believe you, we’ll talk after I’m back. Tell Louis I love him and I’ll catch up with him in the weekend? Or whatever he suggests. Bye!”

“See ya-“ And I slammed the door and walked up to the park.

I sighed once I figured out, I totally forgot where that place was. He told me we were going to do the ‘teaching’ there, back at the weird looking cube, but still. I don’t feel save there and it’s a place I don’t remember how I came there…

“Looking for a lift?” I jumped up and turned around, facing the person that scared the shit out of me. Once I saw it was my all too familiar Harry, I sighed in relieve and smiled. “You looked lost. Oh and don’t worry, I won’t ever hurt you, Niall. I promise.”

“I know, sorry. I just thought you were uhm… “

“Danny, I know. Like I said, before you go out, text me or take whoever you want with you. Like Louis or even Malik. Even if you would ask Liam to go with you, which I hardly doubt, I wouldn’t care, but please don’t go out yourself,”

“You sound like an overprotective mother.”

“Maybe I am?” he challenged.

“Aren’t you a guy?”

“Can be a cover up, now am I right or not?” _Uh… no…_

“No. Now, are we still going? I’m getting cold.”

“There is something that’s called a jacket. Maybe you should get yourself one?”

“You’re an ass. Really, I thought all the girls liked you? It might was just another Harry Styles, son of a very rich man?”

“Shut up. People judge by appearance. It’s not my fault I look just extremely hot and sexy,” he winked at me while saying that, making me laugh a bit.

“You’re too… fond of yourself. Now let’s get going, I really feel like I’m starting to become the ice princess.”

Harry started to laugh and I gave him a confused look in return. “You know you called yourself a princess right? You could’ve easily said _Prince_ instead of _princess_. But if you want to be a real princess, then so you will be,” _And I’m officially scared…_ “Just kidding, don’t give me those puppy eyes. I’m not going to hurt you. Anyway, let’s take you to  a warmer place then here, right?” I nodded and walked next to him to the cube again.

…

“You’re really sure you want this, right? I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to or feel uncomfortable with, which is also one of the most important things in a relationship or just with anyone. Always say it when you’re uncomfortable. It’s really important so the other one knows what your limits are and what you can take and what not,” he explained.

“I’m positive. If I ever do anything, then I’d like to do it with experience. I don’t want to make a fool out of myself one day, if that’s at least okay with you,” I said, blushing right after because, gosh what am I asking for? Isn’t it actually a big deal? Like, teaching me about sex and all? Is that really a good idea? He’s straight, and I’m just his gay-friend. FF. Fag Friend…

“I want to teach you everything I know, I just have no idea how,” he admitted, blushing himself this time.

We sat down on the bed again, facing each other. Somewhere, I managed to not blush as our eyes locked for a few seconds. “Maybe we should start... This is getting very awkward…”

“And you’re hoping it wouldn’t be anymore once we start? Niall, you do realize you always blush once I say the word: Sex, right?” he said and indeed, I could feel my cheeks starting to heat up. “See, I told you. This is really going to be awkward at first, and I don’t know where this will lead us actually, but I mean, I hope it won’t be as weird as I think it really will be…” I nodded and smiled. “Okay, well let’s just start?” I nodded again and waited for whatever to happen.

...

“YOU WHAT?!” I closed my eyes a bit from the impact his voice had. He always has to be so freaking loud. I looked back up and signed to Louis to quiet it down a bit.

“Oh, please don’t look so surprised! You know I’m a curious man!”

“And that’s a reason to ask for sex? With a fucking straight stranger?! Oh god, tell me you didn-“

“NO! Oh God no! I would only dream of it… We just talked. As in, talked about what first things are like and what happens and what I like and he helped me and told me about what he likes and all those stuff. Just talking! Is it that wrong to talk about such things?”

“Uh yes!”

“Dude, you talk about your time with my stepbrother, too! ALL THE TIME!”

“Does that mean you can ask random strangers to talk about sex?!”

“He’s no random stranger!”

“Is he your best friend?”

“No, that’s you.”

“Is he you’re brother or any other relative?”

“No, and I know where this is leading too.”

“Great than I don’t have to finish this.”

“No, you don’t. Because I won’t listen anyway. C’mon! Lou, this is a great experience and you know I like him!”

“See, that’s the biggest reason why you can’t do this!”

“What?”

“YOU ARE SO FUCKING IN LOVE THAT YOU’RE TOO BLIND TO SEE THAT HE’LL JUST USE YOU!”

“He’s not even gay!”

“Some people are bi.”

“Like Luke for example?”

“No, because if he was like Luke, I wouldn’t trust him at all! Luke is bi-curious. Means he’s not even sure about it! And we aren’t talking about my perfect boyfriend yeah? You’re just making it worse for yourself Niall!”

“Then tell me what the fuck is wrong with doing what I do?”

Louis sighed and sat down my bed, his hands between his knees and his elbows on his tights. “You’re going to get yourself hurt, Ni. Please, I’m begging you. Be careful. I know you. You’re so easy to trick and you always get hurt in the end and I don’t want that to happen.”

I placed myself next to him and hugged him softly. “Thanks,” I said. He gave me a surprised  and confused look and I smiled. “For carrying. It’s nice to have someone so close to me and someone that would still understand, even he’s totally against it. Thanks, Lou. I love you mate,”

“Awe, Nialler now don’t get all too sentimental! I’m gonna cry oh my…” Louis hands were blowing some wind in his eyes to make sure he wouldn’t really cry.

“You’re such an idiot. And I like that. Now, do you really think Harry would hurt me? If you're really, really, as in 100% and maybe even more, sure that he would, then I’m okay with stopping this. And leaving the past what the past is,”

“I really thi-“

“And before you answer, know that I really like this guy and that he’s really sweet and gosh he always makes me blush, yet smile!”

He looked for a second in my eyes and smiled then. “It’s fine. Look, I see the look in your eyes, telling me how happy you are when you talk about him. And if he makes you feel all flying and such, then sure. But be warned, if he hurts you, Zayn, Luke and I will all three take revenge on him. I swear I’ll rip his head o-“

“Thanks Louis!” I hugged him quickly before pulling away, texting Harry I was coming the next day.

“You better thank me more than once.. if I have to save your ass, I’ll make sure you’ll treat me like a God!”

“Like I always do,” I smiled. He laughed before walking out of my room and to the living room, where Luke was of course, leaving me alone in my room to think… and text Harry…

_And with a content smile on my face, I took a quick, lovely nap…_


	27. Twenty Seven

"Ready for action?" My eyes widened a bit, but to say I wasn't exited would be an understatement. My fingers played with each other as I looked down at them, trying to figure out what I really wanted right now. When my mind couldn't figure it out, I looked back up in Harry's eyes that were shining, but looking worried too. "If you aren't ready I'm totally f-"

"No, I am. Really. I was just thinking, I mean... Don't go too far with me yet, as in, just really not yet."

He laughed and shook his head a little, amused with what I just said. "Niall, I'm not going to take your V-card anyway. That's something you should give to your lover one day. But I can give tips and make you get used to some things already. As in kissing, making-out. I mean, not that I'm thrilled to do those things with a guy, but... I mean it are the first things that always happen before you do it, so I was thinking last night, to basically learn you the basic things. For things like sex, we have porn what you can watch, I'm not going there, okay?"

_You like to embarrass yourself, right kid?_

Oh not now please, I'm already embarrassed enough.

_Hehe, I know..._

My head lowered again, and my cheeks were burning red. Blood rushing to them, making my toes tingle a bit. He chuckled as he held his head under mine a bit, seeing my blushing cheeks. "You're cheeks are 50 shades of red, instead of Grey," he laughed at his own joke, and I just covered my face, falling down on the bed, arms still over my eyes and a part of my face.

I could feel him hovering over me and the pillow where my head was lying on dipped a bit. I peeked through my fingers, seeing Harry's amused look on his face. With a little yelp –which sounded all too manly.... Note sarcasm- I quickly covered my eyes again. "Don't look at me," I tried to say, but it was more a mumble.

"Why not? You have to get used to people looking at you if you ever decide to do anything with your... boyfriend," he said. His hands went up to my arms and tried to get them off of my face. Once that happened, he looked pretty deep in my eyes, and fuck he has me just where he wants me. "So, can I kiss you?" My heart started to beat, and if it wasn't for the wind that surrounded the cube to make noise, you could've hear it.

"Yes," I breathed out a bit. He smiled and nodded shortly before leaning down. His lips almost touched mine, his breath softly tickling my lips before he placed his lips softly on mine. I didn't know what to do at first, so I just stayed still. His started to nudge mine, signing me that I should just do the same, so that's what I did. He pulled back for a second chuckling.

"You're trying too hard. Soft and slow, not that fast. You're only heating it up, which isn't what I'm going at today," he said, making me blush again. My head turned to the side to avoid his intense gaze, but his hand cupped my face, pulled me back to face him before he slammed his lips back to mine.

This time I tried to take it slower. I let him take control, which was probably for the best. I must admit, this felt like heaven. His lips were so soft and so careful. It was amazing.

Before I knew it, I felt something wet poking at my lips, which made me pull away. His head cocked to the side and an amused, yet confused look spread on his face. "What's wrong?"

"That was weird," I answered truthfully.

"It's called making-out actually. But I'm sorry that I pushed you. I really didn't want to push you at all, I'm sorry."

I placed a kiss upon his cheek, making him stop apologizing. "It's okay. You didn't push me or anything. Just thought it was weird and that I was doing something wrong," I admitted.

He sighed and got off of me. "You're a great kisser I guess," he said. I cocked my head this time and sat up just like him.

"You... guess?" I asked, not really understanding.

He looked down for a second before sighing again. "I don't honestly know if I can do this, Ni. I really want to help you out, because, well they always say that's what friends are for, but... _This_? All of this is just weird, isn't it? I mean, I'm straight and I have no idea what I'm doing then right here, kissing a guy? Let me just think about this all before we go on, yeah? See you around."

He stood up and rushed out of the cube, leaving me alone...

"Uh... what just happened?" I asked myself more than anyone, because... no one was there...

...

"And where were you these freaking whole day? You know, it's fucking 2 in the morning, right?" I looked up at Luke who was trying his best to be quite till I closed the door behind me and went to my bed, getting rid of my t-shirt and jeans before climbing in bed. "Oh, no. I don't think so. You're going to tell me where the hell you were. You're my little brother remember? It's my job to protect you."

 

Rolling my eyes, I turned around on my side, my back facing him. "I don't want to talk about it," was all I could say to that.

I heard his bitter laugh and mentally sighed to myself. "You don't want to talk about it?" he repeated before he started to laugh some more. What is he? Drunk? Drugged? He's sure something I don't like... "Great, just great! B-E-A-utiful! Just perfect." He sat himself down on my bed and turned me over so I had to face him. "Niall, I was worried sick. Normally you're always back before the day ends. You didn't even have dinner with us. That's so weird. Maura left a bit on a plate in the fridge for if you would come home a bit later, but this is absurd!" he said pretty sweetly.

He started to study my face, holding it in his hands a bit. "Don't look at me like that," I protested.

When I tried to shake him off, he just held me even tighter, worry spreading all over his face. He quickly put the light on and looked at me. "You're all dirty. How come? What happened?"

"I walked in the park, okay?"

"You don't stay too long in the park and you certainly don't look that dirty from just the path of the park."

"What are you assuming huh?"

"That something is bothering you. And since you're my little bro, I have to take care of all your worries. C'mon. We're going to have a small talk with some tea." It's like I had a choice... Note sarcasm..

_..._

"So, tell me, what happened?" He asked once we were both downstairs and with a cup of tea in our hands on the sofa. A blanket wrapped around my body because I was cold.

"You won't get mad?"

"Why would I get ever mad at you, Ni?"

"Because Louis did once he heard about it..."

"Tell me."

I took a deep breath before starting to explain everything. "Well, you know Harry right?" He gave me a short nod. "He and I have some sort of.. thing where he's willing to teach me everything about sexual contact," I mumbled. His eyes grew a bit wider, but he didn't say a thing, wanting me to explain this all. "We only talked at first, about literally everything that involves sex, I mean as in like kissing and what he and I like and well just basic shit," I waited for him to give me any sign, but he never did. "Today he kissed me. My first kiss ever and I think I might ruined it. He acted so weird all of a sudden and I don't know what I did wrong. He said he didn't know if he really was ready to teach a guy about all those things because he's totally straight, you know? So he ran off. He left me alone there and the reason I'm so late is because God knows where I had to go. I think I walked through the woods of the park for like three hours till I found the path again and a familiar bench where Louis and I always sit. Then I walked back home, but it was already so late, so I thought to be quite."

Luke nodded and sighed before finally opening his mouth. "Why didn't you call? I could've come and pick you up or something."

"Even I didn't know where I was, so how in hell's name could I possibly call you, asking to pick me up, _somewhere_?" He thought for a second, but when he couldn't come up with anything good, he sighed and nodded. "See. I'm fine you know? It was just cold that's all. I might caught a cold, but nothing mayor." He nodded again and smiled.

"Look, Ni. It's maybe better if you just don't do this with Harry. If you really like this guy, then you shouldn't be doing things which might means a lot to you, but nothing to him. For you this is probably something big, but for Harry it's just helping a friend. Like you said, he's totally straight. I think it's best if you don't try and make him gay like you. He has to be what he is. Not what you want him to be. You get what I'm saying?" I nodded before sighing. "I'm sorry, Ni. I just don't want you to get hurt in the end, yeah? So talk about it and see what he says."

_..._

That same night, I was lying on the couch, phone in my hands and the same number on it, ready to press ' _send'_. Luke had gone off to bed and I told him I would come after I drank my tea, but I actually never came and he didn't notice so far.

 

**TO: HARRY ♥**

 

'YO Harry'

 

Okay, no, scratch that...

 

'Hi there!'

 

Oh please no!

 

'hey.'

 

Was all I eventually sent.

 

I waited. And waited. And waited some more. But nothing came. _N.O.T.H.I.N.G._

**'Harry,please we need to talk. xx**

**\- Niall Horan.'**

Again... Nothing.

"He won't answer, now does he?" My head spun up to see Luke again.

"Can you like, _not_ creep on me? I'm in the house. _Save_ if you didn't trust it," I snapped.

Luke held his hands up in defeat and chuckled. "Sorry, bro. You're just too busy with that Harry kid. He's just a boy. If he doesn't like you the way you are –which is awesome and close to perfect, hun trust me- then he isn't even worth your frown. You're such a sexy lad when you smile, so keep on smiling and if he text you or he doesn't at all, then just ignore it. Fuck him for being an ass,"

"I'd love to," I whispered under my breath, only to get a playful smack on the head. "Hey!"

"What? No dirty talk for you anymore. It's not good for you. Besides, I won't let you fuck anyone before you're 30!"

"When I'm 30 I'm out of here,"

"Says the guy who's 20?"

"Says the guy who's 2 years younger than you are Mr."

He laughed and shook his head. "C'mon, you need sleep." I nodded and walked up the stairs with him, into our room. When I got into my bed, he just came up to me and looked down.

"What?"

"Give me your phone," he demanded.

"What? Why? No!"

"Ni, I won't look in it. I just want you to sleep. Rest. You get it back in 6 hours, okay? Now give it and sleep. I'll wake you up at 9, because that's when you're able to get your phone back, alright?" He's such an annoying guy! Really! I mean, I'm not 6 anymore! He acts like my dad...

After I gave him my phone grumpily, it vibrated, as if Karma was right beside me, watching. I reached out, but he snacked it away from me. "No, no phone. You'll be able to read your texts when I wake you. Now hup, sleep!"

I nodded and turned around, facing the wall before drifting off to sleep.

 

 


	28. Twenty Eight

_"Are you sure about this?" he asked, his green eyes shining into mine as he was hovering over me. I bit my lip, trying to think, but me being aroused so bad, wasn't helping me to think straight._

_"Yes. Are you?" I asked, knowing he's probably less at ease then I am. I mean, he's still straight..._

_He nodded, his eyes full of lust and... somehow love... I didn't know what to think of it, but because my lower part was hurting like hell, I couldn't care less about emotions or any other thing in life. I needed him. In any way possible. "I'm going to undress you, if you're okay with that," he said, his hands already at the hem of my t-shirt. I nodded quickly, letting him take off my t-shirt all the way. His eyes were glued to my chest and I felt myself getting a bit uncomfortable under his strong stare. "You're so beautiful," he said as his hands skimmed down my upper body, going to my belt._

_My eyes watched every move he did. Every second that passed, made me a bit more nervous, but a lot more aroused._

_After my belt was removed, my pants unbuttoned and thrown somewhere random in the room, his face went down, lips close to my painfully hard-on. His breath was hitting me, making me twitch ever so hard. "Stop being a tease, god damnit!" I groaned._

_"I'm sorry Ni. But you should wake up."_

_"Huh?"_

_"Wake up Ni."_

"Ni. Wake up. C'mon! It's already 5 past 9 am! I never tried to wake you up without success, so wake up!" My eyes shot open, and I sat straight up, my heartbeat faster than normal. I could feel little drops of sweat on my forehead and just actually on my whole body. "Oh, I see you finally found out you were sleeping," Luke said. "Had a nice dream?" he smirked.

I groaned and fell back down on my back, a pillow covering my face out of embarrassment. This is getting really annoying. I keep having these dirty, yet freaking sexy dreams about Harry. It only started when I met him, but that's no reason to actually have them, right? What's happening to me? Seriously! "Luke, what the fuck is happening to me?" I groaned and he just laughed.

"Having a wet dream, bro. Lou told me you had that before. He walked in on you having it in the morning one day." And I groaned even more.

"Did he seriously tell you that? I thought we were friends! Ugh... I'm going to kill him!" Luke laughed again and sat down next to me.

"That's not a good idea, but here. Your phone. Text your lover back, because he basically kept me awake during the night. Or it was someone else, there is a possibility that it's actually another person, but you sure as hell are popular Mr." I threw the pillow to the side and grabbed my phone, ever so eager. "Oh, and uh... About your little dream, I think you should take a shower... and do something about that," he said pointing down to my hard-on before laughing. "It looks painful. Maybe you should try and not to moan so loud during these dreams. I'm happy your phone kept me awake already, because I wouldn't want to wake up with those sounds from you," he said. His body soon left my side as little Laura came inside the room and made grabby hands to Luke, asking him to pick her up.

"Ni!" she said, smiling to me while I basically covered my _buddy_ , so she wouldn't see that.

"Hey, Lau. Good morning." She smiled and giggled a bit. Oh these little girls are always so cute when they giggle. I actually miss Ariel, seeing that she doesn't live next door anymore... Maybe I'll go to theirs today and invite Lou over too. I'm sure they'll like us to babysit again.

Luke went to the door, but Laura stopped him, protesting to go. "No! Ni!" she protested, trying to get out of Luke's hold.

"Yeah, yeah, alright just wait a second, you annoying rabbit! I'll put you down and then you can go to Niall," Luke said, sounding a bit annoyed by the fact his own sister wanted to go to me.

Once she was down, she ran off to me, climbed on my bed, which wasn't all too high, so she succeeded, and hugged me bit. "Hey, little brown eyes. What do you think of some nice breakfast with Luke, yeah?"

She shook her head, and I could hear Luke sigh a bit. Ever since my mom and I moved in, Laura has been more attached to me than to Luke. I feel bad about that because well... she's Luke's real sister and I'm just an intruder in their life.

I felt really bad for him. "Okay, listen, Laura. I'm going to take a shower and I'll be downstairs really quick to cuddle with you and Luke, yeah? But you have to go and eat breakfast. I'm sure your bother will love to be with you some more, yeah?" She sighed and looked a bit sad, but nodded anyway. "Good girl, now hup! Go to Luke. See yah in a few pretty brown eyes,"

"Bye kitty!" she almost yelled as she went to the door to Luke. He smiled and mouthed a 'thank you' before walking with her down the stairs.

I decided to take a shower and get rid of something that's bugging me ever since I woke up... So I quickly got some clothes, ran into the bathroom and let the shower run while I undressed myself a bit. Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I could sense that I wasn't just dirty. I had some cuts too, from walking through the threes and other plants... I could come to the conclusion: I looked bad...

After getting out of the shower and rid of my very annoying morning wood -which only shows it still works...- I got dressed quickly and rushed down the stairs, my phone in my hand. Because of all the drama this morning, I totally forgot about my texts, so once I reached the ground again and walked into the living room, I unlocked my phone and went to my messages.

**FROM: ZAYN :)**

**_'hey kiddo! How are you? Louis told me that he was worried about you, but he didn't want to tell me why and what the matter is, so I was wondering maybe you want to tell me, yeah? Xo'_ **

**_'Oh sorry, it's late you must be asleep. Tell me when you wake up, or call me and we'll go get something to drink, yeah? Xo'_ **

**TO: ZAYN :)**

**_' Hey, Z. Sorry Luke had my phone... Anyway, I have no idea what Lou means by that. I'm totally fine. He's just weird!_ **

**_Still love to do something with you, I'll see maybe tomorrow or something. I guess I'm going to babysit on Ariel and ask Lou with me. or maybe I stay with Luke and Laura._ **

**_Anyway, will text you when I can. Xx_ **

**_-Niall Horan.'_ **

**FROM: HARRY ♥**

**_ONE VOICEMAIL LEFT_ **

**_ONE VOICEMAIL LEFT_ **

**_ONE VOICEMAIL LEFT_ **

**_ONE VOICEMAIL LEFT_ **

Well that's weird...

I pressed on the first one and put my phone to my ear.

_"No you don't get it, Li! I don't know why I did that! I guess I just thought I had to do something for him. He's like my only friend."_ I heard Harry's voice say, but it wasn't in the speaker and it wasn't towards me either. Was his butt calling me?

_"Well, nice to hear that yeah, totally doesn't hurt,"_ I guess that was Liam or something.

_"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. Look the thing is. I thi-"_

And the voicemail stopped. Oh you must be kidding me!

I quickly clicked on the other one.

_"So you mean you might-"_

Okay... that was a short one...

_"No, of course not! I mean... ugh I don't know! Maybe I am. Maybe this is just a phase. Do you think I should call him or anything? I mean, he texted me, but I didn't reply just yet... I don't know what to say. You know, I left him all alone in the cabin..."_

_"You left him?! Does he know his way back home?"_

_"Oh my God. I don't think he does. I'll be back, should check upon that!"_

I heard some shuffling before a door closed and then the line broke. Making that awful beeping sound.

Next one...

_"Niall?"_ was he talking to me now? _"Niall! Pffff. I hope you're at least safe home... Ugh, I feel so bad for leaving you here all alone. How stupid can I be? God knows where you are now."_ Harry mumbled. Oh he was talking to himself...

The voicemail stopped again and that was the last one, too.

"What were you listening to?"

"Harry had left some voicemails, but I think it wasn't on purpose. I guess his butt called me," I explained while Luke laughing softly. "What?" I asked.

"Sorry, but you look just so cute like that. You know you're wearing your hoodie wrong, right?" I looked down and saw he was indeed right. The back of my hoodie was turned to the front... I sighed and turned my hoodie around so it was how it should be. "That's better. Now, tell me, what did he say?"

"I don't know really... his butt seriously called me like 4 times and each time he was about to say something interesting, his butt hung up on me. So I don't know. I only know he was at Liam's and after he probably realized I was normally still at the cabin, he went to look for me, but I wasn't there anymore. It said it was sent at 1 in the morning, means I was almost here."

"So he still cares, right? Maybe you should call him, yeah? Ask to talk?"

"But I texted him that before and he just ignored it."

"See, another reason why calling or even face to face is better. If you call, it's more difficult to ignore you, right?"

"What if he even doesn't answer?"

"Then he's or busy, or a stupid ass."

"Luke..." I warned.

"Sorry, but someone who makes you feel this, is not right in the mind. C'mon! You're almost a zombie! You come home late, slept barely because you only text him and do God knows what! I mean, you're so into him, I would almost say you love him..."

"I do _not_ love him! We're just friends and I might have a little crush on him, but I don't love him!" I fought back. I don't know why, I just felt the need to defend myself.

"Wow, take it easy there, fake blondie. I wasn't labeling you at all or anything. I just think you might like him more than just friends, or even more than just a crush, but hey, if you say you don't, then you don't yeah? You know I only want to protect you. You might not be my first younger sibling, but I don't have to protect Laura from guys already. She's still in that phase where boys are 'yucky' and Barbies and ponies are her heroes. That's different from you. You may be just two years younger, but gosh I feel like I have to protect you from mistakes like I would do with Laura. When she's finally at the age I have to be her protective brother, then she won't even see me as much as now. I'll be almost 40, and unable to protect her from everything anymore. She'll have to do that on her own, and I just think I need someone to take care of, more as a big brother. You know?"

My eyes were a bit teary, and I weakly smiled at him. "You know? I never had a brother before, and it actually feels good to have someone to care for you in another way your mother does. So, thanks. For basically just carrying and well, being there for me. I know it's pretty weird, but I would do the exact same for you, you know? I may be your well, younger stepbrother, but I would protect you just the way you do for me," I tried to sound cute, but well that wasn't really working.

Luke smiled and sat down next to me on the couch. He wrapped his arms around me and held me in an almost protective way, placing his soft lips on my cheek. His nose was placed just on the place his lips where before he whispered softly: "Thanks. You're the best brother I could ever wish for," and hugged me for a second tighter, till little Laura tried to get up on the couch, almost hurting Luke and I by trying that.

"Hey, little penguin. You're going to cuddle with us?" Luke asked the little angel that was trying to get in between us.

"No," she said cutely, her bum placed on my leg that was placed in between Luke and I. She quickly smiled up, kissing both mine and Luke's cheek before sitting with her back against Luke's chest. "Barbie?" she asked suddenly, looking up with her cute, innocent eyes.

I laughed and shook my head. "No, bub. Now the big bro's are going to watch TV. You can go and colour some random drawing, yeah? Make a drawing for us?" Luke said.

She just shook her head, and pouted, looking more to me. She knows that she can get everything from me if Luke doesn't let her... smart kid, I must say... "No, don't look at me like that. Listen to your brother. I mean, your other brother."

She started to fake-cry and Luke sighed. "Fine, then stay, but we're watching whatever we want. I'm not going to watch Barbie all over again, got it, little twat."

Laura smiled and giggled. "Luke, dude, don't call her a twat. She's a little girl, she'll use that word one day and then people will only look at you.."

"Nah, she doesn't care. She likes to be my little penguin, or my little monster. As long as she's anything but Laura, then she's happy." I rolled my eyes, but nodded.

"Sure, so what are we gonna-" My phone stopped me from my sentence and I quickly pulled it out to look at the ID.

"C'est qui?"

I gave him a confused, but more surprised look before opening my mouth.

_"It's..._ _Harry?"_


	29. Twenty Nine

_“It’s… Harry?”_ Luke looked up to me with an unknown look in his eyes. “What should I do?”

“Pick up! And do it before you have to call him back!”

I hesitated for a second, but sighed and pressed the green button before putting my phone at my ear. “H-Hey,” I stuttered, not sure what to say.

“We have to talk. Seriously. I’ll be there in a second. Gonna take you to the cabin, and this time I promise not to leave you alone,” he said before pressing end. Well that was weird….

“So? What did he say?”

“He’s going to pick me up. He said we had to talk,” I said blankly.

“Well, that’s great right? Oh and Ni?” I looked up and he smiled. “Get changed.”

I gave him a confused look. He looked down at my hoodie and nodded towards it, making me look too only to see that there were little purple hands on my grey hoodie. “Oh, Lau! Are you kidding me? You could’ve at least wash your hands!” I almost yelled, but she looked up at me with teary eyes, getting more into Luke’s chest, and I felt bad for yelling. “Oh sorry, pretty brown eyes. I didn’t mean to yell. You’re a lovely girl, and you know I love you. Just next time wash your hands before you decide to cuddle me, yeah?” she nodded and sniffed a bit.

“I’ll buy you a new one, Ni. Don’t worry. It’s my fault. I should’ve hide the paint, sorry. But get changed before he’s here, yeah?” I quickly nodded and ran up the stairs and into our room.

I looked through all my clothes, but I didn’t have one thing that’s warmer than a t-shirt… “LUKE?! CAN I BORROW YOUR SWEATER?!” I yelled.

“SURE! IF YOU DON’T DO DIRTY THINGS IN IT!” I rolled my eyes, but yelled an ‘Okay’ back before getting into his closet and searching for his purple sweater. Once I found it, I heard the bell rang, and my heartbeat went faster and faster.

“I’LL GET IT!” Luke yelled.

“NO!” I yelled back, but then I thought, why not?  “Uh I MEAN, YEAH SURE!”

I quickly slipped out of my now purple painted hoodie and pulled the other one over my head before heading downstairs. Harry was sitting next to Laura, playing with her hands a bit and smiling down at her while doing whatever the shit he was doing. Luke was trying to talk to him, but I guess his attention was all on little Laura.

“KITTY!” Laura yelled, looking directly at me. Harry’s head spun around and his eyes caught mine. God he’s beautiful… “Kitty, me have friend!” she giggled, pointing a bit to Harry. I had to use all my power to not look at them in awe or coo at their cuteness.

“Well that’s great Lau. I’m happy 'bout that. Now, what do you think of a nice warm bath and Luke will wash you off yeah?” I winked and she giggled again, nodding her head wildly. Luke playfully glared at me before picking Laura up in his arms. She took Harry’s face in both her hands and gave a kiss upon his nose before they both walked away. Harry turned back to me, an amused expression on his face. “That’s her way to say she likes you. Trust me, a lot of strangers had to go through the kissing-nose-phase… even me,” I chuckled. He laughed softly too.

“She’s adorable Niall. Is she your sister?”

“No, Luke’s. Which makes her my stepsister, but she’s too young to understand that, so we all say we’re just her family. Their mother died right after she gave birth to Laura, so it’s not that she really remembers anything from her anyway… that’s for the better for her though.” I explained. He nodded before looking around a bit awkward.

“Can we uh… go? I’d like to talk to you in total private.” I nodded and got my jacket again.

“Sure, let’s go.”

We walked to his car and got in. Once he was on the road, he looked at me for a second and smiled. “Nice sweater,” he smirked.

“It’s Luke’s.” His smirk fell a bit and he concentrated back on the road.

…

“Okay, Ni. Sit down, please.” We just arrived at the cube –it’s already sounding like a cocktail bar or something- and Harry looked nervous and impatient.

I did as told and sat down on the bed, legs swinging a bit because I couldn’t reach the ground anymore. “So… what do you want to talk about?” I asked, being a bit nervous too.

He sighed before sitting down next to me, just his legs were on the bed, feet behind my back. “About yesterday. About you. And me. And basically everything.” I nodded, understanding what he was saying. “First, I want to apologize for yesterday.” My heart sunk a bit, because he could be apologizing for two things: For leaving me, or for kissing me… “I shouldn’t have-“ he stopped for a second and my heart began to beat even faster. “I shouldn’t have left you all alone here. Certainly not because you don’t even know the way to get here, or to get out. So, I’m really, _really_ sorry! I swear, I came back after I talked to Liam, uh, Mr. Payne for you, but you weren’t here anymore, so at first I started to panic. After a few minutes I thought you would just already be home, because I would at least have crossed you if you weren’t right?”

“I was home at 2am. Luke was worried sick and I had to explain everything.”

Harry’s eyes widened a bit. “Oh I’m so- wait… Everything?” I nodded and he cursed under his breath.

“It’s okay, he’s part fine with it part not,” I said, trying to make him feel less worried.

“Oh, well anyway. I’m really sorry about that. I felt so bad for leaving you, but then I started thinking. Really a lot, to be quite honest with you. I guess I’ve never slept for such a short time in my whole life. You were continue on my mind,” he admitted and I felt flattered. My heart beaded faster and my whole body felt warm, nice warm.

“What were you thinking about then?”

“You. A lot about you. About you only. At first I thought I just needed to go to a mental institution, but later on, I realized, maybe it’s just all in my head. Well, it doesn’t matter. It’s not about me now. Look, you know yesterday I told you I needed time to think about this all, right? That I wasn’t sure if I was ready.” I nodded and he smiled weakly. “Well, maybe it wasn’t because I didn’t know if I was ready yet. I guess… I guess I was just scared that I would like this too much or something. When I talked about  this with Li, he told me I wasn’t scared to like this too much, but that I was scared to not be able to actually stop if you ask for it. That I was scared to face hurting you. And after he told me that, and after I denied that in any way I could till he got annoyed by it, I realized, that maybe that really is the reason why I got so… so closured.”

“What changed your mind then? Why aren’t you scared of hurting me anymore?”

He smiled weakly again and got a bit closer. “Because I know I would never hurt you. I’m not the one I thought I am. If I ever do anything that hurts you, I know I would stop right away. And if I don’t then I would never forgive myself for that,” I nodded and smiled again.

I looked down at my hands for a second. “What if you can’t control yourself and hurt me really bad? Or what if you hurt yourself?” I found myself asking.

“Can I show you I wouldn’t ever hurt you?”

“How?” I asked. He cocked his head a bit and I chuckled. “Okay, yeah.”

“Can I kiss you?” My heartbeat increased again. Oh help… I nodded weakly, and before I could wrap my head around it, his lips were on mine.

This time the kiss was… different. It wasn’t soft or slow, but pretty rough and a bit headed. His hands went to my hips and he quickly pulled back, only to lay me on the bed, back facing the mattress and his lips back to mine, faster than light could go. His hands stayed on my hips and his body was in between my legs.

He broke the kiss again, only to look into my eyes. He panted heavily and his breath touched my lips softly. “That was something different than before, wasn’t it?” he asked. I nodded, feeling a bit uneasy under him. “Want to learn how to make-out?”

My body tensed a bit and I looked for a second around the room. “I-I don’t know…” I said. He nodded and pecked my lips again before going to my neck. It felt weird. Why was he kissing my neck? His mouth parted a bit and I felt slimy kissed pressed against my skin. After a second, he started to nip at the skin of my neck, which made me worry a bit. Just as I was about to relax under his touches, I felt his teeth sank into my skin, making me pull away. “Are you a freaking vampire?” I asked in disbelieve as he pulled back and chuckled.

“No, silly. I’m marking you.”

“What the hell is that suppose to mean?”

“It’s called a love-bite. Like I said, I would teach you everything I know and well, leaving love-bites is something I’m pretty good at.” He smiled. “Did it hurt so bad?” he asked then, looking a bit sad and hurt.

“No, no! Not at all, I was just shocked, that’s all. I don’t know. It feels weird,” I answered truthfully.

“If you want me to st-“

“No. Please, go on,” I said, feeling pretty awkward because I literally just asked for him to go on with… well I don’t know. It feels more embarrassing then it sounds…

He nodded and smiled a bit before going back to my neck, right on the same spot. He just kissed it, and went a bit higher, kissing every inch of my neck before he pressed his lips in the crook of my neck. I cringed a bit when a shiver went up and down my spine. I could feel him smirking as he placed an open-mouth kiss to that place, making me shiver all over again. Before I could count to three, his teeth sank again in my skin, and I felt my body tense again. He stopped for a second and whispered: “Relax.” Before going back on working on my neck.

He sucked at the skin some more before he let his tongue going over the spot, licking it softly. With a smack, he left my neck again and smiled, looking proudly at his work. “There you go. Might want to wear a scarf or wear something that covers that up for the next three, maybe four days,” he said and my eyes went wide.

“What did you do?”

“Like I said. I marked you. Don’t worry, I promise. Give it maximum 5 days and it’s gone.” He said and I groaned.

“What will my mother or stepdad think? What about Luke or Louis? And Zayn? He doesn’t know anything about this. We’re supposed to meet up again. Oh god!” he just laughed at my drama. “What? You think this is funny?”

“Pretty much yeah. It’s just a love-bite! Everyone knows about them.” I gave him a hard gaze and he gulped. “Okay well, most people know about it. Anyway, if your mom or dad or even Zayn ask about it, just say you got it from a friend? And like you said, Luke knows about it. And that Louis guy, too.” I sighed and nodded.

“Okay, sorry. Just… 5 days? Right?” he nodded and smiled. “Okay, fine I can cover it up. Will have to use my mom’s make-up though…” he laughed, but stopped once he saw my not-amused expression.

“Okay, great. So, do you already know about the making-out?”

“Why are you so eager to make-out with me?” I challenged.

“Because then you already have a lot of experience and because you’re a great kisser, I’m pretty sure once you’re comfortable with it, you’ll be amazing.” He answered truthfully.

“Harry are you-“ I stopped myself from asking. “No, never mind.” He nodded and looked some more into my eyes.

“So… can we?” I must say, if he isn’t the cutes thing on earth, then I don’t know it anymore. I nodded hesitatingly and he smiled before going down to my lips. Kissing me just the way he did before. I pulled back a little and looked at him confused. He just chuckled. “You’re not relaxed. I wanted to make you relax a little bit before we start, because I already know you will be a bit surprised once you find out what making-out actually is.” He explained.

I nodded and he smiled. He lifted himself up and straddled me, his pretty round bum on my crotch, making me groan a bit. He chuckled and let his hands rest on my shoulders as he bend down a bit again and kissed me. Just the same way he has done quite a few times now. I thought he was just kissing me again, but it headed up a bit and soon I felt his tongue poking my lips again. Oh… so that’s making out…

I parted my lips a bit and felt his tongue going into my mouth. His saliva mixed with mine, which sounds even dirtier than it was. His tongue licked mine and the rest of my mouth. To say I was stunned would be an understatement. I was pretty shocked at this, but even though I wouldn’t admit it, it was a good feeling.

My hands surprisingly went up to his hips, holding him in place as he was grinding down on my crotch, making me a bit harder… His hips slowed down a little bit, and I don’t think he even knew he was doing that, but his lips stayed on mine, tongue fighting for dominance, which he had already won anyway...

After a few more seconds, he pulled back, panting heavily and sitting straight up. “Fuck,” he breathed out. I, myself, was panting, too, but I didn’t say a word, too stunned to even open up my mouth. He cleared his throat and looked down at me, hands still pressed on my shoulders/chest. He came closer to my ear again and kissed right under it before whispering: “How was that?”

Shivers ran down my spine again and oh.. God! It’s impossible to be sexier than Harry. Fucking Jesus mother of Christ! It should be illegal to be so sexy and hot!

He smirked down to me and I felt so uneasy again. “Are you alright?” he asked, still an amused expression on his pretty face. I nodded and looked down at my hands that were still on his hips. He really didn’t notice that at all, now did he? “You know, even for a straight guy like me, that was fucking hot,” he said truthfully. I giggled a bit, and quickly covered my mouth, eyes wide at the fact I just giggled! Harry’s eyes were a bit wider, too, but he just looked more amused than shocked. “Okay, that was just adorable,” he said, smiling widely.

I rolled my eyes and chuckled. “Well I guess I should thank you for calling me adorable,” I said, blushing a little bit.

“Yeah. You should,” he laughed. He got back off of me and rested on the bed, his front facing me. “Hey, Ni?” I turned my head towards him and nodded, gulping a bit because I didn’t even notice how close we were. “How did you found out you were uh… gay?” he asked.

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I mean, even I don’t know how I found out. I just always looked more to guys than girls and well, most of my friends were girls and Louis told me he thought he was gay. So we Googled that one day and we found out what ‘being gay really means’ so I started to think and then one day I told Louis I was gay, too. To say we weren’t curious to try something would be wrong, because we really were, but then there was this guy that was totally into Louis and he asked him to be his boyfriend, and Louis of course said yes, so eventually we ended up not experiencing anything…. If I look back to it right now, seeing my condition where I’m in now, I wouldn’t change that for a fact. Because, then I wouldn’t be with Harry right now.

“You don’t have to answer, I mean. I get that. Pretty awkward question, sorry,” he suddenly said, breaking my endless trail of thoughts.

“N-no. Sorry I was just… thinking. Look, I don’t really know how I found out. I just did. My best friends were always girls and Louis and well, I always found myself looking at guys instead of girls and I could easily say a guy was hot and I could fangirl about stupid boybands and stuff. You know, after you find yourself really doing something no other guy does, or well you think no other one does actually, then you start to wonder if you’re actually normal and you do some research. For me that was with Louis. He said he thought he was gay, so we Googled ‘Gay’ and well, all those things were right about him, and somewhere for me, too. So after he was gone, I read some more about being gay and I thought to myself: Hey, I’m gay and… for some reason I’m totally fine with that. Of course that didn’t take long. When I came back to school the other day, Louis was popular for being the cool gay kid, but they bullied me for being it. It’s a strange story but it’s in the past, and I want to keep it there, you know?”

Harry listened to me the whole time, looking pretty interested, too. “Well, that’s a pretty interesting way you found out, I guess. If it was me, I guess I would probably freak out and lock myself up in the bathroom to cry under the shower,” he said, sounding honest. He suddenly chuckled and looked in my eyes as I turned my head again to find out what was funny. “Okay, well that sounded so girly. Maybe I need help,” he laughed.

“Nah, you’ll be fine. So, what are you going to do the rest of the day?”

“I’m going back to my sister’s. Going to take care of her little baby I call: the living hell.” He said seriously.

“They can’t be that bad.”

“You have no idea! That little monster tried to get his car toy into my knee. You wouldn’t think it does, but when a kid tries to get it’s toy in your knee, it really hurts. And then he started laughing after too! Ugh, I so don’t like that kid.”

“Isn’t he your nephew then?”

“He definitely is no family of mine. He’s back from hell you know? It’s just Satan but then smaller, less red and more evil!”

I laughed and sat straight up again. “Don’t say that. He’s probably lovely!”

“I bet you, you won't keep up with him for 3 minutes!”

“Excuse me, don’t you have any fate in me? Oh you’re gonna regret that. How old is he?”

“4. I hate him.”

“Hey, Laura is 3, maybe they can play, yeah? I mean, only if your sister is fine with her baby playing with another?”

“It’s Gemma we’re talking about. As long as her baby won’t die during the babysitting, she’s fine with it. Strangely she trust me with her kid… She must be desperate….” He said, sitting up too.

“So… you’re not good with kids?”

"I’m wonderful with kids. Just not with soldiers made by the devil himself. I’m not lying if I say he’s dangerous! He’s planning my dead with his sick little brain!”

“Oh don’t be such a drama queen. He’s probably just thinking about how he can get his car in your knee,”   

He smiled, till he realized what I just said, and slapped the back of my head. “Well, that was mean! I’m already scared of the kid, don’t make it any worse, remember, I have to take care of that thing till my sister and her boyfriend are back home…”

“Well, you won’t be alone now will you? I can ask Luke if I can take Laura to a play date. He’s probably fine with it since I seem to remember he told me last time he really wanted to hang out with one of his friends, seeing that he’s always home with Laura and because our parents are both always at work, well yeah… I’m sure he’ll like the idea.”

…

“No.”

I was stunned, that’s for sure. “Wait, what? No? Why no? What no? huh?”

“Calm down. It has nothing to do with you. I just don’t trust that Harry kid. It can be a list!”

“Dude, do you hear what you’re saying? I’ll be with him, Laura and the baby of his sister. It’s just a play date! C’mon! I’m sure after the day's over, that kid has seen more Barbie than Laura can even dream of. And besides, I want the two of them having some fun. I know how hard it is to keep a baby boy busy. Put some Barbie on and a girl shuts up, but that’s different with baby boys. You know what they did to me? They had put Louis and I in one box and hoped me and him would keep each other busy. And strangely, we played with each other so much that we always fell asleep before it was even bed-time. And when we were alone, we always cried the whole night because strangely we couldn’t sleep without each other’s company!”

“That explains only why you have those weird dreams when you sleep alone,”

I glared at him and he just rolled his eyes, helping Laura in her little dress and dress-shoes. “C’mon Luke! Please! They’ll love it!”

“No, you’ll love it. Or should I say, you’ll love the fact you can be with Harry. Just be honest. You’re doing this for him! It’s always about this Harry dude. You’re obsessed Ni, and I won’t let you use my sister for it!”

“Ugh, c’mon! Would you be happier if you come with us? You can stay and see it yourself! Once you trust it, you can go with your friends! Is that better?”

He sighed and looked at little Laura’s hands. “Fine! But I’m first checking out if the babysitting-thing isn’t a list to get to Laura or something,” he finally gave in. “Or to get to you,”

I quickly hugged him tightly, earning a small chuckle from him as he hugged me into his side. “Thank you!”

“No problem. But I swear, if he hurts Laura or you… He’ll be dinner for the wolves in the zoo!”

“Oh don’t act like you even dare to go to the wolves. The only place you work at are the penguins and the fishes. Even the sharks are too wild for you, so don’t act tough.” I joked. He laughed and shook his head.

“Hey, little Penguin. You up for some fun with a friend?” he asked straight towards the little brunette that was almost dressed perfectly.

“Why were you even dressing her up?”

“I was planning on taking her with me to the boys, but well… first I hoped you would be home for her, but seeing you took a lot of time to just talk to Harry, I thought maybe you won’t be back like last time till the next morning, so that’s why I dressed her up a bit. She can’t be in her Pj’s when she’s at my boys right? That would be weird.”

I gaped at him and picked Laura up in my arms, protectively. “You were about to take her to those punkers? Are you out of your mind? Dude, that you even dare to think a play date with Harry’s nephew would be more dangerous than those psychos!” he rolled his eyes and kissed Laura’s forehead.

“She would be perfectly fine. Like I said, I take care of my princess and well, one of them really likes her.”

“Yeah, as dinner…”

“They aren’t cannibals, oh please Ni, you act like your friends are even better.”

“They are! Louis wouldn’t ‘joke’ about cooking her with some butter and ketchup!”

“He was just joking,”

“Didn’t look like joking to me! Luke he had already his knife and fork in his hands!”

“Oh can we stop about this? We already agreed to you going to that freak okay?”

“Whatever. C’mon, Angel. We’re going to play with a friend yay!” Laura giggled and kissed my cheek. I bounced her up a bit on my side, making her giggle even more and Luke just smiled at us.

“Okay, fine. You can go without me checking up on you guys. I trust you, but only if you promise to call me right if he tries something with you or if he hurts you! I’ll come and break his neck and all his bones while his own eyes are watching!”

“You definitely scare me more than that horror movie we watched last time…” Luke laughed a bit and shook his head. “Okay well, I’m going then, seeing that Harry will be here pretty soon. Going to change into something less… yours,” I said, making him roll his eyes and take Laura over.

“Okay, but if I was you, I would go in a jogging with a very loose top,”

“You want me to look ugly?”

“No, but we’re talking about boys. You know what I say. When you meet up with boys, dress as loose and comfortable as you can.”

“You’re an idiot! I’m going to pull on a sweater of mine. Purple isn’t my colour..”

“What _is_ your colour even?”

“Hmm… good point… Anyway, if he’s here, let him in! Don’t kill him before I even had the chance to say hi!” I said as I ran up the stairs.

“Can’t promise anything!” I rolled my eyes and started to search through my clothes for something to wear. Once I found it, I quickly changed and went to look in the mirror. My hair was poking in every direction… Ugh, I did my best to get it into a sort of quiff. Or well, actually just something that looked like it was standing upright a bit. 

I succeed eventually in that and went downstairs. “Hey look at you. You don’t look like you just had sex anymore.” Luke said. He was standing in the kitchen –which I  just entered- and smiling at me. “By the way, here.” He passed me a little bottle with: ‘Gucci Guilty’ written in beautiful letters.

“Huh?” he laughed and shook his head.

“That’s my favourite cologne. Maybe you should try it yeah? I bet that freak will love to be in your personal space then.”

“Thought you didn’t like him?”

“I don’t. But I like you and I love that cute little smile of yours when you think, talk or even dream about him,” he admitted. I smiled and nodded. He came closer to me and basically put the cologne on me. “Like this, he will definitely smell you. I mean, normal people meet with a hug or something, and if you have some perfume behind your ear or on your neck, they always smell it,” he basically explained.

“Oh, uh thanks!” The bell rang, and I slightly panicked. Not really hard, just a bit. “Uh, I should go. C’mon, pretty brown eyes! We’re going to play!” Laura bounced up in excitement and grinned at me, her hair slightly waving.

I picked her up and walked to the door, opening it with one hand, seeing Harry there. “BE CAREFUL NI!” I heard Luke yell. I just shut the door and smiled up at Harry who was grinning down at Laura.

“Boo!” Laura said childish.

“Hey there.” Harry smiled back at the little thing in front of his face. She took his head in her hands again and kissed his nose. “Yeah, I know you like me. I’m likeable. Just. Like. You.” He said, every word was a little tap on her nose. He smiled some more before looking up to me, showing off the exact same smile. “Hi,” he said.

“Hey. Ready to go?”

“Of course.” 

_Here we go..._


	30. Thirty

"Harry! Oh God what took you so- Oh hi there," Harry's sister, Gemma said till she noticed me.

"Hey, Gem. Yeah, sorry brought a friend with me, you know, someone to keep your monster alive..."

"Oh Harry don't act like Milan is a devil! He's a sweetheart. We couldn't be happier with such a lovely child!" Harry rolled his eyes and laughed.

"He's Satan himself. Don't act like you make perfect babies. Now, you still want me to babysit that thing or not?"

Gemma looked at me and smiled at little Laura. "As long as blondie here is with you, I trust it," she said, pinching Laura's little cheek, making her giggle all over again.

"Fine, he's staying anyway. Now where is that thing of yours?" Harry walked in and said 'hi' to, what I suppose is, Gemma's boyfriend, father of her child.

"That _Thing of mine_ is in the living room, playing with his cars and his other toys. Don't hurt him, last time I checked you almost hit him." I gaped at Harry who just shrugged.

"Yeah, well if that thing didn't try to get his car toy in my leg so he could play doctor with me, then I wouldn't have ever thought about it, so it's basically his fault! And just so you know it, I never touched your baby in the first place. Phuh!" Gemma rolled her eyes and smiled back to me.

"He's a bit grumpy because last time Milan was a little enthusiast to play. He just loves Harry, I don't see why Harry hates him so much. Anyway, I hope you have some fun here. If this little sweetheart is tired or hungry, you can always put her in the guest bed or give her some food from the kitchen. I guess everything my little Milan likes, will be just good enough for this sweetheart." She smiled. "Now, we'll be back before midnight. See you then lil bro! Don't kill Milan!"

"Can't promise anything!"

Gemma sighed and chuckled. "Take care of my baby."

"I will make sure Milan is fine."

"I was talking about Harry, I already know Milan is fine by you, it's Harry that makes me a bit worried... Anyway have a nice day and you know, you can leave whenever you want. I just hope you stay as long as possible, because I don't honestly trust Harry alone with Milan when it's late," I nodded and walked in when she and her lover walked out. "Well, see you all later!" she called before closing the door.

I sighed and walked further in, basically looking for Harry. "Now, where is our little grumpy head, huh?" I asked Laura, making her giggle for the millionth time. "Let's go find him, yeah? And let's see if Milan, your new friend is here somewhere, too." She laughed and nodded her head, hiding her face in the crook of my neck. She's such a cutie.

"Hawwy!" I heard a very cute voice yell.

"Oh no, not you!" That was Harry's voice...

I walked up to the place where I heard the voices, only to find Harry sitting on the couch, a little cute boy, almost looking like the younger version of Harry, sitting on the ground next to him, acting like he's Harry. Harry was sitting, arms folded over his chest and little Milan did just the exact same.

"I hate him," Harry said, glaring at the little kid.

"I hate him," Milan said, just staring in front of him, since he had no idea what Harry was actually doing. Once he noticed Harry had probably changed position, he looked up and stood up, climbing on the couch before sitting down again in the same position Harry was in.

"You see that, Lau? Two grumpy cats," I joked, making Laura laugh.

Laura's laugh must have taken little Milan's attention, because he stopped mocking Harry and stood up from the couch, walking over to Laura as I put her down. "Hey, chicky. I'm Milan. Wanna see my cars?" He asked, sunglasses on his little nose as he did, sounding all cool. I had trouble holding in my laugh when he did.

Laura looked unimpressed and just looked up to me, asking to pick her up again with a pleading look. Oh, I wish they would always stay like this... "No, Lau. Play with Milan. I'm sure you'll love it, and if anything is wrong, me and Harry will be in the kitchen for some time. Seeing you both need dinner," I explained. She nodded and looked back at Milan, sticking her hand out for him to shake.

He took her hand in his and placed a kiss on top of her hand. Oh god, what a little charmer! "Enchanté, madame," he said.

"He really reminds me of you, you know?" I said, looking up to Harry who was watching the two.

"Yeah, at least he has something from me. I mean, he has the looks a bit and he knows how to seduce woman, but still... a kid that tried to kill me isn't a kid I like," he huffed. I just rolled my eyes and looked for a second back to the two, before pulling Harry with me to the kitchen.

"We have to make dinner for them and us, so we better get started."

He gave me a look that said everything... "What do you think about Chinese? I know a great restau-"

"No Harry! The kids needs something at least they can eat, I mean, Laura still has some troubles with her teeth. She already lost one, which is way too early for a kid, don't give them things that kids don't eat! Oh God, I'm already scared for your son in the future!"

"Nah, he will be a great womanizer! And I'll be proud of him!"

"What if it's a girl?"

"Then my partner will take care of her..."

"You're horrible! Look at Laura, she's a star. She's so fantastic!"

"But that's because she's in no way related to me. Believe me, look at my sister... That happens when you're a girl and related to me..." I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"Anyway, what shall we make?"

"I'm thinking of spaghetti. Easy and yummy."

"You're crazy. But sure." We didn't even start, or Laura was already pulling at my jeans. I looked down and picked her up. "What's wrong, Lau?" I asked.

She pouted and hugged me. "Not like Milan." She said.

"Awe, love of course you like him. Hey, what if you ask him really sweet if you can watch Barbie together yeah?" She nodded, but didn't look all too happy. Maybe she really doesn't like Milan... poor thing. I put her down again and she ran off to the living room again. "I'm just going to take a quick look to what's wrong with Milan and Laura. Normally she's really easy with kids her age... I don't know what's wrong." I said, earning a small: "Yeah" from Harry. I rolled my eyes and followed Laura into the living room.

"Barbie?" Laura asked once she came back to Milan.

"Yeah, okay. You wanna watch?" Laura nodded cutely her head and smiled. Milan smiled too and helped her up the couch before going to the TV, putting it on and going back to get on the couch himself. He seemed to be pretty easy with technology... I mean, Ariel is also 4 and even she doesn't know how to put on a TV. Well... they seem to be getting along... finally...

I walked back into the kitchen and got up behind Harry in attempt to scare him. My hands grabbed his hips as I softly yelled, not too loud,: "Boo!"

Because of that, he let something fall back to the counter and jumped up a little, to turn around. He glared a little at me, but that soon vanished. "Don't make me hate you more than that thing in the living room," he warned.

"And... what if I do?"

"Then we aren't friends anymore," he said.

"Oh, well, that's sad, because... I have a lot of friends... but when was the last time you checked your contacts to only find your family, Liam and me...?" I challenged.

He smirked and came closer to me. His hands on my waist as he slowly, but surely stepped forward, making me walk in the same direction till my back hit the wall. I felt my heartbeat quicken as he leaned in to my ear. "Don't make me do things I will regret, yeah?" he warned before stepping back away from me and going to the big island in the middle of the kitchen where he sat down and started to cut some tomatoes.

I swallowed thickly before sitting next to him. "Need help with that?" I asked. He nodded and got back up to get whatever he needed.

...

It took a lot of time to do the basic things of making spaghetti, but after almost everything was done, Harry suddenly cut himself, pretty deep.

"Fuck!" he yelped. Holding onto his hand. I looked up from the pan I was hovering over and rushed to Harry's side.

"What happened?" I asked, sounding worried as I tried to take a look at his hand.

He didn't let me at first, his eyes clenching shut before he let me take his hand in mine. I quickly opened it a bit, but some blood was dripping from the palm of it. Ew... blood... "Fuck, it hurts Ni." I literally panicked there for a second, but found my cool back once I remembered, this happened to my mom too. One day she was-

_Not now Niall!_

Oh yeah...

I quickly got a towel from the counter and wrapped it around his hand to stop the blood from spoiling. Oh god, we need to go to the hospital...

With a swift move, I got my phone out and called Louis. "Hey, Nialler! What's u-"

"Harry needs to go to the hospital, please come to the address I'll text you in a second. You need to take care of Laura and Milan. Please Lou!" I begged, yelling in the phone.

"Uh, isn't Laura Luke's sister?"

"Yes! Louis not now please!"

"Uh, yeah. She likes me. Why not? Why isn't she with Luke?"

"He went out, Lou, c'mon please! Rush to here! Now!"

"Okay, be there in a few once you text me the address," he said before ending the call. I quickly texted the address and went into the living room to find Laura sleeping against Milan's side, his arm smoothly wrapped around her shoulder as he was sleeping too, his sunglasses still on even though we're inside...

The bell rang literally 7 minutes later, and I rushed to the door, opening it quickly to let Louis in. "Hey, what happened?"

"Harry has cut himself in his hand by accident and it's bleeding so hard, don't think any of us would be able to even help him, so he needs to go to the hospital. I'm taking him. Please, take care of Laura and Milan, they're both sleeping so that should be easy. Okay?" Louis nodded and went inside the living room of Gemma and her boyfriend before me and Harry ran out.

...

Nervously, I sat in one of those hospital chairs, waiting till they were done with Harry. How can he be such an idiot?! Ugh...

"Niall?" Oh, no... please don't sa- "What in hell's name are you doing here young man? Shouldn't you be babysitting Laura? Is she okay? Oh wait, you're my son. Are you okay?" Mom asked worriedly, kneeling down in front of me.

"I'm okay, mom. Laura is with Louis and Milan. Louis is taking care of the both of them but they are sleeping anyway, so no need to worry about them. I'm fine too. It's Harry. He has cut his hand by accident and it was bleeding so much and it was so deep, that I panicked and took him here. I guess he's alright. I'm just waiting now. Louis' texting me. keeping an update about the two little kids. So don't worry," I explained. She nodded and smiled before going with her hand through my hair.

"Tell him, baby."

I gave her a confused look and she laughed. "What?"

"Tell him you like him. I know you do. I almost see love in your eyes. You care so much about Harry, is that even possible? You never looked at me like that. Not even at Louis, or that Zayn guy. You never looked at anyone with ... so much passion and love. Even when you just talk about him, your eyes get this little spark and your pupils are blown. That means you're in love."

"No, that means I'm pretty horny at times."

She rolled her eyes and smacked my arm. "Don't talk like that. Niall, why don't you just give in already? I've never seen you like this. You care so much about Harry. And, I don't know what I have to do as mother to let you realise that maybe you should tell Harry how much you care about him? I mean, I'm only a mother. I only want you to be happy. And I know that if you don't tell him... you won't ever be able to do so. So next time you see him, tell him how worried you were. Because I can just see it in your eyes. You were so worried that you would have a small panic attack from just thinking about the things that could have gone wrong." God... Sometimes I hate the fact mothers are always right...

"Thanks Ma. Now, go and work. I'm holding you up," I said before hugging her swiftly. She chuckled and stood back up, going to God knows where...

"Hey." I heard Harry's voice. My head shot up and I blushed as our eyes locked for a second.

"Hey," I whispered softly.

"Uhm... My hand is better now."

"Great."

"Yeah... uh, thanks Ni."

"For what?"

"Taking me to the hospital," he answered, making it sound like I'm a fool.

"Anytime. I thought you were going to bleed to death..." I admitted truthfully.

He smiled weakly and took a seat next to me for a second. "I heard you talk to your mom, you know?"

"Oh." Was all I could say to that.

"Yeah... And uh... I care for you too, you know? I mean, mothers are mostly just embarrassing their child, but, I know you care about me, and I just wanted to say, I care about you too. This is a bit awkward, isn't it?" I smiled and shook my head. "Anyway, let's go. Milan is probably making a move on Louis too..." he laughed and that only made me worry just a bit more...

...

"You're back!" Louis said happy, pulling me into a hug. "God, Milan is such an annoying kid! I mean, he got style, but he doesn't have to try his moves on me. Gosh. He's what? 5?"

"4,"

"Oh my..." He said dramatically as he pulled away.

"Yeah, now get out of here you. Not that I don't want you here... It's just-"

"Yeah yeah, I get it. Same with me and Luke. Sometimes you just need some alone time... I get it."

"No Lou, it's not li-"

"Bye!" he said before walking out.

I sighed and walked into the living room, seeing Laura playing with Milan and his car toys. I cooed and they both looked up. "Kitty! I like cars!" Laura said. Wow... that's the most perfect sentence she ever said... I'm impressed. Leave her alone with little Casanova and she's a pro in talking...

"Oh well, I'm happy to hear that, baby. Have you two been good while Harry and I were gone?" I asked. They both nodded and smiled.

"Yeah, Louis was nice. We ate spaghetti, because he said we could." I smiled down at Milan who was proudly looking back to me.

"Of course you two could. We made it for you two anyway." Milan nodded and Laura yawned a bit. "Are you tired, love?" I asked Laura, kneeling down in front of her. She nodded a bit before looking sleepily at Milan. The little cool-kid smiled and nodded before helping her back onto the couch, laying a little blanket over the both of them and letting her rest on his little -still forming- chest.

That was like the cutest ever!

I walked back to the kitchen and sat next to Harry. "Hey. Are you hungry?" he asked. I nodded and smiled as he stood up and went to the microwave before warming up some spaghetti the three had left over. Louis had probably eaten some too, because there was too much out of the bowl to say he didn't...

Once the microwave beeped, signing that it was warm enough, Harry got the spaghetti out of it and put it in front of me, only one fork and one spoon in it. "Hey, aren't you eating anything?" I asked.

He shook his head and smiled. "Can't. There's not enough for two. But eat, I'm not even hungry." I felt bad because now he can't even eat anything. I started to eat anyway, but once he sat down next to me again, I stopped myself from putting the fork in my mouth again and held it out for him. He protested at first, but after I stayed like that, my fork almost poking in his eye, he finally gave in and opened his mouth so I could basically feed him. "Hmm. It's actually good. We're a great team in the kitchen!" he mumbled with food in his mouth.

I shook my head, laughing a bit. "We pretty much are, yeah." I admitted. He just smiled and let me feed myself again.

Every now and then, he stole my fork and ate some, but I didn't care at all. It was cute and well... Harry looked sexy, stealing the fork when my hand was still around it, basically letting me feed him without me even doing shit...

...

"Awe, they're sleeping. Gosh they're cute!" Harry whisper-yelled as he saw little Laura and Milan sleeping on each other.

I smiled and got closer to Harry so I could whisper in his ear: "Let's put them in bed for a while. It's only 8pm and I don't want to do nothing till your sister is back," I said. He nodded and went to Milan, picking him up in his arms like a protective father. He would be such a great father. He just has to shut his big mouth. Trying to sound so though and all. He's actually just a big softy.

I followed Harry up the stairs with Laura in my arms and went into the same room where he had put little Milan down. That little bed was big enough for the both of them and even a third would fit, but two kids is already enough...

We walked back down the stairs after I made sure they would both sleep for at least an hour or so. Harry lay down on the couch, leaving no space for me. "Hey, I'm not sitting on the ground!" I protested. Harry just looked up from the TV, he had just changed from channel and smirked.

"Never said you have to." He simply answered.

"I'm not sitting on you either."

"Then you have only the ground as company."

"So... you're making me sit on the floor? After all I've done for you? I drove you all to the hospital! It's so exhausting and now the only thing I ask for is to sit on the couch, and then you say I can't? I feel so used," I fake sobbed.

"You can't act." He lamely said.

I rolled my eyes and sat on the little spot on the couch in front of his belly. It was an uncomfortable position, but at least I got what I wanted. I was sitting on the couch.

Before I really knew it, his hands wrapped around my waist and he pulled my up on him, making me lie on his body. I wanted to protest, but he shushed me by just putting his hand in front of my mouth. I started to lick it, but he didn't stop. "Licking my hand won't help. Besides you don't want to know where that hand has been." I quickly stopped and cringed. _EW!_ "Now let's just watch! It's the Avengers." He said. I sighed but nodded, letting my head rest on his chest.

It's not that I didn't enjoy this. I mean, god I would murder Jesus and his whole family for just this moment, but... the fact it didn't mean shit to Harry, really didn't make this all too special.

...

I sat myself up, straddling Harry as I did and smiled down. Harry looked up from the screen where once 'the avengers' was playing on. The movie just ended and I didn't want to watch whatever was coming after that movie.

"Hi," he said, a dimpled smile was placed on his beautiful face. He's flawless... I poked one dimple, answering with a short 'hey' as I did. "What are you doing?" he suddenly asked.

"I'm sitting on your crotch while poking your dimples. What about you?"

"I'm just enjoying the fact I don't have to do shit and I'm enjoying a moment with my best friend." My heart made a little jump at the fact he said we were best friends.

_Lol! You're friend-zoned!_

Ugh... you just don't give me one second of happiness, now do you?

I sighed a bit, thinking about all the things I would love to do with him, even though he has no idea about it... "What's bothering you?" he asked me.

"Nothing. Just... thinking."

"About?"

"You." I said truthfully.

He nodded and smiled weakly as his hand went to mine -the one that wasn't holding me up- and locked our fingers. "Am I the one that causes you to sigh that hard?"

I smiled and shook my head. "No, just worried about your hand. 's all." He nodded, taking in my lie. "How late is it?" I asked.

He looked at his watch and showed it to me. '9.11'. ugh...

"You want to learn something more?" he suddenly asked. My heartbeat started to quicken for a second and I must have been 50 shades of red.

"I don't know, the kids-"

"One, you sound like a mother. Two, they won't wake up. And if they do, we hear it. Besides, it's not like we're doing anything that's inappropriate anyway. I just need to do something, because I'm bored and when I teach you, at least I do something useful." I nodded, pretty much understanding his logic.

"Okay. What have we left to learn?"

"Oh, you have no idea... so much... but I'm not teaching you everything, like I said. You have porn for most of the things, but I can try and teach you about some things maybe? Anyway, I basically thought about a sort of... Scheme I made up... so we do things in a chronologic way. We had the talking. The kissing. The making-out. Normally then we have the undressing part, and well you know. But before you even do any of that with your lover, you have to at least pleased yourself once before. You gave yourself a handjob before, right?"

My eyes widened a bit and I blushed crimson red before nodding. I literally did that just this morning! Oh my...

"By the look of your face, you did that recently." He laughed at my awkwardness, and I really wish I wasn't sitting on his gun right now... "Okay, anyway, that's great. It's important so you know what you like and what not. I don't know with who you're going to be in the future, but... I'm hoping for you that he bottoms."

Oh god, also that... I think I'm not feeling well anymore...

"Don't worry. If he doesn't it's not as bad as it always sounds, I mean I guess. Maybe you should ask Louis? By the looks of it, he definitely doesn't top." And I'm not going to tell him that, he'll be offended... and he'll do his best to show he can top too...

"Yeah... I'm not asking such things." I quickly said, making him laugh.

"Well, then you'll have to find out about it yourself, darling," he said. _DARLING!_ "But, you're gay right?"

"Is that even a question?"

He laughed and shook his head. "Well, then I'm sure you've already fingered yourself?"

I choked on my own spit. "Say that again?"

He frowned and looked a bit lost. Like a little cute lost puppy with green eyes and curly brown hair. "I'm sorry. I just assumed you did...? I mean, all my exes had already done that..."

"I'm no girl."

"I know, I didn't mean it like that, I just... okay can we stop about me and focusing on you again, yeah?" I nodded, smiling proudly to the fact I could make him uncomfortable. "Okay, great. So... you do realize we have to talk about a lot of stuff, even after that awkward conversation we had at first right?"

I groaned and gave him my best puppy look. "But I don't want to anymore. I hate awkward conversations..."

He chuckled and let his hand slip up my chest to cup my cheek, his eyes never leaving mine. "The conversations are so you at least know what I'm about to do," He said.

I nodded and smiled. "Can you uh... make-out with me again?" I suddenly asked. I cursed at myself for asking such a thing! "Oh, no I'm so sorry. It just slipped from my li-" He pressed his lips against mine to shut me up, I guess and pulled me down as he let his head lower again, resting on the arm of the couch.

The kiss turned into something very hot in less than 10 seconds and I could feel my tongue going over his lips this time, me asking for permission to enter his mouth. He parted his lips, only to push past my tongue and my lips as he invaded my mouth. His tongue licked at literally every corner of my mouth, tasting every part of it and I just let him, enjoying this just as much as I would love to do the exact same to his.

There were some noises by the door and I felt my heart quicken again. I quickly pulled back and got off of Harry, just in time for Gemma and her boyfriend to enter the house, some snow on their coats and hair. "We're home!" she said happily. I smiled once the entered the living room and walked past them, up the stairs to get to Laura.

"Hey baby. We're going home, yeah? C'mon," I said as I picked Laura up in my arms. Smiling a bit as she opened her eyes, only to stop me from picking her up. She quickly kissed Milan's cheek and looked up at me with lazy and sleepy eyes. "Well if you don't love him, then I don't know it anymore," I joked.

When I got everything and Harry was ready too, we said our goodbye to them and went to his car, getting in quickly. I took Laura on my lap so she wouldn't have to worry to sit upright in the backseat. "I'll drive you home okay?" I nodded and he started the car, driving back to my house. Once we arrived, I looked up at him, seeing him already staring at me back.

"I had a pretty great day, okay well except the hospital part. Are you sure you're okay to drive back?"

"I'm sure, really. I had a great day too, despite the fact that little monster was flirting way too much to my discomfort. I mean, sure he's a lady's man, but that doesn't mean he has to steal all my moves! C'mon, even my lame ways to get a girl was used on Laura today." He said. I chuckled and shook my head in response. "I'll see you tomorrow then?" he asked.

"I definitely see you tomorrow,"

"Bye, Ni."

"Bye, Harry."

I entered the house, getting Laura safe in bed, before I got into my own room. Luke woke up, and only smiled shortly at me. I got in my bed and dimmed the light to sleep. Only when I was about to turn to my side, I could feel someone press his lips to my forehead, whispering soft: "I'm glad you're alright and safe. Good night, little brother."

And that's all it took for me to drift to Neverland...

_A peaceful and maybe dirty dream on its way..._


	31. Thirty One

_“No! Leave me alone!” I yelled. I was terrified. How is it even possible for someone dumber than me, to have such sick idea’s?_

_“Oh, but baby, I thought you always gagged for my dick huh?” My eyes started to water, making my view blurry. My body was placed on the bed in ‘The Cube’, butt-naked and freezing cold. Wrists were tied to the bed and even my ankles were tied up. I felt exposed. That’s the least I can say._

_“Please, don’t!” My throat hurt from all the screaming and yelling and my head was feeling heavy, too._

_“Don’t what?” he asked, his finger tracing down my chest._

_“Don’t touch me!”_

_My sobbing became uncontrollable and my breathing hitched back in my throat, every now and then. “Oh, but darling, you have nothing to want right now. Maybe you should have thought about all that could happen, before you started to be a queer huh? Now you wish you never were born like a fag, now don’t you?”_

_His hand went to my cheek, patting it a few times, before he slapped down really hard. I yelped in pain and I could feel myself losing my consciousness. “Please,” I begged, but he didn’t show mercy._

_Once I saw blackness taking over my blurry view, I felt being back in ease… “Fag? Niall?”_

“Hey Niall!”

I jumped up, breathing heavily as I did and looked around the room. It was a bit dark, but my bedside lamp gave us some light. I quickly looked at Luke, he was looking worriedly at me, hovering over my body as he did. “Fuck,” slipped out of my mouth in one long breath.

He sat down on my bed, a weak smile on his face as he hugged me closer to his body. “It’s okay. Just a stupid dream. I’m here yeah? I won’t ever let anything get to you. I’ll protect you yeah? From murders, thieves even monsters if I had to. I’m here yeah?” Sometimes… I’m really happy my mom decided to move in with these crazy, but lovely people. I couldn’t ask for a better family. Well… till I get my own of course…

“Thanks,” I whispered in his chest.

We stayed like that for a while, him softly swaying us from side to side, till I fell back asleep.

…

“Ugh, you’re cheating aren’t you? I know you are! You can’t win every time! That’s impossible.” Luke groaned as Louis, Luke and I were playing Mario Cart. Louis had won already all the games, I was always second and sometimes third because, well we’re not the only ones playing. The game always makes you play with 12 players.

Louis laughed and let his head rest on Luke’s shoulder. “I’m sorry baby. I’m just good in this game.”

“It’s okay. Must say, your player looks good in a pink dress. I’m wondering how you’ll look in it…”

“Well then we’ll have to try that one day, don’t we?” Louis teased. I must say, my stepbrother dating my best friend…. Is just making me sick…

Luke climbed on top of Louis, hovering over him as he leaned down a bit. “Hmmm, kinky.” He said before kissing Louis, making me almost throw up right there and then.

“Ew, gross! Guys!”

They pulled apart and Luke sat down again. Luckily I wasn’t on the same couch this time… would’ve been stuck between them…  “Sorry, bro. Hormones,” Luke said, letting Louis snuggle in his side.

“Well my hormones don’t wanna see that, or hear that, ever again. So please, don’t,” I spat, starting the game all over again, so I could at least win this time. They can kiss as much as they want, just soundless and when I don’t see it.

“You’re such a kid, really. I bet you do more with your precious Harry than we do.” Louis started defending them.

“Harry and I didn’t do shit, yet!” I basically lied. Blood went up to my cheeks a bit and I smiled a little down at my hands at the thought of Harry and I kissing, making out and the love-bite.

“Didn’t do shit. You hear that, babe? Our little kid has probably done all the way alrea-“

“Lou!” I sighed and got up. For a second I went to the bathroom, taking a wee and putting on some of Luke’s cologne, before walking back to the door to get my jacket and my shoes.

“Where are you going?” Luke asked.

“Anywhere but here.” With that, I opened the door and slammed it shut, going to my car that’s still crap. Then I remembered… Why not using Luke’s car?

I walked back in and went to the living room, where the two were already swallowing each other… They pulled apart and Louis smirked. “Forgot something?”

“Luke, can I borrow your car? Please?”

“Ni, you know it’s a really expensive o-“

“I know, but please! My car is crap and I still don’t have enough money, it’s tomorrow the end of the month, then I get my money and I already figured out, in exact 5 more months, I finally have enough to buy that beauty I told you about. So please?”

Luke thought for a moment, but sighed. “Oka-“

“Yes!”

“Wait! It’s okay, _If_ and only _if_ you’re careful and don’t fuck in my car. Because then I’ll ruin you.”

“If you touch Niall, I’ll touch you in another way of your liking,” Louis said, looking pretty serious.

“I was just saying babe. It’s not like I mean it, really I love Niall. He’s my bro you know, but I just mean, be careful and I want him back before tomorrow evening, going out with Lou here.” Luke said the last part towards me.

“I will make sure to be careful, have your car back and dude… I’m not like Lou, I don’t fuck in cars.” And when Luke tossed me the keys, I thanked him and walked out, getting into his perfect baby blue car.

…

Nervous. I was getting a bit nervous, but I just needed to be somewhere and well yeah, I can’t go to The Cube because I don’t know where that really is and I can’t go anywhere else, because I’m sure Danny will be somewhere there too... So I walked up to the gates and rang the bell, waiting a few seconds till there was a beep and a voice through the speaker. “Who are you and what do you want?”

“N-Niall. Niall Horan.” I answered a bit scared.

“Oh, hi Ni! Wait, I’ll open the gates.” It was Harry’s voice.

I waited a few seconds till the gates started to open. With even more nerves, I walked inside and up to the big white door. Once I came there, the door opened, right in time when I was just about to rang again. “Hi,” he said, letting me in.

“H-Hey,” I stuttered a little.

He smiled and led me to the living room, his hand on the small of my back when he did. “Why are you here? I mean, not to sound rude, but normally you just… Don’t…” he said, making me frown a bit. He doesn’t want me to be here? Or is that just me taking this the wrong way?

“Louis and Luke are gross, so I needed an escape and I didn’t know where else to go. I mean, I don’t know where The Cube is and I don’t want to walk alone somewhere, because I’m a bit scared Danny would find me,” I admitted, telling the complete truth.

“What about Zayn? I mean, isn’t that where you normally go?”

“Normally I go to Louis, but now he’s the one I’m hiding from. And Zayn totally slipped out of my mind.”

“Yeah, well it’s not that I don’t want you here. We were meeting up anyway, weren’t we? I was just a bit surprised to see you here. Anyway, want something to drink?” I shook my head and smiled at the kind offer. “You sure? Oh, by the way, nice car you got. Thought you had that crappy shit?”

“It’s Luke’s.”

“All the nice things you have are from Luke… Do you even have your own underwear?” he asked and I must say, that hurt…

“U-uh…. Yes, but. I mean. Not everything is from him. Only the cool stuff. I’m sparing money for a new car, but till then, I’m using or the crappy shit or Luke’s,” I explained. He nodded and sat down, leaving place for me to sit.

Once I took place next to him, he smiled and I did the same. “Sorry to bother you. I just don’t really like seeing my stepbrother and best friend swallow each other and  try to create new life…” I apologized for… nothing.

“You don’t bother at all. I wasn’t even doing anything interesting. Anyway I get why you don’t want to see that. It’s… a bit weird. And you always feel lonely if someone else has someone to kiss and cuddle with and you don’t.” Yup.. that hurt…

I nodded and smiled a bit. “So, plans for today?”

“Hanging around with you. What about you?”

“Probably hanging around with you, seeing you already decided to annoy me.” He laughed and I joined him pretty quick.

“Okay, I want to show you something,” he said. Me being the dirty boy, immediately thought about something else… Big…

_NIALL!_

He stood up from the couch and held out his hand for me. It was a kind offer, but… a bit weird. I took it anyway and followed him up the stairs and into a random room. I looked around, finding something I wouldn’t think I would ever find in a house that’s actually from Harry… This was way too perfect to be something Harry would do. I’m shocked, to say the least. “I don’t know if you like it. It’s just something actually no one knows about me. Or well at least, no one knows I try it. It’s not because you try  things, that you’re good, so I just try it,” he laughed a bit.

“Harry, this is so… wow. I never expected you to uh… Wow…”

“I know, pretty shocking right? It’s not something people would expect me to do. I guess that’s mostly the reason why I do it. I mean, I’m more than a pretty face and muscles.” He looked so at ease in this room.

I took a quick look around in the room. Everywhere were beautiful paintings and drawing. Unrealistic places. Beautiful places too. Places I don’t think exist, but they’re good and beautiful. Also dark, empty drawings. Like one that caught my attention the most. It was a simple drawing. A black room, yet there was light on just one chair that was placed in the middle of the room. It was beautiful, yet so… deep. I almost felt pain in my heart from just the empty looking drawing.

“H-Harry…. This is, wow,” I said as I held a drawing that was hanging in my fingertips. “You’re so talented. Why don’t you show this to others? You’re more than great. This… this looks as if it’s all just real…” I could feel his left hand on my left side as he stood half behind – half next to me. His other hand held the drawing too, looking at it. It was then that I finally noticed our high difference. Harry is a bit taller than I. Gosh… That’s even more sexy.

His hand gripped my side a bit tighter, but not in a hurting way and he looked a bit down at me, his eyes meeting mine once I looked back up at him as I felt his gaze on me. He smiled softly before looking back at any other drawing of him. There were thons and thons of drawings. It’s unbelievable. “I draw when I feel some sort of emotion that I never felt before. Mostly when I’m in a bad mood or something, but there are some drawings or paintings when I felt really happy,” he explained.

“What were you feeling when you drew this?” I asked, still looking at the same drawing that was in my hand.

“I don’t know. Just happiness in general. I felt at ease. Calm and well yeah, good. The warm colours are because it was a good feeling. You can basically see that in all my creations. When it was a bad feeling, it was always dark. Grey, white and black are the colours I use then. And when it’s a good feeling, it’s mostly full of colour,” he answered.

I turned around a bit and smiled. “Harry, you’re amazing. Talented. You’re perfect. These drawings and paintings, I would never be able to be this good. Really. You should show the world how fantastic these are.” Harry looked down for a second, before looking back up in my eyes. His lips between his teeth and a little twinkle in his eyes.

“I don’t know. I’m not that good. It’s just toying around, seeing which colours match and which not. I’m really not that good, Niall.”

“Now you’re going to listen to me. You have no idea how good those are, do you? I’ve never seen anyone draw as good as you do. This is a piece of art, you’re holding you know? You may not see that, because it’s yours and everyone who makes something always isn’t happy about something, but you can’t say this isn’t good, because this is better than good. It’s fantastic Harry,” I said, my chest pressed against his a bit as I spoke from how close we were standing to one other.

He smiled at my words, his free hand going up to my neck before it slide away. He took a step back and looked around in his own room. “You know, I only am able to draw places. Never real stuff, or at least never things.”

“You have the depressive chair in the empty room,” I remarked clever, a proud smile on my face.

He chuckled and shook his head in amusement. “But that’s just a chair. I mean, I want to draw living things. Like animals. People. You.”

_Oh hold me, I think I’m gonna pass…_

“Me?”

“For example.” Yup… totally didn’t hurt… Note sarcasm…

“Oh, well, have you tried it?”

A sigh escaped his lips and he shook his head. “I know I will fail anyway.”

“You’re such a pessimist, gosh. If you can draw this, you can draw the world.”

He chuckled again and turned back to me, looking deeply in my eyes. “Well you’re an optimist.”

“Better that than always thinking so negative.” He nodded and smirked a bit, making me uncomfortable all of a sudden. “I want to try something with you, but I want you to be totally fine with it. No hesitating.” He suddenly said, making me even more uncomfortable, even scared. “Let’s go up to my room.” he added, before dragging me with him out of the ‘Art Room’ and into another one, it being Harry’s bedroom. 

**[Question]: What do you think will happen?**


	32. Thirty Two

_"I want to try something with you, but I want you to be totally fine with it. No hesitating." He suddenly said, making me even more uncomfortable, even scared. "Let's go up to my room." he added, before dragging me with him out of the 'Art Room' and into another one, it being Harry's bedroom._

He closed the door behind him and went up to the bed, my hand still in his making me follow like a dog. "What are you going to do with me?" I asked.

He turned around and eyed me up and down. "First, I'm going to lay you down on my bed," he said, doing just like that. My head was resting on the big pillow that was lying on his bed and my feet were both on the bed. "Then, I'm going to place myself on top of you." And again, he followed his own words, straddling me. "I'm going to touch you. In more ways you know exist, and I want you to tell me to stop whenever you feel uncomfortable. Say ' _red'_ when I have to stop. Because sometimes people say ' _stop'_ while they don't mean it," he said, his hands flat on my torso.

"Tell me what you do." Slipped out of my mouth.

"What?" he asked, confusion going through his whole body.

"When you're about do something, I want you to tell me what it is before you do it. Tell me exactly what you're going to do. I want to be prepared," I explained.

He nodded and smiled, going a bit down towards my ear with his lips. "I'm going to kiss you, if you're okay with that." I nodded, breathing out a small "Yes" before I felt him going back up a bit. "But first, I'm going to blindfold you."

"Red."

He chuckled a bit. "Like I promised before. I won't ever hurt you. I think, I just want to try this out, to find out something more about me, you know? I need to be sure of something first. I need to know if you trust me, because I can't do a thing if you don't trust me." I nodded and bit my lip, being very nervous about this all.

Beside us, was a little nightstand. On top of it was lying one of his ties, which was the thing he grabbed before looking back at me. "Don't tell me you're going to use that on me."

"But I am. Trust me Niall. I'm only going to make you feel.... Good. Not hurting. I promise." I nodded again and let him blindfold me afterwards. Once I was in total blackness, my senses had to take over completely. "I want you to stay still. Let me be your eyes and your muscles. You can only feel, talk, hear and taste. Got it?" I nodded, scared to even open my mouth.

This was so sexy and hot, yet frightening and very uncomfortable. "I'm going to kiss you now," he warned before I could feel his breath on my lips and slowly the softness of his plump and warm lips. We kissed for a couple of seconds, before his tongue poked my lips. I let him in immediately, letting him explore my mouth, just the way he wants it. I'm his.

His hips started to roll a bit on top of mine, creating some friction down there which I didn't like. My hands went up to his hips, just like I did the first time, but he stopped me, breaking the kiss. "No, let me."

"You're making me...uh... you know," I whined.

"I know. That's okay. Please, let me." I sighed before nodding, letting him have his way with me.

_Wait till you tell Louis or Luke about this._

Don't ruin this for me now!

His hips started to roll again, a bit rougher now. His lips back to mine, immediately making-out. Every now and then, a softy moan escaped my lips and disappeared in his mouth. Sometimes I could feel him grin against my mouth as I moaned out from pleasure, but I never really screamed or something like in those movies... "Can I unbutton your shirt?" he asked as he pulled away, his hips still rocking onto mine, making me grow a bit, just a tiny bit, but it was enough for me to go crazy.

My body didn't listen to my mind, as I nodded. "Great," he whispered, his hands to my chest as he unbuttoned the first button of my shirt. I'm actually happy I decided to wear a button-up shirt today...  Once the first buttons were open, he leaned down again, close to my ear. "I didn't know you had hair on your chest," he breathed out. "I like it," he added.

He unbuttoned the rest of my shirt too and left it open, his hands trailing down over my whole torso till he reached the band of my jeans. He stopped there, and a sigh of relieve left my lips. "Don't worry. You're not ready for that, just yet. I won't ever push you to things. That's why I wanted you to be blindfolded. So you just have to trust me. Seeing that you didn't safe-word yet, means I'm not harming you at all."

"I did use it once," I said.

"But that was before you knew this was going to be fun, wasn't it?"

"No comment." He laughed and I could feel him leaning down again. His breath in my neck, just on the spot he 'marked me' on. Shivers ran down my spine as I could feel his wet lips on the spot. "Oh," Slipped from my lips in pleasure yet surprise. He smirked against my skin and started to suck on the same spot, making it hurt a little. "Hurts," I said.

"Safe-word me if you can't take it." Was all he said before going back to my neck, sucking even harder. I could feel the blood rushing to the spot, leaving the feeling as if he's going to suck my blood through my skin. I must admit, the blindfolds make me feel everything 10 times stronger. I just hope nothing hurts, as in really bad. Won't like to feel that 10 times harder...

"H-Harry," I breathed out in almost pure bliss.

"Shhhh. It's alright. I'm done with your neck. Don't worry," he said, kissing the little mark again before pulling back all the way. "You're such a good boy, Ni. Would've thought you would at least safe-word me there. Didn't it hurt a lot?"

"Not a lot. Just a little, but it did hurt, yes."

"I'm so sorry, Ni. I promised to not hurt you. I'm sorry that I failed. I-"

"You didn't fail. I'm alright. It's the same as falling out of bed. It hurts, but not too bad."

"You sure I didn't hurt you all too much?"

"Not one bit."

"Great." He placed his hands back on my chest and rocked his hips again, harder than before and more steady, making me a bit harder. I groaned a bit from the friction down there. "You okay?" he asked. I breathed out a shaky "yes" before relaxing completely.

He did the same movements for a few more minutes till he stopped completely. "I'm going to stop now okay? I have some things to do before tomorrow and I didn't do shit for it, so we'll have to stop it here," he said.

"O-Okay," I answered sadly. "C-Can you uh... take off the uh.."

His hands went to the thing that was covering my eyes and pulled it down, making light flash in my eyes. They shut immediately and I could hear Harry's laugh southing the pain in my eyes. "Too light in here?" he asked, still laughing a bit.

"You're so mean. The least you could do was warn me about the light. My eyes are burning!" I whined, earning another laugh from Harry.

"Well, poor you. Now get up, I really have to do something."

"What's that something?"

"Open your eyes." _Weird._ I did as told, slowly this time, making sure my eyes could get used to the light again. Once they were completely open, they were met with Harry's green ones. "I never mentioned it, but you really have beautiful eyes. Icy blue. Nice," he said, making me blush. "Don't be ashamed." His thumb stroking my pink cheek. "C'mon, you should get going."

After I got everything, I walked out of the door, turning around just one last time. Harry was leaning against the doorframe, smirking a bit down at me. "You really should do something with your drawings and paintings. Really."

"Don't push me. If I ever decide to do shit with it, you'll be the first to hear. Now get going before I can't finish what I really have to do."

"What is it that's so important?"

"Nothing for you to worry about."

"Harry, I want to know!"

"No."

"Please?"

No."

" _Please?"_

"Why is it so important for you to know?"

"Please -p-p-please?"

 

"You're so annoying. I'll tell you tomorrow."

"Promise?"

"Can't promise shit."

"I hate you."

"Love you, too. Bye Ni."

"See yah." I said before the door was closed in my face.

_Ouch_ _!_

Yeah, what you say there buddy...

_..._

When I walked inside the house, a little frown on my face, I was welcomed with the happy smile of Laura. Soon after Laura followed a little girl. "Kitty! Kitty! Look! I have a friend!"

"I can see that, cutie," I said, kneeling down a bit in front of the little red haired girl. "Hey there. What's your name?"

"My name is Maya. I'm _this_ old," she said holding up 6 fingers. "That means I'm _this_ much older than Laura." She said, holding 2 fingers up this time, which is wrong, but let's not go there.

"Aw, so you're a bit older, huh?" She smiled and looked proudly at Laura. "Well, have fun you two. Hey, Lau? Have you seen your brother anywhere?" Laura pointed her little index finger to me, smiling proudly. "Yeah, I'm your brother too, but do you know where Luke is?"

She shook her head and held her hand out to Maya so she could run with her to God know where..

_Okay, nice... Now we know...Nothing._

"Luke?" I half yelled through the house, but no answer came. "Yo, bro?" Nothing... "Ma?" Also nothing.

Now you aren't going to tell me they left two kids of 6 and 3 alone. "C'mon! Guys!"

Something rushed down the stairs, and what appeared was something I wish I would've never seen in my life. But here I am, having the view burned on my retina. "Niall... oh uh wow, I didn't expect you to be back so soon. We uh, we thought you would be out a bit longer, you know?"

"Luke, please, get your clothes back on. By the way, we need to talk about leaving Laura and another kid alone down stairs. You know a lot of things can happen right?"

"We'll talk when I'm finished."

"No, ew don't finish that, oh God. I thought I escaped from you two, so I wasn't expecting to see this." And as if on cue, Louis walked down the stairs as casual as ever.

"Hey, Nialler. Had fun?"

"Not as much as you two had, as I can see." Louis just smirked and kissed Luke's shoulder. "Please, both of you, get dressed and be less gross yeah? You totally forgot about the two little kids here which is not okay."

"You're not my boss."

"Cut the sass, Lou. I'm serious."

"Gosh, someone didn't get it today," he just fired back, going up the stairs again and into Luke's and sadly mine too, room.

"Sorry, Ni. You were just gone and well yeah... You know it's life right?"

"Yeah yeah, and your hormones. Just get out of here and get dressed. I'll take care of the kids yeah?"

"You sound li-"

"I know, sorry. Just a bit annoyed."

"Sorry, Ni." He walked down the whole staircase and hugged me, only a thin towel separating us. "We'll talk when I'm dressed yeah?" I nodded and pulled away from the hug.

_..._

"Now, tell me, what's bugging you?" Luke asked as Louis and the little friend of Laura left.

"Nothing, it's just... I don't know it anymore with Harry. I mean, where do I stand? He's giving me all these signs, letting me know he actually does care about me, but then when he speaks, it comes out like I'm just there for no reason. Just there to be his laboratory animal or something."

"Do you feel used?"

I shrugged and sighed. "I don't know really. Somewhere I do, as if he just uses me to find out whatever shit he wants to find out. But then again, he's still sweet and carrying if he isn't on top of me or whatever."

"On top...? Does that mean...?"

"No! No really, we're not like you two. We just kissed and such, finding out what we like or some shit. I don't know what he calls it. But that's not even the point. I feel like I'm so much yet nothing towards him. I want to know what he feels when he's around me. But, every time when I want to ask, I chicken out and let him do whatever he wants out of embarrassment and shame."

"Can I ask you something?" I nodded and looked at him, waiting for the question. "Well, uhm... how far did you two already go?" he asked. Oh well, didn't see that coming..

I blushed a bit and looked down. "Well, we made-out. And he marked me once, which he made stronger today, and uhm... he had grinded down on me today... Why?" I said truthfully, yey wondering why he wanted to know that.

"Just curious. You know, when Louis and me do things, it's normal and not wrong, because we're together. But you and Harry aren't together, so in my opinion it would be weird. Lou would call it, you know. R.A.P.E. And well, he might be wrong about that, but, okay let me tell you this. Lou and I found out something today. We were well yeah trying to have sex, and it was all pretty perfect, till I tried to enter him. You know I'm always careful and I will always do everything to keep people safe and well, out of pain, but when I started to enter him, Niall, God, I couldn't control myself. Louis was almost a crying mess and I just couldn't stop. I felt horrible during it, but after he got used to it, well then it was all okay." I gave him a disgust look, pulling up my knees to my chest. "Sorry, what I want to say is: Harry can be the best guy on earth, but you seriously need to have it in all your power to not suddenly lose control. I'm a bit lucky Louis wasn't a virgin anymore, because my heart would be ripped out of my chest if I would hurt him like that while he was still a virgin. That would be terrific for him."

"Ugh, you two are disgusting. I really didn't want to know about that, actually."

"I wasn't just telling that to annoy you. I wanted to let you see that... If Harry doesn't love you the way he should to take your V-card away, he's going to hurt you. Doesn't matter how he takes you, it'll always hurt if he doesn't care enough about your safety or you in general."

"You just said you don't care aboutLouis..."

"I didn't. You have no idea how much I love him. I just couldn't resist because it's a long time ago I had friction down there. And I didn't only hurt him, it was just the beginning. I couldn't control myself. And by the looks of it, I'm only making you more disgust by me. So Harry huh?"

"Let's just stop and play a game or something, yeah?"

"Sure. Mario Cart?"

"DUH!"

_..._

"Hey, Luke? Good night."

"Sleep tight," he answered.

"Don't let the bed bugs bite," we said both at the same time, making both of us giggle a bit.

"Love you."

"Duh, I'm perfect."

He laughed and shook his head while lying down on his pillow. "Niall..."

"Okay! You got me. You got me. Love you, too. Bye."

"Bye."

It was dead on quiet for a pretty long time, till I fell asleep.

_..._

When I heard the bell rang, I looked up, seeing Luke didn't hear it. There was no sound coming from Gorge or mom's room, and even Laura was snoring soundly. Hmm... Did I mishear it?

I decided to still take a look, you never know maybe it's Louis. Ever since we moved in with Luke's dad, Louis rings the bell instead of just coming in. He can't climb on the roof here either, because well... you have to be sportive to do that... And he isn't... at all...

So I walked down the stairs and to the door, unlocking it before opening and being surprisingly met with green eyes. "Hey?" I greeted, making it sound like a question.

_"Niall... I think I'm gay."_


	33. Thirty Three

 

_I walked down the stairs and to the door, unlocking it before opening and being surprisingly met with green eyes. "Hey?" I greeted, making it sound like a question._

_"Niall... I think I'm gay."_

I swallowed thickly. Harry? Gay? What? "U-Uh... What?" was all I could basically get out of myself.

"Can we talk? Please?" I nodded and looked back inside, Luke was walking down the stairs, rubbing in his eyes as he did so.

I looked back to Harry and smiled. "Yeah, sure. But not here. Let's go out." He nodded and stepped aside for me to come with him. With a swift turn, I smiled at Luke. "Be back in a few. Is pretty important. Don't stay up and don't worry, yeah?" He just nodded, looking exhausted. A small smile spread on my lips again before I turned back to Harry, closing the door behind me quickly.

Sometimes I'm really happy we have a little bench in front of the house. I mean, this house is pretty big and beautiful, even though Harry's bigger and well... perfect... But I'm happy we still have this bench.

Once I really realized how cold it was outside, I sat down and wrapped my bare arms around my legs that were pulled up, my heals holding me in place by digging into the bench a bit. Because I was only wearing a t-shirt and short, I couldn't stop myself from shivering a bit. Harry must have noticed, because he had wrapped his own coat around my shoulders faster than light could go on and out.

A small smile was on his lips, and I returned it immediately. We stayed in silence for a short time, before I finally found the courage to open my mouth and speak up. "What did you mean with: 'I think I'm gay'?" I asked.

He smiled down a bit at his hands and sighed softly. "I don't know. During, well what we were doing back at mine, something came up in me. I liked it too much what we were doing. Too much to be normal or even comfortable around it. Then I started to think. I never actually felt the same I felt with you as with all those other girls I had sex with. And we didn't even do shit. God, Ni. Please tell me this is just a random phase. Please!" He held my shoulders and shook me up a bit during his last part.

"Calm down, okay? Giving me a whiplash shaking infant syndrome won't take you anywhere." He nodded and let go of my shoulders, making me sigh in relieve. "Look, what you're going through is just normal. Maybe you aren't even gay, but you just like some things you do with guys. As much as it's to my dislike, maybe you should try to kiss another guy? Or do something with another guy. If you like that too, then you should come to terms that you might have some feelings for guys, too. But you never know, maybe it's all in your head. My cousin likes to say that I'm so gay I can turn everyone gay... Maybe you just hang around me too much?" All I was saying was hurting me like hell, but this isn't about me.

_You can always take advantage of this situation, telling him he really is gay and make him like you..._

Well, unlike you, I like Harry the way he is and I won't change him for my own pleasure, yes thank you very much...

Harry shook his head and smiled sadly. "No, it's not you. I guess you kissing was just a wake-up call to whatever it was."

"Well, really, it's not that I'm pushing you in things, but... Do what I said. Kiss some other guy and kiss another girl and see what you like and what not. Who knows? Maybe it are just my magical lips that make you think this?" I tried to lighten up the mood a bit.

Harry laughed softly and looked back down at his hands. "But, I don't want to kiss other guys. That's just too weird..."

"Well, then I don't know it. If I would think like Louis, he would now be getting ready to take you to a gay bar. Luckily, I'm not Louis."

He looked up and to be honest, I didn't like that grin on his face... "Maybe that's a good idea. I mean, in that way, I can see with my own eyes how it is?"

"No, I'm not taking you to a gay bar. Are you insane? You're on drugs or what? It's hell out there. Crazy people. Those are not your people, Harry. They're extreme, over the top gay. Don't go in there. It's a mad house."

"You sound like you have experiences," he remarked.

"Louis is my best friend. Do I even have to say more?"

"Good point, well made."

It was silence for another minute, and this time it felt actually pretty comfortable. As in, we don't need to talk to make it comfortable, the silence is just enough to take. It was nice for a change. Normally I hate silence. I always think a lot more and I feel like everything is pretty depressing in my life. So I love sound. Everything that makes noise, is great, as long as it doesn't hurt my ears.

"M-Maybe we shou-should kiss again?" I suddenly said, mouth not communicating with my brain. His head snapped up, eyes looking into mine, almost like he's looking just right through me. "I-I mean. You don't ha-have to , of c-course." I stuttered out.

"It's not that, Ni. I just think I have to think about this all, yeah? I'm like, really confused. I mean, one seconds I'm 100% sure I'm straight, and the other I'm so confused and not even sure if I even like girls.. Maybe it was always just a sort of cover up my mind made me do? I don't know."

"Harry, really, stop making it so difficult for yourself. Give it some time. Obama didn't find America in one day,"

"Wasn't that Columbus?"

"That's not the point, now is it?" He shook his head and looked back down, looking a bit hurt. I immediately felt bad and got closer to him, my head on his shoulder as I looked into the dark night sky, little stars shining right in front of us. It was actually a pretty beautiful view. "Sorry. I didn't mean to sound rude. It's just late and I can't think straight." I heard Harry laugh a bit, trying to hold it in. "Don't you dare." He laughed out loud a bit, making me groan. I'm 100% sure he was about to tell the: "You can't think straight because you're too gay"-joke.

"Sorry. Just came up in me."

"Yeah, yeah... Anyway, I would do everything to sleep right now, so shut up, I'm going to sleep." I said, closing my eyes already.

I was basically lying on the bench. Head on Harry's shoulder and the rest of my body on the bench, looking like a fetus. "You can't sleep o- oh... Clearly you can." He whispered the last part as I was already drifting off to sleep. Gosh I needed it, and Harry being right beside me, made it just as easy.

...

When I woke up, I was surprised I wasn't lying on the bench outside anymore. I was replaced on the couch, Harry's coat still around me though, but Harry himself, was nowhere to be seen. I lifted my head off of the arm of the couch and looked around a bit. It was already pretty light outside, sighing it couldn't be much earlier than 9am.

With a grunt, I got up from the couch, holding Harry's coat around my shoulders, before heading into the kitchen. Luke was talking to no other than Harry of course and my mom was listening to them while sometimes adding something.

Harry had a mug in his hands, probably hot tea in it as he was talking, looking down at his hands every now and then. My mom had probably just mentioned something awkward about me, because Harry started to laugh and a little blush was seen on his cheeks. None of them had already noticed my presence, which is good and bad. Good, because I can overhear them and I can see how they react and what they talk about behind my back, but it's bad because that means I'm not noticeable. Even though I'm just standing casually in the doorway, no one notices...

"Oh, no you should have seen him when he was a baby! Always so messy, but he had the cutest baby butt ever! Still has of course. My baby is perfect. I mean, it would be impossible to not be perfect if you're a son of me." My mom said.

"No, Maura, please don't show the pics. I'm protecting Harry's eyes right now," Luke half joked.

"Oh, don't be so silly! My baby boy is perfect. Anyway, I won't show any of you two pics of my baby boy. Wouldn't want to embarrass him," my mom said, finally gaining some sanity. "Well, not when he's not around. It's always much better to embarrass him when he's here to enjoy and try to stop me."

"That's probably why you sound like the best mom on earth." Harry finally commented, his voice raspy as ever but god hell! He's so sexy...

"Why thank you. Anyway, I should go to work. See you boys la- Oh Niall, baby! Didn't see you there. How long were you standing there?" she asked as she turned around, spotting me.

"Long enough to know you have baby pics of me being naked... Shouldn't you be at work now? It's already an hour after your normal shift starts."

"I know, but I have some off days, too you know. Anyway, I decided to work today and take the weekend off, to go out with your dad-"

"Stepdad." I corrected.

"Don't act like you don't like him."

"I don't act like I don't."

"Niall James..." she warned.

"Yeah yeah, blame me for being a bit moody today, I only slept for like 3 hours or so. It's not my fault. I'm going to shower, by the way, so bye Ma. Have a lovely day at work."

"Yeah, you saying that means you did, or are about to do something wrong..."

"That's not true. Now, see yah," I said, before walking back into the hall, going upstairs immediately.

_Well that was awkward..._

...

Once I came out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around my waist and walked out and back into my room to be met with a mop of curls. He was lying on my bed, eyes closed as he lay there like Sleeping Beauty. "Hey?"

He looked up and smiled. "Hi," he whispered.

I frowned a bit and sat down on my bed, still in only a towel, but I didn't care actually. "What's wrong?" I asked a bit confused. He was smiling a few minutes ago... Did something happen?

"Nothing, Ni. Just thinking." He whispered again.

"Why are you whispering?"

"Sore throat," he whispered again. I nodded and smiled weakly.

"Want me to fetch you something? Some medicine? More tea?" he shook his head and smiled, for once really having to look up at me, because he was lying and I wasn't. "Hmm, okay. I'm going to get dressed, and after, we're going to walk for a bit, okay? You need to clear your mind, and the best way to do that is to walk."

"Best way is to sport. Train."

"But you aren't just yet."

"I'm actually paying you to train with me, not to have fun."

"Well, training starts when I say it does."

"What if I say I don't want to wait?"

"Then you will have to come up with the best pleading ever, because I won't let you. Now, I'll be right back, okay?" He nodded and smiled as I stood back up and walking out of my room once I got my clothes to get dressed in the bathroom.

Once I came back in, Harry was already on his phone, typing away as if his life depends on it. "Who're you texting?"

He looked up, a small grin on his face. "Liam."

"Oh," was all I answered.

"I was thinking about the, you know....Kissing other guys and such..." he started. I nodded and sat down again, looking at his pretty face. "And well, I talked to Li about the whole situation. He's pretty shocked too, but well, he is willing to kiss me so I could know like you said."

"I have no words right now," I said honestly.

"That's okay. Now, are we still going to walk?"

"Of course. C'mon, let's go."

We stood up and walked outside.

_Hopefully this will clear his mind a bit..._


	34. Thirty Four

***One week later***

After Harry and I walked for a while, we went back to mine. He said he was going to try kissing Liam and he would tell me after what he felt.

He came to conclusion that he didn’t feel shit during the kiss, and that he might not be gay or just not gay for Liam. I must say, I felt bad for him. He was really confused and whatever I told him, he wouldn’t take it.

It was from that Monday on that he ignored me. The whole week. I didn’t hear from him in –what felt like ages- a few days. Till this morning. I got a simple text from him.

**FROM: Sex God ♥**

Yeah, I changed it again…

**_‘Hey, meet me at the park.’_ It said. Just simply that.**

After fucking a whole week of hearing nothing from him, not even a simply ‘hey’, he just only says that….

But I took it anyway and walked to the beginning of the park where I was supposed to meet him. After waiting some minutes, he finally came up to me, looking pretty much the same, the only different thing were his clothes and the length of his hair –which was now a tiny bit longer-.

He came so close to me that I could feel his breath against my lips, his hands on my hips, pushing me a bit up against one of the threes I was leaning against. “Hey,” he breathed out, his minty breath making me shiver.

“Hi,” slipped from my lips in a soft whisper, barely auditable.

“I missed you.” He’s on drugs…

“You could’ve always text me, or just come by. But you didn’t.”

“I know, I wanted to be sure about everything before I would see you again.”

“So? You’re sure about everything?” Even I didn’t know what I meant with that, but as long as he knew what I was saying, it’s okay…

His lips went to my ear as he whispered in a breathy way: “More than sure.” He pulled back and smirked. “Let’s go to the cabin.”

“The Cube.” I corrected, making him stop. He looked confused at me, yet amused.

“The what?”

“The Cube. I called it like that. It looks like a cube and the name is pretty catchy…”

“You sure are one of a kind, Ni. Now, let’s go.” He said, pulling at my hand.

…

With a smash, I was lying on the bed, him hovering over me as soon as I lay down. “I want to try something new,” he said seductively, his lips attached to my lips right after he said that.

He straddled me again, moving his hips up and down a bit, creating friction _down there_. “What do you wanna try?” I managed to ask during the kiss as I pulled away a bit for a second, to breath and ask that.

“Oh, fuck.” he groaned.

“Well, I know I’m fuck-able, but you still have to wait till I’m ready,” I joked.

“Ugh, you know I didn’t mean it like that. No really. I want to go a little further than just snogging and kissing and such. I want to touch you.” He said.

“I was already thinking about this earlier, but Harry… You’re on drugs,” I said, dead on serious.

He chuckled a bit, and stopped all his actions, just looking down at me with those big green eyes of him –that suddenly looked a bit darker than usual-, pupils blown a bit. “Me? On drugs? I might be crazy, but I’m not on drugs, silly.” Step one, denying…

“You look like you’re on drugs…”

“I’m not. And even if I was, what’s the problem?” Step two, thinking everything is okay.

“The problem is that you’re on drugs.”

His nostrils went wider, signing he was angry. “Look, I’m _not_ on drugs okay? If I was you would’ve already noticed, don’t you think?” He said, sounding a bit angry, but I could clearly notice he was holding his temper.

“Alright. You aren’t on drugs. You’re just annoying by natural.”

“I’m not annoying. You like me, just admit.”

“Hmm, nah…”

He grinned and smashed his lips to mine, my lips reacting immediately, kissing back. He pulled away just a bit too soon, making me ask for more. A huge smirk was tugging at the corners of his lips as he looked down at me, his thumb going over his own bottom lip. “If you didn’t like me, you wouldn’t kiss back.”

I huffed and rolled my eyes. “That doesn’t prove anything. That just means I get caught up in kissing.” _Lame…_

“Whatever you say, Ni.” His lips started to kiss down my neck and I whimpered each time he went over the spot he once marked. Because it’s a week ago, the mark was faded away, but I could still feel it when someone touched it. “Ni, can I try something?”

“Depends on what.”

“It involves you being naked?”

“Red.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “At least you remembered something. C’mon Ni. It’s going to be fun.”

“I like my clothes, thank you very much.”

“You’re so scared, yet you know you’ll like it. Fear is just something that will always keep you away from everything, but once you get over it, you’ll laugh at how stupid it was to be scared from such a thing. I feel like I’m going to tell you this every time we do anything, but Ni. I won’t ever hurt you. That’s a promise I’m keeping myself. And you. C’mon. Please. I’m still finding out what the fuck I am, and I think I can find it out a bit that way…. Maybe I’m wrong and it won’t get me anywhere, but it’s worth giving a try, besides, it’s only for your pleasure, so it’s not like I get anything out of it…” he mumbled, looking deep in my eyes.

It was so hard to not give in. Him being here. As sexy as ever. God… I didn’t see him in a whole week, what am I suppose to say? The fact that I’m getting hard as fuck doesn’t help either…

“So… can we?”

I hesitated a few minutes, deciding whether or not I should let him. Then I remembered what Luke said last time. That he’s only using me, but…

_“Please I’m still finding out what the fuck I am.”_

He is in fact using me a bit, to find out about himself… What if he finally knows it? Is he going to just dump me somewhere? Stop everything? “I can’t.”

He frowned and got off of me, lying next to me, his face in my direction as he studied me. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice soft and full of concern. The total opposite of what he was a minute ago.

“Yeah, I am.”

A fake, weak smile made its way on his face and it bothered me that it was fake, but I can’t let him just use me, now can I? “You know I’-“

“Don’t say sorry. You didn’t do anything.”

“Bu-“

“No, Harry. Don’t apologize for something you don’t even know you did wrong. I’m fine, okay?”

“Something is bothering you, that’s not okay,” he said, facing the ceiling again.

“Why do you even care?”

He sat up pretty quickly, face full of disbelieve and worry. “Hey, hey. What’s gotten into you? Of course I care about you. You’re my friend. If something bothers you, then that bothers me. Like a real friend. C’mon, what’s wrong all of a sudden? If it’s not me, doing something wrong, then what is it?”

A sigh escaped my lips and I found myself turning on my side, looking back at him as my arm was holding me up a bit. “I’m just scared.”

His eyes softened and his hand went up to cup my cheek.

-Is it just me, or does it look like we’re dating or anything…?-

“Niall, I told you. Fear is just something that stops us from doing the things we know we want to do.”

“I’m not scared of doing things with you,” I admitted, my eyes everywhere but him.

He came a bit closer to me, forcing me to look at him. “Then tell me what you’re scared off. I promise to fix it for you. Whatever it is, I’ll take away your fear. Now tell me, what scares you so much?” Him being this close to me isn’t helping at all. It’s only making it worse, to be quite honest.

“You.”

He frowned and pulled away, giving me space. “Me? You’re scared of… me?”

“Being with you. Not you, just this all. I’m scared you’ll just use me for your own good. I don’t know, it’s stupid to think, sor-“

“Don’t apologize. I get that. I really do. And, well somewhere you’re right, you know? But I’m not using you for anything bad, God bless me no. I’m only finding out about who I am and I’m not using you for it, because… I can’t use anyone that I like.”

“You… like me?”

He grinned sheepishly and nodded. “Yeah, I do. A lot. I don’t know if it’s just because we’re friends, or if it’s more than that, but I really, really like you, Niall. Maybe it’s just what friends feel for each other, seeing I never really had a friend expect Nick then, but… Horan, I really like you.”

“I told you you were on drugs!”

He rolled his eyes and laughed softly. “Stop making things funny, I’m serious.”

“Me too.”

“Niall...” he warned.

“Harry.” I smiled innocently.

He sighed in sort of amusement and sat up. “You’re so annoying. If I told a girl I like her, she would jumping up and down from excitement and you just call me a druggy?”

I smiled proudly and nodded. “Well, welcome in the world were not everyone is tempting to have your dick up in their ass.” I still smiled innocently.

“How can you make _that_ sound so innocent? You keep surprising me, Niall Horan.”

“Whatever you say, Mr. Styles.”

“That’s my dad.”

“Then you’re looking pretty young for someone with children.”

He sighed again and let himself fall back on the pillow. “Good night.”

“It’s morning.”

“Afternoon.”

“Bless you. Anyway, don’t sleep just yet, I’m awake.”

“So what? Go play outside, little boy.”

“I’d rather play with you.” My eyes went wide when I realized what I just said. A hand covered my mouth immediately, scared of what his reaction would be.

In one minutes I was pinned down, icy blue met green. “Don’t challenge me, Horan.”

I gulped.

_Oh ooh…_

 


	35. Thirty Five

A shiver ran down my spine and my breath hitched. Harry smirked, proud of himself that he could make me this scared. “What’s wrong, Niall? Lost your tongue all of a sudden?” he asked, hands on either side of my head, pinning my wrists down with his hands. Escaping was literally impossible…

I swallowed thickly and cleared my throat. “Uh, n-no.”

He smirked. “Good,” he said. His left hand let go of mine and trailed down to my hip, grabbing it tightly, making me yelp in surprise. “Can we try it?” he asked again, sounding a little bit less needy.

“Try what?”

“I want to blow you,” he said seriously, making it sound like it’s nothing. My eyes almost popped out of my head in surprise. Oh he didn’t just say that… “Don’t be scared. It’s almost impossible to hurt you like that.”

“I don’t know. This is probably a very bad idea.”

“How can it be bad?”

“Seeing you were 100% straight and now you’re asking to blow me? Sorry, but that doesn’t sound good to me.”

“Niall, there is nothing wrong with that. It’s just me finding out wh-“

“Who you are. I know, but don’t you feel in any way weird with the thoughts about it only?”

“I like you Ni. I really do. I’ll make you feel really good. Make you feel loved. Isn’t that what you want? Feeling loved?” A soft whimper escaped my lips. Without a second thought, his hand went to my _Private Me,_ palming me through the fabric of my jeans. As if all my self control and power left me, I moaned uncontrollably, unashamed of anything at the moment. “Told you you would like it. Now what do you say, Ni? You think I could make you feel special?”

“I bet –oh- I bet you can.”

“So… can I?”

“No.” was my answer.

“No?” His hand stopped and again, he rolled off of me.

“No. Red. Black. Whatever colour you need to get in your mind that I’m not ready for something like that.”

“Gosh, you’re so fucking hard to get! I knew Nick would make it hard for me.” he groaned, looking back to the ceiling.

And there I was. Stunned as ever. He didn- No… No that’s- That’s absurd. He wouldn’t do that, would he? “No.” I whispered, tears brimming in my eyes.

“Niall, I alrea- Ni?” he changed mood rather quickly. A worried and even surprised expression spread over his face. “Ni, what’s wrong? Hey, wha-“

He reached out with his hand for me, but I slapped it away, trying to get away from him. “N-No. No!” I stood up, backing away from him as his eyes softened, but I couldn’t trust it. “You used me! You only fucking used me for a stupid game?! Am I only a game to you?!” Tears streamed down my cheeks, landing in little beads on the floor.

He sat up on the bed, emotionless expression on his face now. “Niall, you don’t under-“

“No, I fucking understand it better than you think I do! Ho-How could you? I trusted you! I fucking trusted you! How can you just play me like that?” My back was caught by the door and my legs were feeling like jelly.

“Please, Ni, let me explain!”

“Explain what? How you were going to use me and throw me away as if I’m nothing? How you were just playing me like a fucking game?! I liked you! Oh my God. I liked you! That’s the worst part of it! I waited every day till I could see you! I smiled as you texted me! Oh, God I even dreamed of you!” I came to the moment where I almost could feel myself passing out, but I wouldn’t in front of him.

I opened the door and walked through it, hearing Harry yell my name once more before I slammed it shut and started my run back home.

…

I walked through the door, slamming it shut. I guess it’s because I literally slammed the door shut, that I got attention from Luke who was first sitting on the couch. “Hey, bro.” he greeted with a big smile that faded away once he looked at my face. “Hey, are you alright?” he rushed to me and held me on arm length, studying me. I shook my head and let myself fall against his chest, sobbing uncontrollably. “Oh, shit. Niall what happened?” he asked, bringing me to the couch. “MAURA!” he yelled, making my mom appear in the living room.

“What now, Lu- Niall!” also she rushed to my side and pulled me away from Luke. Not that I mind, because well… anyone who would be there would be enough for me to break down on. “Oh, baby. It’s alright. Shhh. It’s alright. Mommy’s here for you,” she said soothingly, trying to comfort me in a way only mothers can.

“I’m going to call Louis, is that alright?” Luke asked my mom. She nodded and Luke left for a second, but I could hear him talking on the phone in the kitchen. “Hey, baby. … No it’s about Niall. … I don’t know, he came home looking like he had been crying and he just broke down. … Yeah, sure. I’m sure he would tell you everything, out of all of us, he trusts you the most. … Okay see you soon. Bye love you.” He walked back into the room and smiled sadly. “Lou is coming, Ni. He knows how to make you happy,” he spoke softly, rubbing my back a bit.

I looked up and sadly smiled through my tears, eyes watery and view blurry. It was then that it all sank down to me. 

_It’s over._


	36. Thirty Six

"OH MY GOD! WHERE IS MY BABY?!" I heard Louis' voice yell once Luke opened the door. It took him what? 5 minutes, to come here, which is fast for him...

They walked inside and my mom got up, kissing my head as she whispered softly: "I'm in the kitchen if you need me. Making you some tea yeah?" I nodded, sniffing a bit as my tears were calmed down and I was only sniffing now. She walked up to Louis and pushed him a bit back with her index finger. "Don't make it worse, okay?" she warned him.

"As always," Louis said over sweetly, a big fake smile on his face. Don't get them wrong, my mom likes Lou and he loves my mom because she's obviously awesome, but when I'm a bit down, my mom suddenly get's all overprotective and then she doesn't trust anyone.

Louis said down next to me and held his arms open for me to snuggle in, which I of course did immediately. "Hey," I whispered, not really trusting my voice at the moment.

"Hey, baby. Are you alright? What happened?" I shook my head, not even in the mood to explain. If I would try, I would immediately start crying again. I could feel that. Feel it coming already, but still I won't let myself cry again. "Do you know where he was before he came back like this?" he asked straight to Luke.

Luke shook his head. Of course not, I didn't tell him. He was doing whatever God knows as I got the message from Harry and went outside. "No, sorry. He was suddenly gone, but I thought he was just back to Harry, like every day."

I looked up a little bit at Louis to see his reaction, which was glaring at Luke. "You're so stupid at times Gosh!" he said, annoyed. "Ni?" I looked up fully and nodded. He smiled softly and made everything look as if he was about to say the sweetest thing ever. "Can I kill him?"

"No," I croaked out. He frowned and held me even closer.

"Why not? It's him who made you cry, isn't it?" I nodded a bit, but stayed close to him, my arms wrapped around his torso and locking at his back. "See, Ni, I'm going to teach him a lesson, with or without your permission," he said, trying to get out of my grip, but I just tightened it.

"No, don't. He's not worth it. He will think he won this. That's what he wants. Me to break down and letting someone else 'clear the job' for me. Don't go. Please," I begged. Louis nodded and weakly smiled.

"I won't go. I promise. Now tell me, word for word, what happened?"

And that's when I explained everything. From the message he sent me that morning, to the door slamming and hearing him yell my name one last time. My eyes were teary again once I was done explaining what happened, but I couldn't cry. I had almost no tears left, so crying was impossible.

"Oh, love, that's terrible," Louis said, prepping my cheek and hair with kisses. I managed through the whole story to sit down in Louis' lap, being in the fetus pose.

"You do realize he owns you an explanation, right?" Luke spoke up, making Louis glare at him once again. Louis really can be like.. like worse than my mother when it comes to protecting me at my weakest points.

"Babe, not now! Can't you see he's in no state to take that right now?"

"I wasn't talking about now. Gosh, love. Are you on your man-period or what? I was just saying." Louis kept on glaring at his boyfriend, not saying a word, but deep inside, I knew he still loved my stepbrother. He's just in his: Mama-Bear mode... which is never a good thing...

"I'd actually like to hear why he did that," I said softly, feeling really weak and vulnerable, almost fragile.

Louis looked down at me in surprise and sighed before nodding. "Give me your phone, we'll call him." I gave him my phone and let him call Harry, putting him on speaker.

It didn't take him 2 seconds before he already answered. "Niall?" he asked, voice rough but not different from other times.

"Listen you-"

"Louis, don't you dare," Luke said, grabbing the phone from his boyfriend's hold.

I could hear Harry loudly swallow and somehow that made me smile a bit. He's scared of Louis. Which he should be anyway, seeing Lou's in the Mama-Bear mode... "Hey, look. I don't know what's up with you, but all I know is that you own Niall at least an explanation to what you did. That's just fair," Luke said professionally.

"I know, that's why I called him already 12 times. Can you hand Niall over?" He snapped a bit, sounding drunk.

"No. Whatever you're saying, will be heard for Louis, Niall and me. There's no other way." Luke said.

Harry breathed heavily through his nose and I could sense it was one out of anger. "You know, if it's like this, then I don't have to explain myself."

"Look mate, if I was you, I would already come up with a good explanation, because you don't do things like that to others. It's sick, and I'm not taking a simple 'Sorry' to Niall as apologize."

"Okay, you know what? Listen Niall. You meant nothing to me. Did you ever really believe I fucking cared about you? You're such a pathetic person, if you really believed me. Like I said the first day, we don't match. Not the slightest bit. Niall, believe me as I say, you don't deserve better." And with that he hang up, leaving me in tears again.

Luke tossed my phone back to the couch and walked to the hall, getting his jacket from the hook where it always hangs on. "You're going to hit him?" Louis asked, making me whimper.

"Maybe."

"You don't know where he lives."

"Niall used my car, remember? It saves the way you've ever driven to somewhere, just in case," Luke explained through gritted teeth.

"No, Luke, please don't go. He didn't mean that. I could hear he was drunk. Alcohol has always an influence on people." I tried to stop him, but Louis pulled me back once I tried to stand up.

"Too late for that. Drunk or not, you don't say things you don't mean." He opened the door and slammed it shut.

"No! Lou! Please, he's going to kill him!" I yelled while sobbing. Mom came back into the living room and kneeled down in front of me, holding my face in her hands as she whipped away the tears.

"Shhh. It's okay, Ni. It's all okay. Nothing will happen. Luke's an adult, I mean, sorry you two are adults too, but Luke knows how far he can go. It's okay. I made some delicious tea. So come on, we're going to the kitchen where you can cool down a bit, yeah?" I nodded and whipped away the tears that were about to slip from my eyes.

...

When the door reopened, I rushed out of the kitchen, Louis following me right behind. As we arrived, Luke was getting out of his jacket, smiling up at me and Lou. "You didn-"

"Kill him? No need to, he didn't look like he could take a hit. Stupid weak fuck. I think someone might has already taken his anger out on him before I could."

"Is he alright?!" I almost yelled. Okay, sure he hurt me, but I can't let him be hurt psychically more than I was mentally.

"I don't know. Maybe. Maybe not." My eyes widened a bit, but I just nodded, walking with them to the living room. Mom, Luke and Louis sat down as I thought about a way to get out of here.

"Uh, hey, I'm going to take a shower really quick, okay? Need to clean myself up a bit." They all nodded and smiled as they carried on with their conversation, leaving me to go to the hall. Luckily, I know a way to open the door without any noise...

So once I was sure they were too busy to even listen to any other sounds, I opened the door, got out and closed it soundlessly behind me. I would love to go with Luke's car, but seeing that it was parked in front of the window, where they were sitting, I decided to take my crappy car and sped on the road, driving as fast as I could to Harry's house.

Once I arrived, I saw two ambulances in front of his house, blue light coming from them. My heartbeat quickened, and I parked my car, just half on the road, half not. The gates were open, free for me to run through as I wanted to see how bad it was.

"Ho there, little one. No one is able to go in there." Someone held me back as I wanted to run into the house.

I pulled back from the guy and glared. "Listen to me, that boy that's in there is the fucking love of my life! You're going to let me go in there and see what happened, or I will make a nice new purse of you!" he sighed and nodded, letting me go into the house.

With all my power, I walked inside and looked around for Harry. Once I saw some people in yellow, I knew Harry would be there too, so I rushed up to them, pushing myself in between them all as I kneeled down in front of the pretty beaten up Harry.

His eyes were closed and his skin was pale. Bloody nose and lip and even his temple was bleeding. My hand went up to cup his cheek, and then I noticed how cold he was. Normally he's always warm. Nice warm, but he's really cold now. "Please, love, we have to ask you to go away and leave us do our work." A woman said, trying to pull me back from Harry as I let the tears stroll down my cheek once again this day.

"No! You don't understand!" I said, trying to get back to the unconscious Harry.

"I need someone to get a guy away from the body. We need to work quickly, but he's not helping." She said into a wakly talky.

Not a minute later, two big men carried me away, leaving me with only yelling to them to let me go, but they never did. "You can drive behind us, if you want. Otherwise you come to the closest hospital here, yeah?" I nodded and got away from them. Harry was carried into one of the big ambulance cars and drove off to the hospital.

I got into my car and drove back home.

...

"What did you do to him?!" I yelled once I walked back into the house, slamming the door shut.

"Oh, ooh... for some reason, I'm doubting he went to take a shower, baby." I heard Louis say, sounding just as a normal Louis again.

I appeared in the living room, furious as ever. "Niall. I don't know what happened-

"Don't play that card against me! I know you did something to him! He's in coma, and that's your fault! I told you not to hurt him! I knew something like this would happen! You know how much trouble you're causing yourself?!" Louis stood up and hugged me. I tried to escape, but it's not that I'm strong enough to do so. "I like him, Lou. I like him so much it hurts."

"I know, baby. I know. It's okay. He'll be alright. This is just his lesson to not do such things. He'll be fine, yeah?" I sobbed tearless.

"Niall, I swear I never touched him. I never wanted to in the first place. Just listen me out okay?" I simply nodded after Louis calmed me down and looked at him. "Okay, so I drove to his house and rang the bell. Harry never opened the door and me being the curious one I tried to open it myself. I found the door unlocked and walked in. He was just lying on his couch and I only talked to him. Not that he said much, just that he was thirsty or something and that I looked like a Barbie doll. When he started to drift off to sleep, I softly tapped his cheeks, but he didn't move so I called an ambulance and drove off," Luke explained. The explanation sounded pretty truthful, but I didn't know what to believe now.

"I'm sorry I didn't told you right away. I just hoped you wouldn't have find out. I'll drive you there if you really want to?"

"No." I said weakly. "You stay here. I'm going alone. He's _my_ friend."

I pulled away from Louis and got back to the door. I could still hear Louis say: "I'll go with him. Call you later."

A few seconds later, he was by my side, in my car as we both drove off to the hospital to see how bad Harry is.

The whole drive was silence, giving me time to think. I felt bad, really bad. How could I be so stupid? It was definitely the alcohol talking when Harry was on the phone, even though that's not a reason to say such things.

But still, if I wasn't just so naïve, I wouldn't be driving in high speed to the hospital to see the guy I truly like. Harry would be just training with someone who's good at it and doesn't fall for him. I would still be cleaning and I would be seeing Nena every day.

But then again, Danny would still be bothering me. He would look me up, and beat me to death. If I never met Harry, I would probably already be death, seeing that he was the one that made him leave my house. He was the one that stood up for me at the park and well he's the one that taught me already pretty much. In fact, Harry isn't a bad person. It of course doesn't change the fact he used me for a stupid game with his friend, or whatever's true about that one, but I must say, this morning he really acted different.

Like I said, it wasn't him. Harry is different, at least the Harry I know. When I joked about him doing drugs, he acted pretty... weird though. Maybe he didn't do the drugs, but I'm sure something was up with him.

"Stop thinking so hard, Ni. Your brain will explode." Louis interrupted my trail of thoughts.

I looked up at him quickly before planting my eyes back on the road. "I'm sorry. I just think this... this is all my fault, you know?"

"Niall, don't be so stupid. You did nothing wrong!"

"I'm not saying I did, but okay look at it in this way: If I wasn't so naïve, Harry wouldn't be in the hospital, fighting for his life. Lou, I'm 100% sure something was wrong with him. The whole day. He acted different, even when I was with him this morning. And then when we called... Louis he was drunk. I could hear it in his voice. The way he acted, that wasn't Harry. Maybe he didn't even know what he was saying."

"Ni, that doesn't change the fact that he used you. Don't pity him now just because he's in the hospital. Even if you're drunk as fuck, you don't say that. I did stupid things when I was drunk. I said stupid things, but I never lied. Remember when I came up to you and told you I lost my virginity to a complete stranger? That was a drunken mistake, yes, but it didn't mean that I hated it. Because even if I wasn't drunk, I would still think about it. Even when you're drunk, you don't ever say things that you don't mean."

"Just shut up about it! I don't care what happened. If Harry dies, I won't come out of my bedroom for the rest of my life."

"Ni-"

"No, Louis," I said strictly. "Look, as much as I love you, you better just stay quite now. We're here, and I'm already nervous, so don't do anything that makes it worse," I said. He nodded and got out of the car, just like me.

Once we entered the hospital and asked where Harry was, they said we couldn't go in there just yet. Only close family... So Louis told her we were his brothers, making us able to enter. Sometimes I really do over him.

Before we went inside, Louis stopped me and looked me in the eyes. "Look, this might be a bit of a shock, to you. So, I would say, be prepared to well, anything. I know you never really saw anyone being in the hospital except yourself, and it's quite a view sometimes."

I smiled and hugged him shortly. "Thanks, Lou. Is it... is it okay if I just go in alone?" I asked, making Louis' expression pretty shocked, but he nodded and told me he would be in the cafeteria if I needed him, which made me feel good.

I entered the room and found myself being in tears, all over again.

_This sure isn't your day, now is it?_

Within a second, I was by his side, my hands wanting to touch him, but they didn't know where. Once my hand found that one spot that won't hurt him, I took place on the chair that was placed right beside the bed and held his hand in mine. "I'm so sorry, Harry. I-I don't know what happened, b-but, seeing you like this, really tears my heart in 1000 pieces. I don't care what you did to me, I don't even care. I like you so much. It-it hurts so bad, Harry. P-Please be okay. For me."

I sobbed a bit, and looked down at our hands. His skin was so pale. I've never seen it as pale as now. My free hand, went to push away some of his curls that were in his face so I could have a better view on his beautiful face, but once I did, a nurse came in, giving me first a weird look, but then a sad smile. "He'll be better, Love. Really. He's not even in coma anymore."

I nodded and looked down a bit. "W-What happened to him?" I asked. She looked surprised, but looked at her clipboard and then back to one of the little tubes that went inside Harry's arm.

"He had an overdose of drugs and alcohol. Everyone know that's never a good idea. Of course we don't know how he could possibly do that, but you know, we've had a lot of guys and girls that had the same as him. The police should be here once he's awake to ask him himself what happened." I nodded and smiled before thanking her for the information. "Welcome, anyway. I know you aren't family of Mr. Styles here, and well normally I'm not supposed to do this, but I can see in your eyes how much you're hurt right now, so you can stay with your boyfriend, or friend or whoever he is to you," she said, smiling a bit before walking out again. Leaving me and Harry alone.

"You hear that, H.? You're gonna be fine. I promise. Once you wake up, we're going to find out what happened. I knew something was up, you know? You weren't my Harry anymore. You acted totally different, and I was too stupid, too blind to see what was happening. I should have brought you to the hospital a lot earlier. Then they would've take care of you. This is all my fault. I'm so _so_ sorry. I promise you Harry. I'm going to take care of you. Keep you safe and company till you wake up."

I could feel his index finger move a little, trying to hold my hand, but he was too weak to succeed. "I'm proud of you, Harry. Whatever happened, whatever happens, I'll be there for you. Right by your side. Because... _I might be in love with you."_


	37. Thirty Seven

“Hey, Ni. Niall. C’mon, Ni. Wake up.” My eyes shot open and I looked around. Taking in my surroundings, I noticed I was still in the hospital. Must have fallen asleep…  I looked up, seeing Louis standing with a pretty big smile on his face. “You stayed the whole night here. The nurse must have loved you, you know no people may stay after 8pm.” To say I was shocked that I stayed in the hospital the whole night, was an understatement.

I sat up and looked at Harry. A little smile tugging at my lips as I saw I was still holding his hand tightly in mine. My body turned more towards the bed where Harry was lying in and my eyes examined his face. “You know, even with all these tubes and the way he looks so lifeless… I still think he’s beautiful.”

Louis’ hand rested on my back as I looked up. “I know hun. Hey, Luke’s waiting in the cafeteria. He wants to talk to you.”

“Thanks, I'll be down in a bit.”

“Niall, know that this is not your fault, okay? Don't blame yourself for this. You didn't do this. It's that prick's fault he's here now, do you understand me?"

I sighed and looked down. This _wa_ s my fault. Not Louis or Luke's. I left him. I didn't check upon him. I didn't stay when he needed me the most.

_It was all my fault._

I could see Louis was mad at me for taking the blame. I couldn't really say he's in the wrong to be mad. I'm a disappointment.

Louis turned around and walked to the door, ready to leave. “It wasn’t even him speaking,” I said softly. I could hear him turn back around and sigh.

“What do you mean, Niall?”

“I talked to one of the nurses. She said he had alcohol mixed with drugs in his blood. That’s probably the reason why he couldn’t defend himself towards the person who beat him up. The bruises on his face are not all recent, must’ve been more people taking out their anger by giving him a punch or two, too.”

“Oh, Niall. He'll be fine. This is a great hospital and they know what they do. He's in great hands and I know for sure that he'll be happy and bright when he sees you here next to him. But that will take some time,  so please go down to the cafeteria and nd relax a bit."

I nodded and looked up to Louis. “You’re right. Sorry. I shouldn’t have react like that. It’s just… Harry protected me in so many ways before. I guess I just wanted to return the favor and well, protect him for once.”

“Oh, it's fine baby. Want me to stay here and text whenever something happens?”

“Call, when something happens.”

He laughed and nodded. “Sure, don’t take too long, I might bore myself here.”

…

Luke and I talked a lot the whole time. He told me everything again from when he left to when when he was back. After that we just talked about random things. I agreed to go with them to dinner tonight, not too fancy though, just probably a cheap restaurant. Might get them to go to McDonalds as well…

Louis came back in the cafeteria after almost an hour. He said he was sorry for leaving without saying shit, but he was bored as fuck and wanted to have someone to talk to that did answer. I wouldn’t blame him

“You sure you don’t come with us already? We’re heading home first so we can get changed. After we’re already heading to wherever the fuck Lou sends us to.” Luke said.

“Yeah, I know. Just text me where and I’ll come afterwards. Just need to uh…”

“Check up on Harry. We know! C’mon, babe. We’re going home, I’m bored here,” Louis whined, making me smack his head softly. “Aw!” he whined, but I couldn’t care less.

…

My hand went to grab the doorknob, but someone stopped me. “Hey, are you Niall, by chance?” I turned around to the sound of a girls voice and nodded. She smiled and I could see she was looking for me. “Great, Mr. Styles was asking for you already.”

“He’s awake?” She nodded and I felt really guilty for not being there when he woke up. “Shit, when did he wake up?” I asked quickly.

“We don’t know, must have been around 4, seeing Charlotte, one of the nurses, went inside when he was already awake and that was at 10 past 4. So we’re guessing it was around 4. Now, get inside you. He’s been asking for you ever since we noticed he was awake.” She said, smiling softly at me.

I nodded and walked in after saying my “thank you” to her. Once I reached his bed, I saw his eyes were closed. Maybe he was sleeping again? He must be tired from everything. Poor guy. Really, from the drugs and alcohol thing, I bet he’s just-  “Niall?” My head snapped down to Harry, his green eyes looking up at me, pure tiredness clouding them. He was exhausted. My heart sank a bit at the sight of how light and almost lifeless his eyes looked. That beautiful emerald green, turned into such a light green. It almost scared me.

A smile tugged at my own lips and I nodded as I walked closer to his side. “Hey. How are you feeling?”

“Okay, I guess. Just feeling really sick. My stomach feels like exploding and my head isn’t a sunny place either…” he answered, voice a bit rough and mostly very quiet. I smiled weakly at him and wanted to sit on the single chair again, but he moved a bit aside, signing that I should sit there. I did as asked and sat down next to his side. “Can you somehow tell me how I got here and what’s wrong with me?”

“You don’t remember?” I asked, almost stunned.  He shook his head, looking confused. “Well, uhm… What do you remember?”

“Well, all I can remember is that I was in a club. I was just drinking and then… then it’s all just black,” he answered.

“Was that during the day?”

He looked puzzled for a second, but shook his head. “No, no I would never drink during the day. It must have been something in the early morning. Why?”

“I knew it!” I said under my breath.

“Knew what? Huh?”

I looked down at his puzzled expression. “Oh, sorry. Well, I thought the whole day you were on drugs, but I was just joking about it, you know? And then you called and-” Now he looked even more puzzled, great! Way to go, Niall!

“Can you please be more specific? Thinking too hard is difficult right now.” I nodded and smiled a little bit.

“Well, yesterday morning, you texted me after a whole week, saying you wanted to meet up. So we did, but right from the moment I saw you, you acted so weird. It wasn’t you at all, but I just went along with it. I joked a few times about you being a druggy, but well you just kept on telling me you weren’t on drugs, so yeah…”

“But I’m not! I swear.”

“Harry, they found drugs in your blood, mixed with a lot of alcohol.” He looked at me in disbelieve.

“Ni, I’m telling you, I never have ever touched drugs in my whole life! I swear. I wouldn’t lie to you about that.” I looked down at my hands, seeing his suddenly appearing in my view as he grabbed my hand in his, making me look back up to him. “You don’t believe me, do you?” I sighed, thinking a bit. I mean, of course I want to believe him, but… how come they find drugs in his blood if he never used it before? Isn’t that a bit strange? And the fact that he, even though he was under influence of drugs and alcohol, told me I meant nothing to him and that I didn’t deserve better, wasn’t helping either… “It’s fine. I guess I get why you don’t believe me. I mean, I do have to say, it is weird that there were drugs in my blood, but…” he squeezed my hand a bit, “I’m being honest if I say, I never used drugs. Or at least not on purpose.”

“I do believe you, Harry. It’s just really weird and I don’t know if I should trust you, or not anymore. After what you said, I-“

“What did I say?” Oh, right… he can’t remember…

“Nothing important. As I was sa-“

“Niall, tell me.”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t want to think about it.”

His face fell a bit, and I guess that’s when I realized, he really didn’t say those things. It wasn’t him saying it at all. He doesn’t even remember saying it… “Did I hurt you?” he suddenly asked.

“You didn’t touch me, so no.”

“No, but… Did I say something that hurt you? I’m sorry to ask, I just don’t remember shit. Wouldn’t even know what day it is…”

“Tuesday. It all happened yesterday,” I explained.

“Oh… Well, whatever it was that I did to you, I’m really sorry about it,” he apologized. “Wait… You say it’s Tuesday, right?” I nodded, not really getting where this was leading too. “Then yesterday was Monday, right?”

“Harry, what’s your point?”

“I can’t remember Monday. That’s the thing. I can remember Saturday. I can remember Sunday till I went to that club and after I’m totally blacked out.”

“And I’m the one confusion you… Listen to yourself.”

“No, Niall. What I’m trying to say is, something must have happened at the club I went to. Liam was with me, I remember that, but I can’t remember anything after that guy behind the bar gave me a drink I didn’t even ask for,” he explained. This made me think. You can’t get pissed from just one drink. I know that for sure.

“Your drink was spoiled…” I mumbled, thinking out loud.

“What? Speak up, please.”

“Your drink was spoiled. Someone must have put something in your drink. Or after you got pissed, but I think you would remember more than just after one drink, right?”

“Ask Liam. He probably knows what happened after.”

“I hope he does. B-“ My phone cut me off and both Harry and I jumped a little before I grabbed my phone and answered. “Hello?”

“Where the hell are you? Just saying bye to someone who doesn’t answer can’t take that long!” Louis voice yelled through the speaker.

“I’m sorry, I’m just trying to help here, yeah?”

“Niall, as much as I love you, Harry is not awake. He can’t hear you, he can’t-“ Harry must have heard what Louis was saying, seeing that he got my phone out of my hands and brought it to his own ear.

“Hello, Louis.” he said over too sweetly.

“Who’s this?” I could hear his voice even when Harry has my phone….

“Someone who’s not awake, who can’t hear what Niall says and… Just so you know it, people who’re sleeping, still hear you.” He said. I had really a hard time, holding back my laughter at that.

“Give my phone back, Harreh!” I whined. He shook his head, an amused smile on his face. “Harry! C’mon!”

“I got to go, Louis. Niall too. Bye!” he said before ending the call and pulling the phone further away from me. Holding it in his right hand and up his head, I grumpily groaned and tried to reach for my phone.

“Just give it already! There’s some personal stuff on it!” I said, trying to get it back.

He laughed a bit as I reached over his body with my arm. “Hmm… what about…. No.”

“Harry!” I whined again, really wanting my phone.

“Come and get it.”

“I’m serious Harry!”

“Some personal stuff you said, right?” Oh no… “Let’s see what that might be?”

_He’s challenging you. Don’t fall for this Ni!_

“Oh well look at that, your photo album! Let’s see what we find there…” he said, challenging me even more, and when he opened it and scrolled up, not even bothering to really look, I lost it, crawled over his body and grabbed my phone. When I had it and sat back down, I noticed I wasn’t just sitting, but straddling him.

“Is this what you wanted?” I asked, sass coming up just a little bit. He smiled brightly and nodded. I crossed my arms over my chest and chuckled. “Am I not hurting you or anything?” I asked a bit worried.

“Course not. Wouldn’t challenge you into this if it would hurt, now would I?”

“I don’t know. You keep surprising me, Haz. There is always a possibility in you doing things that other people wouldn’t. “

“Haz?”

“Yeah, a nickname. Seeing we’re friends,” I said, hurting a bit from the fact I’m literally friend-zoned now…

“I like it. Don’t worry. It’s cool. I mean, I always call you ‘Ni’, so you needed a nickname for me too, didn’t you?” I laughed and nodded a bit. His hands went up to hold my hips and I must say, somehow, I managed to block everything out but the both of us. Just my perfect bubble.

Of course… Every bubble has to pop at some point… Mine just did a little bit earlier than I hoped. “We’re taking yo- Serious Nialler? When are you not trying to get in his pants? Gosh!” I groaned and let my head fall back, making me also see Louis and Luke appear in the doorway.

“C’mon, bud. We already ate!”

“That’s way too early to eat anyway. And I’m not even trying to get in his pants, gosh how do I keep up with you guys?” They both laughed and I felt Harry laughing, too, seeing I was going up and down a bit as he laughed.

“Well, or you come with us, or you don’t get food for the rest of the night.”

“Why do you suddenly want me out of here?”

“Because we care,” Luke answered.

“And because we don’t trust you alone with Mr. Reputation,” Louis added, making Harry just roll his eyes.

“We’re at least mature enough to not fuck ever second, yeah? We’re not even dating! Gosh why do I always have to defend myself?” I got off of Harry and stood up, grabbing my jacket. “Besides, I would rather stay here than hear you two moaning each other’s name out. Because I’m grossed out by you two.”

“Awe, Luke you hear that? My little baby is getting enough of us already. He’s growing up so fast,” Lou said dramatically, whipping a fake tear away.

“Oh, I have my reasons to hate both of you.”

“Sod off, we’re leaving. Now.”

“Yes dad.” I rolled my eyes. They both laughed and got out of the room. With a swift motion, I turned around and smiled a bit to Harry. “You sure you’re gonna survive without me?”

He nodded and laughed softly. “I’m pretty sure, yes. You sure you’re gonna survive those two?”

I waited a second, leaving him with an amused smirk on his face. “If I don’t come back tomorrow, we both know it was one of them or maybe even them together that killed me.” We both laughed and he looked really happy for once. His hands did the “grabby” motion, and I gave him a confused look. His lips pouted a bit and I must admit, he looks like a little child like that. But an adorable one though. “What?” I asked, still not understanding it.

“Kiss me.” And my heart stopped for a second. I blankly stared at him for a second, even though I don’t know why. I mean, we kissed before, right? But… then again… That was for teaching me stuff. He never really asked me to kiss him, for his pleasure… “I’m waiting…” he sang. I snapped out of my thoughts  bit and went back up to him, pressing my lips softly on his… cheek. Once I pulled back, he pouted even more, looking freaking cute, but I had to stay strong. “You’re really a tease.” He said, still pouting a bit. His eyes went to my cheek and I gave him a weird look. “You have something on your cheek, wait.” He said as he let his thumb go over some random spot on my cheek. His hand cupped my cheek and before I knew it, I was kissing Harry Styles.

Once he pulled away, my swollen lips already missing his, he looked in my eyes and smiled. “You’re so fucking cheesy! That was just mean.”

“Correction, that was brilliant.”

“Whatever you say. Now, I really got to go. I dare to say that they’re just standing at the door…”

“Okay. You’re coming back tomorrow, right?” he asked hopefully. Awh, now look at how desperate he is. Just too cute.

His hand grabbed mine and I looked down for a second, sitting down, too, before looking back up at him. “Of course. Wouldn’t want to miss those hot doctors in here.” There was a flash of jealousy in his eyes, I fucking swear! But I do have to say, he’s good at covering that up. “Maybe I do get something out of paying you some visi-“

He held my hips now, making it impossible to escape. “If you’re only here for those way-too-old-for-you men. Then don’t come.” Meow! Grrrr. He’s nastily jealous, isn’t he?

“Sounds like someone’s jealous.” What? Just teasing…

“Me? Jealous? Pshhh never!” he said sarcastically.

“Yeah right. Now, let me go!” I tried to pull away, but for someone who’s looking weak and all, he’s freaking strong.

“Kiss me.”

“I already did, poohead.”

“Hmm, can’t seem to remember that…” Is he fooling around with me?

“Now you’re not drugged, now the meds  are speaking. You’re tired. Go to sleep and let me go.”

“Sleep with me.”

“Harry…”

“Niall.” He smiled.

“Stop being innocent. Now, let me go!”

“After a good night kiss.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” I leaned back in and locked our lips a second time. He really is just talking because of the meds. They make you say stupid things… But… I at least get something out of this. I pulled back again and wanted to stand up again, but he still hadn’t let me go. “Harry! You promised!”

“Well, I lied.” Hmm…

“Oh, and then to think I would ever trust you!” He seemed not to be expecting that answer…

“No, no. You can trust me! I swear. Sorry.” He let my hips go and looked slightly bad, which made me feel bad, too…

“Thanks, Haz. See you tomorrow!”

“Ugh! I can’t believe I trapped into that!” I heard him say before I closed the door, seeing Louis and Luke looking at me like my mom would whenever I would come home, too late…

We drove home, me in my car and Luke in his and went inside pretty quickly. I mean, I went inside. Luke still had to drop off Louis, so after he did that and walked into our room, I was just about to close my eyes and drift off to sleep. He quickly kissed my forehead and pulled my hair a bit back, like my mother would do. “I love you.”

“Love you-“ I yawned soundly, “too.”

My eyes closed right after that and I started to fall into a peaceful sleep.

_Well that’s what I call, an interesting day…_


	38. Thirty Eight

“Hey, Ni. Niall. C’mon, Ni. Wake up.” My eyes shot open and I looked around. Taking in my surroundings, I noticed I was still in the hospital. Must have fallen asleep…  I looked up, seeing Louis standing with a pretty big smile on his face. “You stayed the whole night here. The nurse must have loved you, you know no people may stay after 8pm.” To say I was shocked that I stayed in the hospital the whole night, was an understatement.

I sat up and looked at Harry. A little smile tugging at my lips as I saw I was still holding his hand tightly in mine. My body turned more towards the bed where Harry was lying in and my eyes examined his face. “You know, even with all these tubes and the way he looks so lifeless… I still think he’s beautiful.”

Louis’ hand rested on my back as I looked up. “I know hun. Hey, Luke’s waiting in the cafeteria. He wants to talk to you.”

“Thanks, I'll be down in a bit.”

“Niall, know that this is not your fault, okay? Don't blame yourself for this. You didn't do this. It's that prick's fault he's here now, do you understand me?"

I sighed and looked down. This _wa_ s my fault. Not Louis or Luke's. I left him. I didn't check upon him. I didn't stay when he needed me the most.

_It was all my fault._

I could see Louis was mad at me for taking the blame. I couldn't really say he's in the wrong to be mad. I'm a disappointment.

Louis turned around and walked to the door, ready to leave. “It wasn’t even him speaking,” I said softly. I could hear him turn back around and sigh.

“What do you mean, Niall?”

“I talked to one of the nurses. She said he had alcohol mixed with drugs in his blood. That’s probably the reason why he couldn’t defend himself towards the person who beat him up. The bruises on his face are not all recent, must’ve been more people taking out their anger by giving him a punch or two, too.”

“Oh, Niall. He'll be fine. This is a great hospital and they know what they do. He's in great hands and I know for sure that he'll be happy and bright when he sees you here next to him. But that will take some time,  so please go down to the cafeteria and nd relax a bit."

I nodded and looked up to Louis. “You’re right. Sorry. I shouldn’t have react like that. It’s just… Harry protected me in so many ways before. I guess I just wanted to return the favor and well, protect him for once.”

“Oh, it's fine baby. Want me to stay here and text whenever something happens?”

“Call, when something happens.”

He laughed and nodded. “Sure, don’t take too long, I might bore myself here.”

…

Luke and I talked a lot the whole time. He told me everything again from when he left to when when he was back. After that we just talked about random things. I agreed to go with them to dinner tonight, not too fancy though, just probably a cheap restaurant. Might get them to go to McDonalds as well…

Louis came back in the cafeteria after almost an hour. He said he was sorry for leaving without saying shit, but he was bored as fuck and wanted to have someone to talk to that did answer. I wouldn’t blame him

“You sure you don’t come with us already? We’re heading home first so we can get changed. After we’re already heading to wherever the fuck Lou sends us to.” Luke said.

“Yeah, I know. Just text me where and I’ll come afterwards. Just need to uh…”

“Check up on Harry. We know! C’mon, babe. We’re going home, I’m bored here,” Louis whined, making me smack his head softly. “Aw!” he whined, but I couldn’t care less.

…

My hand went to grab the doorknob, but someone stopped me. “Hey, are you Niall, by chance?” I turned around to the sound of a girls voice and nodded. She smiled and I could see she was looking for me. “Great, Mr. Styles was asking for you already.”

“He’s awake?” She nodded and I felt really guilty for not being there when he woke up. “Shit, when did he wake up?” I asked quickly.

“We don’t know, must have been around 4, seeing Charlotte, one of the nurses, went inside when he was already awake and that was at 10 past 4. So we’re guessing it was around 4. Now, get inside you. He’s been asking for you ever since we noticed he was awake.” She said, smiling softly at me.

I nodded and walked in after saying my “thank you” to her. Once I reached his bed, I saw his eyes were closed. Maybe he was sleeping again? He must be tired from everything. Poor guy. Really, from the drugs and alcohol thing, I bet he’s just-  “Niall?” My head snapped down to Harry, his green eyes looking up at me, pure tiredness clouding them. He was exhausted. My heart sank a bit at the sight of how light and almost lifeless his eyes looked. That beautiful emerald green, turned into such a light green. It almost scared me.

A smile tugged at my own lips and I nodded as I walked closer to his side. “Hey. How are you feeling?”

“Okay, I guess. Just feeling really sick. My stomach feels like exploding and my head isn’t a sunny place either…” he answered, voice a bit rough and mostly very quiet. I smiled weakly at him and wanted to sit on the single chair again, but he moved a bit aside, signing that I should sit there. I did as asked and sat down next to his side. “Can you somehow tell me how I got here and what’s wrong with me?”

“You don’t remember?” I asked, almost stunned.  He shook his head, looking confused. “Well, uhm… What do you remember?”

“Well, all I can remember is that I was in a club. I was just drinking and then… then it’s all just black,” he answered.

“Was that during the day?”

He looked puzzled for a second, but shook his head. “No, no I would never drink during the day. It must have been something in the early morning. Why?”

“I knew it!” I said under my breath.

“Knew what? Huh?”

I looked down at his puzzled expression. “Oh, sorry. Well, I thought the whole day you were on drugs, but I was just joking about it, you know? And then you called and-” Now he looked even more puzzled, great! Way to go, Niall!

“Can you please be more specific? Thinking too hard is difficult right now.” I nodded and smiled a little bit.

“Well, yesterday morning, you texted me after a whole week, saying you wanted to meet up. So we did, but right from the moment I saw you, you acted so weird. It wasn’t you at all, but I just went along with it. I joked a few times about you being a druggy, but well you just kept on telling me you weren’t on drugs, so yeah…”

“But I’m not! I swear.”

“Harry, they found drugs in your blood, mixed with a lot of alcohol.” He looked at me in disbelieve.

“Ni, I’m telling you, I never have ever touched drugs in my whole life! I swear. I wouldn’t lie to you about that.” I looked down at my hands, seeing his suddenly appearing in my view as he grabbed my hand in his, making me look back up to him. “You don’t believe me, do you?” I sighed, thinking a bit. I mean, of course I want to believe him, but… how come they find drugs in his blood if he never used it before? Isn’t that a bit strange? And the fact that he, even though he was under influence of drugs and alcohol, told me I meant nothing to him and that I didn’t deserve better, wasn’t helping either… “It’s fine. I guess I get why you don’t believe me. I mean, I do have to say, it is weird that there were drugs in my blood, but…” he squeezed my hand a bit, “I’m being honest if I say, I never used drugs. Or at least not on purpose.”

“I do believe you, Harry. It’s just really weird and I don’t know if I should trust you, or not anymore. After what you said, I-“

“What did I say?” Oh, right… he can’t remember…

“Nothing important. As I was sa-“

“Niall, tell me.”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t want to think about it.”

His face fell a bit, and I guess that’s when I realized, he really didn’t say those things. It wasn’t him saying it at all. He doesn’t even remember saying it… “Did I hurt you?” he suddenly asked.

“You didn’t touch me, so no.”

“No, but… Did I say something that hurt you? I’m sorry to ask, I just don’t remember shit. Wouldn’t even know what day it is…”

“Tuesday. It all happened yesterday,” I explained.

“Oh… Well, whatever it was that I did to you, I’m really sorry about it,” he apologized. “Wait… You say it’s Tuesday, right?” I nodded, not really getting where this was leading too. “Then yesterday was Monday, right?”

“Harry, what’s your point?”

“I can’t remember Monday. That’s the thing. I can remember Saturday. I can remember Sunday till I went to that club and after I’m totally blacked out.”

“And I’m the one confusion you… Listen to yourself.”

“No, Niall. What I’m trying to say is, something must have happened at the club I went to. Liam was with me, I remember that, but I can’t remember anything after that guy behind the bar gave me a drink I didn’t even ask for,” he explained. This made me think. You can’t get pissed from just one drink. I know that for sure.

“Your drink was spoiled…” I mumbled, thinking out loud.

“What? Speak up, please.”

“Your drink was spoiled. Someone must have put something in your drink. Or after you got pissed, but I think you would remember more than just after one drink, right?”

“Ask Liam. He probably knows what happened after.”

“I hope he does. B-“ My phone cut me off and both Harry and I jumped a little before I grabbed my phone and answered. “Hello?”

“Where the hell are you? Just saying bye to someone who doesn’t answer can’t take that long!” Louis voice yelled through the speaker.

“I’m sorry, I’m just trying to help here, yeah?”

“Niall, as much as I love you, Harry is not awake. He can’t hear you, he can’t-“ Harry must have heard what Louis was saying, seeing that he got my phone out of my hands and brought it to his own ear.

“Hello, Louis.” he said over too sweetly.

“Who’s this?” I could hear his voice even when Harry has my phone….

“Someone who’s not awake, who can’t hear what Niall says and… Just so you know it, people who’re sleeping, still hear you.” He said. I had really a hard time, holding back my laughter at that.

“Give my phone back, Harreh!” I whined. He shook his head, an amused smile on his face. “Harry! C’mon!”

“I got to go, Louis. Niall too. Bye!” he said before ending the call and pulling the phone further away from me. Holding it in his right hand and up his head, I grumpily groaned and tried to reach for my phone.

“Just give it already! There’s some personal stuff on it!” I said, trying to get it back.

He laughed a bit as I reached over his body with my arm. “Hmm… what about…. No.”

“Harry!” I whined again, really wanting my phone.

“Come and get it.”

“I’m serious Harry!”

“Some personal stuff you said, right?” Oh no… “Let’s see what that might be?”

_He’s challenging you. Don’t fall for this Ni!_

“Oh well look at that, your photo album! Let’s see what we find there…” he said, challenging me even more, and when he opened it and scrolled up, not even bothering to really look, I lost it, crawled over his body and grabbed my phone. When I had it and sat back down, I noticed I wasn’t just sitting, but straddling him.

“Is this what you wanted?” I asked, sass coming up just a little bit. He smiled brightly and nodded. I crossed my arms over my chest and chuckled. “Am I not hurting you or anything?” I asked a bit worried.

“Course not. Wouldn’t challenge you into this if it would hurt, now would I?”

“I don’t know. You keep surprising me, Haz. There is always a possibility in you doing things that other people wouldn’t. “

“Haz?”

“Yeah, a nickname. Seeing we’re friends,” I said, hurting a bit from the fact I’m literally friend-zoned now…

“I like it. Don’t worry. It’s cool. I mean, I always call you ‘Ni’, so you needed a nickname for me too, didn’t you?” I laughed and nodded a bit. His hands went up to hold my hips and I must say, somehow, I managed to block everything out but the both of us. Just my perfect bubble.

Of course… Every bubble has to pop at some point… Mine just did a little bit earlier than I hoped. “We’re taking yo- Serious Nialler? When are you not trying to get in his pants? Gosh!” I groaned and let my head fall back, making me also see Louis and Luke appear in the doorway.

“C’mon, bud. We already ate!”

“That’s way too early to eat anyway. And I’m not even trying to get in his pants, gosh how do I keep up with you guys?” They both laughed and I felt Harry laughing, too, seeing I was going up and down a bit as he laughed.

“Well, or you come with us, or you don’t get food for the rest of the night.”

“Why do you suddenly want me out of here?”

“Because we care,” Luke answered.

“And because we don’t trust you alone with Mr. Reputation,” Louis added, making Harry just roll his eyes.

“We’re at least mature enough to not fuck ever second, yeah? We’re not even dating! Gosh why do I always have to defend myself?” I got off of Harry and stood up, grabbing my jacket. “Besides, I would rather stay here than hear you two moaning each other’s name out. Because I’m grossed out by you two.”

“Awe, Luke you hear that? My little baby is getting enough of us already. He’s growing up so fast,” Lou said dramatically, whipping a fake tear away.

“Oh, I have my reasons to hate both of you.”

“Sod off, we’re leaving. Now.”

“Yes dad.” I rolled my eyes. They both laughed and got out of the room. With a swift motion, I turned around and smiled a bit to Harry. “You sure you’re gonna survive without me?”

He nodded and laughed softly. “I’m pretty sure, yes. You sure you’re gonna survive those two?”

I waited a second, leaving him with an amused smirk on his face. “If I don’t come back tomorrow, we both know it was one of them or maybe even them together that killed me.” We both laughed and he looked really happy for once. His hands did the “grabby” motion, and I gave him a confused look. His lips pouted a bit and I must admit, he looks like a little child like that. But an adorable one though. “What?” I asked, still not understanding it.

“Kiss me.” And my heart stopped for a second. I blankly stared at him for a second, even though I don’t know why. I mean, we kissed before, right? But… then again… That was for teaching me stuff. He never really asked me to kiss him, for his pleasure… “I’m waiting…” he sang. I snapped out of my thoughts  bit and went back up to him, pressing my lips softly on his… cheek. Once I pulled back, he pouted even more, looking freaking cute, but I had to stay strong. “You’re really a tease.” He said, still pouting a bit. His eyes went to my cheek and I gave him a weird look. “You have something on your cheek, wait.” He said as he let his thumb go over some random spot on my cheek. His hand cupped my cheek and before I knew it, I was kissing Harry Styles.

Once he pulled away, my swollen lips already missing his, he looked in my eyes and smiled. “You’re so fucking cheesy! That was just mean.”

“Correction, that was brilliant.”

“Whatever you say. Now, I really got to go. I dare to say that they’re just standing at the door…”

“Okay. You’re coming back tomorrow, right?” he asked hopefully. Awh, now look at how desperate he is. Just too cute.

His hand grabbed mine and I looked down for a second, sitting down, too, before looking back up at him. “Of course. Wouldn’t want to miss those hot doctors in here.” There was a flash of jealousy in his eyes, I fucking swear! But I do have to say, he’s good at covering that up. “Maybe I do get something out of paying you some visi-“

He held my hips now, making it impossible to escape. “If you’re only here for those way-too-old-for-you men. Then don’t come.” Meow! Grrrr. He’s nastily jealous, isn’t he?

“Sounds like someone’s jealous.” What? Just teasing…

“Me? Jealous? Pshhh never!” he said sarcastically.

“Yeah right. Now, let me go!” I tried to pull away, but for someone who’s looking weak and all, he’s freaking strong.

“Kiss me.”

“I already did, poohead.”

“Hmm, can’t seem to remember that…” Is he fooling around with me?

“Now you’re not drugged, now the meds  are speaking. You’re tired. Go to sleep and let me go.”

“Sleep with me.”

“Harry…”

“Niall.” He smiled.

“Stop being innocent. Now, let me go!”

“After a good night kiss.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” I leaned back in and locked our lips a second time. He really is just talking because of the meds. They make you say stupid things… But… I at least get something out of this. I pulled back again and wanted to stand up again, but he still hadn’t let me go. “Harry! You promised!”

“Well, I lied.” Hmm…

“Oh, and then to think I would ever trust you!” He seemed not to be expecting that answer…

“No, no. You can trust me! I swear. Sorry.” He let my hips go and looked slightly bad, which made me feel bad, too…

“Thanks, Haz. See you tomorrow!”

“Ugh! I can’t believe I trapped into that!” I heard him say before I closed the door, seeing Louis and Luke looking at me like my mom would whenever I would come home, too late…

We drove home, me in my car and Luke in his and went inside pretty quickly. I mean, I went inside. Luke still had to drop off Louis, so after he did that and walked into our room, I was just about to close my eyes and drift off to sleep. He quickly kissed my forehead and pulled my hair a bit back, like my mother would do. “I love you.”

“Love you-“ I yawned soundly, “too.”

My eyes closed right after that and I started to fall into a peaceful sleep.

_Well that’s what I call, an interesting day…_


	39. Thirty Nine

**Warning: Mature part.**

**Please do not read if you don't like. You can easily just skip this chapter, noting important happens :D**

**Happy readings!**

Harry hovered over me once I lay down on his bed, eyes looking into mine as he did. He licked his lips before kissing my cheek softly. "You sure?" he whisper-asked me. I nodded a bit hesitatingly and closed my eyes for a second, enjoying his warm breath hitting my neck each time he breathed. His lips attacked my neck again and sucked on my skin, making me moan a bit as he found my spot. I could feel him smirking as he sucked harder on the spot, biting softly. His hips grinded down on mine and my boxer briefs grew tighter on me. I moaned loudly, making me cover my mouth immediately as I noticed how loud I was being. "Be as loud as you want. It's not like anyone could hear you," he said, pulling back a little to get my hand off of my mouth and replace them with his lips.

We simply made out for a bit, my hands on his hips as he grinded hard down on me, me gripping it a bit tighter. I pulled back and panted a bit. Never have I been so long without air... "Harry..." I breathed out. "Ne-Need. Ah... Fùck need friction. Hmm." I felt ashamed with what I said, but it was basically the truth. I needed it. Needed it so bad.

"Wait a second, babe. The longer you wait, the better it is in the end," he breathed out as he stole small kisses here and there. His hands worked down my chest, slipping under my t-shirt and on my skin. I jumped a bit from the coldness of his hands, and he looked down at me with a worried, yet amused look on his face. "What?"

"Your hands are cold," I whined. He laughed and pecked my lips again. His hands went back to my skin and this time I just went along with it. Kissing him back immediately once his breath could touch my lips. It felt weird once he touched my nipples, but hey, he's the pro here... I'm not going to judge him at all.

When I expected it the least, he pinshed my nipples, making me pull back again from his hands. "Shhh. Feels weird, I know, but will make it 10 times better. Believe me." I nodded, trusting him on his word. He continued doing the same thing for a few, way too long if you ask me. "Gonna take your shirt off, okay?" I did feel really uncomfortable with the idea of showing off my _everything but perfect_ body. "Okay?" he asked again.

"Harry... I-" _Niall, don't be a child._ "I feel uncomfortable with that idea."

He nodded and smiled, placing a light kiss on my cheek. "It's okay. Don't worry. Look, I know why you won't show me your body, and I'm fine with that. I want you to be comfortable around me. With everything. I won't judge you, I promise, but we can't get anywhere if you won't show me how perfect you are, Niall."

I nodded and closed my eyes, thinking for a second. "Okay. Do it," I finally answered in a breath.

"You sure?" I nodded again and opened my eyes for a second, so he could see the honest in my eyes. Once he pecked my lips, I closed my eyes again and let him do whatever he wanted. Within a second, I could feel my t-shirt being pulled over my head and tossed somewhere in the room. I didn't want to look at him. The look of disgust would be all over his face and I couldn't handl- "You're beautiful." _Say that again...._ "Oh, fùck Ni, you're so beautiful. How would you ever think this would be bad? You're perfect Niall." He said before locking his lips with mine again, making-out with me again.

He quickly backed away and pulled off his own t-shirt, letting me see all those beautiful abs and... tattoos. Wow. "Wow," I breathed out in a whisper, staring at all his tattoos. My eyes didn't know where to look first. He's so beautiful. It's almost impossible.

"You like it?" he teased, making me blush crimson red. "Don't worry, Ni. I was just teasing." I nodded and kept staring at his chest. Oh how much I would love to just touch him. Let my hands slide down his chest, feeling all his abs. And how much I want to trace every tattoo on his body, letting my fingers feel his coloured skin. "You can touch me. That's not illegal, Ni," he said, as if he was reading my mind...

I slowly brought my hands up and placed them on his muscular chest, right above his nipples, still on his chest though. My hands trailed down a little bit, feeling some muscles flex under my touch. His eyes were watching me carefully as all I was doing was stare at his chest. At my hands and how they smoothly trailed down to his trousers. I stopped right there, once my fingers brushed the fabric of his jeans. He leaned down again and kissed my cheek softly. "I love your tattoos," I blurred out. "And your body," I admitted, too.

"Thanks. We'll talk about such things another time. I want to go on, please." I nodded and closed my eyes once again, trying to feel everything and not see. It's a hard job to do so if you're not really sure about what's going to happen and mostly not if you're not even sure how far this would go. "I'm going to take your trousers of, darling. Might wanna lift your bum, so it's easier for me." Again, I nodded, not opening my eyes just yet.

I could feel his hands working on the button of my jeans, trying to unbutton it. Once he succeeded and he also managed to pull my zipper down, he pulled off my jeans, making me open my eyes just then. "T-That's enough," I tried to get out.

He cocked an eyebrow and smirked, leaning back down again to my lips, but not touching them. "No, darling. Have to go with this, too, but don't worry. We're not gonna have sex, babe. Just some fun." I swallowed thickly and quickly nodded my head. He grinned and pecked my lips once again. "Great. Now, wanna help me getting rid of my own jeans?" he asked. I quickly shook my head, making Harry laugh a bit. "C'mon, Love. It's nothing big. Just like what I did, but then you doing it for me." I took a deep breath and nodded before he locked his lips with mine again, only to break them quickly. "Do it while we kiss. It'll distract you a bit, yeah?" He sure talks a lot...

I did as told and while we kissed pretty intense, my hands worked on his jeans, trying to get them open and off, but that's a very difficult job, actually. I pulled back once I managed to pull his jeans down a bit, just over his bum. "C-Can't take them off." I whispered. Harry got the clue and stood up, getting out of his jeans and back on top of me. He sat down, straddling me and moved a little bit. The friction down there was incredible. I moaned out a soft "Ah" and purred Harry's name as he grind down on me, the feeling more clear now because there wasn't any jeans separating us.

"You're so sexy, Niall. So sexy," he repeated that a few more times before kissing on my neck again, slowly trailing his lips down my stomach and stopping at my bellybutton. He looked up first, his mouth still close to my skin, but his eyes looking directly into mine before he let his tong go in my bellybutton. A moan escaped once again from my lips and he smirked a bit.

He trailed further down, till he hit the band of my boxer briefs. Kisses were placed all around my hips, just where my boxer briefs and my stomach met. His teeth half-chewed on the waistband before taking it down a bit, just enough to let some public hair appear. In a swift motion, he pulled it down all the way and I covered my face again, not wanting to see the look on his face.

"Stop always covering yourself up, you're goddamn beautiful." I mentally rolled my eyes and blushed 50 shades redder than I already was. I felt him going back up, his body creating friction on my hard-on as he did. He kissed my left arm that was folded over my face and pulled them apart, away from my face before he smashed his lips back to mine. As he pulled away, he smiled brightly down at me and pecked my cheek just once more before he sat up straight, looking down at my _lower part_.

 I really felt exposed. So naked. So... vulnerable. It was almost uncomfortable. Harry's intense stare wasn't helping or making it any easier. "C-Can you stop staring?" I asked straightforward.

He chuckled and shook his head, letting his hands go up and down my chest. "If I could, I would." He smirked evilly and placed a soft kiss to my hipbone. He looked back at my painfully hard-on and smirked even harder. "Looks painful, darling." He leaned up again to my ear, biting softly on  my earlobe. "I can take care of that, if you'd like. Can make it all go away and make you feel really good. Want me to do that?" he asked. I nodded immediately and felt a light kiss right under my ear. He backed away and went down to my dîck, grabbing it pretty tightly in his fist as he did so. I groaned and moaned out of pleasure as he slowly moved his hand up and down, creating the hand-job motion.

For a few seconds, was that perfect, but it was somehow too slow. I must admit, it's way hotter when Harry does it then when I try to do it in the shower, but it's still a bit weird. "Harry... Faster," I breathed out, buckling my hips up a little bit, but being pinned down back again into the mattress with his free hand as he quickened his hand.

Another moan escaped my mouth. It's a dirty sound, but I couldn't keep it in, even if I did my best to not let it slip out of my lips, I still made that dirty, moaning sound. "You think you can handle it if I suck you off?" I was too much in trance to think, so I just nodded, letting other dirty sounds leaving my lips.

His head went down and he slowly licked the base of my member. After doing that a few times, he started to kitten-lick the tip of my member, making shivers run up my spine every now and then. "Hmm. H-Harry, p-please." I have no idea what I begged for, but it was clear enough for Harry to take my tip in his mouth, sucking softly. Right after he did that, he took in my whole length, gagging a bit as he did so. The vibration of him gagging on my member as it hit the back of his throat, made me even harder. The burning feeling in the pit of my stomach came back to me once again. "Gonna... C-um," I tried to manage out. He stopped doing what he was doing and pulled back. His warm mouth —that I was already missing- was soon replaced by his hand again as he went back up and down in a fast pace. After a few more tugs, I came undone, shooting my load all over his hand and my stomach as a loud scream of his name escaped my lips.

Harry pumped me a few more times through my orgasm before he got off of me and lay down next to me. "That... Was really hot," he breathed out, his breath hitting the side of my face as he did. I was too tired to even do shit, just lying there, lifeless. He kissed my cheek softly before standing up and walking out of the room.

When he came back, he was holding a cloth in his hands. The cloth was warm, so it wasn't really some sort of shock when he placed it down on my chest, cleaning up the mess I already felt guilty for making. "Thanks," I thanked him for cleaning me up and giving me such experience.

"Hey, no problemo." He smiled and kissed my forehead. Once he got rid of the cloth, he came back into the bed, pulling the covers over us both and cuddled closer to me. I basically spooned him, me being strangely the bigger spoon as we did. "I had pretty much fun doing that, if I'm being honest," he spoke, making me look down at him as he looked up. "Niall, I- I'm gay, or bi or whatever I am, and I think I'm ready to accept myself being it."

I smiled brightly, but sleepily and rested my head on both the pillow and his mop of long curly hair. "I'm proud of you then," I whispered, being too tired to even talk like a normal person.

"You're tired, go to sleep. I'll wake you up before I'll drive you home, yeah?" I nodded and closed my eyes.

_"You're perfect, Ni. My perfect little boy."_


	40. Forty

 

"Ni, wake up." I heard a soft voice whisper as little kisses were placed on my cheek. "C'mon babe. Luke's gonna kill me, so please, wake up." My eyes opened slowly and I groaned from both tiredness and pain as the light shone in my eyes. When I turned my head around, I saw Harry. His beautiful green eyes were shining with joy and his big smile made my day. "Good morning, sleepyhead."

"Good, wait. Morning?" I couldn't really seem to get that it was morning.

"Yeah, morning. Both fell asleep yesterday and I only woke up a few minutes ago," he explained. I nodded and yawned before closing my eyes again. He chuckled and placed his soft lips on my forehead before pulling back. "Now, don't fall asleep again. Then I have to wake you up all over again. I just succeeded," he joked, poking my side softly. I squirmed and turned around, hoping to fall asleep like that again.

The bed dipped a bit and I felt his arm around my body, his spooning mine this time. "Harry, let me sleep..." I mumbled, trying to get him away, but unfortunately I didn't succeed. Sometimes.... Is failing the best in the world though...

"You're just planning my dead by not waking up, you know that right? If your overprotective bro and friend find out you were here with me, both Louis and him kill me. So get your sexy ass up and get ready." He kissed my cheek once more before getting away from me, leaving me with a cold feeling.

After a minute or so, I stood back up and grabbed my clothes that were neatly folded and lay on a chair. Strange. I walked back to the bed and got dressed, noticing I was already in m- wait, those aren't even my boxer briefs...

I just got dressed after thinking how weird that was, and walked out the room down the stairs and into the kitchen, seeing I smelled something delicious and heard Harry's voice humming a tune. When I entered the kitchen, Harry was baking something. The radio was on and he was humming along, swaying his hips dirtily as he did.

Sneakily, I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his body from behind. He was taken in surprise, but soon relaxed and went on with what he was doing, it being making two big waffles. "Oh, hey sleepyhead. You're awake?" I smiled at his voice and nodded, letting go of his body.

He turned around and placed a wet kiss on my cheek softly. I whined as I felt his salvia on my cheek, the bacteria crawling over my cheek. "That's gross," I said as I tried to get the slime off of my cheek. He chuckled and shook his head as he turned back to the food he was making. I placed my bum on the big island in the kitchen and swayed my legs a bit. "Are you making food for me?" I asked innocently. He turned around and smiled as he saw my cute, innocent expression.

"Don't act like you're such an innocent person. If I remember last afterno-"

"Yeah yeah, don't remind me. Now, where is my food then?" He laughed and stood in between my legs.

"Can I get a kiss?" he asked cutely. I shook my head and smiled innocently.

"Food."

"Kiss."

"No. Food."

"No kiss, no food."

"Blackmail," I huffed, folding my arms around my chest and pouted.

He looked at me in awe and smiled. "Kiss?"

"We aren't even together."

He looked taken back by that answer and seemed to be in his thoughts for a second. Once he seemed to have come up with a response, he leaned in a bit, his breath against my ear and whispered: "I can change that... If you'd like." Shivers ran up my spine as he kissed my ear before going back. "Still want breakfast?" he asked. I was in such a daze. Never did I know he could make me feel so... out of space. "Hey, once Niall is back to earth, can he come and eat the perfect waffles I made? Would be an honor if my little astronaut would do so," he said, snapping his fingers right in front of my eyes.

I shook my head a little and smiled. "FOOD!" he chuckled and got away from me, getting the delicious smelling waffles onto plates as we sat down on the couch, eating the most perfect waffles I've ever eaten in my life.

...

"See you tomorrow then?" he asked. I thought for a moment and then realized, I haven't been at the gym for such a long time. Maybe I should go back and help Nena a bit. Poor girl has to do my job while I have a great time with Harry. And I still get money for it. I feel horrible for that fact.

"Uh, no sorry. I can't." I simply answered. I unbuckled my seatbelt and held my hand on the handle of the car door, but he grabbed my wrist, making me stop. I turned back around and gave him a confused look.

"Why not?" he asked.

I smirked a bit. "Awe, already missing me when I'm not even gone? Cute, Harreh, cute. But no, I have to go back to the gym and I guess I'm going to hang out with Zayn again. I haven't seen him in a while and well, I miss hanging out with friends."

"I feel offended. We're friends!"

I chuckled and shook my head lightly. "Yes we are, but I have more friends than only you. I mean, I'm not popular, but I'm not pathetic either." His face fell and I didn't understand, until it hit me. "Oh, I didn't mean it like that, sorry. Harry I-"

"No, it's fine. I get it Niall. I only have two friends, one being my ex-trainer and the other one should be my trainer now. I get it. I'm pathetic, as you say. Now go to your brother and best friend." He said, almost pushing me out.

"Harry i-"

"No, get out. I'm not really in the mood anymore. Get out of my car. I want to be alone." I wanted to protest, but seeing how mad he's getting, I thought it would be better to just not say a thing and give him what he wants and probably needs, _space_.

I got out of the car, and walked up to the door before turning around again. Harry wasn't even looking at me anymore. He just pulled out of the driveway and onto the road before he left, driving way too fast for the limit you may drive here.

With a sigh, I walked inside and into the living room. Strangely, there was no one home. Or well, maybe upstairs, but no one was downstairs, which is strange...

I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. When I noticed nothing good was on, I got the brilliant idea of paying a game. I started playing Mario Cart, seeing that's the game that was still in the TV.

After a few more minutes, I heard footsteps walking down the stairs and Gorge, Luke and Laura's dad, walked into the living room. He saw me and eyed me up a bit before smiling. "Hey, what are you doing, son?"

"U-Uh... P-Playing a game?" I stuttered a bit. We haven't talked since the day my mom and I moved in here. So, this is weird.

"Oh, nice. Luke said you weren't home last night? Can I ask you where you were? I mean, you don't have to tell me, I'm just being a father towa-"

"I was just at Harry's. And I appreciate it that you're trying to be my "dad", but guess what? You're not, and you will never be!" I got up out of anger and stormed outside again, feeling the cold air hitting my face. Somehow, this calmed me down, just a little bit.

The "dad - topic" was hard on me and I couldn't control my emotions.

With a heavy sigh, I walked further down the road and to the park. Normally I would drive to the park, seeing it's not really nearby, but I just needed the air. Oh, that and my car's still crap and is still not working. Just three more weeks and I can buy my beauty...

When I walked through the park, little birds that were chirping cutely, I felt at ease a bit. I must admit, I really feel back for yelling and throwing hurtful words at Gorge. The thing is, he will never be my real dad. Why can't he see that?

"Well, well, well... look who shows up after such a long time? And, oh. All alone I see...? Where is your precious little boyfriend? Or your overprotective fag-brother? Maybe your sassy gay best friend huh? Or, your lovely father? Oh, oops... he isn't your dad. Oh well, I'm really sorry for that, little queer."

My body froze at the voice that belongs to no one other than the worse fear of my life.

Danny...


	41. Forty One

I turned around, shaking from the in- and outside as I did. My eyes wandered up to Danny's and they didn't look all too happy when they saw me. An evil smirk was placed on his lips and I was grossed out to even think of them... brrrr. "Well? Lost your tongue, pretty boy?" I winced at the harshness of his voice. The coldness in it.

"What do you want from me?" I asked in a high pitched voice.

He laughed bitterly and rolled his eyes. "Oh, don't think you're that good to have something I want. Oh God, I wouldn't want anything from you. Just making your life miserable till you and your gay disease finally leave the world." He wants me to die? Fuck, that can't be good...

"Why do you think it's a disease?" I asked, not daring to talk about the ' _dying'_ part.

"Don't you see it? Look at Louis. Your stepbrother. Oh, and now to your lovely Harry Styles. The most rich and straight guy on earth. You were friends with them and bam! They're gay! You're a disease and I want to save the world from you. If you'd die, everyone would be happy. The world would be back at ease, and you know what? No one. Would ever. Miss you."

Tears started blurring my vision at his words. _It's not true, Niall. It's not true! Your friends and family love you. Don't listen to him!_ "You're lying."

"Oh, me? Lying? Never. Niall, you're a pathetic piece of shit. No wonder Harry was mad at you. No wonder he drove to that Liam-dude. And no wonder he told him he hates you. Niall, he hates you. I quote: "How could I be so stupid, Liam? He just thinks I'm a pathetic piece of shit. He's just my friend out of pity". Niall, Niall, Niall. Hurting someone so bad like that, that's just mean. He's so hurt. How could you? You must feel really, _really_ guilty." He said, taking a step closer to me. "Bad." Another step. "Horrible. You should feel that way, Niall. You don't deserve happiness. You don't deserve someone like Harry who's too nice to you. You'll end up in Hell, Niall. And I'll be the one that makes it go faster than it would normally," he said, making me gulp a bit.

I took some steps back, but being the clumsy me, I tripped over my own feet and fell on my bum. I winced at the feeling of my bum hitting the hard, cold ground. "Why do you hate me so much?"

He laughed bitterly and stood even more upright, showing me how much taller he is then me since I'm on the ground. "I don't hate you, Niall. I hate everything _about_ you. Your appearance. The way you dress. The way you walk. The way you act. Niall, it's not just you. It's just everything about you. I'm not the mean and rude type, Niall. But when I say that I wish you were dead and dream of the day it finally happens, then it means you're really a shame to the world." By the time he had finished, I felt bad. No horrible. No, just... I had the worst feeling ever. "I hope you die. Rather sooner than later." He said before kicking me once in the side and left.

Wait... did he just... leave? Without killing me? Without any more kicks or punches? What's wrong with him? He never misses the opportunity to hurt me. Never.

"Hey, kid. You're alright? I saw what the jock did. I guess he noticed me approaching you guys seeing he chickened out." A man, tall and dressed in a suit said. He held out his hand for me and pulled me up when I grabbed it.

"Thanks," I mumbled softly.

"Nah, anytime. Bullies are the hell. I'm glad I was walking here to get to my job today. Wouldn't want to know what would happened to you if I wasn't." I nodded and smiled. "My name's Robin, by the way."

"Niall," I said as I shook his hand.

"You seem to be a great kid. If you want to make sure the guy gets what he deserves, call me or come to my work. Here," he gave me a small cart with the info on. "I work there. You can call me anytime. I could help you giving the boy a piece of justice. " I nodded again and smiled just like before.

"Thank you so much, Mr. Robin. I'll remember it. Thanks again." He padded my shoulder and smiled.

"No problem Niall. I just have to go now, they need me at my work and I already took too long. I'll see you around, yeah?" I nodded once again and waved softly at him as he walked past me, going in the direction I came from.

Then I was alone again...

I kept on walking, the whole time, not really knowing where I went to, but strangely the path I followed, and the roads I crossed, were all familiar to me. I only realized too late that I was walking the way to go to Harry's flat. Well, speaking of too late... "What do you want, Niall?" his voice was hard and cold towards me. Ouch, that hurts.

"C-Can we talk? I-I really need someone to talk to."

Harry looked around and sighed. I was standing behind the gates, Harry on the other side as we talked. "Fine, okay. C'min." He pressed a  few buttons and the gates slowly opened. I slide through the gates and stood in front of Harry. "Now, tell me," he said, still sounding coldly.

"Inside, please?" He rolled his eyes and my question but nodded and walked me inside.

We sat down on the couch, him facing me directly as he sat with crossed legs. "Well?"

"First, I want to apologize for my words. I really didn't mean to say it like that. You know I don't see you as pathetic or whatever. You're a great friend and I'm really sorry for saying that. I felt guilty the whole time. I came home and Gorge was there, strangely. Gorge is Luke and Laura's dad and he asked how I was and where I was and he just sounded so much like a father, and I lost it. I yelled at him that he would never be my dad and such and well now I feel guilty for the yelling, but what I said... I meant it. I don't know why I actually came up to you, I just had to talk this out between us and mostly get that off of my chest. But, I just hate him so much! He never talked to me before. Never. We only talked when me and my mom still lived alone. Then we talked, oh wow... And then now suddenly he's interested in me? Ugh! I don't need him!" everything came out of me like a storm.

Harry looked at me, blank expression. Not even showing the expression he always does. "But what's wrong with him wanting to talk to you? To care about you? He loves you like a real son. He wants to protect you."

"He needs to stop to pretend he's my dad and can boss me around. He wasn't there for me when it all started, so why would I accept him to be there when I don't need him anymore? He isn't my dad and he will never be it! I don't need someone to act like my dad when he's not."

"But he's trying so hard for you. You know, he might not be your real dad, but he at least tries to be there for you. He knows he isn't your dad, but that doesn't mean you suddenly have to act so cold towards him. He wants to be there for you. Like a real father would. Yours isn't here to do so, so why would you hate on him so much?"

"What do you know about fathers? Yours is rich, loves you, is there for you and still is here!" I yelled, feeling anger boil up in me all over again.

"You really believe that? Having rich parents isn't everything you know? Want to know the reason me and Gemma live of our own? Our parents bought us two big villa's so we wouldn't be with tehm anymore. Gemma was always their favourite, but even she had to move out. Luckily for her, she had a boyfriend who loves her so much that she didn't have to stay alone in the big villa she has. She got pregnant and they still love each other! I had no one. Oh wow, I had my trainer who was the only one who talked to me like I'm a normal person. I went back to my parents a year ago, wanting to talk to them about feeling lonely and wanting back to have a connection with my parents. You know what my dad did? He yelled in my face that he didn't want me. He never wanted me in the first place. I was a mistake, as he called it. You know, Niall. Some people have it worse than you, even when they look really happy." He ended his speech. I felt really bad after he told me that, but it's not that my anger was gone completely.

"I didn't know-"

"Of course you didn't. Do you think people would react the same when they see me if they knew?" I sighed and the last bit of anger left my body. "No, they wouldn't. I know everything about parents that are and aren't there for you. You know, when you came here just yet, I wanted to believe you. I wanted to believe you when you said you were sorry and all. But you aren't or are you, Niall?"

"No, Harry, I really am so-"

"Save it. I thought you were a carrying, sweet guy, but you have so much anger in your tiny body that you will explode, and I don't want to be the one to be there when it happens. Please, leave my house."

My tears came back from earlier and I nodded, standing up. "You know? Danny's right. I only hurt you and you do deserve better than me."

His eyes widened and he stood up right in front of me, eying me up and down, probably to search for bruises or whatever. "Niall, I-"

"No, it's okay. I get it. I know when I'm not wanted." I walked out of his living room, tears spilling out of my eyes and over my cheeks as they landed on the ground.

My legs ran, wanted to just go away from Harry or anyone. I know it's pathetic, but I need to have someone to comfort me, and I know Luke and Louis would take that job on them.

...

I knocked on Luke's door and waited a few seconds before opening it. My tears were dried up, so it didn't look like I cried and I did my best not to break down right away. Luke and Louis were swallowing each other again, and I coughed, trying to get their attention. "G-Guys?"

"Ugh, not now, Niall." Luke groaned and went on with snogging Louis face.

"B-But I nee-"

"I said not now! Go away and play somewhere else, God!"

I feel like a napkin, seeing that I cried more than I did the day Harry had to go to the hospital for the drugs and alcohol in his body.

With wet cheeks, I walked back outside and walked down the driveway. "I told you nobody likes you. Harry told you himself that you had to leave as soon as possible. And even your lovely brother and best friend wanted you to go away. I guess you get the point, now?" I turned around to see Danny leaning against the wall of our house, arms crossed over his chest and a smug look on his face.

"What do you want?! Want me to give up? Want me to feel so miserable it hurts?! Well good job, because you clearly succeeded!" I yelled back at him before walking back down the driveway and somewhere random.

_How can my life turn from so good, to so horrible?_

 


	42. Forty Two

I was walking for almost the whole day. It was already getting dark, but I could still see the blue sky being a little bit light and some clouds were there, too.

"I can't believe how stupid I am." I mumbled to myself. My back was pressed against the base of a random tree and my legs were pulled up, making me sitting with my arms around my legs to keep them in place. "To think someone like Harry would really care. I only hurt him. He doesn't deserve someone like me, not such a bad person. And I don't deserve Harry, because he's just the best and I'm just a stupid guy and ugh!" I talked to myself. "I should just kill myself already. Everyone would be a lot happier."

"Do you really think that's a way to get out of trouble?" I heard someone say. I looked around me, but didn't see anyone. I looked in front of me, behind me, next to me and even under me. No one. "Killing yourself won't solve any problems." There was that voice again...

"Who's there?"

"Look up to the sky," the voice said.

I looked up like they told me and saw... nothing... Only the blue sky and the cute, soft looking clouds. "God?"

The voice laughed and I felt really weird. "No, not God. Not yet."

"Jesus?"

"Stop guessing, you're making me laugh. I know once I show myself, you'll stop talking to me, and I need you to listen."

"Are you some psycho trying to get into my head or something? Because, yes then I would stop talking to you. But otherwise, I wouldn't. I feel comfortable with you, Almost-God."

The voice chuckled again and I felt that sad feeling again. His chuckle sounds like Harry's... "Good, because no, I'm no psycho. I'm just not on your good side, but let's talk about something else than who I am, yeah? Look, Niall. I know life is hard. It will never be easy, and I'm not saying that to make you give up, because that's the last thing I want to do. But it will get better. Sometimes life just makes it a bit harder and other times you will have it easy. Just don't give up life because a stupid boy who made your life Hell. I know, that curly haired boy still likes you and you should just talk it out and with your family and friends, don't worry about them. Saying that you don't have time is normal. Sometimes people just are busy."

"God, you're creeping me out. How do you know all these things?"

"My ex-friend told me. I mean, he told everyone."

"Are you-"

He walked from behind me, probably from behind the three and smiled, showing me who he was. _Oh my..._

"K-Kenny?" I asked in disbelieve. Kenny was Danny's best friend. He was his right hand and would bully me when Danny was around, but when he was alone with me, he was actually just... normal. He always stayed on a distance when he was alone and when he was with Danny, he would often just pick on me, never all too serious, because that was Danny's work. He would get mad when someone took the opportunity to say something clever when he wanted to do it himself.

"Hey, Niall." He kneeled down, and I tried to escape a bit, but the tree was holding me back. "Hey, no. Don't be scared. Like I said, Danny is my EX-best friend. I'm not talking to him anymore. I told him he had to stop this, Niall. I swear. It was not fair to you, neither to our group. We just went along with what Danny did and say, but to be honest, we never liked it. I think we were all just kittens. Chickens that always chickened out when they wanted to say it was over. When I saw you running back out of your house, tears already streaming down your cheeks and Danny even making it worse, I felt so bad. When you were gone, I walked up to him, shove him in the wall and told him straightforward that what he did wasn't what a normal guy should do and that he deserves to be going to Hell more than you would deserve to be treated like we treated you." He said. I listened closely and for once, I knew he was telling the truth.

"T-Thank you."

"Hey, Niall. There is no thanking me. What I did was not much better. I should have stopped it way earlier, but I didn't. Don't thank me for finally standing up for you and myself when I should and could have done it when we were still in school."

I smiled softly and nodded. "Still. Thanks for doing it eventually. And for being here for me. And for basically stopping me from doing whatever shit I was about to do."

"You were about to shit?" he asked as a joke, smirking a bit before laughing. I rolled my eyes and laughed along. "I'm sorry, just lighting up the mood. Look, I know it may sound weird, but I'd love to start all over again and be friends. I mean, only if you want that, too. I'm not pushing you into anything and I get if you say no, seeing that I bullied y-"

"I'd love to be friends."

He beamed and pulled me into a bone breaking hug, but it was meant in a nice way. I hugged him back and tightened my grip on him before pulling back. "You know, even if you didn't want to be friends, I would still stalk you, seeing I don't have any friends now... Danny was my only friend along with the boys, but they were too scared to stand up for both ourselves and you."

I smiled and nodded, standing up from the ground and holding out my hand for him to take so I could pull him up with me. "I got that. I'm really happy you did that. If you excuse me now, I actually have to apologize to someone I hurt already too much... should say sorry." He nodded and smiled before hugging me once more.

We said our goodbyes and both walked in another direction.

...

When I finally came at the house I was searching for, it was already pitch dark. My phone died when I just walked out of my house, so it's not that I could answer any of people's calls or texts.

I rang the bell and waited a second before I heard the familiar voice speaking through the speaker on the gates. "You know, I'm a bit busy now. Can you come by later?"

"I don't think I can..." I said in the speaker as I pushed on a little button.

"NIALL?!"

"No, God. Duh." I chuckled softly, but didn't hear him response. Instead of that, the gates opened and before I knew it, I was pinned down on the ground, Harry on top of me, holding into my body for dear life.

"I was so fucking worried! Can you please never run away like that?! I thought you were death!"

"I am, I'm just your imagination. I'm actually a ghost and you're hugging a towel that feels like me." He slapped my upper arm and I winced, pouting as he did.  "Hey, what do you want me to say? Sorry?"

"No, just... Just never do that again. You know how freaking scary it is when your friend just runs away, and you get a call from his brother that he isn't there?" He got off of me and helped me up. "I'm sorry I'm a bit overprotective or whatever you wanna call that. I was just worried." I smiled and nodded.

"It's okay. Uh, is it possible for us to talk?"

"Aren't we now?" he asked with a smirk.

"Yes, but, please?" he chuckled and walked me inside and to the couch.

We sat down, facing each other. My legs were pulled up to my chest and feet were touching Harry's as he was in the exact same position, looking at me as he did. "Now, tell me. What just happened?"

I took a deep breath and looked down for a few seconds before looking back up in his eyes and opening my mouth. "After you dropped me off at my house and I had said something wrong, I went inside and played a cam of Mario Cart. Gorge came inside and well you know what happened then. Before I came back to yours, I was walking in the park and Danny saw his chance to get to me. He didn't hurt me psychically actually. I mean, only one kick in the side that will probably form a bruise, but that's it. He did told me that I only hurt you and that I don't deserve someone like you and well he just said a lot that did hurt me emotionally. So I came to you, and we had again something going on. That's when I ran home. I hoped that at least Luke or Louis would make me smile again, but they were too busy and told me to play somewhere else. So again, I walked outside, already crying, I might add and Danny stood at my house. He made it even worse by using the things that just happened against me, so I ran away. Ended up somewhere random against a tree, a pond in front of me. Kenny, an ex-friend of Danny came to me suddenly and we had a small chat, saying that he dumped his old friends and stood up for me and well that's when I realized how bad everything was getting, so I walked back to you to apologize for before."

He was listening the whole time, eying me carefully up and down. Once he saw I was definitely done with my explanation, he smiled and started talking himself. "I'm really sorry for everything that happened to you today, Niall. You don't deserve that kind of shit. You deserve so much better than to have such a horrible time. I wish I could go back in time and change everything, because you're such a perfect guy, but unfortunately I can't. I just hope we're back on good terms and that you're okay."

I nodded and locked my eyes on his perfect shaped, pink and soft lips. "I am," I said honestly. He smiled and nodded. I got off of the couch, his gaze following me with a confused expression on his face. His legs lay flat on the couch and that made it easier for me to straddle him. He smiled even brighter as I did and held me in place with his hands on my hips.

We stayed like that for a few minutes, just talking and looking at each other. No need to touch or anything, just this was perfect enough.


	43. Forty Three

A whole month passed and Harry and I trained a lot. I mean, we trained Harry and ever so often he would tell me to try some exercises. I ended up with hurting my wrist... Lifting weights isn't my thing... That's clear now.

We saw each other pretty much each week at least three times, but Luke and Louis told me not to be with him every day and to spend more time with them and Zayn. I'm actually happy he didn't forgot about me. I hang most of my days with him when I'm not with Harry, seeing I'm the 3rth wheel with Luke and Louis.

So actually everything was back to normal.

I was at Harry's today. It was Friday afternoon and we had just trained a lot. I mean, he trained a lot and I was the one that had to run with him... ALONG with him... means I'm so tired. Can't even stand properly.

 I had placed my bum on his legs a bit, but mostly just straddling him and his knees were pulled up a little bit so I could let my back lean against them. "You know," he started, his thumbs smoothing my skin in soft, little circles. "you must be the most perfect guy I've ever met, Niall," he said, making me blush. "I don't know why you can't see that."

"This is all really sweet, Harry b-"

"No, I'm not finished."

"Sorry."

"Like I was saying. You're perfect Niall. And well, I maybe won't succeed in making it clear to you how perfect you are, but, I know I want to tell you that for as long as I can. So, now I'm asking you, Niall James Horan. Do you want to be mine?" I almost fell off of him, my mouth wide open at his question. He can't be serious now, can he? "What do you say?" I couldn't form words. The things I want to say to him less than he deserves to know. My mouth froze a bit, just like my body. "Please, say something. Anything. I mean, say yes?"

Instead of answering, I leaned in and pressed my lips firmly against his. After a few seconds I stared to nudge my lips against his, making his move along with mine. Our lips clicked together like puzzle pieces, just like they always do, but this time it just felt even more right. We kissed a bit longer than usual, making me ache for air.

Once we pulled back, both breathless and completely in a daze, he smiled at me and I knew he just wanted to hear me saying it. "I'd love to."

Our lips found their way to each other again and we kissed just like before, because it's such a great feeling. I loved the feeling of our lips just melting against one other. Just the tingling feeling I get deep inside my stomach when I feel his touch. His soft touches. He can lay his perfect, big hands on every part of my body, and I wouldn't care. I would enjoy it. Love it. Carve it. Ask for more.

For the rest of the evening, Harry and I didn't really do shit. We just talked, watched some series and movies and ate some delicious food he and I both made. It was actually casual and normal, nothing special. Nothing other than the normal thing, yet it felt different. And it was. Because now we weren't just friends anymore. Harry was my boyfriend. And whatever happens, for me he will always be the only one.

...

"Harreh, I need to go home..." I whined. I didn't even want to go. We were lying on his bed and it was just cute and romantic, a moment we haven't spend together just yet. Sure we had like cute cuddle moments, but this was romantic, it was just... Perfect.

Harry shook his head cutely and played with my hair a bit, his other arm around my shoulder as he did. I was laying at the left side of the bed, while he was in the middle more, so he could be close to me and be glued to my side. "You can stay here. You know that."

"I need to go home, you know that."

"Who says I know that?"

"I do."

"Well, I think this night, your family will have to miss you. Now I can officially say: you're mine." I blushed at that statement and looked up at him. "Awe, you're blushing. Ni, that's so cute."

I groaned and hid my face in the crook of his neck. "Please don't say that, or I leave now."

He chuckled and kissed my hair. "I wouldn't dare to say it again. And I like to spend more time with you, seeing you're my boyfriend now. Can't you just text Luke, saying you stay with the second-best person on earth?"

This time, I was the one to chuckle. "I can, but now I'm just curious, who's the best person on earth then?"

I looked up and he smiled. "Zac Effron, duh. He's definitely an A⁺." I rolled my eyes and laid my head on his shoulder. "Hey, what did you expect? That I was going to say you? Ni, I thought you knew I'm not that cheeky." Okay now he was just joking. "Just kidding. I mean, not about the Zac Effron part, but you share the first place with him."

We both laughed shortly and I shook my head, still on his shoulder. "So Zac Effron is my rival?"

"No, don't worry about him, Ni. Even if he would ever like me, I wouldn't leave you for all the gold and cute people on earth." My heart melted at that. Okay, it was really a cliché, and very cheeky, but I still loved to hear him being so sweet and cute to me. He never is as cute and sweet like that, and I like this side of him. Ugh, what am I saying? I like all of him.

"Good, because I won't share you with anyone." He chuckled and kissed my cheek. "Bring me home, please?" I asked, once again.

"We discussed this."

"No we didn't, you just changed the topic."

"It was you that asked about the best person on earth."

"But you started talking about it."

"I did not," he defended himself, but not all too good though.

"You sure did. Now, bring me home or I walk by myself."

"Yeah sure. You walking alone in the dark night while every pedophile can take you and ra-"

"Don't say it!"

"Say what?"

"The word. Don't say it."

"What do you mean? Are you even scared of the R.A.P.E. word?"

"Yes. Now, please. You know my parents were mad last time I stayed over, I don't want my mom yelling at me that I need to do it safe ever again!" Harry chuckled and tightened his grip on my body as he did. "Don't laugh, it was so embarrassing, seeing Luke and Louis were there and even Zayn was there and I really was embarrassed. So please?"

He sighed, but nodded eventually, kissing my cheek again before standing up. "Kay, c'mon. Let's bring you home before midnight, so they don't think you're staying, right?"

I rolled my eyes, but nodded and stood up just like him, following him down the stairs and after grabbing my keys and wallet, along with my phone, we went into his car and started the not all too long drive to my house.

...

"Going," kiss. "to," kiss. "miss," kiss. "you." He said between small kisses we shared, still in his car, but parked in front of my house. The lights were still on downstairs, which means at least one of my family members is still up.

"I see you in two days. It's not that long."

"It is," he whined, pouting his plump and a bit rosy from the kissing, lips and looked puppy-like sad.

"Don't look like that. I'll miss you, too, but we're just going to see some family in my hometown."

He looked confused, a cute frown on his face. "Wait, you aren't from here?"

I laughed softly and shook my head. "Can't you hear I have like, a tiny bit of an Irish accent?" I said, smiling brightly.

"No, I don't. Thought you were French?" Okay, now he was just kidding.

"Shut up," I demanded as I pushed his upper arm a bit, feeling his muscles flex as I did so.

"Sorry, Ni. Yeah I noticed you weren't from here. So you're really from Ireland?"

"Yup, I'm from Mullingar. We moved after well, my father- you know and we stayed here, seeing I loved it here. And Louis moved along when we did," I explained. Harry nodded and smiled.

"Goodbye kiss?"

"No, ew. Your breath smells."

"You kissed me like just a minute ago."

"Touché," I chuckled. "C'mere." We locked our lips one last time and kissed passionately. His hands roamed all over my sides, chest and hips as mine just stayed locked around his neck. When I moved my left hand down to hold my body up, I accidentally pressed the horn button, making a lot of noise. I pulled back and we both looked at each other before bursting out into fits of laughter.

It didn't took long for someone to open the door, and it was Luke who was awake... Oh no... "Good job, Ni. Waking up the whole street. Poor people," Harry said while laughing.

"Oh, shut up. It wasn't on purpose. Now, I got to go, seeing Luke is eying us as if he's about to murder the two of us, so, bye."

"Kiss?"

"No. Not again. Bye H."

"Au revoir, baby." My heart swelled at that and I smiled before getting out of the car and to the door, not even daring to look at Luke.

Of course, once inside and the door closed, I felt myself being brought back by some strong hand that pulled at my t-shirt. "Not so fast," he said, turning me around a bit. I smiled innocently and played with my fingers as I let my foot make some small circles in its place. "Couch. Now." I nodded, not daring to say no to him now and placed my bum on the couch, Luke immediately following and sitting in a position so he could face me, his knees up to his chest. It was silent for a few seconds, till he clapped his hands together and gave me a mixed expression of confusion and amusement. "What just happened there?" he asked in a fast speed, but still auditable.

"N-Nothing."

"You're such a terrible liar. I mean, Niall, I know you for a few months now already, and that means I know when you lie and when not."

"Whatever, I'm ti-" I stood up, but was pulled back by him immediately when I tried.

"No, you aren't going anywhere. C'mon Nialler. We're brothers. Friends. You can tell me everything, okay?" I nodded and smiled. It was silent for another second, and he sighed. "You can tell me everything _now,_ " he pushed.

"Stop pushing me to tell you something. It's not the way I want to tell you Harry asked me to be his boy- best friend. Yeah. Best friend."

His eyes widened a bit, and so did his smile at the same time. "BOYFRIEND?!"

"Shhh. Please, don't yell. No one needs to know just yet." I tried to shush him a bit, holding my hands up slowly so he could get the clue.

"Niall, that's amazing!" he said, still loud, but a little softer though.

"Shut up, gosh!" I whisper-yelled, being a bit mad.

"Sorry, Bro. I'm just really happy for you. You like him already for what? A year?"

"No need to exaggerate, now..."

"I'm not. C'mon, ever since you saw him, you're all over him. I'm really happy and mostly proud of you. C'mere, lil bro." he said, pulling me into a hug. "I'm so happy for you two. You should bring him over for di-"

"One, no! Two, you sound like my mom." He chuckled and pulled away from me.

"I'm sorry, I don't know. Last time I wanted to mess up his face, if I remember correctly," he chuckled. "but luckily he makes you happy, so I think I just got exited."

"Yeah, I noticed. But, please, Luke. I beg you. Don't tell my mom, Gorge or Louis. Please."

"Nialler, you know I can't kee-"

"Please, Luke. Please. I don't need them to tease me or annoy me or whatever they always do when I like or have someone. So please, promise me you won't tell your dad, mom or Louis."

"But Louis is my-"

"Promise?"

"Ni-"

" _Promise_?"

"Ugh, fine."

"Yes!"

"BUT, if he find out, or he knows something is up, Nialler, I'm not going to lie for you. He's my boyfriend, c'mon. You don't lie in a relationship. That's something I just don't do. I don't lie and I don't keep things away from him."

"You aren't lying if you just don't tell him. That's something different. And he will get to know it one day. Just from me, and not you. And when I'm ready to hear the teasing and the joking. Okay?"

He seemed to be in thoughts for a second, but nodded and smiled. "Okay, I won't tell them, but I'm not lying either okay?"

"No. No lying, but at least tell him that I have to tell him something, not telling yourself. If he hears it from you, he'll be mad at me for not telling him and I don't want that."

"That's pretty logical." I nodded and hugged him closely to me.

"Thanks, Luke. Now, I'm going to sleep. You coming? It's already midnight."

"Oh, God. So late already? Pfff, yeah let's go."

We both went upstairs, changed into something to wear to bed and said our goodnights to each other before drifting to sleep, Harry's way of asking me to be his repeated over and over.

_"Niall James Horan. Do you want to be mine?"_


	44. Forty Four

_"You're worthless, Niall."_

_"No, I'm not!"_

_"Oh, but you are. No one loves you. You're so ugly. You're so weak. Just a piece of nothing. A waste of space. You should just blow up and be gone."_

_"That's not true! Harry loves me!"_

_"Oh, please he's just there for the sex and once he finds someone better than you, which I hardly doubt will take long, he'll dump you like as if you never existed in his eyes."_

_At this point I was a crying mess. My arms were wrapped around my legs as my knees were pulled up to my chest. I kept repeating in my head that it all wasn't true. It was all a lie, right? Just a lie. They can't get to me. They can't! I have Harry now. And Luke and Louis and mom and even Gorge. They can't get me._

_"Oh, Niall... You know what I think about you?"_

_'Don't say it, don't say it' I thought._

_"You're the most pathetic person ever! Oh wow! You need an award for that, don't you? Most pathetic and worthless piece of shit ever existed!" they're lying!_

_I looked up through glassy eyes. No one was there, it were only their voices. I was placed in a white room. No, more a white box. Like the cube but then without any furniture. Only white walls without a way in or out._

_And then it hit me._

_This is a dream. Just a dream!_

_"Niall..."_

_"Shut up! This is just a dream you stupid prick! You can't get to me because this is my dream! And in my dream Harry loves me! And you wanna know something hilarious? He does in reality, too!"_

I slowly woke up and opened my eyes, directly looking up into green ones, making me jump a little. "Good morning to you too, babe," he said, chuckling softly.

I groaned and held a pillow on my face to cover up my blush. I totally didn't expect him to be here, in my house, on a morning, on my bed, on my legs. No, I never expected that to happen. "What are you doing here?"

He pulled away my pillow from my face and smiled. "I'm here to surprise my boyfriend, well thank you very much. Your best friend wanted to wake you up by spilling a bucket of water on top of you, so I guess I had a better way to be waking you up, right?" he placed a kiss on my lips and I smiled into the kiss.

We pulled away and I quickly pecked his lips again. "Much better," I sighed in happiness. He laid himself next to me and looked at me. It wasn't really a good idea, seeing that my bed is a single bed, means it's too small for more than one person, but I was able to stay in bed and not fall out as he did. "How late is it anyway?"

"Only half past nine."

I jumped up and spread my eyes. "Really? Oh god! It's late! I overslept!"

His hands pulled me back down and held me down, close to his body. "Relax baby, Luke told me to let you wake up by yourself, seeing you didn't get a lot of sleep lately, I mean, that's what he said of course." I nodded and curled up into his chest. "Still tired?" he asked then. A yawn escaped my lips, but I shook my head, not needing the sleep anymore.

After a few minutes of doing nothing and being lazy, we got up and I took quickly a shower. Each minute that passed, I turned the heat of the shower higher, making it warmer and warmer every time. When I was done showering, I wrapped a towel around my waist and stepped out of the shower, hitting the cold ground. Everything after happened just really fast. My view got blurry and after even black. I just blacked out and I could feel myself falling, but I couldn't stop myself from doing it.

I must have made a lot of noise, seeing that when I 'woke up' I was met with a worried expression on Harry's face as he was holding my face in his hands and studying it. "Oh, Ni. What the fuck just happened? Are you alright? You hurt something?" he asked, I tried to sit up, but my head was hurting, my leg hurt a bit and I could feel my little toe hurting, too.

I winced a bit, and looked up to Harry's face that got more worried every second. "I'm alright. I think I just passed out. Was I long out?"

He didn't answer right away, just looking at me with so much worry. "No, I heard something fall, so I rushed inside and saw you on the floor, I was just beside you when you came back to the world, so I guess you weren't out for long." I nodded and weakly smiled. He really worries too much about me.

...

"Harry, I'm okay." I said as he was basically carrying me down the stairs.

"I don't like to take the risk of you passing out right on the stairs. Oh, and we're taking you to the hospital."

"Wait, what? Why? I'm fine, really. It's just passing out once. I'm alright."

"No, I don't think you're "alright". Niall, I'm just worrying. I've never passed out, so I wouldn't know about it, and if it would be normal, I would know it, wouldn't I?" We reached the ens od the stairs and he let go of my arm -that he was holding tightly- and wrapped his arm tightly around my waist, not daring to let me go.

"We'll ask my mother," I said finally.

"Ask your mother what?" I heard a female voice ask. I turned to the door and looked at my mom who was standing there.

"Niall passed out, Mrs. Horan and-"

"Oh, Harry darling, please call me Maura, or mom. Whatever you like, but I'm no longer Mrs. Horan." Harry nodded and apologized. "But, baby? Passing out? What happened?"

"I don't know, just showered and when I came out I passed out."

"Oh, love. Be careful with that. Don't turn the water too hot. Your veins grow tighter when you're in a too hot place and when you reach something that's colder then your shower was, you just pass out, because your brain doesn't get enough blood." My mom explained. I nodded and smirked at Harry.

"See, I'm not going to die. It's just from the warmth of the shower." Harry rolled his eyes and I couldn't help myself, but be proud of myself.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. I'm just worried. And I may worry about you, just so you know it. Well, anyway, I should get going though. Going to meet up with Liam again."

"What about training? Weren't we going to run today?"

"And making you pass out again? Ha, I don't think so. Stay inside, is my advice. Text you later okay?" I nodded and walked him to the door, but not being too close, seeing my mom was watching us closely.

"Bye Harry!" I smiled.

"Au revoir, babe." He kissed my cheek, also noticing my mom was watching and then walked out to his car.

When I turned around, I wasn't expecting anything different then the look on my mother's face. She grinned and had her arms crossed over her chest. "Niall."

"Mother."

She rolled her eyes at me and smiled. "I'm not your _mother_ -"

"Oh? So you lied my whole life?! Didn't see that coming!" I was just joking, but my mom doesn't like those kind of jokes.

"Ni, you know just as much as I do that you're mine. You come out of me, just so you know it. I had you 9-"

"I know! Don't need to hear my birth-story all over again, it was bad enough to hear it the first time. No one wants to know how they're born. It's- Ew!"

She chuckled and shook her head. "You sure are a son of mine. Always know how to change topic. Now, Harry seems quite close to you, huh? How did he come in this morning- or wait... was it even morning when he came he-"

"MA! No, Harry was here only in the morning, he woke me up seeing that Louis would be waking me up by making me wet with ice cold water, no offence, but I think I like Harry's way a little more." I tried to defense myself, but... from what?

"Ugh, Niall baby. When are you going to learn that you can fool Luke, you can fool Louis, but you can't fool your mother. I know when my baby is loved by someone else than me and when not. Now, tell me. Since when is this going on?"

I hesitated for a second. Should I tell her about the sex-learning thing or not? I decided not to eventually and went on. "Since yesterday. He asked me to be his boyfriend and I said yes. Now, please save your jokes and comments, I don't wanna hear them in the morning. Tease me all day, but please not when he's around yeah?"

"Meow! You're a bit moody. I wasn't going to tease you at all, my baby. But now you mentioned it, I might gonna do it anyway. But just so you know it, I'm really happy for you Ni! And I'm really disappointed that you wanted to keep it away from me."

"I'm sorry, Ma, but I just didn't like the idea of you teasing me once again. I know you and as much as I love you, I don't like to always have your comments on me, my crush or simply my lifestyle. Ma, I really like him. And if you make him feel as uncomfortable as you can make people feel, then I don't think he will stay with me longer than a day. So please, don't embarrass me or make him uncomfortable, please?" She rolled her eyes but nodded, pulling me in for a hug.

"I'm so sorry you have to think like that, Ni. You're just my baby boy, you know? I'm your mother and I always feel the need to embarrass you. I'm sorry. You know I love you, right?"

"And I love you more than anything, Ma. You know that." I pulled back and kissed her cheek. "Don't worry, I might grow up, but I'll always be your little boy, remember that." She nodded and whipped away a single tear. "No, mommy, don't cry now."

She laughed through her tears and smiled. "I'm sorry baby. I just don't want you to grow up. You're the best that ever happened to me, you know that, baby. I never, ever had any second thoughts about you. Not even that it was with the wrong man, because I would never have had you the same if it wasn't that moment, that second, and with that man. I love you, Niall. Harry might be your boyfriend," she came closer and held my chin in her hand, smiling a bit more happy. "but you're mine." She said through gritted teeth, joking softly. "I promise not to embarrass you all too much and I won't tease you at all when you're here or when you're gone." I smiled and nodded, being really relieved that she wouldn't do that.

...

**FROM: Sex God ♥**

**_'Babyyyyy!'_ **

I chuckled and shook my head as I read his message he had sent me an hour or so ago. He's really an idiot, but he's at least mine.

**TO: Sex God ♥**

**_'Harreeeeeeh!'_ **

**FROM: Sex God ♥**

**_'I missed you :( Come cuddle me? xx'_ **

**TO: Sex God ♥**

**_'Missed you, too. And can't. You know my mom likes me home...'_ **

**FROM: Sex God ♥**

**_'I can also sneak in there? Xx'_ **

**TO: Sex God ♥**

**_'Good luck ;) you never get in here, Harry xx'_ **

**FROM: Sex God ♥**

**_'What if I would tell you I'm already close to coming in?'_ **

**TO: Sex God ♥**

**_'Then I'd be scared shitless, and that also means everyone can come in... xx'_ **

**FROM: Sex God ♥**

**_'Open your window, Babe.'_ **

Is he out of his mind? My window is pretty high. Also, I share a room with Luke...

"Hey, Ni? I'm going to spend the night with Lou, yeah? Don't be scared without me. Love you, lil bro. Bye!" Luke said as he quickly opened the door to tell me. If this isn't just faith...

"Uh, yeah, sure. Hey, Luke?" he nodded and smiled. "Has this to do with- uh, no never mind. Have a nice evening and night. Oh and use protection," I winked.

He rolled his eyes and chuckled. "As if we never had sex before, c'mon, Ni. You know Lou better than I." I laughed and nodded. "Same to you, oh and don't be loud, babe. Dad and Maura are still here and Laura sleeps the door next to ours, so shush it." My eyes widened and then I knew it was definitely Harry's idea for Louis and Luke to stay together this night. Ugh... Smartie...

I ran to the window and opened it. And as if on cue, Harry crawled through it, smiling proudly at me as if to say that I should be proud of him for sneaking in through my window. Before I could say something about it, he walked up to me, held my face in his hands and pressed his plump lips on mine, kissing me with so much force and love. We pulled back after a few seconds, both needing air. He smiled and kissed my cheek. "I missed you."

"Missed you too, Harry," I said as I smiled, my head still in his hands. He pecked my lips shortly, before dragging me to my bed and laying down with me on top of him. His arms were wrapped around my back and his fingers were drawing small figures on my back as we slowly and passionately kissed.

....

"I wish I could lie here forever."

"Why?"

"Because I have you in my arms. It's the only place I want you to be."

I cooed and kissed him shortly. "You're adorkable."

He chuckled and gave me an amused, yet questioning look. That expression was seriously the cutest ever. I love his weird expressions. They all look so cute. My favourite is when he frowns a bit, but is too amused with me to frown completely, so it looks really weird, but really cute. "And that means?" he asked, breaking my trail of thoughts.

"It means you're adorable, but you're still a dork. So, adorkable." I smiled innocently. He chuckled again and kissed my nose, then my cheek and after my lips.

"You keep surprising me, Niall," he chuckled, "but I think that's why I want to be with you so much." He said. I cooed again and then thought about something.

"Oh, I have something for you!" I smiled proudly. Earlier this day, I decided to do what Harry does the best, besides being perfect and singing and cooking an- He really is good at a lot...- But I decided to draw something. I was really proud of it, but I guess it's actually just laughable.

I stood up and walked to my desk that I sort of share with Luke and grabbed the drawing. With a innocent smile tugging at my lips, I turned back around, the drawing behind my back. "Ni, you really don't have to have anything for me. The fact you said yes to be my boyfriend was already the best gift ever."

"No, and it's nothing big either. I found out I really suck at everything you're good at... But... I tried to draw this for you," I said as I handed him my drawing. He smiled brightly as he took it in his hands and I don't know why, but he was looking proudly at my really-not-even-looking-like-it heart. It looks more like a big, bad circle. But well, I at least know how to spell Harry... and my own name...

"Aw, Ni, it's beautiful," he said, smiling so brightly I guess his eyes were hurting from it. He stood up and hugged me tightly.

"It's. Just. A. Drawing. Harry. Nothing. Really. Big." I said. "You're. Killing me. Can't. Breath." He chuckled and let go of me, pressing his lips right after that firmly onto mine.

"Ni, this is perfect. You're perfect. I love it," he said, smiling and still watery eyes. Really? I never saw someone failing at drawing a heart, and well... I did. So...

"Harry, it looks like a very bad circle. Or a heart that's been attacked by sharks, then eaten by crocodiles and after that being thrown up..."

"You're gross, and it's not. I think it's the most beautiful drawing ever, Ni." He kissed my hair and held me tight just once again. "I want to try something tomorrow, is that okay?"

"Depends on what?"

"Nothing dangerous or anything that might hurt you, don't worry."

"Then tell me."

"No, it's a surprise."

"Tell me!"

"No."

"Please?"

"Nope!"

"Harry! Tell me! Please?"

"No, now come to bed it's late."

"It's only 11pm. And we're not sleeping in my bed. The guest room has a bigger bed."

"That's late and that's fine by me."

"Tell me."

"No."

"Okay, then I won't get in bed with you."

"You're really going to be difficult about this, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Still a no."

"Bye Harry!" I walked up to the door, and smirked when my hand was on the doorknob, about to go out.

"Ni, don't do this," he basically pleaded, giving me this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Then tell me?"

"Tomorrow, I will."

"Harreh..." I whined. He chuckled and walked up to me, kissing me in my neck softly.

"Bed, now," he sort of demanded. I melted under this and finally gave in, dragging him with me to the guest room and into the double bed. We were spooning, he being the bigger spoon, for a change.

There was an awkward silence for a second, and then he pressed a kiss to my cheek. "Good night, baby."

"Good night, Haz." He chuckled and kissed my neck. 

I felt sleep rushing over me and just as I was about to fall asleep.

"I'm going to draw you, baby.

_Naked."_


	45. Forty Five

"Niall!" I heard some voice whisper. Pffff, I'm probably just dreaming...

"Niall!" There it was again... Strange.

"NIALL!" The voice whisper-yelled, and that's when I opened my eyes and looked into the dark room. I looked around me, seeing Harry still asleep on my chest now, his left arm wrapped around my stomach, holding me softly. I turned my head to the door and saw a black figure standing in there, the flashlight of his phone luckily shone right to his face, making me realize it was Luke. "Dear God, Ni! You sleep really deep!" he whispered madly.

"Sorry, what's wrong?" He did with his hand the 'come with me' motion, and I got that this was going to take longer than a few words. I looked back to Harry once again and smiled softly as I unwrapped his arm from my stomach and let his head rest on the pillow softly. He's so beautiful when he sleeps, Gosh! Should remember to take a picture of that one day...

I quickly walked out of the room and closed the door softly behind me, making sure he wouldn't wake up from it. "Ni, I'm scared."

"Oh, c'mon. Aren't you old enough to not be scared in the dark?" I joked softly. At the expression on his face and the fact he didn't even smile, made me worry and I got a straight face again. We both quickly walked into the living room, hoping no one would hear us there and sat down on the couch.  "What happened? What's wrong?"

"Louis. I-I don't know. He says he's fine, but, Ni. He bleed last time we- you know? I'm so scared I did something wrong or hurt him or whatever. Niall, I don't know what to think." He said, teary eyes covering his blue ones.

I heard some noise from the stairs, signing we woke someone up. When we both looked up, Harry walked in, looking really tired as he was rubbing in his right eye softly, looking like a little kid. "Ni?" he asked. I softly smiled and padded the spot next to me. "No, sorry, I'll just go ba-"

"No, Haz. Stay, please. I'm going to make some tea for the three of us, yeah? Keep him some company, babe," I said as I stood up and walked into the kitchen, fixing us some tea. I could hear them talking in the silence and glanced back into the living room, seeing Harry had wrapped an arm around Luke and my stepbro cuddling into his side a bit.

"Hey, what's wrong? I mean, you don't have to te-"

"L-Louis. I-I think I hurt him or something." Luke answered him before he could finish his sentence.

"O-oh... Uhm... Well, maybe I can help you?" Harry asked.

"D-Don't think so."

"Look, sure we may not be best friends, I know that, too. But you can thrust me. Please, just tell me what's wrong? Maybe you're right, but there is a chance I can help you?" I never saw Harry so carrying. Mostly because it's someone else than me or a little kid.

"M-Me and L-Louis were h-having s-sex and-and," Luke sobbed. My heart literally broke at the sight of Luke crying. It's a heartbreaking thing, really.

"Shhh. It's okay. I'm 100% sure it's all gonna be okay, yeah? Try and tell me calmly what happened. Tell me this while taking deep breaths and resting a little. Relax, okay? I have you, and till Niall is back, I won't let you go, yeah?" Okay, well that melted my heart totally!

"A-After Lou and I h-had sex, he started b-bleeding and I-I didn't know what to do. He told me he was alright and that it was normal, but I don't think it is. We had sex before, that never happened." Luke explained.

"You know, you don't have to worry that much actually. I mean, sure I never did it with a guy before, but I read, that if you're just doing it without any, or enough lubrication, it might just rub the skin open, making a small scratch. Those fuckers can bleed a hell lot. It's probably just that, okay? If you're 100% sure it can't be that, then just go to the doctor with him, yeah? But I think he knows better what's up with his body than you do." Harry seriously sounded like a pro, and I must say, that was sexy, cute and sweet all at the same time.

"Thank you so much, Harry. I actually feel a bit more relieved. It might be that, because he was so eager, so we didn't use any."

They hugged shortly and that's when I came back inside, without tea... "Where's the tea?" Harry asked.

I just smiled mischievously and he shook his head in amusement. "Of course... Ni, sometimes you really know what to do. Thanks, bro. I'm going to bed, seeing it's only 2 in the morning. I see you both tomorrow, yeah?"

We nodded and the three of us walked back upstairs, Luke going in our room and Harry and I into the guestroom.

"You were amazing, babe." I complimented him.

"Thanks, I'm not really good at those things, but I did my best."

"I'm proud of you Harry.

_Really proud."_


	46. Forty Six

"Harry, did you draw this?" I asked as I was looking at a drawing of a tiger. It looked scary, seeing that the tiger in it was mad. He was looking furious, but somehow you could see in his green eyes, that he was scared. Scared of something where the love is stronger than the fear. It was beautiful.

Harry looked up at me as he was going through some papers and smiled. "Yeah, I did." I just looked at it for another minute, trying to see what he was feeling. He must have been really furious when he drew this. Soft, big hands resting on my hips and his chin was placed on my shoulder as he was looking with me. "You can see that I wasn't in the most happy mood," he said and I totally agreed to that statement. "I guess it was the day when my parents didn't want to let me back in. You know? Did I ever tell you that story?"

"I guess you did. Wasn't it that your parents made you and Gemma leave and you wanted to go back in with them, seeing you were lonely and Gemma had her boyfriend, back then?" He nodded and hummed softly.

"Yeah. Well, the day, after they told me I was not allowed to stay with them any longer, was the day I drew this. I was so mad, oh Ni, you wouldn't be able to believe how furious I was."

I turned my head around and kissed his cheek softly. "I actually understand why you were so furious. I would be, too." We looked at the drawing for a few more seconds in complete silence. "It's you, isn't it?"

"What's me?"

"The tiger? He has green eyes, just exactly looking like yours. It's your colour, perfectly." He hummed again and pressed his lips lightly on my hair before backing away. I turned around to see the expression on his face.

"I don't even really know why I drew a tiger. I just felt like one. Tigers are dangerous, that was the way I felt."

I took a step closer to him again and smiled. "But tigers are beautiful creatures, just like you." He rolled his eyes and leaned in to kiss my lips softly. His plump lips were nudging mine just a tiny bit, making me realize that I should respond to the kiss and that this won't be lasting only 2-3 seconds.

After a few seconds, we pulled away, both breathless and in a daze. "Ni," he breathed out. "What I said yesterday," again, another small pause. "I want to do that now," he breathed out in one long breath.

My cheeks heated up at the thought of him wanting to draw me... Naked...

His hand grabbed my jaw softly and made me look deep in his eyes. "You don't have to if you feel uncomfortable with it. Just know, you're more than beautiful. You're so perfect, Ni. And if you would let me draw your beauty, oh Ni, you have literally no idea how much of an honour it would be for me to draw something that's more beautiful than anything in the world." Ugh, cheeky bastard.

"N-No. I'm okay with it. Besides, you already saw me naked, didn't you?" He chuckled and nodded.

"I sure did. And let me tell you this, it was the most perfect view ever." I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Now, I suggest you get dressed, or well, rather undressed and please, meet me back here. I'll just clean up here a bit." I felt myself blush once again, and nodded, looking down a bit. "You're sure you're okay with this, right?" I softly nodded, not looking up just yet. He kissed my temple and cupped my face in both hands, bringing our lips softly and slowly together.

...

I must say, I took longer in the bathroom, getting undressed only than I should, but I was so insecure about my whole body. The mirror was just judging me. Laughing at my appearance. The feeling of needing to stop this all was so strong, but I just let it go and stopped over thinking it.

With shaky legs, I walked out after I made sure I was wearing Harry's robe so I was at least covered up a little bit.

When I walked back in, I saw the whole place being changed. A big couch on one side, a smaller one on the opposite side of it. His drawings were still everywhere, but it looked a bit more cleaned up though. Harry himself was going through some of his pencils before he heard me walking in. He looked up and smiled brightly at me. With a pencil in his hand, he walked up to me and kissed me passionately. "Ready?" he asked me as our lips were only brushing softly. I quickly nodded and I could feel him smiling.

Harry took place on the smaller couch and got his paper and pencil ready as I also stripped out of the robe, exposing my whole body. Once I sat down on the couch, spreading myself a bit, so I was basically lying on the couch, Harry looked back up and let his eyes wander down my whole body. "How do I have to be lying?" I asked innocently.

He licked his lips and I could see  that he was struggling with getting anything out. "J-Just uh... could you- could you maybe lay your arm like, right above your head? So I can have a better view to your face of course." He was explaining himself even though he didn't even had to do that.

I did as told and lay my arm just above my head, my whole left side exposing even more. I was sort of lying on my back and a bit on my right side, turned towards Harry.

He pressed his pencil on the paper and I think he was nervous or something, the way his hand was softly shaking a bit and he was sticking out his tongue. After a second, he started to draw a line. And another one. He looked up after almost every line he drew, looking at or my body or my face.

I must admit, being the one someone draws, is really boring, but I'm fine with it. As long as I can see Harry drawing, it's okay. He's so beautiful when he's concentrating on something. His tongue was out of his mouth, resting on his plump bottom lip. His eyebrows were knitted together in just the cutest way. Each time he looked back up at me, I could see his eyes moving slowly to the part he needed to see. His pupils were blown a bit each time he let his gaze wander over my exposed body.

"Don't move, I need you to stay in the exact same position." I wanted to nod, but that wouldn't be smart, so I softly whispered an 'okay' and let him go on with drawing me.

After a long period of time where I literally felt like sleeping, he stood up finally and laid his paper and pencil on the couch he was sitting in. I looked up at him, curious, but still not moving. As he kneeled down and kissed my forehead, I knew I could move again, and I did that right away. Grabbing the robe I was using before, I covered up my legs and member and looked back up. Harry smiled at me as he let the fingertip of his index finger slowly kiss my chest.

"You were great, Ni. Perfect," he whispered, kissing my lips too.

"Can I see it?"

"Maybe one day."

I sighed and giggled as I felt his lips on my ear, breathing out softly.

_"I really, really like you Niall James Horan."_


	47. Forty Seven

 

 

Two months passed and Harry and I were still the happy couple we were before. After a pretty long time -6 months already-, we still haven't been on a date... nor had our firs- _my_ first time. So yeah...

I guess it's actually okay, seeing that I'm not ready for such a big step already, but somewhere I personally think it's actually a way to show love. I might be wrong there, but it's just how I see it.

Anyway, Harry and I were pretty happy and for now, we're only planning on going on a trip to Paris.

On the other side of Harry and I, we have Louis and Luke, who aren't really on good terms right now. They had this huge fight last night –hehe that rhymes- and after it happened, Luke walked out like a madman and Lou started crying. I must say, at these moments, I really need Harry, but he had to go to his parents because someone came and they definitely wanted to show their beautiful children. So Harry wasn't an option. I have never hesitated to help Louis out, but last night I was having a fight with myself whether or not I should go after Luke or stay with Lou. I eventually called Zayn and he was here in a few minutes, so I ran out and searched for Luke. The bad thing of this all is that Lou is a walking wreck and Luke is somewhere only God knows...

"He'll be home soon, Love. Don't worry that much. You know, the longer you frown, the longer it'll stay like that." I turned around and gave my boyfriend a dead glare, really wanting to snap his neck right now, if I may say that.

Louis was lying in Harry's lap and looking up at me, sea blue eyes looking hurt into my icey blue ones. Harry was going through Lou's hair with his hand, softly soothing him a bit. "As much as I don't even want it to be, Harry's probably right. He'll be back any time soon and I'll be gone then," Louis said, closing his eyes softly.

I rolled my eyes and started to walk up and down the hall again. "Babe, please, you're making me sick. Sit down and wait. By walking around and stressing even more, you won't get him here anytime sooner. It's not that if I say now: Luke appear! That he w-" There were some noises coming from the door, and in walked a wreck of a Luke. Harry looked at his finger that he had pointed to the door in disbelieve. "Wow..." he said.

I ignored him and ran up to Luke. He was one, big, wet giraffe. His hair was dripping and so did his clothes. He was shivering a bit and sniffing a lot. When I turned around I could see Louis was hurt to see him like that, but he didn't move one bit, just cuddling closer to Harry. With all the speed I could find in my body, I rushed to the bathroom to grab a soft towel and wrapped it around Luke's shoulders once I was back, making sure he wasn't that cold anymore. "Oh, my. Luke, are you alright? Shit. C'mon, we're going upstairs, yeah? Getting you warm cloths and you're going to take a nice warm shower, okay?" Luke just sniffed some more and got out of his shoes by using his feet.

Once we were upstairs, I helped Luke getting in the bathroom and let the shower run for him, so when he got in, it would be warm. While he was getting in, I walked back into our room, grabbed some sweats and a sweater and laid it on his bed. With a big sigh, I walked back downstairs and gave Harry a confused look when I saw he was the only one downstairs. "He ran off! I couldn't stop him either way. Ni, he's just hurt. I think it's better if he wouldn't talk to Luke for just a few days? After some time has passed they'll be on good terms again, I'm 100% sure about that." I nodded and smiled weakly before sitting in his lap, straddling him a bit.

"I know, I might be too motherly, but Louis is my boy and Luke is my brother. I just love them so bad, babe. I can't seem to be able to watch them having a fight."

He nodded understandingly and kissed my cheek softly. "They'll be fine. I promise. Let's say, we just keep them some company yeah?"

This time I was the one that nodded, again. "You take Louis, I take Luke?" He agreed and kissed my lips passionately.

"I hate to say this, but your best friend needs me more than you do now, babe. Going to rescue him from the rain, yeah?" I pecked his lips one last time before getting off of his lap. He stood up and hugged me one last time before he went to the front door and grabbed his keys and walled along with his phone. "I'll see you once everything is settled down, right?"

I whined a bit, not wanting to be separate from him for what might be longer than a month, but nodded anyway. "Okay, bye, Haz!"

"Au revoir, baby."

...

Three fucking days later, and still Luke and Louis haven't talked to each other. "Luke, darling. You really have to get out of your bed, Laura is missing you, baby." It was already so bad, that I didn't see any other way than my mom. She of course immediately came to us and sat on the edge of Luke's bed. Luke himself was basically curled up in a ball, his head under the comforters as he was dry sobbing, no tears left I guess. I really feel bad for him. He doesn't deserve this.

Mom looked up at me and shook her head slightly. "I don't know either. All I know was that I visited Louis, Harry was still there which really made me feel relieved and when I came back, Luke was back to this..." I explained.

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Gosh, Ni. I'd love to help, and I know you want to help, too, but this is their problem. Don't get involved, okay baby?" This time I rolled my eyes. "Ni, it's just for your own good. If you come in between them, they'll both want you on their side, and Luke's your brother while Louis is your best friend. You can't choose between them and you know it. Look, baby. This is what I suggest, you get Luke and Louis together in one room and let them talk. If everything turns out the right way, it's great. And if not, they should just cut it and get over with everything, but each on their own way and tempo. You got that, baby?" Ugh, I hate it when she lectures me.

"Yeah, of course." I quickly kissed Luke's hair and got out of my room.

Let's visit Lou once again...

...

"I did not!" I half laughed-half yelled.

Three weeks passed and Luke and Louis were sort of back together. It was still a bit awkward, but they were okay with everything, I guess. Luke did say he wanted to take everything serious from now and that he needed time to go back to the old times, but Lou said he was fine with everything, as long as they would be together –which I of course almost cried at.

"You so did, I almost died last night! Ni, your farts smell really bad." I rolled my eyes and chuckled.

"Finally someone who agrees with me! I've been telling him this from the moment we got to know each other and he never believed it!" Louis said, laughing a bit.

I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest liked the little kid I am. "Now, baby. Don't pout. I still like you, even when your farts are hell."

I groaned and hid my face in the crook of Laura's little neck. She's been sitting in my lap for the past two hours or so, playing in silence with her two Barbie dolls. One was Ken and the other Barbie. I'm one hundred percent sure she's in love with Ken herself, but oh well...

With a soft kiss on her cheek, I moved my head next to hers, looking down at her dolls. Of course, right at that moment, she decided to lift up her Ken doll and accidentally hit its foot in my eye. I hissed and covered my eye immediately. "What's wrong?" Harry asked, looking a bit worried.

"She hit me in the eye with her doll. Ah, it hurts." I whined. I felt Laura being removed from my lap and Harry kneeled in front of me.

"Let me take a look," he said. I removed my hand from my eye, but I couldn't quite open it. "Babe, you have to open your eye if you want me to take a look." Wincing a bit, I opened my eye a little bit. Harry's fingers opened it a little bit more and it did hurt, but not more than when I closed my eye. "Hmm, nothing's wrong with your eye babe. Just a little bit irritated, and looks a bit red, but that's normal. No serious injury or anything," he said. I felt his lips on mine softly and heard Louis pretend to puke.

"Ugh, I'm gonna throw up. Too much fluff in this house!" He whined over dramatically.

"Go play with your dolls, Louis. You shouldn't be looking. It's not for little kids," Harry tried to fire back.

"Oh, my _wittle_ boys. Luke and I already went a lot deeper than you two did with your relationship. Phelease. save your mature talking till you really know what older kids do." Lou's sass was on top today... That much is clear.

"Shut up. You only take, don't even give. So what do you know about it?"

"Guys! One, Laura can hear you! And two, even I don't want to hear this!" I interrupted them. Louis started laughing after a short silence and Harry followed, embarrassing me for the second time today.

...

"Niall?"

"Ni?"

"N-"

"What. Harry?" I groaned, too tired to be nice. I felt him sigh in my neck and a soft kiss was placed on the forming bruise he had sucked there. I shuddered and felt shivers going up and down my spine. "Harry, not now. I'm tired," I whined.

Like as if whining helped... He just went on, kissing down my neck and down my shoulder going even to my upper arm. "I can't sleep, Ni." He kept on kissing up and down my arm as his hand slowly made its way to my chest, softly rubbing up and down. His hand went a bit lower, almost touching my member. A moan escaped my lips unwillingly and I felt him smirk against my skin.

"Harry, I'm serious. I'm too tired. No."

"Niall. Babe. It's only 11pm. Please, I need you."

"I'm not even aroused, no thanks. Let me sleep, you horny bastard or I kick you out of bed."

"It's my bed."

"Did that stop me last time to kick you out of here?"

He sighed and chuckled softly, remembering when I literally kicked him out of bed because I was tired and he did the exact same then. "I know you're not ready, babe. It's scary, I get that. I just want to do it before we go to Paris in already two weeks."

"You like me, right?"

"Of course, babe. Why would you even question that?"

"Well, if you really like me, then you let me sleep right now and respect the fact I'm not ready now." He sighed again, deeper this time and I could sense the disappointment in it. "I'm so-"

"Don't apologize, Ni. I get it." He removed his arm that was around my stomach and I could feel him turning around, facing the other side. This time I sighed.

_Was he really disappointed because I wasn't ready yet?_


	48. Forty Eight

It was half past midnight. Harry's snores woke me up just twenty minutes ago and ever since then, I couldn't sleep anymore. Pushing Harry doesn't help either. He just snores louder and louder each time I pushed him.

The longer I couldn't sleep, the more I started to think.

_Was Harry really that disappointed that we didn't...?_

_What did he mean when he said he really wanted to do it before we go on our trip to Paris?_

_Can he wait till I'm ready?_

_Is he even going to wait till I'm ready?_

The last question made me shiver. Would he really... cheat on me? I mean, would he ever dare to just go fuck someone else just because I'm not ready?

_Oh, Niall. Are you really doubting that? Don't you thrust him? Harry wouldn't do such a thing._

And what if he really needs it?

_These days we still have hands... I mean, I don't know..._

The more I thought, the more I got unsure about our relationship. I mean, yes we are dating, but... we never even told our 'I love you's'. Does he even love me?

I felt like I needed some air, so I quickly got out of bed, making sure Harry didn't wake up, and softly tiptoed to the door. Before I opened the door, I quickly glanced at Harry, his still sleeping –and snoring- figure was looking at ease, breathing deeply in and out. A soft smile tugged at my lips as I looked at him.

When I was outside, the cold air hit me really hard. I was happy I was dressed in Harry's large sweats and a t-shirt of him, so I wasn't too cold. "Maybe a nice walk in the park will make me relax a bit," I said to myself, trying to kill the enormous silence that was surrounding me.

Outside, in the dark night, the little stars kissed the sky. High up there, they were waiting, wanting to be seen by others. Wanting to feel special. I want to feel special.

I only noticed I was already deep in the woods that were pretty close to Harry's house, when I bumped into a three. That was also when I snapped out of everything and started to panic a bit. I've never been alone in here, because... it scars the shit out of me, just to be honest.

_"_ I will not make the same mistakes that you did.  
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery.  
I will not break the way you did.  
You fell so hard.  
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far.  
  
Because of you,  
I will never stray too far from the sidewalk.  
Because of you,  
I learned to play on the safe side,  
So I don't get hurt.  
Because of you,  
I find it hard to trust.  
Not only me, but everyone around me.  
Because of you,  
I am afraid..."

I softly sang while kicking a pine cone.

  
"I lose my way.  
And it's not too long before you point it out.  
I cannot cry,  
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes.  
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh,  
Every day of my life.  
My heart can't possibly break.  
When it wasn't even whole to start with.  
 **  
**Because of you,  
I will never stray too far from the sidewalk.  
Because of you,  
I learned to play on the safe side,  
So I don't get hurt.  
Because of you,  
I find it hard to trust,  
Not only me, but everyone around me.  
Because of you,  
I am afraid.  
  
I watched you die.  
I heard you cry.  
Every night in your sleep.

  
I was so young.  
You should have known better than to lean on me.  
You never thought of anyone else.  
You just saw your pain.  
And now I cry.  
In the middle of the night.  
For the same damn thing.  
  
Because of you,  
I will never stray too far from the sidewalk.  
Because of you,  
I learned to play on the safe side,  
So I don't get hurt.  
Because of you,  
I tried my hardest just to forget everything.  
Because of you,  
I don't know how to let anyone else in.  
Because of you,  
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty.  
Because of you,  
I am afraid...  
  
Because of you..."

I've never realized how much this song can fit in someone's life. It's such a beautiful song and it gives so much away. It gives you a view of how one simple person can just make your life completely different. How just one person can change your life completely.

I heard someone clapping in their hands somewhere in front of me, making me snap my head up. "Pretty piece of, oh what's it called? Oh yeah, shit."

_Oh, no... Not again...._

 


	49. Forty Nine

_I heard someone clapping in their hands somewhere in front of me, making me snap my head up. "Pretty piece of, oh what's it called? Oh yeah, shit."_

My heart started to beat a bit quicker at the sight of _him._ "What do you want now, Danny?"

He shrugged and nestled his hands in his pockets as he looked down at his feet, looking almost innocent. "You know, Niall? We could have been friends. I always thought you were cool. Always thought you looked good. You're so perfect, Niall. You had everything you wanted and you couldn't care less about what others did or say to you. I thought that was pretty impressive, you know?" Wow... He really is surprising me now.

"You bullied me. You made my life one living hell. How could you possibly think all that?"

He shrugged again, not looking up just yet. "I don't know," he simply answered.

"Why?" I just asked. "Why did you have to hurt me so badly? What did I ever do to you that made you believe I deserved to get all of that shit? I just want the answer on that, Danny. Why?"

"Because I thought you deserved it? I needed a victim, and you were just so nice to be the fucking idiot that was close enough to me to start bullying. You were just too easy, Niall. If you wouldn't be that easy to pick on, I would've never bullied you. You can say it's your own fault."

"What you mean? I never chose to be bullied by you. What's even your point, Danny?"

"You took everything away from me. My friends. My fun. My pride. And I won't let you get away with it so easily. Revenge. Oh how much I love this word." He looked back up, red eyes looking crazily at me. A dark, creepy grin on his face. His hair looked messy. He simply looked like a total mess.

I felt my insides turn in a bad way when I looked at his sickening figure. He looked as if he hadn't eaten for days, hadn't showered for ages and has been living in the woods ever since he was born... "Dan- A-Are you okay?" His grin even grew. He really creeps me out right now... When he took a step closer to me, I felt my nerves boil up in my body. What is he planning on doing? "Danny, easy. Take some steps back, will you? I know you don't want to hurt me anymore. There is no point to. You don't want this, Danny. I know you don't." My hands were in front of my chest, a bit in a defensive way.

With one hand I slowly tried to get my phone out of my pocket, and when I did and clicked on the button of calling the first person in my list, I put my phone on silence with my finger. Luckily he didn't notice that. I could feel that Harry was speaking. The speakers made my phone vibrate a little bit which only means that if it's dead on silence here, we both will be able to hear Harry. "You're going to get it back, Niall. Everything. You took away my life, and I will slowly do the same. Slowly, but I will."

" _Danny_ ," I said, making sure to say it loud enough for my phone to catch it. "Stop this. You need help, really. I can help you with that. I can help you finding some place where they can take care of you. It'll all be okay, I promise. It doesn't have to be this way, Danny. It can all change." I could feel my speakers again against the material of my jeans, sensing Harry was speaking again.

"You can't do shit, Niall. I'm 50 shades of fucked up."

"We're only in the woods, pretty close to Harry's house, Danny. I can go and get help." Oh please, Harry get the fucking clue!

"You can't run away from me, Niall. It's impossible. You can tie me up in chains. You can throw away the key, but there is nothing that will keep me from finishing what I already started."

I sighed and took one step closer to him, my hand being able to be placed on his cheek. "Please. You're not thinking straight. You're fucked up in the head, Danny and I'm 100% sure that deep down, there is a person that's so sweet and kind. You just have to discover that person."

_Keep talking Niall. Give Harry the time, please... Keep him busy._

"I-I can't. I have to finish this. Niall, I've made your life miserable, but it's not enough. I want you to feel how I felt all those years."

"What are you talking about?"

He sighed and looked back down at his hands and shoes. "My life was Hell, Niall. Even worse then I made yours. My parents never cared about me. They were disrespectful and thought I was the reason they were fighting. They eventually sold me. They fucking sold me to two random strangers! They never cared. Never loved. No one ever did. I was on my own. Once I was 18, I moved out of that house too and bought myself crappy place. I'm out of money, Niall. I can't buy myself food. I can't buy myself anything anymore. I used everything I had, and I can't live like that."

"Then why am I in this story? Where am I in the picture? Why do you have to keep making my life hell?"

He had a smug smile on his face and looked up through his lashes. "Because if I can't be happy, you can't either."

I glanced behind him and saw the cabin, knowing exactly where we were suddenly. Why didn't I see this earlier?! "Danny, we're in the middle of the woods. We're so close to The Cube, if you would do something to me, Harry would find me. Hell anyone could find me. They can arrest you for everything then. You'll be in more trouble, but with my help, you won't be in trouble. We'll take you to a place where you can be at ease and find your spot in our society."

"It's not that easy, Niall. We both know it's not. They'll just treat me like everyone else. Like crap. You wouldn't threat me like crap, would you, Niall? You would love me for who I am, won't you?"

I swallowed for a second, not really sure what to answer. "I-I uh... Of course I would. You don't want me to be hurt. I know that, Danny."

He looked back up at me, another look in his eyes, one that scared me more than the creepy one... His hand got closer to me and was placed on my upper arm. He rubbed up and down, making me feel really uneasy and nervous. What is he planning on doing, really? This scares me so much, but I have to stay strong. I know Harry will be here soon. Very soon. "You love me, right? You wouldn't hurt me, right Niall?"

I gulped as he inched closer once again and took a step back, only to be closed between him and a three. "C-Course. You're no bad guy. I know that, you know that."

"We can be happy, Niall." _Wait... wasn't he like.... 101% straight?_

"What do you mean?"

Before he could answer, we were surrounded by police agents, all armed. "Danny Daniels, you're arrested for stalking, emotional and psychical abuse and attempts to kidnap. Hold your hands up where I can see them and take some steps away from him." Was basically yelled at him. He just smirked, not moving just yet.

"You called the police? Very smart of you, baby. I always knew you were a smart boy," he said. He inched even closer, holding my chin in his hand before slamming his lips against mine firmly. After not even a second, he was pulled back from me and turned around. He put his hands up in defeat and let himself be dragged to the other police agents.

"You alright?" I heard that soft voice again. I looked up and was met by Harry's worried, green eyes. _He's so beautiful._

I nodded and smiled, cuddling into Harry's chest quickly before feeling tears filling my eyes, blurrying the view a bit, but I wouldn't let them fall. I won't show a sign of weakness. Not now. "I was so scared, Harry," I said in his chest, my hands fisting his t-shirt tightly. I felt his arms wrap around my body and his chin placed on my head after kissing on the same spot.

He hummed and swayed the two of us, trying to sooth me. "I know, baby. You're okay. I promise, baby. You'll be fine, I'll make sure you are." We stood there for a good few minutes, just in silence watching how Danny was dragged to the end of the woods where it was met by the road.

Right before Danny was driving off to wherever they were going to bring him, he looked at me and smirked. He looked almost pleased and not scared at all. Was he proud that he was risking his life in jail?

One of the police agents walked up to us and placed his hand on my shoulder. "I'm really sorry for what just happened. We don't know what happened and what the context is, but I'm really happy that your friend here called us. We wouldn't want to know what would have happened if we weren't here. Anyway, I apologize for everything that happened and if you ever want to talk about this all, you can call this number," he said, giving me a piece of paper with a number on. "It's not my personal number of course, but it's the number of the best therapist here, so please, if you ever feel the need to talk about it, call this number and talk to her." I nodded and weakly smiled. "Well, hope you have a nice night for the rest of it and take care," he said before walking away.

...

"Aren't you talking to me anymore?" I asked as we were walking back to his house.

"Harry?"

Again, no answer...

"Did I do something wrong?"

It was silence for another second before he sighed and looked at me, his nostrils a bit wider and his eyes having this angry look in them. "Leave it, Niall." _Niall... ouch!...._

I stopped walking, well we were almost at his house anyway, and he stopped too after he noticed I wasn't walking anymore. "Are you seriously mad at me? Harry I did nothing wrong!"

"Stop talking, you used your lips already enough."

_Oh no he didn't..._

I laughed a single 'ha' that was fake as hell and looked back at him. "Are you seriously talking about the kiss Danny gave me?"

"You seemed to enjoy it a lot," he shrugged.

"I didn't enjoy it!"

"Then why did you kiss back, huh?"

"I didn't! Harry this is insane! Ridicules! I never kissed him in the first place! He kissed me!"

"Whatever you say, Niall." He walked up to the door rather quickly and opened it, before walking upstairs, leaving the door wide open and his shoes even on.

This is just ridicules! He's mad because Danny kissed me?

I walked into the bedroom and saw Harry already in his boxer briefs on the bed, under the comforters, but his right leg and arms were out of it, making me know he was only in his boxer briefs. "Harry?" I asked carefully.

There was no response, of course... With a fast beating heart, I walked fully into the room and closed the door behind me, walking up to the bed before climbing in. His body tensed only the slightest bit when he felt me wrapping an arm around his waist, spooning him this time.

"Harry, please talk to me."

_"Good night, Niall."_


	50. Fifty

 

"Ni, it'll be fine. He's just an ass to act like that. Besides, you were the one being in a dangerous position, not him. He should be glad you're still here and not kidnapped or killed by him," Louis said as he squeezed my knee, Zayn nodding in agreement. "But what I don't get, why did you never tell me you were bullied by him? I would have cut his dick and shove it down his throat, making him choke on his own blo-"

"Lou, that's enough. You're giving the kid nightmares," Zayn luckily interrupted Louis' rant of how he would kill Danny for hurting me and such.

Louis looked down and apologized softly, earning a quite "it's okay," from me.

"Look, Nialler. What I suggest is, explain to Harry what really happened in detail and try to make him realize you didn't kiss Danny, but the slut kissed you. I might not really like him, but I know how his brain works. He understands things when he wants to and when he sees he's wrong..."

_Yup, I'm screwed._

"Zee. I don't think Harry's the _understanding guy_. Mostly not in their relationship.." Louis said, shifting so he could lay his head in my lap, giving me no other choice then to play with his hair a bit.

"You might be right, but still. You two have to talk, Niall. Even if Harry doesn't respond, just go on and tell your side of the story. He'll probably understand."

I just nodded and sighed. This is going to be a long day....

...

"Harry, please, pick up your phone. I'm worrying. Where are you?" I pressed the end button and sighed. Again a voicemail he wouldn't open.

Harry has left early in the morning and it was already 10pm. He hasn't showed up after he left and I'm really starting to worry. It wouldn't be the first time he ends up in trouble. I slightly thought back to when he ended up in the hospital and had a mixture of alcohol and drugs in his body. It was a horrible memory to be honest, but I couldn't stop myself from thinking something like that would happen just once again.

Just when I was in the middle of my trail of thoughts, the door opened and closed slightly. Luke was at Louis' and Zayn went away a few hours ago. Mom and George aren't even home because it's "their" weekend and they too Laura with them because she's too young to stay with us for more than a day.

I quickly got up and rushed to the hall where Harry was standing, trying to get rid of his shoes. I basically attacked him, hugging him so tightly that we both fell down on the ground, me sort of in his lap. "Hey, babe. You alright?" he asked. _Babe!_

"I was so worried, Haz. Never leave for this long. Never not pick up your phone. Never leave me, Harry." I felt his arms going around my body and holding me closer to him. His lips were pressed to my hair rather quickly and his hands rubbed my upper arm a bit.

"Shhh. It's okay, baby. I'm sorry for not responding or answering calls." He reached a bit behind me to the table in the hall and grabbed something from it. As he held it up, I could see it was his phone. Oh fuck, I'm so stupid. "I forgot my phone here and I just didn't think I had to warn you. Also, I was at Li's so I couldn't answer them anyway." I nodded against his chest and curled up into a ball in his lap.

"I-I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Ni. I should have told you where I was going, sorry. It's a bit my fault. I guess, I-"

"Let's talk about this on the couch, babe." He nodded and kissed my lips softly. Just when I wanted to deepen the kiss, he pulled back. After I got up and helped him standing up, too, we both walked to the couch and I leaned against his side, my legs pulled up on the couch. "Talk."

Harry nodded and placed a chant kiss on my cheek before moving a bit away from me, so he could look at me. "Before I say anything, please let me tell the whole story. Okay?" _And I'm officially scared... Should I be worried?_

"Okay."

"Good, now, last night I was a bit off. Look, Ni. I respect the fact that you're not ready and such, but... Sometimes I just wish you were. I'm selfish by saying that, I know. I'm stealing your virginity and that's not something you give away every day. So, I should respect it when you say you're not ready and I really do. Ni, I really respect you for that, but it's just hard you know? Anyway, what I wanted to say was, I ran this morning to get the anger and such off of my chest, and when I was running back, I hit Liam on the street and I thought it would be a good idea to talk to him again. We sort of got wrapped up in a conversation and in the end he remembered me how late it already was... I swear, I ran back home right after he said that. I just think, Ni, you're my everything, I don't want to lose you because I'm such a selfish prick. So if you want to wait, I will." _Wow...._

We stayed in silence for a second, both not really daring to say a thing. Harry was waiting till I would say something, and I was figuring out what I had to say. My words just escaped me. My mind was blank and my tongue stayed silence. As if my body had a mind of himself, it made me straddle Harry's lap and in a few seconds I had cupped his face and was kissing him passionately. Harry let his tongue prod against my bottom lip, and because of my experienced kissing-skills, I opened my mouth slightly. His tongue slipped into my mouth, exploring around the whole place like the first time, when I still thought this was the grossest thing on earth...

The kiss took a while, till I finally found the courage to pull back. Both Harry and I were panting and quick pecks were shared. My hands were still on his cheeks and I smiled softly as I was breathing really deeply.

Only after a few more seconds of silence, I found myself opening my mouth, letting four words slip.

_"Make love to me."_

**WARNING!!!: Next chap will involve mature parts. Please I already warned you, I can't do more than that. Read if you want to and know you won't have a trauma and otherwise just don't read okay?**

**Comment as much as you want, I'll always read them, so don't be ashamed to leave a comment of your thoughts.**


	51. Fifty One

**WARNING: Once again, Don't read if you're not comfortable with reading this! I don't want you to have a trauma of my story, so please, don't read if not ready.**

**Bare with me, this is like the first time I ever write smut, so really, don't hate on me when I finish this :D**

**ENJOY ;)**

"W-What? N-No. Ni. You're not ready, no. I'm not doing that now. It'll feel like make-up-séx..."

"It won't. Please Harry. There's only one thing I want to give to you, and that's my virginity. Baby, take it. I want you to be my first. I want you, now." I could see Harry swallowing thickly, making me smirk just the slightest bit.

He placed a chant kiss on my lips and smiled. "You're really sure?" I nodded firmly and smiled, looking deep in his eyes to make sure he knows I'm ready for this. I am for him. And only him. "Okay, let's go upstairs." I followed him like the good puppy I am and walked back into the guest room. What? The bed is bigger there...

We stood in the room, close to the bed for quite a long time, just kissing. After a few more seconds, he started to walk me back, until my legs hit the bed, making me fall backwards and onto the bed with him on top of me. My legs were still off the bed and Harry hovered over me slightly. His smile was dizzy-making. So beautiful. So real. "What are you going to do to me, Harry?" I asked seductively, wanting this to already start.

Harry and I made our way to lie completely on the bed, him still hovering over me but between my legs now. "Hmm, going to do so much to you, Ni." His lips went to my neck as he kissed and sucked on the skin, making a bruise there. I softly moaned as he licked the forming bruise before pulling back. "You're mine, Niall. And now everyone can see it." Ugh, his voice is so deep and sexy. I think I could just come from that...

"Hmm, Harry, hurry the fùck up. Gosh!" I half moaned-half whined. "I need you, Harry. Oh my..." He smirked at me and straddled me pretty quickly, grinding down on my growing member. It felt like heaven, once again. His hands on my chest, mine on his hips. This was pretty much my favourite position with Harry. Oh and when he spoons me, that's just cute. Even though I'm the bigger spoon normally...

A moan escaped his own lips when he let his hands trail up to the hem of my shirt, signing me that he wanted to pull my shirt off. I sat up a bit and helped him removing my shirt and his along with mine ended on the floor next to the bed. "Oh, Niall, you're so beautiful. So pretty. Hmm. Perfect, baby. All perfect for me."

I couldn't even speak, knowing my voice would betray me if I would anyway, so I nodded, just lying on the bed as if we already ended.

With his soft lips, he started to trail kisses down my neck and chest, up to my bellybutton. As he reached that, he stopped and looked up through his lashes, only to dip in his tongue. The warm, wet feeling in my bellybutton made me giggle and arch my back a bit. It tickled and I wanted it to stop yet never stop at the same time. His hands were quickly placed on my hips, making it impossible for me to even move them up from the bed. "Don't. Move." He demanded. "I'm the one who has all the control tonight. Got it?" I quickly nodded, not even daring to go in against his words. "Words, Niall. I need to hear you. Tell me everything. I need you to tell me what you want and feel, Niall," I nodded again, and by the looks in his eyes he was really serious.

"Yes," I whispered, my voice even high in a whisper.

"Louder, Niall."

"Yes, Sir."

He rolled his eyes and placed a chant kiss on my chest. "Let's have the fun already." His lips placed soft kissed on mine for a few seconds before he stopped and sat up on my legs this time, unbuttoning my jeans rather quickly and throwing it somewhere in the room along with my boxer briefs, leaving me completely naked. His jeans followed quickly afterwards and he was back hovering over me in a few seconds.

I did feel a bit insecure about my body, and mostly about my 'small one', because Harry's 'small one' was not so small at all. "Please, Harry. Hurry the fùck up." He just nodded and kissed my lips once again.

"I will, don't worry. Gonna need to prep you first, though. You're okay with that?" I eagerly nodded my head, my member hurting a little bit too much at the moment.  He got off of me and got his jeans back. Out of his pocket he grabbed his wallet and then two little packages out of it. Once he was back on the bed, on top of me, he smiled and kissed me once more before grabbing my legs and spreading them a bit for him to be between them. He made me pull my knees back and kissed each of them. My eyes followed every action, every movement he made. Slowly, he wrapped one of the packages open and some sort of liquid got out of it on his three fingers. "This might feel weird, baby. I'll go slow."

I nodded and watched him as he let his hand go lower to my entrance.  He circled his finger around it a bit and I shivered from how cold and slick his finger was. The top of his index finger slipped inside my hole and I pulled back a little bit, definitely not liking this feeling.

"Shhhh, baby. It's okay. I told you, it'll feel weird and might hurt a little bit, but you'll get so much pleasure from it if you just relax." I tried to think of so many other things and nodded. "Okay, I'm going to open you up, yeah? Just say stop if it really hurts too much, yeah? But try and think of other things. Of how great you'll feel once you're relaxed enough. How much pleasure you'll get from this."

I lowered my head back on the pillow and took a deep breath as I felt Harry slip his finger a bit deeper in me. It felt so weird, oh my... He softly kissed my belly to sooth me and I smiled to myself. He pulled out again and I sighed a bit, but my breath hitched back in my throat as he pushed his finger back inside of me with more force. He soon added a second finger and that hurt a bit, but I tried to relax and it soon turned into a better feeling. Soon after he added even a third –and hopefully last- finger and started to pump them in and out of me.

The pain I felt soon turned into pleasure. Pure pleasure. Not much longer, I was a moaning mess and even pushing back onto his fingers, wanting, needing him. "Ni, you're so sexy. So so sexy. Hmm. I think you're prepped enough, yeah?" I stayed silence, not really knowing if I was or not. I mean, I'm the virgin here, right? "Answer me, Niall."

"I don't kn- Oh keep going." He smirked and pulled his fingers out, making me whine from the empty feeling. "No!" I whined, wanting him back in me.

I arched my back a few times and squirmed on the bed, but he held my hips back down and growled. "Stay. Still. Got it?" I nodded and then realized, he hates when I don't say anything. So I quickly responded with a short 'yes'. "Good. Now ready for me, baby? Want me to make you feel better than before, princess?"

"Oh, God. Yes. Please, Harry. Need you." I almost begged, not even being embarrassed the slightest bit. I needed him and I wouldn't dare to deny it now.

He shifted in his place a bit and lined up with my entrance. His tip slowly sank into me and I almost screamed it out, out of pleasure and pain. He slowly pushed in centimeter by centimeter, stretching me out as much as I could take. Fuck he was big! Once he bottomed out, he moaned loudly, making me almost come undone just from hearing that beautiful sound. It made me even harder. Fùck. He gave me some time to adjust to his size and by the look he had in his eyes, he was using all his power to not just pound into me. "Y-You can m-move," I breathed out.

I didn't need to tell him twice because he was quickly pulling out of me almost completely, only his tip being inside of me before he slammed back harsh and strong. We both moaned out loudly, not giving two shits about the neighbors at all. "Oh fùck Niall! Oooh, you're so tight. F-Fuck. Hmm."

We both moaned out some more before he attacked my neck and lips again, kissing almost my whole body up and down. "Oh, babe. Please, faster." He did as I asked and pounded more into me. Suddenly he hit something deep inside me. It made me jolt up with pleasure and God! That was the best feeling ever. "Fùck! Again, please Harry!" He hit that same spot again and again. I went all crazy I guess, but the feeling he gave me was just the best ever. I couldn't stop myself from moaning and wanting more.

I could feel this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. My insides turned, but in a good way, signing me I was actually really close to coming. "Oh, Ni, gonna come," he groaned and moaned all at once.

"Me too," I whimpered out.

"Let go, baby. Come for me." I nodded and let go. I came so hard, it was almost unbelievable. My stomach, chest and even his lower abdomen were covered in my liquid. It was embarrassing, but good at the same time. "Ugh! I love you Ni," he said before coming right after me with a grunt, filling the condom he had put on before he got into me. For a second, he rode our orgasms out before pulling out and falling next to me.

He smiled lazily and kissed my cheek that was probably all sweaty from the most exiting adventure I've ever experienced.

We lay in silence next to each other for a few minutes before he pulled me into his arms and prepped my face with kisses. "You did so well, baby. So so well. You're so perfect. Oh, baby."

"Harry?" I asked, looking up at him a bit, seeing that my head was on his chest a bit and my body in his arms. He hummed and I knew he meant to say 'yes'. "What you just said... is it true? Do you like, really love me?" I bit my lip, scared of what would come now.

He pulled away a bit and made me look deep in his green eyes. "Niall, I know it wasn't the way I should have told you, but gosh. You have no idea how much I love you. You mean so much to me. You're my everything, Niall. I want you in my life and I know I have you, I just want to let you know that, that I will always love you." I smiled and saw my view getting blurry.

"I-I love you too, Harry. More than anything." He smiled brightly and kissed me passionately. I could literally feel the love though this kiss.

_It was just magic..._


	52. Fifty Two

 

I fell back on the couch in Harry's lap as Luke, Louis and Zayn were all three in the opposite one. Luke had placed his head on Louis' chest this time and looked at both me and Harry. As for Zayn, he was just casually on his phone, texting whoever the fuck it was...

"So.... How are you guys?" Lou asked directly towards us.

I looked at him a bit confused and then at Harry, not knowing what to answer really. "We're pretty good. Back to speaking terms."

"And we're also not fighting anymore. So that's a plus, I guess," I added.

"That's great guys. We're happy for you two, right Lou?"

"Totally," Louis agreed. He shifted a bit and I saw him softly wincing. "Ugh fuck, I'm still sore..." he whined making me giggle a bit. The thing is, I had the exact same feeling right at that moment. So I shouldn't giggle, laugh or even chuckle at all... "Shush, don't you laugh about it. Wait till you know how it feels, yo- Niall!" Both Zayn and Harry jumped up from Louis' sudden yelling.

"What?" Zayn asked, his hand on his chest as he was breathing quickly in and out.

"You sneaky little-! How dare you not to tell me!" By the looks of everyone's faces except Louis' and mine, you could say they were all confused.

"What the fuck, Lou? No one understands you at this point." Zayn was a bit grumpy and I guess that's because he doesn't really like to be jumpy.

"Niall does, babe, believe me," Lou said, crossing his arms over his chest as he did. "I can't believe it, Ni! You fucking did it with him and you didn't even consider telling me?! I'm your best friend!"

Harry's eyes widened a bit and I must say, it took me everything I had in me to not burst out in laughter. Louis really knows me too well... My cheeks did heat up when Zayn and Luke both looked at me with wide eyes, too. "We didn't," was my first reaction.

"Phsss. As if you believe that yourself! I know you did! Just admit, baby. We all know it."

I rolled my eyes and hid my face in the crook of Harry's neck. Harry's lips were placed on my hair again and I smiled a bit. "I love you, baby," he whispered so softly, I guess only I was able to hear it.

"To the moon and back."

"And back," he said out loud, pulling a bit back and winking at me cheekily.

"Awe, look at you two. That's just so cute! Now, spill!" I rolled my eyes and just smiled.

"Yes we did." Louis almost jumped up with his fists in the air.

"I KNEW IT!"

"Sit down with your excited bum, Lou," Luke demanded a bit. He pulled Louis a bit back and made him sit in his lap, his head resting on Lou's shoulder.

"Tell me, how was it? Where was it? When wa-"

"I'm going to throw up if I stay any longer. Bye Loudy. See yah, Nialler," Zayn ruffled through my hair and smiled before walking to the hall and opening the door. When the door slammed shut, I knew he was out. Well yeah... he should feel uncomfortable when it's about gay sex, right? I guess that's normal for a straight guy...

"Now the straighty is out, you can tell me everything!"

"Lou, that's just gross. He's my brother."

"And I'm your boyfriend and Harry there is your brother's boyfriend, now we cleared that out, Niall tell me!"

Again, I rolled my eyes and chuckled at his weirdness. "Just yesterday night, around 11pm. Maybe a bit later though. Just in the guestroom and, gosh Niall's perfect." It was my time to be with wide open eyes. Did he seriously just throw that to those two?

"Harry!" I bumped my elbow in his side, playfully.

"Remind me to never sleep in the guestroom ever again." Lou spoke up. I chuckled and shook my head a bit.

...

"Boo!" Laura giggled like crazy and took Harry's face in her hands. They were both playing the whole time. I must say, Harry's great with kids. No one is as good with Laura as he is. I mean, I'm quite good with her, too, but she can be a little hard to handle, mostly when she wants to see that Barbie movie all over again. Harry just doesn't seem to mind watching it with her and playing with her dolls.

"Boo!" she mimicked Harry a bit, but she was just a lot cuter when she said 'boo'.

"Yeah, bub. Boo! Now, what do you wanna do, princess?" I felt my cheeks burning. _Princess!_ That's what he called me last night...

"Barbie!" she giggled.

"Again? Barbie all over again?" she nodded and he shook his head smiling. "What would you say if we would go and get some ice cream?"

"ICE CWEAM!" she yelled. I chuckled softly, but made sure they wouldn't hear me, even though Harry knew I was watching them.

"Shhhh! Don't let Niall know. It's our secret, yeah?"

She nodded and got off of the chair –that was way too high for her to get on or off- so Harry helped her and grabbed his keys. He quickly glanced at me and winked before kissing Laura's cheek. "Bye Ni!" she yelled from over Harry's shoulder.  I waved at her and heard Harry whisper in her ear as he chuckled a soft 'shhhh! Don't let him know we're out'. I could hear her giggle from even behind the door and smiled to myself.

Harry is wonderful with kids. I see the joy he has when he's around them. So happy to be with kids. He would be such an amazing father...

Would he want one when he's older? I mean, he's only 21? Maybe 22? Is it wrong that I don't know how old my boyfriend is? Hmm...

But still. It's too young to become a father already. I mean, who wants to throw their lives over and get a baby at 20-22? No one right? You'll miss your life of being wild and free.

Besides, I can't get pregnant, so he couldn't have a baby at his age anyway. But... what if he really wants one of his own? Would he ever dump me because I can't get kids? Would he do that? No, right? He wouldn't do such a thing. He ' _loves'_ me.

What if he prefers kids above me?

_You can get an adoption, Niall. Calm the fuck down._

I sighed and let myself fall on the couch, thinking of so fucking many things. Mostly about what Harry would be preferring more. Me. Or kids...

...

Time passed by and the door opened suddenly, giggles filling the house again and I just knew it was Laura. Then I heard more giggles, those aren't from her neither someone I know...

"Honey, I'm home!" I heard Laura yell, probably learned from Harry. It wasn't even pronounced correctly. It sounded more like: "Hommy I'm home." I chuckled and pulled Laura on the couch and in my lap as she was standing in front of me, asking me to pick her up. "Pwesent! Pwesent!" she said, tilting her head to the side.

"It's 'present', Laura. Pre-sent." I heard Harry say as he walked into the living room with another boy on his hips. When I saw the boy's curls, I knew it was Milan, Gemma's son.

"Pwesent, yes." I chuckled again as Laura said it like it was the most correct thing she has ever spoken.

"Sure, Lau. If you wanna say it like that, go ahead," she smiled and nodded at me.

Harry sat little Milan down on the couch next to me and Laura climbed off of me to sit next to Milan. As she was finally off of me, Harry leant down and kissed my lips softly. "Hey, beautiful."

"Harry, why is Milan here? Oh, and why did Laura tried to say 'present'?" I asked. He just sat down next to me and pulled me in his side. Is he up to something?

"Laura saw him playing in the park. It was then that I bumped into my sister and she asked to babysit her little annoying shit once again. Laura seemed to like him, so well yeah, I thought, better to have her a friend than that she's trying to brainwash one of us with her Barbie movies and dolls," he shrugged. I nodded and waited till he went on. "Oh, and well normally we would get you an ice cream, too. Well that was the plan. Turned out that it melted so Laura basically tried to say to give you something else," I nodded again, still waiting. "So I thought, in those cliché, sick, romantic love stories, the man -in our relationship it being me- gives the girl – AKA you- always something from himself. I really wanted to buy you something, baby, but I thought it would be more romantic to give you my necklace." He sat up a bit more and removed his paper plane necklace before smiling at me.

"Harry, I can't take that from you. Please, put it back o-"

"No, babe. I really want you to wear it."

"But that means so much to you. You got that from your mother, didn't you?"

He nodded and smiled, looking down at the silver necklace. "I did. But you mean more to me than the necklace. You're more important to me than anyone else and I want to show that off. I want you to wear it." I smiled and kissed his lips softly, but passionately. "Turn around, baby," he demand softly. I did and smiled as I felt his necklace being placed around my neck. He closed the ends to each other and kissed my shoulder. I turned back around and looked deep in his beautiful green eyes. "I love you."

"To the moon and back."

"And back," he repeated softly over a breath. "You look perfect, Ni, baby. If it wasn't for the kids, I would have taken you right here, right now. Unfortunately, that would be inappropriate, so let's not do it." I chuckled and shook my head lightly, cupping his lips with mine just once more before pulling back and standing up.

"Okay, now who's hungry?"

"Me!" Laura and Milan yelled at the same time, blushing like mad as they looked at each other and then to the ground. They're so adorable, oh my...

I smiled and nodded at the two. When I turned to Harry, he was already looking at me. "What about you, my bigger child?"

He smirked devilish and sat his elbow down on the arm of the couch. "Oh, big I definitely am." Ugh, I knew this was coming.

"I knew that was coming."

"You were coming last night pretty-"

"Harry!" I stopped him in the middle of his sentence. "The kids!"

He rolled his eyes and chuckled. "They are totally clueless. Okay well, maybe Milan isn't as clueless as I hoped he was in the beginning, but still. They're kids. They aren't even listening. Right, Mil?"

"He, what? Were you talking to me, Hazzaboo?"

Harry groaned and I laughed. "Don't tell me your mom told you the nickname my mother gave me." he asked.

"Mommy really loves talking about you, Hazzaboo."

He groaned even more and just got up. "I'm making dinner tonight. Watch out, little monster," he said, glaring at Milan who just shrugged and smiled innocently back at him. Really, Harry may not see it, but the two of them really are just the exact copy. The only different is their age. I mean, for a young kid, he's pretty clever and knows what to say or do to piss Harry off, which is definitely too awesome to be legal.

"Hey, babe. Don't eat, my uncle is going to make it. Don't want you to die already," little Milan said, throwing his arm protectively over Laura's shoulders. She giggled and blushed once again. Yeah, later on, they're going to be a couple, I swear.

I walked into the kitchen after Harry and kissed his cheek as he sat down at the kitchen table. "Don't worry, baby. He's just messing with you," I spoke softly. "You know what?" with my two fingers I 'walked' up his back. "What if I told you that if you be a good boy this evening, I'll reward you at night?" He looked up, lust boiling up in his eyes.

"Hmm, what you gonna do then?"

"The impossible. But for now, we make lasagna and make sure Laura and Milan are both well fed. You can wait till Luke's home, right?" He nodded and licked his lips. "Great. Now let's start on the lasagna, will we?"

...

During our cooking session, I purposely swayed my hips more than usual and bumped my bum in his crotch sometimes, just to tease him a bit. Each time he would groan or moan out and every time I did it again, I felt him being harder and harder.

"Dinner is ready!" I yelled, making both Milan and Laura cheer in happiness. I watched as Milan, being the taller one of them, helped Laura off of the couch and held her hand in his to walk them to the table. I picked Laura up first and sat her down in her little chair before going to Milan and picking him up too. Once he was placed on the chair next to Laura, Harry and I sat down too and started to eat.

When we were all finished, Harry got a text from Gemma, asking him if Milan could stay at his –which already turned to be mine- and Harry quickly asked me. "If Luke's okay to babysit two kids, it's fine by me."

...

Lucky for us, Luke didn't mind at all. Milan was a funny kid and he seemed to be a great player of those stupid games that Luke liked to play, so he was totally fine with having the kid sleep over.

It also didn't take long for us to get to Harry's and into his house. He locked his lips with mine once the door was closed behind us and pushed me up against it. "C-Can we go upstairs, baby?" I asked as he attacked my neck with his lips, sucking, pulling and scratching the skin of my neck. He nodded and walked us up the stairs.

His lips stayed buried in my neck as he closed the door behind us and up to his bed, me falling backwards on it, Harry on top. I quickly turned us over so I was straddling him, my hands on either side of his head. "What are you going to do to me?" he repeated his question from before.

_"The impossible..."_

 


	53. Fifty Three

  
Harry pulled out of me and fell on the -in covers covered- bedside, next to me. We were both breathless for a few seconds, not able to even say a word. When Harry pulled me into his arms, his sweaty body clicking into mine like puzzle pieces, I felt safe. I felt safe for once in my life. I never really felt safe before. I had this 24/7 unsafe feeling inside of me, but it was all gone now. "That was..." he started, his lips close to my cheek.

"Perfect," I said, finishing off his sentence.

He smiled and nodded, kissing my cheek swiftly before pulling away again and standing up. "We should get cleaned up," he said.

I tugged at his arm as my hand was grabbing his wrist tightly. "No don't go," I whined, not wanting to let him go and be alone again.

A chuckle left his mouth as he shook his head and kissed my hand. "Shower with me then, baby." I blushed a bit at the thought, but nodded eventually, standing up quickly, but wincing after. Another chuckle escaped his mouth as he held my back. "You're sore, wait. I'll let a bath run then, yes? We can go in bath together?" Before I could even answer, he was already running into the bathroom, running a nice and warm bath.

When he came back, he picked me up bridal style and carried me to the bath tub. After I was in it, he got in the warm and nice water too, right behind me. My back was pressed to his chest and my head on top of his shoulder. I hummed softly as he started to rub little circles into my skin.

His lips kissed and sucked softly at the skin of my neck, slowly creating a love-bite. A soft and low moan escaped my lips as he sank his teeth into my skin. When he pulled away from my neck, a popping sound was heard through the whole bathroom, creating a sort of echo. "I love you, Ni," he whispered.

As his hands went up and down my chest, I smiled. "I love you too," I whispered back, not wanting to ruin this moments with my voice.

"Too the moon and back."

"And back," I breathed out before closing my eyes and relaxing completely in my lovers arms.

...

"I'm so stressed!" mom almost yelled as Luke, Laura and I were watching here scrolling through some wedding dressed.

George had proposed to my mom just last night and she told us about it this afternoon. Of course my mom said yes to his proposal and I must say, it's cute. She's really stressed out, because George has already a lot planned and the wedding is in less than 4 months. One day, I'll be the exact same as my mom, stressing 4 months too early about a wedding that will be perfect anyway... I just hope mine will be with the one I love the most...

"Maura, please. Calm down a bit. It's only in 4 months. You have plenty of time! Niall and I will help you, yeah?" Even Luke's attempts to calm her down, didn't really help. She just couldn't stop about it.

She started to play with her ring and sighed then. "Should I even do this?"

"MOM! Of course you should! I mean, I know you're happy with Luke's father. And as long as you're happy, I'm happy," I said, smiling softly.

George came into the kitchen and placed his hands on her shoulders to sooth her a bit. "Besides, we're both too old to wait any longer." He chuckled at his own joke and kissed my mom's cheek tenderly. "And of course I love you. From when I was young, it was still rule number one. You marry to show how much you love each other," he explained a bit.

My mom smiled at him and I could see the love in their eyes. It's weird to see my mom all... Young and in love, but I love the sight. Right when I was about to say something, the bell went and Luke and I both looked at our parents, hoping they would go. When we both noticed they wouldn't, we stood up at the same time and walking to the hall to open the door. "WHEN IS THE MARRIAGE?! MAURA, I HOPE YOU HAVE AT LEAST INVITED ME TO THE PARTY!" Louis yelled as he walked through the door.

I could hear both mom and George laugh as Lou walked in. "Of course, Louis! How could I forget you. You're part of the family."

"Technically not yet," he said, giving Luke the knowing look. Luke just rolled his eyes and whispered into Louis' ear.

"If you wanna marry me, you should first seem to tame me." Sometimes I really don't want to hear someone's conversation.

"Hey, Luke? Whispering is invented so others can't hear you, son. Maybe you should learn how to, huh?" George suddenly said, literally saying my thoughts. We all laughed as Luke just turned red a bit and mumbled a 'sorry'.

...

"Is she? That's great, Niall!" I groaned at the excitement of Harry. I was dead on tired, and he was just all awake and happy. "I mean, it's just really cute! I wish I knew about my parents at the moment. Not that they're getting married again or something, but I mean... you like... live with your parents and I don't an-"

"Harry, you're rambling!" I interrupted him, my hand softly slapping his chest as I did.

We were lying on his bed again, my head on his chest and my left hand too as his left arm was wrapped around my shoulder a bit. "Sorry," he apologized. "But just think about it, Ni. The music starts to play softly in the background. The groom, all sweaty and full of adrenaline, just to see his bride. Then, the moment of truth. She walks into view of everyone, a bouquet in her hand and her arm hooked into her father's. The groom's eyes almost pop out as a bright smile tugs at his lips. He's so nervous, but wouldn't let it show, just because he knows after a few minutes, they'll finally be each others..." Harry was already dreamily looking in front of him, just staring at nothing as he dreamed about the perfect wedding.

"I didn't know you were such a romantic person?"

He leaned down and smiled softly as he looked into my eyes. "Oh, I could show you how romantic I can be. But for now, I'm not really in the mood. At least I'm in the mood for the Friday after this one. Remember to pack your stuff next week, yeah?" I gave him a strange look and he rolled his eyes. "You forgot. Of course... Paris? Remember?"

"Fuck! Is that already next week?!" he smiled and nodded. I totally forgot we were going to have a single trip to Paris. It's the most romantic place ever -well that's what I heard- and I already can't wait to go there and spend my time with Harry. I groaned a little bit and started to think about the trip to Paris.

I was actually pretty at ease, till Harry asked me that question...

"Hey, Ni?"

I hummed in response as he played with my hair.

_"What do you think of children?"_


	54. Fifty Four

 

"NENA!" I yell-whined. I've never been so bored in my entire life and the only one that could at least lighten up my mood, was " _too busy right now, Niall!"_ So yeah... I was bored as fuck and no one made it any better.

"What now, Niall?" she sighed as she glanced at me before turning back to the person she was talking to.

I walked up to her and held her arm in my hands like a little kid. "I'm bored! Do something!"

She chuckled and sighed softly. "Gosh, you're so annoying Nialler. But if you're really that bored, then why don't you start cleaning up the hall, huh?"

"I've already done that!"

"The gym?"

"Check!"

"You're head?"

"Too messy there to clean up, darling. C'mon! I don't know what to do and you can just take a few minutes to drink some coffee with me..."

Nena shook her head and frowned when the phone rang. Poor girl... "Niall, I really love you, darling, but please. I know Harry is sick and that you can't be doing stuff with him right now, and yes you've already cleaned up everything, even braded my hair for some odd reason, but darling, I really need to work. It's really crowded and I'm really-"

"Busy..." we said at the same time. "I know, Nena, but it's just, Zayn is away on a trip with his old friends. Louis is away with Luke and they didn't bother to take me with them. I'm all alone! I can't go to friends and I can't do shit at work. I mean, what's life?"

She chuckled again and shook her head, just like before. "Go home, you silly boy. You're annoying me! Like seriously!" she was joking a bit, but I guess she was at least telling the truth about me needing to go home. I should be watching out over Harry anyway, but I thought, why not going to work while he's sleeping? I mean, I was more bored there than here, well before I had no work to do anymore...

I huffed and finally gave in. "Fine! Phuh! But don't come to me when you're bored and need a good talk, because I'll be just sitting with a cocktail in my hand and sunglasses on my nose as I'm watching you beg me for attention!" I playfully sassed.

She rolled her eyes and smirked. "Oh you wouldn't even dare," she said.

"Try me."

"Challenge accepted."

"Great!"

It was quiet for a few seconds before she broke down in laughter. "On what did we just agree? Because babe, I'm totally lost!" she said laughing loudly.

I started to laugh too and soon we were both in an unbreakable laughter session. "I-I don't know!" I pushed out of my lungs as my laughter slowed down a bit.

"Who does anyway? Ugh, now go you twat! I really have work to do and you don't so go away and make someone else jealous with the fact you don't have to work anymore and I do!" she was still laughing a bit, but once the phone rang again, she stopped and tried to be serious again. "Hello, this is-"

'I'm going home, love you!' I mouthed at her as she signaled me to not talk. She nodded and smiled, mouthing a 'I love you, too! Bye!' to me. No we aren't in love as in _really_ in love, we're just friends. I mean, Luke and I say we love each other and we're both gay, so that would be even more realistic than Nena and me, but even then, Luke and I are just bros. Like Lou and I. She's just like a sister to me.

Speaking of sisters, shit!

I quickly ran to my -actually Luke's- car and got in. Because I was at work, I totally forgot mom and George were at work and couldn't pick up little Laura from kindergarten, so I quickly drove off to the kindergarten and picked her up. After a long sort-of-fight with the woman that had to take care of Laura for _oh poor her_ fifteen minutes longer, I finally drove back, but not home. I drove immediately with Laura to Harry's house. Harry loves Laura and she loves him, and I know it will cheer him up just a little bit.

"C'mon, princess. We're going to see Harry!" I said happily to the little bub in my arms, bouncing her a little bit up and down.

She giggled and smiled. "Hawwy!" she tried to say his name, but her pronouncing is still not perfect. Even though, it's getting better. Ever since she and Milan are all buddy-buddy, she's getting better at speaking. Okay, well all he says, she will repeat and well, he has his special choice of words... but well, as long as she's learning, I'm happy. Even mom and George noticed. Luke isn't too fond of her language now, because of the sentences Milan used on her, are sentences Harry would use on me... or other people he would want to seduce.

"Yeah, bub. Harry. Try to say it, baby. With the ' _r'_ ," I said as I walked us to the big gates.

"Hawwy, yes," she said cutely, nodding her head as she thought she has said it perfectly.

"I so give up on you. Anyway, we're at Harry's yay!" she giggled again and smiled excitedly. I quickly pressed on the 'bell' and waited till I heard a raspy -even raspier then normal- and deep voice speaking.

"Are you the doctor? If not, don't bother to even come in. I look and feel like shit, yes thank you." I smiled and did my best not to laugh. He's so sexy when he's all grumpy.

"Hello to you too, babe. Now, let me in, it's freaking cold outside!" I heard him gasp a little bit and I felt a smile tug at my lips. He so didn't expect me to show up.

"Oh my! Sorry baby. Just expected my sister or Liam to come over, and I'm not ready to face them. Wait, I'll let you in," he said and I heard a little button being pressed from through the speakers. I chuckled at his stupid being and walked with Laura on my hip through the gates and to the front door. Well, Harry is that typical guy that thinks because his gates are closed, he doesn't have to close his door during day. Like, when he's home or when he's gone during day, he never feels the need to actually close the door. As if he's not one of the richest people here and not the most wanted target... I mean... C'mon...

I opened the door and placed little Laura on the ground as she was already squirming in my arms, wanting to annoy the shit out of Harry, like as if that is even possible when you're as adorable as she is...

"HAWWY! HAWWY!" she yelled happily and giggled between it. She rushed on her little legs towards the living room, which she seemed to find pretty easy to my surprise. I mean, she can't even find her own room yet, how can she know where Harry is?! Does she has this 6th sense or what?

I walked after her into the living room and smiled. "He-hey, little princess. What are you doing here, huh?" he smiled down at Laura, his voice sounding very sore and painful. He looked up at me as he placed the little girl in his lap. He was lying on the couch, a blanket wrapped around his body as he looked at TV a bit, I noticed. "You happy you're with me, little one?" he asked directly towards Laura, ignoring me a bit.

_Maybe this wasn't such a brilliant idea...._ My jealous side spoke for once.

"Yes! I missed you Hawwy!" she said cutely as she hugged into Harry's chest.

He chuckled and I must say, my heart melted at the sight. They were so cute together. I mean, Laura is cute just from herself and Harry- I have no words to describe how fucking perfect he is. If anyone would ask me to describe Harry, I wouldn't be able to use words. Whatever is wrong with me, it's worth all of the confusion I get. Really, having Harry in my life is... it's perfect.

Yes we had our ups and downs, but isn't that what keeps a relationship a bit spicy? I mean, not that we have to fight every day, but a discussion here and there is actually healthy for a relationship. And if you have survived many ups and downs, it only shows how strong someone's relationship is.

"I missed you too, little one. You know what? I have this very delicious cupcake in the kitchen. Want to share it with me?" Laura's little face lighted up like it was the best thing ever said, and she nodded eagerly, really wanting food. She's such fatty. I mean, she can eat like, the whole day and not gaining weight at all! I drink water the whole day and even ' _sport'_ and even then I gain weight like it's nothing... So unfair...

I smiled as Harry helped Laura down and got up himself a bit too. Only then I noticed how sick he must have been. He looked pale, not only his face but even his hands, arms and bare feet. _My poor baby._ His curls were lying lifeless on top of his head and his eyes weren't that emerald green anymore, but more the light colour. If I'm honest, he looks exactly like how his appearance was when he was in the hospital...

He first lightly pushed Laura towards the kitchen, so she would know where to run to, before coming to me, his hands holding my hips as he weakly smiled down at me. "Hey," he whispered, his breath hitting my lips because of how close he was standing in front of me.

"Hi," I whispered back, my icy blue eyes looking deeply into his lighter green ones.

"You look pretty," he smiled as he whispered that.

"You look horrible," I honestly said. He rolled his eyes and smirked, but not a full on smirk though... "And you smell," I added, "but I love you, even with all your flaws... oh and your horrible smell, too." He laughed softly and shook his head.

"You're an idiot. Who I seemed to be addicted to."

"Oh, should go to rehab then?"

He winked at me playfully and I smiled. "They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said ' _no no no'"_ he softly mumbled the song by Amy Winehouse. "I just need more of you. So. Much. More," he then added, stepping even closer every word he said at the end. He was now with his chest pressed against mine, his hands still on my hips as mine slowly made their way to his hear.

"I wanna kiss you," I whispered even softer, only auditable for Harry to hear.

He smirked weakly, once again, and shook his head, making me frown and pout. "No, babe. Don't wanna get you sick like me. It's horrible and I know I would wish for you to just give your disease to me so you would feel better when you have it, which I would even regret after." Now I was even more confused, but luckily I got the first part.

"I don't care, babe. Besides, I have a great immune system. I might not even get sick." I reached up on my tippy toes and tried to kiss him, but he turned away, his head turning to the side, making me kiss his cheek.

"I said no, Ni. I don't want you to have this stupid illness, too."

"Please?"

"No."

"How long is this going to last? Normally we should be in Paris right now." I whined.

He sighed and grabbed my face in his hands. "Look baby. I really am sorry that we couldn't go now and that we had to cancel that, but I can't decide when I get sick, neither can you. But I know that I can prevent you from getting as sick as I am now, and I will. Also, we'll go another time. I mean, I promised you we'd go to Paris, because you always wanted to kiss under the Eifel Tower. And when I promise something, I do it, so please babe, stop whining about it. I already feel bad for that, so don't push it, okay? I love you, Ni, baby, but please. Stop about this," he said in a low, raspy voice. Goddamn, he's too sexy to handle. Even when he's sick...

My arms wrapped themselves around his back and I instantly hugged him. "I'm sorry. I love you. Shouldn't have brought that up. I really, really love you." I looked back up, my chin resting on his chest as I did and looked into his eyes.

A smile tugged at his lips and his right hand came up to my hair. "Still want to kiss me?" he asked me with that weak, but cheeky smirk. I nodded and leaned in. Our lips almost touch when-

"HAWWY! CUPCAKE!" We both laughed softly and I rolled my eyes.

"I guess you'll have to wait for that kiss. Let's give the little monster her cupcake." I nodded and followed Harry in the kitchen where Laura was already trying to climb on top of a chair.

...

"Hey," I whispered as I opened the door to Harry's bedroom. I just dropped Laura off at home and was back at Harry's to take care of him a bit.

Even when he's sick, he looks so good. I mean, when I'm as sick as him, I look like I've died 50 years ago, and when he is sick, he's still hot as fuck. Okay, maybe I shouldn't be thinking about how he looks when he's sick. He's the one that needs to be taken care of, not me.

Just when I was about to walk into his room and lie beside him, the doorbell rang. I quickly ran down the stairs and into the living room where I know Harry left the remote to the gates. Once I found it, I quickly pressed on the open-lock-figure and walked to the front door, which I locked once I was back inside. _You never know..._

I opened the door and was confused as ever as I was met with... nothing. Just the dark night sky with his stars... I looked around a bit, maybe the person walked around? When I wanted to close the door again, I saw a letter on the ground. Huh? Why a letter? What is this? 1852?

Without hesitating, I bend down and grabbed the letter. Before shutting the door again, I looked around once again to be sure there was no one. There really was no one, so I locked the door again and walked into the living room. This is really strange, isn't it? A letter in the middle of the night? No one around? Don't you always get your mail at 10am? Or am I just that wrong, right now?

With shaky hands, I opened the letter and let my eyes scan over it. My breathing stopped and I read the letter again, and again and even another time.

_No fucking way..._


	55. Fifty Five

How could this be even true?! I-I... I can't believe it.

Without even thinking twice, I ran upstairs and into Harry's room once again, waking him up quickly as I did. "Harry! Harry!" I softly –well... maybe not so soft- shook his shoulders, waking him up.

"N-Ni? Niall. Niall!" I stopped once I heard him yelling my name and looked at him, still with wide eyes. "What's wrong, baby? Did anything happen?" he asked as he pulled my body in his lap and placed soft  kisses on my cheek.

I relaxed just a little bit because of his touch, but my mind was still a shocked mess. "H-He... a-a-and...-" I said through little shocks that my body caused.

"Shhh. Hey, calm down, baby. I'm here. It's all gonna be alright, yeah? Calm down and tell me what happened, okay?" All I could do was nod and take deep breaths before I slowly started to wrap my mind around it.

"H-He escaped." Was all I said, the letter still in my hands.

"Who escaped, baby?" he asked, slowly pulling the letter out of my hand and unfolding it. He held it in front of the two of us, so I could read It once again.

**_I know where you are._ **

**_If you don't show up tomorrow 11pm at the local park, I'll make sure your precious Harry won't live any longer than a few minutes after that._ **

**_Be there in time, or else..._ **

**_-Forever yours, D._ **

Harry looked in shock to the letter before folding his hands in angry fists. After a few seconds he took a deep breath and sighed. "It's going to be okay, Niall. He won't ever get to you," he said. I looked with a sad and hurt look. "Nor me. I promise. He's in prison, baby. He can't be there tomorrow himself. I'm 100% sure he isn't even around. He didn't bring this himself. I know that for sure. Now, would you feel better if I would take a look outside?" he asked.

I thought for a moment. I'm sure he isn't there anymore, but... well, I never reopened the gates to let anyone out, so maybe he still is here...?

After a few seconds of thinking, I nodded and looked him in the eyes. "Okay, sweetcheeks. I'll take a look around the house and be right back," he said before standing up. I stayed on his bed while he got out. Even though I wouldn't like it, I must admit that I feel bad for making him go outside in the cold night when he's sick. There's probably no one outside anymore and he'll only get even more sick.

For a second- or so it felt- I closed my eyes and rested my head on the soft and big pillow Harry always slept on. It even smelled like him. Hmm... I love his smell.

There was a light 'bonk!' and I opened my eyes immediately after it. With a fast beating heart I looked everywhere around me.

Chair.

Desk.

Man in the open window.

Glass of water.

_Wait what?!_

I looked back at the window and felt my heart beat 20 times faster. _Nothing_. Nothing was there, but... I swear I saw someone in the window! I couldn't be imagining that! I just couldn't...

My heart beat even faster when I heard someone in the hall. Luckily for me, it was only Harry that appeared. Even though, I shouldn't say luckily. When he appeared, I was ready to knock him out with the baseball bat he always kept under his bed, making him hold his hand sup in defeat and a shocked expression sliding across his face. "Wow wow! Niall it's me. Jesus!" he walked closer to me and grabbed the baseball bat from me to hide it back under his bed. "You're really scared, aren't you? Baby, there is no one outside. I've walked around the whole house, and that's quite an exercise, I might add. There is no one, so don't worry. And even if there was, I would beat the living shit out of them if they would only try to hurt you. Please, baby, go to sleep yeah?" I nodded and smiled softly and weakly.

"C-Can you close the window?" I asked, my voice betraying me as I spoke. He chuckled and nodded as he walked up to the window to close it. Once it was closed, he walked back to the bed and got in next to me. "Thanks." This time I whispered it...

He told me it was nothing and kissed my cheek one last time before closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around my waist. I cuddled closer to him and finally felt a bit more safe before I fell asleep.

...

Somewhere during night, I jumped up as I heard a loud ' _bof!_ '. Harry woke up, too and looked up around in the room, only to find the window open once again. _Wait... huh?!_ He closed it... "Ugh, window must have not been locked... I probably forgot that. It's the wind, I guess." He said before he stood back up to close the window again. He suddenly stopped once he was there and tensed up. "Shit," he whispered.

_Oh oh... Something's wrong..._

 


	56. Fifty Six

 "Harry, please. Talk to me! What's going on?!"

Harry hasn't talked to me at all the past half hour. He just grabbed my arm and pulled me to his car as fast as he could. We were driving on the silence road, no one passing by either. It actually made me shiver. The thought of being all alone and such, well no offence, but I personally don't like to be alone. Okay, well I might be with Harry now, but still. The empty road makes me feel a bit unsafe.

"Harry, c'mon. You're scaring me. Drive slower, please," I already begged. Harry was indeed driving like a maniac. Yes, okay, there was no one on the road anyway, but still. It's not a reason to drive as fast as he was right now.

He slowed down the car _luckily_ and slowly came to a stop as he pulled over somewhere random. He eyed me up and down a bit and suddenly frowned. "I'm sorry, baby," he said, his hand reaching up to touch my shoulder, but I wouldn't get any of it. He rolled his eyes and let out a deep breath through his nose. "Look, I'm sorry okay? I just can't tell you what's happening right now. I only want you to be safe, so I'm bring you home."

"This isn't the way home, Harry. And or you're just fùcking stupid, or you act like you are, but my house was the other way. Like, literally," I basically fired back.

"One, don't snap at me, okay? I'm just fùcking only trying to get you safe, yes? And two, I know we're heading the wrong way. You'd seriously think I'd drive you _home_? I'm taking you with me, to _mine,"_ he said, sounding a bit angry though.

_Oh.... ouch..._

...

"Niall? Niall, baby. Wakey wakey time." I heard a soft and deep voice slowly say. It was close to my ear and I even felt breath hitting my neck and ear. Even though I didn't want to wake up just yet, I had to anyway, seeing I felt my seatbelt being unbuckled, making my head lower a bit because it was leaning on it. A soft chuckle soon followed when I didn't bother to move my head. "C'mon, little prince of mine. We really should go now. You can sleep inside on something much more comfortable than this."

I softly smiled before yawning and opening my eyes. They were met with Harry's beautiful emerald green ones, and God! That's the only reason I would even want to wake up lately. Just to see those loving eyes. Those perfect coloured eyes filled with love and passion. God, I love him. Even after a small fight.

"What the fuck are _you_ doing here?" Harry asked when we walked into some random house where we just stopped in front of. It was pretty far away from his house and definitely from mine, but I don't even know how far seeing I was asleep.

The boy on the couch looked up and smiled, glassed on his nose and a book in his hands. _"The Hunger games"_ was written on the cover of the book he was holding. His hair was a tat longer than would be sexy, but he covered it up by putting a scarf or something in it, making it actually looking perfect. His eyes were hazel brown and shining a bit from the light that was shining down on him to read his book. His lips were really rosy and soft looking and his cheeks were looking as soft as a baby bum. "Harry! Lovely to see you again. Might as well know, I live here, remember?" he answered, his voice sounding rough and he had this typical Australian accent.

Harry simply rolled his eyes and sighed. "Look, mate. We need a place to stay just for the night. Mine isn't really... let's say safe and well, I can't bring Niall to his either..." he explained, not giving away whatever happened and what makes him so concern about his and mine safety.

"Hey, Harry, Hazz. No worries. Always welcome here in _Casa di Irwin!_ " the boy said and laughed after it. I chuckled softly with him and smiled. He seems to be pretty okay.

"Thanks, Ash. For letting me into my own property..."

"Hey, I think we both agreed on the fact I would live here and you would buy yourself an even bigger house."

Harry nodded and plopped down on the couch where this mystery 'Ash' was lying on. The boy quickly pulled his feet to his chest so Harry wouldn't sit on them. Harry turned back to the boy and finally smiled. "So, tell me. How have you been these past three years?"

_Uhm... Hello? You're forgetting something here I guess...._

_ME!_

"I've been great, but Hazz, please tell me, who is that?" _Finally! Someone at least noticed my presence!_

Harry looked to me and his mouth opened a bit, before he pulled me into his lap. He let his arms slip around my belly and placed his head on my shoulders after kissing my neck quickly, which made me pull away a bit and giggle because of the tickling feeling. "This is Niall. My boyfriend," he said, sounding so proud when he did. It almost made me teary at the thought of him being proud to be my boyfriend.

The boy smiled and nodded at me. "I see. Before I comment on any of that, I'm Ashton. Nice to meet you, Niall. As you can see, I basically live here. It's Harry's house, but he told me it was alright for me to stay here," _Ashton_ explained.

"That's nice," was basically all I knew to say.

He nodded in agreement and smiled even brighter. "So, Harry. Tell me. Since when are you liking men?"

_Oh... That's awkward..._

Harry didn't seem to mind at all and just laughed, holding me even tighter. "I'm not gay, if you think that," he said. _Wait... what? Ouch?! You shouldn't say that when you're with your_ boyfriend _!_ "I think I only fall for Niall. It's weird, you know? I just feel like there is no need to be gay for me, seeing Niall's the only guy I will ever need in my life. Okay, and maybe if I would ever get a baby boy, _he_ would be the second boy I love."

_Oh yeah... The baby talk..._ I do remember talking about that...

***flashback***

_"What do you think of children?" he asked, softly drawing circles on my back. "I mean... I know you can't get pregnant, really, don't worry about that, but... I mean, wouldn't you just... like to have a kid? Someone that will bring us even closer to each other?"_

_"Harry I-" I stopped myself. Even I never thought about it, and hell, I thought that I already thought about everything. "I don't think I'm ready for such a big step. We aren't together for a year yet... I-I just don't know."_

_"I'm not saying, now, baby. It wouldn't even be possible for us at the moment, but just for in the future. A little kid running around the house... I don't know either, Ni. I just know that, if I ever want a kid, it will be with you. I will bring up my child with you, even if it's impossible."_

_"You're rambling, Harry." He chuckled and kissed my hair._

_"Sorry, it's just. The question never came up to me till we started dating. I mean, when we weren't even dating, I didn't have to worry about that. I would marry and get kids with a woman, then. But, now it's all different."_

_Then I started to think. I even felt guilty. Am I the reason why he can't get kids of his own? Am I the one that's ruining his life, his future because I can't get pregnant and can't get children?_

_It really made me think and question our whole situation..._

***End***

"Hey, blondie?" I lightly shook my head to get rid of my flashback and looked confused up at the brown-haired boy in front of me who was snipping his fingers in my face.

"Uh what?" I asked, still not really on earth again.

He laughed and grabbed a mug from the little table in the center of the living room, which only made it even more clear how small the living room here really was. "Here, your tea. Drink up, before it's cold." He smiled and drank from his own.

...

"Good night, Ashy. See yah tomorrow," Harry said as he ruffled through the brown-haired boy and laughed.

"Yeah yeah, make sure to make me breakfast tomorrow, you're the chef here anyway," Ashton laughed a little and flashed a bright smile whereupon Harry and I both laughed.

"Sure, mate. Anyway, good night. We're going to sleep."

"And with sleep, we really mean sleep, I may hope so at least... You know these walls are really thin, and no, I don't want to hear how much you're having fun there..." We laughed once again and Harry rolled his eyes before we walked up the small stairs and into the somewhat bigger room. It was pretty empty except for a bed that was made up, but looking pretty dusty and a single sofa.

Harry turned me around and made me stand in his arms, mine pressed up against his chest. His eyes looked deeply into mine and there was a flash of love and a hint of lust in them. His lips curled up into a small smirk and his hands roamed up and down my back, going lower and lower every time he went up and down again. "Harry, we can't. Ashton will hear us. The walls are really thin," I softly whined, wanting him probably just as bad as he wants me, even though I know we can't. Poor Ashton...

"I'd say, don't make too much noise..." he said seductively before attacking my neck with his lips.

_I think this is going to be a very crazy night..._


	57. Fifty Seven

 

The next day I woke up, I smelled something delicious. Harry was probably making breakfast, seeing that I know how much Harry loves to cook. Note the sarcasm.

I mean, yes he does like baking things and just making delicious things, but he'd prefer to stay in his bed and let someone else get him breakfast.

So I just stood up and grabbed my clothes again. Seeing last night was pretty... _amazing_ , I didn't had the power to even put on clothes at all after we were done. Anyway, I did my best to be quite and I know Harry did, too, but it's just so hard to shut your mouth when someone is rocking in and out of you at a fast and steady pace, so I'm honest if I say: _'sorry Ashton'_

When I reached the kitchen, I saw Harry swaying his hips very slowly and not even much at the rhythm of the song 'Earned it' by 'The Weekend' from that movie '50 Shades of Grey'. It was pretty sexy to see my boyfriend swaying his hips like that on such a dirty and sexy song. It was so addictive. So, so interesting actually. I could watch him for hours. Just him being himself, is more than enough for me to be all in a trance and be left over with just the love I have for him.

My body didn't communicate with my brain, as I felt myself walking closer to Harry, till I reached him and softly engulfed him into a warm hug. I felt him tense and immediately relax when he noticed it was me. "Morning, princess," he mumbled softly, knowing I don't like that nickname one single bit. _He's a bigger dick than he has..._ I thought, but of course didn't say out loud.

"Good morning, my sex god." He chuckled and shook his head a bit.

"Up for some waffles and whipped cream?" he asked, turning his head a bit so he could sort of look at me.

I grinned and kissed his shoulder. "I have some idea's we could do better with the whipped cream than only eat on a waffle."

He gasped and turned fully around so he was able to look at me in shock, almost. "God. I so ruined your innocence, didn't I? Little Nialler is getting very bad, should I punish you for that, or what?" His face inched closer to mine, but we were interrupt by someone coughing behind us, making us snap our head into the direction, only to find Ashton standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. I blushed a deep crimson red and looked back to my feet immediately. "Morning, Ash!" Harry said, sounding shameless.

_Of course he doesn't feel awkward at all... why does it always have to be me? Why do I always have to feel awkward?_

"Harry, Niall." He said before standing up from the wall he was leaning against.

...

"So... did you have a nice night?" Harry asked as we were eating breakfast all together. He looked at Ashton, who wasn't even looking back at first.

"Hmm.. let me think.. _'Oh Harry! Faster! Deeper!'_ Does that sound like I even slept at all?" I think I lost it there...

When I looked at Harry, he seemed to be fine, just once again. "Well, that's the life of being friends with a gay couple, I guess?" he said casually. _Of course, why not?_

"Harry, if I was you, I'd be a bit more quite next time, seeing that it would be gold to post those noises on a porn site," Ashton sassed back. And I officially don't want to be here anymore.

"Shut up, porn-sites would explode when they hear our moans,"

"Anyway, let's not talk about this, I'm kind of losing my appetite," Ashton said before diving back in his breakfast, Harry and I doing the exact same.

...

"Thanks we could stay the night, Ash. Really, thank you so much. I'll text you and you should come over for dinner at mine next time." Harry and I were just about to leave again, seeing it was "safe" again or something. Harry had called someone he clearly knows and he and the guy were on the phone for more than an hour, while Ashton and I were just watching 'The Maze runner', by the way, amazing movie! I hadn't seen it before, but God! Dylan O'Brien looks fucking sexy while running for his life because the griever is following close behind him.

Anyway, Harry was on the phone the whole time, talking to this random person who checked all around the house and around mine, but unnoticed and he seemed not to find anyone, so Harry told Ashton and I that we would go back.

"Yeah, you better make it the best dinner ever, seeing you really owe me," Ashton laughed before hugging both me and Harry.

"Of course, we'll see you when I text you, yeah?" Ashton nodded and smiled.

"I hope to see you around, Ashton. You're really cool. And at least you do watch movies with me and actually don't care when I talk through it." I said, smiling at him once more.

"Excuse me? I watch movies with you, too, you know?"

"But you always tell me to shut up and I just happen to talk through movies. It's not a shame to like to talk about the movie. You're just a poohead!" Ashton laughed about my nickname for Harry and shook his head.

"I'd say, get going and fight about that in the car, yeah? I hope to watch some movies with you again, Niall. I indeed don't care when you talk through a movie, because most of the time, I just think the same, I just never say it out loud."

"Yeah, well we'll see you around, Ash. Thanks again for letting us stay. Bye!" Before I could even say anything, Harry dragged me away from the door and to his car. Ugh, he's a bit grumpy...

Ever since he talked to that person on the phone, he's a bit grumpy. Sure, he doesn't show it off like that, well not that often, but I just know him from the inside out. I know every bone of him, so I _feel_ when he is a bit grumpy and when not.

Once we were inside of the car, it was silence. A fucking painful silence that was surrounding the two of us. When I wanted to open my mouth again, to say something, he cut me off. "Niall, I'm sorry." _Okay... strange...._

"It's okay?"

He sighed and lowered his head a bit, looking down at his hands that were neatly folded in his lap. "I'm so, _so_ sorry. I just can't do this."

I was just dumbfounded, confused to say the least. What the fuck did he mean? "H-Harry, wh-what?"

He slowly shook his head and looked back up, his hands placed on the steering wheel before he started the energy. "I'm bringing you home, Ni."

...

I tried to get him to talk to me through the whole drive. I mean, why was he suddenly acting like this? First, he's mysterious. Then he's all lovely dovely. We even made love! For crying out loud! Then suddenly he's grumpy and now he's confusing me like shit! What is he? _Bipolar_ or what?

Within a few minutes, I gave in on his ignorance and let silence take over. I hated awkward silence. I always have, but this one was even worse. The tension could be felt from here to Amsterdam and back. It was annoying and even frustrating.

Once we pulled up on my driveway, I felt my heart beat even faster. I turned towards him, silently asking for an explanation. Of course I didn't expect our conversation to become very easy and all, but at least I hoped it wouldn't be as awkward as the drive here was. Harry didn't turn towards me, in fact, he just looked back at his hands. "Please, Niall. Don't make this harder than it already is," he whispered, sounding so broken.

"H-Harry, I- I don't know what you mean?"

He sighed and bit his lip. I couldn't see his eyes, but I did notice the single tear that was slipping out of his eye and rolling down his cheek. _His perfect cheek that would always have this hint of pink in it whenever he's happy or crying._ His lips started to tremble and as soon as my mind cleared itself from all the things that happened and made space for new information to get in, I could feel my skin getting paler just from realization.

"A-Are you-"

"Please, Niall. Don't."

"Are you breaking up with me? Like, for real?" my voice spoke, almost not auditable.

"Niall, I-" he started, but never finished. He just started to sob uncontrollable and I? I just sat there, my mind still wrapping itself around the new information. I couldn't bring myself to comfort him. I just couldn't. My body felt numb and my mind seemed to not react to this.

Without thinking, I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the door. I could hear Harry whine a bit and sobs were coming from him violently, but I couldn't stop myself from walking away.

The door slammed shut from his car, and I walked up to the door. When I searched in my pockets and didn't find them, I decided it would be better to knock on the door and wait, so that's what I did. I knocked and waited. Not a minute later, the door opened. I glanced behind me and saw that there was no car anymore. No boyfriend who would walk up to me and kiss me goodbye.

_No Harry..._

 


	58. Fifty Eight

"Hey, Ni? Where's H-" I turned around, eyes already filled with tears so my view got blurry. It didn't take me long to let the tears fall and my legs get numb, so I doubled over and fell right against the person that opened the door, it being Luke. "Shit! Ni, what's wrong? What happened?"

He pulled me back straight to my feet and without hesitating a second, he picked me up like Harry should when we would get married a- _No Niall! Don't think like that! The man just fucking broke your heart! He doesn't deserve to be in your thoughts like that._

Luke had put me down once we were back in the living room and made me lay down on the couch a bit. I quickly brought my knees up and pulled me up a bit so I was in a sitting position. "Little bro, what's the matter?" he asked. I didn't move nor answer. I just sat there, looking, no _staring_ in front of me just in the distance.

I heard Luke sigh a bit before I was left alone in the living room again. Somewhere behind me, probably in the kitchen, I could hear his voice faintly speaking. I guess he was on the phone, seeing no one else was here in the house, well maybe Laura is upstairs, but she's probably asleep, seeing it wasn't that late, but late enough for her to take her nap. A bit like a late fiesta, which is Spanish for taking a short nap during lunch time, seeing the sun is at its highest then. _Wait... why am I thinking about this?!_

It didn't take long till I heard the doorbell rang and the moment Luke let in the person he called, I knew I wouldn't get rest till I would tell the whole story...

Louis plopped down on the couch and pulled me into his arms a bit, holding me closely so he could 'protect' me. "Hey, baby. What happened? Can you tell your best friend why you look like a crying mess?" _I so hate him at times..._

I looked up at him, my eyes probably looking all red and puffy from the crying. "I-I... and. D-Danny and H-Ha-"

"Sh, sh, sh. It's okay, baby. Your favourite superhero is here. I'll solve all your worries and problems. Calm down first though, yeah? Wanna take a shower maybe? I can make you even a nice warm bath and you can relax for a few minutes, yes? Sound great, doesn't it?" Even though he's trying his best to be easy and careful with me, it doesn't really help. I don't know what to do.

I just feel so lost without Harry. He's my everything. Well... might as well get used to say _was..._

"Baby? What do you say? Should I run you a bath?"

"Lou, let him be for a second, please. Can't you see he wants to have some alone time?"

"A bath would be nice," I decided after  Luke was done telking Louis off. Louis grinned and stuck his tongue out to Luke who just looked dumbfounded at me. We stood up and walked up the stairs to the bathroom. There was a big bath in the middle of the whole bathroom and a giant mirror placed right in front against the wall. We weren't in Luke's and mine bathroom, but in my parent's. It's bigger and I like it here more.

"So, let's run you a bath, shall we?"

...

"Oh this is life," Louis said, chuckling a bit after. He was spread out on George and my mom's bed and sighed as I lay down next to him. It was actually really nice. After taking a long and calming bath, this was amazing. At first I thought a bath wouldn't help, but just being in hot water, really made me forget about everything a bit.

It was quiet for a few minutes. Not that I mind being in silence, but this time it was a bit... too quiet?

"So, Nialler. You still gonna tell me what happened?" Louis broke the silence and my mind immediately started to think back at what just happened.

Harry dumped me.

He fucking dumped me!

How could he do something like that?!

Doesn't he know I have feelings?!

I could feel myself starting to cry again as I sat up against the headboard and Louis came up to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. _I really love my best friend at times..._ "Hey, Ni. Don't cry. It's okay. It's all okay. You'll be fine. Shhh. I'm here yeah?" I hid my face in his shoulder and let some tears fall before I recovered from my crying-mess-being and looked at him through my tears.

"He dumped me," I said calmly, feeling my eyes fill just once again.

Louis pulled away from me a bit more and looked at me in shock. "H-He did?" he whisper-asked in disbelieve.

I only nodded and looked down at my hands, a tear falling down on my hand. "Lou, I love him so much..." I whispered.

Louis smiled in sympathy at me and held me even closer. "Hey, know what will make you smile again?" I shook my head and looked up at him. Louis grinned and pressed his lips to my temple.  "Story time." He smiled brightly and it was _then_ that I realized... _He hasn't react the way he should..._ Louis freaked out and would have killed Harry last time he did something equal to this if Luke wasn't there to take his place in. I wonder what he would do now if he hears what happened... Last time he didn't... _dump me...._

...

I was still lying in bed. Louis was downstairs, making us some tea and he will be up soon. I know he will. Not that I mind his presence, I just which I could be alone for a minute. When I'm sad I mostly like to be around the ones I love so I can just relax and smile again. The saddened thing is, the one I love the most, isn't there anymore to cuddle into.

"STORY TIME!" Louis yelled once he walked into the room, placing his bum on my bed and a mug of steaming tea into my hands. "You ready for an awesome story?" He smiled. Really... he's also on drugs or what?

"Uhm, I think so?"

"Great!"

"Wait, this isn't a story you would tell to get Laura asleep, now is it? Because in that case, I'd like to be alone and get some sleep," I said, being actually honest.

"Babe, don't worry. I'm not that bad of a friend. I'm just telling a lovely story." _Yeah right..._ "Okay, now get comfy, I wanna start!" I laughed softly and made myself more comfortable under my sheets. My hands were on the edges of my sheets and my eyes were right above it, the rest of my body being covered. Louis smiled and almost cooed at me. "You're too cute like that, Ni. Now, let's start."

I laughed softly and nodded. "It's about time!"

"Okay! Now, the story I'm going to tell is about two boys-"

"Louis, are you sure this is a good idea?" I heard Luke's voice from the door.

Louis and I turned our heads and Louis spoke up. "Of course. It's not even about anyone we know! Just a story!"

"Alright, have fun. I'm going to watch another movie with Laura who's currently awake. See you tomorrow Nialler and Lou, don't wake me when you come into the guestroom, please?" Lou laughed and nodded.

"Wouldn't dare. Now, get your ass out of here!"

"See yah both."

"Good night, Luke. I love you," I said.

"Excuse me?" Louis came in between.

"We're brothers, babe. Chill. Love you, too, kiddo." And with that, Luke left our room. True story, he's going to ask George if he could have the guestroom, so we would both have separate rooms. Just for privacy.

...

My mind was going crazy after Louis left. The story wasn't all too big either. Basically about me and Harry what we were before, but then with a happy ending. I mean, he did use other names, it being Ben and Tom, but still... It was pretty obvious that it was just about Harry and I.

I know it just happened today, but it feels like I've been alone without him for so long that it started to hurt so fucking bad. Somewhere deep inside of me. Somewhere in my little toe, I feel that he didn't mean it at all. But then realization came to me... _He dumped me._

I really, truly love him and I'm still not over how could he just do something like that? I thought we were meant to be? I thought we would live happily ever after?

God was I wrong about that...

The only question that's still going around in my head is: Why?

_Why did he do that?_

_Why did he dump me all of a sudden?_

_You can't fall out love just in two seconds, now can you?_

_He seemed to be totally fine before I got that letter the night I was taking care of Harry..._

_If he didn't fall out of love with me then... then that must mean he never really did love me?_

My heart just dropped to the pit of my stomach. He didn't love me? But... he told me before he did... more than once... He told me! He told me he loved me! This is so wrong! The only three words that have so much meaning, didn't mean shit to him then?!

I knew it from the moment I saw him that he was trouble, but no! Niall had to fall in love with him! Of course!

Should have stayed away from him. Shouldn't have said yes to Mr. Cowell.

_I shouldn't have fallen for Harry..._

 

 


	59. Fifty Nine

 

"Get out of my house!" I woke up by yelling from downstairs and curiosity took over my whole body. Of course I went to look, in my blue pajama bottoms and not even matching white tops. With my cute duckling-slippers on, I walked downstairs, but stopped when I saw who was standing in the hall.

"You don't get it, I really have to talk to Niall."

"I said no! A friend of that prick, is no friend of mine and isn't allowed to talk to my little brother, got it? Now move!" Luke yelled, looking pretty scary though. If I was any of Harry's friends now, I wouldn't even dare to show my face here, if I knew Luke would react like that of course...

"Look, boy! I get that you're all protective over your little brother, sure, but as protective as you are over him, I am over my friends. Now don't make me angry and let me have a few words with Niall, seeing he deserves to know tha-"

"No! Get out!" I saw in Liam's eyes that he wasn't really pleased with the way Luke was threatening him, but he stayed calm, for all I could see.

"Okay, buddy. I'm not even here to fight. If you think it's the best for them to be crying all day and night, not getting any food nor even out of bed, then fine. Have a nice day." He was just about to go away, when someone's voice stopped. It only took me a moment to realize it was mine.

"Wait!" Liam turned around and looked shocked at me. I probably looked like a mess, and today? I couldn't care less, but I guess he was even more shocked that I wanted him to stay. "What did you want to talk about?" I asked in a small voice, feeling like a child...

"I-I just wanted to talk to you about the whole situation, you see..." Liam looked at Luke who was giving dead glares at him and with his arms crossed over his chest, he looked like a real bodyguard.

"Luke, can you give us a moment?" I asked him, looking at him with hopeful and pleading eyes. He only clenched his jaw and took a deep breath, but eventually stood up from the wall he was leaning against and walked away. I waited a few seconds to make sure he wasn't eavesdropping and looked back at Liam after. "Okay, go on."

He nodded and sighed. "Look, Horan. I don't know how this even all started. One day I was helping you with the whole trainers-thing and the next, I see Harry at my door, totally confused about what he felt for you. And no, I may not know what happened, and yes that's one of the reasons I'm here, but for now all I know is that Harry is a crying mess in my house and I want to know what happened and how I can make that bloke back to the happy and active boy."  _Wait..._ ** _Harry_** _was the crying mess here? I thought he dumped me because he didn't love me anymore? Why is he crying then? Is he even crying over me?_ Oh god this is a lot to take actually. "Well?" Liam asked, breaking my trail of thoughts.

"Not here, come in and make sure you don't make any sound. We're going to my room."

...

_This was fascinating. Harry was a crying mess in Liam's guestroom. He didn't come out ever since we broke up, four days ago. Yes, it's almost a week. He broke up with_ **_me_ ** _. He dumped_ **_me_ ** _and then here he is, crying over, what Liam supposes is me, and he didn't even have the guts to tell anyone why he did it? I mean, how pathetic. How fucking pathetic! I am the one that can cry! If he didn't want to break up with me, then he shouldn't have done it!_

_Of course, blame it on me! Make him being the victim here while in fact, the real victim is me! I didn't even have a choice! He just said it like there was no discussion going to come. Like I should just listen and do as I'm told, like always._

_Somewhere, I feel like this is the worst thing that ever happened to me. I mean, I've been bullied in school. I've been beaten to plump by these stupid jocks. I've been scared my whole life! Yet... nothing compares to what I feel now._

_I... I feel empty. Like, when Harry left, he took a piece of me with him. My body feels empty. My soul feels empty. I just miss him so much! I wish I was with him now. Cuddling into his side for the sake of God. Being with him so I can make sure he's okay. So I can make him smile that dimpled smile he always have. I still love him, and I know this will take forever to fade away... The thing is... do I even want it to fade away? Do I want to stop loving the boy who made my life one crazy mess, yet a mess I seem to like._

"I'm sorry to hear that, Niall. I really wish I could tell you what his story is. His reason, but he never told me. If I can do anything, please, Niall, tell me what to do then. I really want to do something for you guys, but I just don't know what..."

"Believe it or not, but me neither. He just broke up with me without even telling me why. And don't think I'm not sad about that, believe me. The reason I don't cry anymore is because my body doesn't have any water left."

He chuckled lightly and gave me an apologetic smile. "I'm really sorry, Niall. Look, what I will try to do is talk to him and see if I can get anything out of him, yes?"

"Thank you, Liam. That's really sweet of you."

"Welco-"

"Hey, Ni? Is that prick already gone?"  _Shit..._

"Uh, not really!" I yelled back.

Luke opened the door and his eyes narrowed on Liam. "Out. Of. My. House." He said. He sounded less angry, but it still scared me.

"I was just about to, Mister. Thanks for the talk, Niall. Ever need me, you know where I live, right?"

"Yeah thanks Liam. See you around."

...

Five weeks.

It's been fucking five weeks since we broke up and I'm still not over the break up completely. Sure I'm better now, but it still hurts. Luke and Louis are at least there for me. Mom knows about this whole situation, too and she promised she wouldn't tell George after I asked her not to. Almost a whole year, we lived with them together. Luke eventually got his own room and there is still a guestroom. Wanna know how that happened? George just thought it would be nice to build a bit more around the house. So now it's practically as big as Liam's. So yes, it is big, but it would never become as big as Harry's own house.

I must admit, I'm curious about how he is now. Does he live back alone in his big villa? Is he happy? Is he over me? Is he even still alone? Knowing how many people, girls and guys, want to get in his pants, or better want to get him as more than just a one night stand, it would be a miracle if Harry was still alone... I mean, who wouldn't want to be his? He's rich. He's handsome. He's funny. He knows what's up and he's smart, actually really smart. Wouldn't surprise me if he would be as smart as that guy in the movie  _Iron Man_.

Well anyway, he might be still going around in my head, but I am as good as over the fact we broke up. I mean, yes I'm still feeling empty and not complete, but I don't cry anymore and I at least get out of my pajama and room.

Luke says I'm taking it actually pretty good, because last time he had a relationship break, he cried more than two months and didn't want to go outside at all. Somewhat lucky for him, it was during summer break when he was actually still in school, so he didn't miss on anything.

"BEACH TIME PEOPLE! I WANT EVERYONE IN THE CAR NOW!"

"Louis... You know what I said about yelling in my house."

"Only when you're not inside and when I can't be heard at the end of the street.... I know. Sorry Mr. Hemmings." I laughed and shook my head.

"Where is Zayn? I thought he would come with us?" I asked, suddenly noticing we weren't complete just yet.

"I don't know, he would be here at 10am? Maybe he's a bit late? Stuck in traffic?"

"Or just behind you guys? I mean, I know I'm invisibly sexy, but not that bad, right?" I turned around and saw Zayn with a smirk on his face as he just chuckled.

"Zayn!" I smiled. "Mom! We're complete!" Mom just laughed and shook her head.

"That's great, honey. Now get in the car you all. We go with George's larger car so we all fit in, except for one,"

"Louis can sit in my lap."

"That's going to be too hot, bro. For two reasons..."

Luke started to blush and looked at the ground for a second. Cute... "Okay, so we got everyone and everything?"

"I guess so! We have, Luke, Louis, Zayn, you, George, Laura... yup I guess we have everyone if you include me." I smiled. Mom smiled back at me and pressed her lips to my forehead.

"Then let's have a small break at the beach!" she announced happily. God, I love my mom.  
...

"NIALL! Come and make a sandcastle with me!" Louis yelled from where he was currently making a hole in the sand.

I looked at Luke and smirked. "I know what you're thinking, at least he's my little child," he said, looking at Lou with so much love and awe. Because I'm sort of over the break up with Harry, I can handle some love here and there, so I think it's still cute.

"NIALL!" I chuckled and stood up from the towel I was lying on, sunbathing a bit. Of course Louis had to ruin my soon to be tanned skin! Well, I at least have another six days to become tan....

"I'm here! I'm here! God. You're harder to keep busy than Laura. Speaking of her, where is she?"

Louis looked up at me and smiled before going back to the sand that was now one big pile. "She's with your mom, walking a bit around the beach. Now, sit! I need your help!" I chuckled and sat down on the burning sand.

"Okay, what do I have to do then?"

He explained me everything, from where I had to put the sand to where I had to make a hole. Really a lot information about how he want his sandcastle, but I wasn't paying attention at all. My mind kept going back to everything that actually happened already.

It's been almost a year. At the end of this week, it'll be 1 year. It would be our anniversary.

_Would be..._

 Even though it's already a long time, I still feel... not complete. I feel like I've been split in two. Like I'm not myself anymore. I know, sounds really cliché because that's what those guys always say in the romantic movies after the girl left because he was such a dick and then after that she comes back and he will apologize for his stupid act and in the end they live happily ever after.

The thing is, this isn't a romantic movie. It's the hard reality and it fucking hurts. I wish we lived in a movie. At least then I knew it would all be alright in the end.

After Lou and I made the stupid sandcastle and he wanted to go in the sea with Luke and Laura, I decided to take a walk on the beach.

It was already getting a bit late and we would go to the hotel pretty soon, but I know where it is and where our rooms are, so I decided it wasn't such a bad idea to be alone on the beach for a while.

"You sure you don't want me to walk with you?" Zayn asked for the 7th time already. He really cares about me, I know that. It's nice to know someone really cares about me, even though it's in a friendly, brotherly or even motherly way.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Go to your room already, I'll come by after I'm done here, yeah?"

"Okay, sure. And you're sure you don't want me to take your guitar with me?" he asked, also for the 7th time.

"Yes very sure. Now, go!"

"Okay! Okay! See you later then, I guess."

"Of course."

Zayn walked off and now I was literally the only one on the beach. With a content smile tugging at my lips and my guitar in my hand, I walked up to the end of the beach and looked at the rocks that were placed there before climbing on them and taking place on one of the big rocks, so I had a better view of the whole beach. You know, this all was actually one big circle, but then not a whole circle, just the half of it. It was actually fascinating, beautiful even. With a soft sigh, I looked up at the sky and smiled. It had this pink-blue-ish colour and I think it was actually the most beautiful sky I've ever seen.

Of course it didn't took long for my mind to be back to Harry. His name always seemed to be going around in my head. His face seemed to be burned on my retina. His cologne is stuck in my nostrils. His touch stays tickling my skin. And the taste of his lips is permanent on mine... God I miss him. I'm just not complete without him.

I picked up my guitar again and strummed down a few accords like G and Em and such. Just the basics, till I found a pretty cool sounding tune. My mind was back to Harry as I softly mumbled words that don't exist.

Once I found out some lyrics that pretty much fitted with my guitar, I started to sing a bit along my strumming. It's not good at all, but I was alone, so it was okay to sound like a fool.

_"So your friends been telling me_  
 _You've been sleeping with my sweater_  
 _And that you can't stop missing me._  
 _Bet_   _my friends been telling you_  
 _I_ _'m not doing much better_  
 _'Cause I'm missing half of me._

_And being here without you is like I'm waking up to..._

_Only half a blue sky._   
_Kinda there but not quite_ _._   
_I'm walking around with just one shoe._   
_I'm half a heart without you._   
_I'm half a man at best,_   
_With half an arrow in my chest._   
_I miss everything we do,_   
_I'm half a heart without you._

_Forget all we said that night._   
_No, it doesn't even matter_   
_'Cause we both got split in two..._

_If you could spare an hour or so,_   
_We'll go for lunch down by the river._   
_We can really talk it through._

_And being here without you is like I'm waking up to..._

_Only half a blue_ sk _y._  
 _Kinda there but not quite._  
 _I'm walking around with just one shoe._  
 _I'm half a heart without you._  
 _I'm half a man at best,_  
 _With half an arrow in my chest_  
 _'Cause I miss everything we do,_  
 _I'm half a heart without you._

_Half a heart without you,_   
_I'm half a heart without you._

_Though I try to get you out of my head._   
_The truth is I got lost without you._   
_And since then I've been waking up to..._

_Only half a blue sky._   
_Kinda there but not quite._   
_I'm walking around with just one shoe._   
_I'm half a heart without you._   
_I'm half a man at best,_   
_With half an arrow in my chest._   
_I miss everything we do,_   
_I'm half a heart without you._

_Without you, without you, half a heart without you._

_Without you, without you, I'm half a heart without you..."_ I finished and sighed. Never did I ever wrote a song in my entire life, and here I am, writing a song right from my heart in just a few minutes...

My head snapped up when I heard something behind me, but when I looked, there was nothing... Hmm, must be the wind, or me going crazy...

Not that I wanted to, but I decided it was time for me to go back to the hotel, before I'm not even welcomed anymore... So I quickly walked inside, told Zayn I was safe in and went up to my own room, sighing once I was inside of my bed.

I looked up at the ceiling and smiled.

"Even when we're separate...

_We're still together."_

 


	60. Sixty

 

"RISE AND SHINE MY LADEH!" With a smack, I hit my head at the upcoming ceiling. Really not a place to place a bed... I heard someone laughed and I knew it was just Louis. How did he even get in? I mean, not that I'm surprised, that guy is a monkey when it comes to breaking in, but still...

I groaned when I felt Louis straddling me and pulled the covers even more up when he started to try and get them off. I wasn't really... let's say, wearing much... if you get what I mean. _What_? _I just feel really comfortable being free during the night..._

"C'mon, Niall. It's Thursday and I don't want to spend my last day here in your room, so we're going to eat some breakfast and then back to the beach! Okay well, Luke, Laura, your parents and I are going back to the beach."

"Where's Zayn going?"

"Going to see what's up in this place. He said something about needing sunglasses and something to float on, you know? Him and water, it isn't really the best combination. Monday evening, when you were magically gone, we were talking and he did say he felt really warm, but he didn't want to go in the sea, seeing he could drawn, so Maura told him to get something to float on, so he wouldn't drawn and would still be able to feel the cool water. Oh, such a lovely woman..." I rolled my eyes and grabbed my boxer briefs from the ground, putting them on while I was still under the covers so I was at least not naked anymore.

"Well, then I think I'm going with Zayn today. The beach is nice, but not... Not really for 4 days on a row..."

"What? Why? I thought you loved the beach?"

"Yeah I do, Lou. I just prefer not to be covered in sand each day. Something else would be nice. Might gonna just go into these little shops and such, you know? It's always nice doing that and then I'll have something to be reminded to this short break."

"True. Anyway, get up! It's time for breakfast! I'm hungry! And I know you're too," he said jumping a bit up and down on the edge of my bed.

"Lou, be careful with the bouncing, you might fall off the be-" and I couldn't even say another word, nor finish mine when I heard a loud yelp and saw Louis on the ground, my sheets covering his head a bit. He pulled the sheets back a bit so his face was visible and pouted immediately. He was really cute like that, but still a dork...

My laughter filled the room completely as I looked down on him. "You're. Such... haha. An idiot! Oh, Lou!" I said through my laughter, holding my stomach as I tried to contain my laughter. "Sorry Lou. I really love you, but really, even in the morning you better not be too enthusiast. Now get out so I can get ready. I'll meet you in the cafeteria or something yeah?"

He rolled his eyes, but nodded and smiled. "Okay, Mr. I Don't Like The Beach. See you down in the cafeteria!"

When Louis was out, I let myself fall back on my bed and sigh. Actually a lot happened these past days...

I figured out Danny was released from jail and back on his own feet.

I figured out he was on a break, too, just like me.

And the worst part was, I figured out that he just so had chosen to spend his break here... the same place as I.

The thing is, he seems to be different, like he's changed so badly, but then in a good way. He's nice, sweet, even carrying with Laura. Don't think I trusted him the first time I saw him, which was Tuesday during the afternoon. He just showed up, saying he saw me and thought that was the perfect moment to apologise. Well, don't get me wrong, I did feel weird and such at first, but he just seemed so innocent, I couldn't get myself to tell him I didn't want to see him anymore. That would have felt even worse.

So now we're actually on talking base. He told me how it was for those ' _few days in jail'_ like he called it. He said that he didn't see his days in jail like the actual weeks it were, but just like a few days in jail and the rest was just a sort of break to think, to get his mind off of things.

Anyway, he really did change. He's more open and so carefree now. Playing with Laura was really a sight. Laura laughed and giggled and just everything. The funny thing of this all is, Luke nor Louis nor even my parents know Danny is _the_ Danny that once was my rival. That once tried to kidnap me. But it's all forgiven, right?

I thought some more about what happened. About that night where he kissed me. It was still on my mind, yes. Even more lately. It was that night me and Harry had this huge fight over just the stupidest things ever. Just because he kissed me, Harry was mad. I even remember what he said and did.

"Knock knock." I snapped my head up, my thoughts being interrupted, and smiled. "Can I come in?" A quick nod was sent his way and he walked inside, sitting on the bed while I was trying to get a t-shirt and shorts on. "Where you thinking about something?" he asked.

I laughed softly and nodded again. "Yeah, a bit."

"Can I ask about what?"

"Just everything. Back to what happened in the past a bit, and to now."

"Also... about me?" I snapped my head up and caught his hopeful eyes.

A stupid smile spread across my lips and I chuckled. "Yeah, you, too. Not in a bad way though. Just about everything what actually happened between us and such, you know? Anyway, what are you doing here?"

He shrugged and lay down. "Was going to the cafeteria soon and when I passed your room, I thought, why not say good morning and maybe grab some breakfast with you?"

I smiled once again and finally finished putting on a shirt. "Yeah, breakfast sounds lovely. Might as well wanna go and have a nice day with me? Normally I would go with Zayn shopping for sunglasses and inflatable mattresses, but seeing I'm not really a fan of buying those, I thought we can maybe go and climb on the rocks a bit?"

"Sounds lovely. Well, just not too high, for me. I'm not really a fan of heights," he said, making me smile again.

"Well, looks like we have something in common. I'm not really a big fan of heights either, but I each time I walked around the beach, I saw these big rocks going all up and I want to see what's behind those, except for more water, so might as well just find out. And it's a way to talk a bit." He nodded and smiled at me.

"Okay, Mr. Bravery, let's go then."

"Sure, _Danny_. Whatever you say,"

...

"Hey! You're back! What was your name again? Lenny?" Louis asked when he spotted us walking into the cafeteria.

"It's Danny, but always nice to see you again, _Lewis_."

"Oh! You did that on purpose! I just forgot, sorry... Anyway, come sit with us, Danny! Always nice to have someone extra as company. And you're really a nice and funny lad!" _oh you should know who this is, Lou... you'd kill him... and me for not telling you..._

"Same goes for you, Tommo. I can call you that, right?"

Lou just laughed softly and smiled before nodding. "Yeah you can. Prefer Lou anyway," Louis answered.

"I'm really sorry to say, but that sounds a bit gay, you know?"

That seemed to make Louis laugh even more and he hid his face in my shoulder to contain tears spilling from his eyes while Danny was just looking ever so confused and dumbfounded. "I hope so," he said through his laugher. "I think I have no straight bone in my whole body -my sexy body, may I add."

Danny's mouth was formed into a perfect 'O' shape. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't know!"

"Is okay, mate. Just wanna say, if you ever decide on falling for me, then sorry, I'm already taken." Louis winked and finally walked up back to the table where mom, George, Laura and Luke were sitting. There were three other chairs, one belonging to Louis and I guess the other two were for me and Zayn... "Oh, I'll just grab you a chair, mate," Louis said before taking another chair from some empty table.

"Where's Zayn?" was my first question once I was seated at the table.

Mom looked at Luke for a second before smiling at me. "We honestly thought he was with you, but looks like you're with that new boy, huh?" _oh oh..._

"Yeah, Danny passed by and I asked him to come along. That's okay, right?" I asked, slightly getting nervous. They wouldn't say no to someone who was really nice the whole time, right?

"Of course that's okay, darling. He's lovely. Now, breakfast time. We're going to the beach after, want to join us Danny?"

Danny looked like he's brought back to earth and looked a bit confused. "He's going with me. We were actually about to just climb rocks and see where it'll lead us,"

"But, Ni.. This is our last day, tomorrow afternoon we'll go and we have to do a lot before we go."

"Sorry Ma," I apologized.

"It's okay, Niall. Your mother just wanted to have a family day, but Zayn isn't going to be there, and I don't think Louis and my son will be much with us either, so you can go, Niall. Have fun, but at least be safe," George stepped in between my mom and I.

"But George-"

"Honey, it's okay. They're young, let them go and explore the place here. You know it's okay. Niall's a big boy and he's sure fine with this Danny kid. Don't worry, they'll be fine."

"I know, it's just, he's my baby boy," she almost whispered, trying to only let George hear her. _Mission failed_. "Okay, now let's have this moment then and then off you go, crazy kiddo's." I smiled at my mom and nodded.

...

We climbed a little bit more up and finally came to stop once we reached the top of everything. This was... wow. I don't have words for this. It's really beautiful. I've always been an admirer of beauty.

"This is wow..."

"Yeah, it's beautiful. We should stay here for a bit," he suggested and I agreed. This really was one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. The water of the sea was at the other side much more blue and the sand looked even more white. There was no one at that side of the beach and it only made me want to go there even more and just spend my day there. Just lying on the sand. The sun on my skin. Harry in my arms. The wind softly blowing thr- Wait... I didn't just think that... I didn't think of Harry. I couldn't have thought of Harry!

"So... you and Harry huh?"  _Couldn't_ _have chosen another time_ _?_

"We uhm.. we're through," I said.

"Oh, Niall I'm so so-"

"Don't. I don't need your pity. I don't need anyone's pity."

"I-I-"

"Just stop about this, yeah? Let's go down there, I want to feel the sand. Let's go!"

_Way to get out of the conversation, Niall..._


	61. Sixty One

"Niall?"

I turned my head to the side and nodded as I was writing down the lyrics I made. I called it 'Half a heart' and I actually liked it. When I saw it was Luke, I decided it would be better to hide my song for him. It has nothing to do with trust, it's just... Luke and Louis both think I'm completely over Harry, and that's somewhat true, but I think somehow, I'm still in love with him.

Both Luke and Louis would get suspicious and ask a lot of questions about it as in if I'm really okay and such, and no I do not prefer to answer those at the very moment...

"Huh?"

Luke just smiled and walked in. "What were you doing buddy?" he asked me, a big toothy smile on his face... _He's up to something..._

"Nothing. Just sitting here. It's almost dinnertime and I thought I just spend some time here before I get myself ready. If I go to the beach  _now_  I would be all sand and seaweed would be everywhere and I don't want that. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to rem-"

"Cut the crap, Niall. What's wrong? You know, I might not be Louis or your mom, but a year is pretty long to know you... Well, almost a year..."

_A year..._

_A year ago me and Harry met..._

_A year ago I fell in love with him..._

"I'm okay. I swear. Just a bit in thoughts."

Luke didn't seem to be convinced, but nodded anyway and standing up from my bed he was sitting on next to me. "Okay, well Laura wants to play with you, so you better get your ass out of here and go to her seeing she doesn't want to move till you're there, and for a little girl, she's fucking difficult!" I laughed at that and nodded. Luke turned around and already walked out and I saw my chance to hide my song under my pillow.  _I know... cliché, but hey? It's or the pillow or nothing... so better the pillow then!_  "You still coming, blondie?" Luke yelled from out of my room.

"I'm as blond as you are, idiot!" I yelled back before chuckling and walking out. I quickly locked the door and walked up to him. Oh... I'm going to miss it here a bit I guess...

...

"No! I want to swim!" Laura protested as I wanted to pick her up for a walk on the beach a bit.

"Princess, we can't. I'm not dressed for it and you can't go alone. Let's just have a walk on the beach yeah?"

"No!"  _Pfffff... when Luke said she was being difficult, he didn't exaggerate one bit..._

"Uh... okay, and what if I would say we can go in the pool in the hotel? Yeah? That water is clean and not full of seaweed. Also, then I can change into better clothes."

"No! Sea!"  _Fucking Hell! I hope my child won't be this difficult one day!_

"Okay, Little queen. One last chance, if I buy you a new Barbie doll... will you stop being difficult then?" She seemed to think about this one, which made me having troubles with holding in my laugh. Her thinking-face was just so funny and adorable.

"Niall?" I kneeled down a bit to be at her height and nodded with a smile on my face. "Can you buy me new shoes, too?" she asked cutely.  _She definitely heard my mom saying this to George... Like... for real..._

I laughed softly and shook my head at her silliness. "Of course princess. Anything for you. Now, let's walk around and then you get your new shoes, yeah?"

"And doll?"

"And your doll. But nothing more than that, okay? I don't have the money to buy too much at the moment. Left most of my money at home yeah?" She nodded, but her eyes gave away how confused and not interested she was in the rest of my answer. It's like she only heard that she was getting her doll and the rest was just nothing to her.

_How can she not be family of Louis? For real now?_

"Okay, Nini!" I chuckled again and picked her up before starting my walk with her on the beach.

...

When the sun was going down and Laura had her stuff -like the shoes and doll I promised and also a little stuffed animal she really wanted- we walked back to the hotel and went for dinner. It would be our last dinner here and tomorrow afternoon we would leave. I must say, the beach was a great for me to relax. I did forget some stuff that were bugging me and I had time to concentrate on myself and only myself. Thinking was what I needed.

"Niall darling, we're going to some friends we met here this evening, are you coming with us or would you rather stay with Zayn or the others? Luke said he was going to spend his time with Louis, but I don't think you're allowed to see that..." mom said. How could she be so open about sex? For real now... I mean, I'm more open to it than before I met Harry and such, but- Ugh I did it again! I seem to be thinking of him the whole damn time!

"No, I'll keep Zayn some company. Poor lad can't be alone right?" I winked and laughed softly.

"True story. Now get going, silly. We'll only be here till tomorrow afternoon, so you better enjoy your last night here," mom said before I could even stand up and go.

"Okay, see you guys later then. Bye princess." I kissed her little head softly and got up from the table before anyone else could say another word.

Zayn followed me of course, but even he knew i wasn't going to stay with him. I wanted to just be alone and have these last hours for myself. "You aren't going to hang with me, are you?" Zayn asked with a smirk on his face once he caught up with me.

I weakly smiled at him and held my shoulders up. "Not that I don't like you, Zee. It's just, I want to be alone for a bit, thinking a bit and such, you know? The basics, but they are important. It's just that these past days, I seemed to be able to finally think and this time it's not just thinking about random things, but about myself. I can think of what I want and feel and somehow, I seem to really need that. So sorry if you'll be alone, I mean, I can always ask Luke to be with you so they can fuck another time, but I mean, maybe you should think too? It's actually helpful," I explained, hoping he would get it.

"Nah, I'm good. I'll just read some books I bought or just play a game. It's okay, I don't want the lovebirds to hate me because  _'I was alone and wanted to spend time with them'_. Also, even if I would be there, they would still fuck, with or without me watching..." Zayn shrugged. I laughed and shook my head, knowing how true that statement was...

"Okay, well, still I'm really sorry, so if you need me, just search on the beach, I'll probably be there somewhere. If not, then just call." Zayn nodded and smiled at me.

"I definitely will. See yah later on, Nialler."

"See yah!"  
...

The sun was already under and it was actually a pretty beautiful night. I didn't even want to know how late it was, I mean it must have been around the 10-11pm, seeing it was dark and still warm.

When I looked up at the sky from the rocks I was on, once again, I could see the stars. There were a lot of stars, meaning it would be a beautiful day tomorrow, but right now, it was already beautiful enough...  _I've always been an admirer of beauty._

I kept looking at the sky for a few more minutes, till I heard something quite familair. It was as if I already heard that sound, but I couldn't place a name on it....

"I got a heart and I got a soul.

Believe me I will use them both.

We made a start.

Be it a false one, I know.

Baby, I don't want to feel alone."

I looked around me after I sat up straight. There was no one, nothing... Still, i could hear a voice singing. I don't know who it was, but goddamnit he has one of the most beautiful voices I've ever heard.

"So kiss me where I lay down, my hands press to your cheeks.

A long way from the playground." Okay, well that was Zayn's voice, I've never been  as sure about something as I'm now.

"I have loved you since we were 20.

Long before we both thought the same thing.

To be loved, to be in love.

All I can do is say that these arms were made for holding you, ohoh ohooh.

I wanna love like you made me feel,

When we were 20."

"We took a chance.

God knows we tried.

Yet all along, I knew we'd be fine."

"So pour me a drink.

Oh love, let's split the night wide open and we'll see everything.

We can live in love in slow motion, motion, motion." Okay... sound an awful lot lot like Liam....

"So kiss me where I lay down, my hands press to your cheeks.

A long way from the playground." I swear, it's Zayn's voice... I would have never imagine he could sing that well, fuck...

"I have loved you since we were 20.

Long before we both thought the same thing.

To be loved and to be in love.

And all I can do is say that these arms are made for holding you, ooh.

And I wanna love like you made me feel.

When we were 20....

When we were 20...

Oh lord, when we were 20." I was so close to placing a name on the voice... I swear to God, I know this voice...

"Kiss me where I lay down, my hands press to your cheeks.

A long way from the playground."

"I have loved you since we were 20.

Long before we both thought the same thing.

To be loved and to be in love." that was so Louis. I know him way too long to know it can't be anyone else than Lou...

"And all I can do is say that these arms were made for holding you.

I want a love like you made me feel.

When we were 20.

I want a love like you made me feel.

When we were 20.

I want a love like you made me feel..." I must say whoever sings along with Lou, Zayn and Liam, I swear... they can sing pretty well!

"When we were 20..."

And then I knew it...

_Harry..._

**Really sorry for the song, but I had to change it for the story being... it would have been better if they would have met when they were 18... funny fact, they were 20, Harry even 21 in the story... so it would have been weird if I would have kept it like that, so sorry if you didn't like that, but if you're a bit into the story you wouldn't have mind.**

**I rather change the song, then keep it that way and actually ruin it in the story...**

 


	62. Sixty Two

 

My mouth was agape as my thoughts were trying to form words. When I heard something come from behind me, from higher up on the rocks, my body turned itself around and waited for anything to appear.

When nothing came, I could feel the disappointment running through my veins. Maybe I wished it was Harry...

Maybe I thought it was Harry because I miss him. Because I wanted it to be him, but I was clearly wrong. If I would be right, I would have seen him already... He would have come up to me, make me laugh and smile and just when I look into his eyes, he would kiss me passionately. Like in those bad romantic movies that I happen to love so much...

With a deep sight of disappointment, I stood up and walked back to the ground where I normally belong. My bare feet were buried in the sand and I must say, I liked the feeling of the cold sand through my toes. Staring at my toes wiggling through the sand, a small smile seemed to have made its way on my face.

When I was about to walk back to the hotel , a pair of shoes stepped in front of mine. My head kept looking down to our feet, till I realised those feet belonged to someone... I looked up and my eyes were caught with two beautiful, emerald green ones...

"Well, well? Leaving without applause?" My eyes widened and I almost couldn't believe it. As if I was sleeping and would wake up any second now...

"No..." I whispered under my breath, feeling so many feelings at the same time. Every feeling existing was going through my veins...

His head came closer to mine and when his lips touched my ear, I literally melted. My knees went weak and my balance was slowly dripping away. "Well? Applause!" he said into my ear, making me shiver from head to toe.

Once my head was back to reality, I pulled back from him and looked into his eyes. They were shining so hard in the moonlight and filled with this one emotion I tried to deny these past weeks. His smile was just dashing and his amazingly sexy jawline was even more beautiful after a few weeks. His hair was longer, but that didn't mean it wasn't sexy anymore. It even turns me on, the imagine of me pulling at his hair while we - _okay... don't go that far, Niall._

"Hmm... I like it when you stare at me, Niall, but don't you think it's starting to be creepy?" he said making me snap out of my trail of thoughts.

I kept on staring at him and after a while, I felt myself leaning in, just like he did. Our lips touched softly and my mind was spinning immediately. I think our lips were locked for quite a long time, till he broke the kiss and pulled back, placing a quick peck on my lips after.

"How the fuck did you get here?" Was my first sentence after I saw him back.

Harry laughed and caressed my cheek with his knuckles. "God I missed you. You have no idea how much I wanted to hear your voice again. How much I wanted to be the one that causes you such a beautiful smile." I deeply sighed as he carried on with stroking my cheek.

"Harry... I-"

"I know, and I'm sorry. I really am. Look, I promise to explain everything. I swear. You'll understand it later... but for now, you just have to enjoy the moment."

"But... you broke up with me... "

"And that was the worst mistake I've  _ever_ done in my life. Niall, baby, I should have done something else, but I just couldn't think straight. I'll explain everything. I'll answer every question you want to ask me. I do everything to have you as mine again, Niall. Please?"

"I don't know if I can trust you, Harry. You hurt me so bad, till today I still had to struggle to get you out of my mind. I kept telling everyone that I was okay, that I was over you, but in reality I wasn't. I wasn't okay. I wasn't over you, Harry... I still love you so much, it hurts to not being able to just fall in your arms and pretend nothing happened, because in the very end, I can't pretend. I can't pretend nothing happened Harry... I just can't," I stuttered out in the end because tears were slowly falling from my eyes, landing on my cheeks before they hit Harry's hands.

"Niall, baby, don't cry. Hey? It's okay. Shh. I never told you to pretend nothing happened. I can't pretend either, it's okay to feel like this. But we'll get through this, we've been through worse, now didn't we?"

I sighed and nodded before a weak smile replaced my frown. "We indeed did, but... I don't know."

"You don't have to know, Niall. You don't have to think. Feel. Let your heart speak, let it tell you what you want." For a few seconds there was this complete silence. It was uncomfortable, but I didn't know what to say and Harry didn't speak at that very moment. "I don't know how I can make it up to you, I know I probably never can, but after I realised I wasn't able to hold you in my arms, baby you have no idea how stupid I felt. Can't you see it? I'm miserable without you, and I know somewhere deep down there, you are, too. I might sound really selfish now, but I want you to be mine. I want you to be mine forever."

I took a deep breath, trying to get all the information into my head before I said anything. "Okay," I breathed out.

"Okay?"

I chuckled lightly and smiled a true smile. "Now don't make me reference to ' _The Fault In Our Stars_ '." Harry laughed softly and swatted my upper arm. "What I meant is, okay. I'll be yours, part 2." He laughed once again and when his eyes lit up, I almost felt bad for what I wanted to add to that. "But I don't forgive you, just yet." I could see the joy and happiness slowly dripping away, but it was back in his eyes rather fast.

"I don't mind about that, Niall. If I was you, I would have never forgive me. I wouldn't even stand to be with me ever again, so thank you. For giving me a second chance."

I looked deeply into his eyes as I stepped even closer to him and before our lips would lock, I softly whispered: "I think it's already the third, but fuck it. I love you."

"To the moon and back?"

"And back." and with that our lips locked once again.

 


	63. Sixty Three

  **WARNING:** **this chapter** _ **will**_ **contain smut...**

**You've been warned...**

**Also, don't skip this chapter, because a lot of information will be in it. I'll warn you when _it_   happens**

"I'm hungry!"

Silence.

"And bored!"

Silence.

"Harreh! Give me attention!"

1 year, 4 months 21 days and I have no idea how many hours, and Harry and I are finally into Paris. _God fucking finally!_

Harry just looked up from his book with his glassed on -which he doesn't even need- and gave me the _'Why the fuck are you talking? Shut up'_ look... Yeah... When I didn't say anything, he just looked back down and kept on reading. _Seriously? He decided to read? Now? Of all the times?! He can read when I'm dead yeah! Fucking hell I'm bored!_

"HARREH!"

He slammed his book shut and looked up to me after a sigh. His head followed mine a bit, trying to be face to face with me. Well yeah, seeing I was lying on the couch, feet in the air as my head was off of the couch, it wasn't really easy for him to come to the same position I was in. "What are you even doing?"

"I'm looking at the world from another view. What you think I'm doing? While you're reading that stupid sex book of yours, I'm here being bored! You should like... give me attention!" He just chuckled and shook his head.

"What am I supposed to do with you then? It's raining outside and we only go back home tomorrow. I suggest you just watch some TV?"

I glared at him, knowing he did that on purpose. "Fuck you. You know I don't understand shit of French."

"Then buy a dictionary and start learning."

"You're a dick."

"And you like those, right?" he said, winking dirtily after.

My face –hopefully- told him that I was not amused, but as if that even mattered to him. "I'm going to seriously steal those books you read, like isn't that a woman's book? Like... not for you?"

"Depends on how you see it. I just like love stories, and guess what these are about?"

"A man that's fucked up in the head because he tortures random girls with sex?"

Harry rolled his eyes at me and I could feel I basically pissed him off... Hehe... Well, what can I say? That's how I always imagined how the story went... It's not my fault the story is like that..

"It's not just sex, Niall. Not everything is just sex. You have people that at least put their love in it. You know, I'm pretty sure you used that term once... and if I remember correctly, that was the first time we-" he cut himself off there, seeing he wasn't in the mood to say nasty words... Cockblock... for real....

"I knew it! I really should have brought Louis with me. He at least already read those so I could at least make fun with him!"

"You're so annoying at times, Ni. But fine! You've got my attention, use it wisely."

"Okay great! Let's do something!"

"Like?"

"I don' t know... What do your characters always do when they're bored?"

"Uhm... They fuck?"

"Oh my dear, Harry! I thought there was something else as sex, too? Oh what was it again? I'm sure I used that once..."

He once again rolled his eyes to me and sighed. "If we look up a place where it doesn't rain not far from here, and I drive us there, will you shut up then?" I nodded eagerly and smiled. He smiled back and that's when the adventure began...

... 

"I hate you."

"No you don't. Just because you were not allowed to go on a picture with Mickey Mouse, you don't have to hate me. The little girl was waiting way too long for him and then we had to go, I'm sorry Ni, Baby."

I just huffed, once again, but smiled eventually. I must say, I had an amazing day in Disneyland Paris with Harry. Of course, just being in Disneyland wasn't the only reason I was actually exploding with happiness. There was this _little_ other thing that made my day complete. "Well, then I hate you because you scared the crap out of me!"

He just laughed and walked up to me once he had locked our hotel room. "Hmm, don't tell me you didn't like it. I mean, I can always take it ba-"

"No! No, really that's not necessary." Harry shook his head and smiled down at me before locking our lips in a lovingly and happy kiss.

Once he pulled back, our foreheads touching, he looked at me, deeply into my eyes with the most lovingly and passionately look I've ever seen him giving me. "Let's go rest for a few hours. I think we're both exhausted from this."

Not that I wasn't tired, I mean, I literally was exhausted as hell, but I didn't want to rest. I think I wasn't even able to do so, actually, but after Harry dragged me to the bed and made me lie down, I wasn't even able to stop the sleep that was taking over me.

_..._

_"Wow... Harry, look at that!" With my pointer finger pointing to the big castle in Disneyland, I gasped in excitement. It was literally stunning here. We of course won't be able to see the whole damn place, but being here is already the best I've ever could wish for. We've been here ever since this morning 10am, and I guess it's right now... 6pm?_

_"I know, baby. It's stunning. Let's take a closer look, yeah?"_

_"But... can't we like, be here when it's firework-time? I want to see the fireworks, Harry!"_

_Harry nodded and smiled. "We will, Niall, don't worry. Just look at that, it's so beautiful, and well, I want to take a closer look, seeing it will be too dark to see anything at midnight and then there will be too many people to even stand here properly."_

_Instead of giving in and going with Harry, he gave in to me and we decided to go at midnight. Ha, I can let him do whatever I want! Okay, except him stopping to read those ridicules books, of course... No wonder he's in for kinks these past days..._

_..._

_"Niall?" I looked up at him with a  big childish smile. Even though we were standing in the very center of the whole crowd, I was still happy to be able to see this all._

_Harry's breath was hitting my neck softly as he was about to say something, once again. At that moment, I still wanted him to just shut up and wait for the fireworks to start, but no, he had to ruin it somehow... Well_ **_ruin..._ **

_"Niall, knock, knock?"_

_"No, Harry not now!"_

_"Niall, I swear this is pretty the best one I've got!" It was already hard to understand him with all the noise around us, but having to even listen to something this stupid at that very moment, really got on my nerves._

_"Ugh, why can't you ever just enjoy something?" I was pretty fucking aware of what I just said, and I knew that Harry was looking at me with the '_ You can't be serious now' _look, but I'm starting to become immune to that look anyway. "Okay, fine! Who's there?"_

_"Marry,"_

_"Fuck, Harry this is so stupid! Within seconds the fi-"_

_"Just finish it!"_

_"Okay! Marry who?"_

_"Marry me," He whispered into my ear before I felt wind hitting my neck. I turned around and my eyes almost popped out._

_"Oh, oh my-my, Harry, are you serious?"_

_He was kneeled down, a stupid, small, black box in his hand and a big smile on his face. When I noticed the little twinkle in his eyes, he didn't even have to answer to that. "I'm more than 100% serious about this. Niall James Horan, will you do me the honor of becoming my husband till death may separate us?"_

_"I-I" When I looked around, almost everyone was staring at us, and I wasn't even able to form words anymore. He was asking me! Just fucking asking me._

_"Just say yes!" someone shouted from the people surrounding us._

_"Yeah! C'mon mate! Where're you waiting for? Prince Charming isn't coming anymore, dude!" I chuckled nervously and Harry looked down a bit, a soft blush on his cheeks as he was probably embarrassed from all the attention he was getting us both now._

_Well... he didn't lie when he said he would give me as much attention as he could..._

_"I-I... Yes. Yes! Oh, God Harry!"_

_Harry stood up back to his feet and I didn't even give him the time to stand properly before I was already attacking him in a hug. Around us, everyone cooed and smiled. Even some cheering were heard and I just felt_ **_proud_ ** _. "I love you, Niall," Harry said as he pulled back and held my hand to slip a little silver ring around my finger. It was a basic one, well, except for the single '12. 11. 15' written on the inside and 'H_ _♥_ _N', but even with no diamonds or anything, this was the most beautiful gift I've ever been given._

_"3...2...1...!" And the fireworks went off. Right at that moment, okay well already at 2, but that's detail, Harry and I kissed and it just felt_ right _. It felt as if our lips were meant to be together. As if our lips were just the puzzle pieces to our love._

...

My eyes fluttered open when I heard the shower run and I looked around in the room to find it empty, well except for me and the sound of streaming water that was coming from the bathroom.

Of course, without thinking even twice, I just  got up and opened the door to the bathroom. I undressed myself, like any normal person would before they go into the shower, and stepped in behind Harry. He seemed to notice my presence, but he didn't say anything about it, just kept on shampooing his hair. My arms slipped around his torso, the feeling of all his abs under my fingertips and the muscles that flexed was just a turn on for me.

"Hey, fiancé," he said, his voice as deep as it always is in the morning, meaning he just woke up.

"Hey, sexy. Want me to wash your back?" Harry nodded and moaned as I let my hands travel up and down his whole body. Taking that as a yes, of course, I started to wash his body with the sweet smelling soap he always uses. Yeah, now I know his secret. It's not his smell, it's just the soap! Okay, no, just kidding, Harry smells better than soap.

When my lips touched his shoulder, I felt him tense up a bit, which made me quiet nervous, but he relaxed immediately, so I just kept on kissing up his back. Placing soft nibs at his neck. Even though it was quiet a stretch for me, seeing I'm a tad shorter than him, it was still worth all of it once I earned a deep moan that came all from deep down his throat.

"Oh, fuck, Ni. Don't do that. You're making me unbelievable hot down there," he whined, trying shamelessly lame attempts to get me to stop, but he didn't succeed. _Duh..._

"I know, that's what I'm intending to do," I smirked.

"Fuck you," he whispered out hotly as my hand wrapped around his member, giving it a few, hard tugs.

"Rather have you fuck me at the moment."

I wasn't even able to blink before he had turned around and had me pinned to the shower wall, the water running all over the back of his curls, but he didn't seem to mind at all. "Baby, you shouldn't have said that,"

"Why?" I asked innocently.

"Because, your pleas will be my pleasure." _Logic? No? Okay..._

"Fuck, don't say stupid things, Harry. Just fuck me,"

"Hmm, let's show the world that there is something else than 'just sex', Niall." He said seductively and _fuck!_ If I wasn't already hard, I would be now for sure.

"Oh, yes, please." _Should I be ashamed of that?_

"But not here. Not in the shower."

I don't know why, but somehow  I was a bit disappointed that we wouldn't have shower sex, call me weird, but I've always wanted to try that.

...

**(Last warning! I swear, if you're still innocent, don't read! I should swim in a sea of holy water at the moment... Yup... It's official... I'm never going to make it to Heaven...)**

All dried up and clean, we walked back into the main room and plopped down on the bed.

It was silence for just a few seconds, before Harry was hovering over me and kissing me hard, but still with so much love, I could just feel it tingling on my lips. "Hmm, still up for what you started in the shower?"

"Get me, tiger." He laughed and smashed his lips back down onto mine, but only to pull back a few seconds after.

"Ni?"

"What? You're not going to make a stupid knock, knock joke once again with something fucking clever behind it, right?"

And once again, he laughed. "No, I wouldn't dare. But I want to talk about something serious first, Ni."

"Fucking not now, I'm clearly not in the mood to talk about something serious!" _Ugh, sexually frustrations... I hate them._

"Niall, I... I want to try it."

"Try... What?"

His cheeks started to heat up, and the longer it took him to answer my question, the more I got worried. "You know..." He started after a few seconds.

"I clearly do not know it, Harry. And hurry the fuck up, because I'm already starting to become less hard, just saying."

"I want you to top."

"Wh-What? B-But, you've never..."

"I know, that's why. I mean, you seem to be fine after all those times... I think I just want something new in our sex life."

"Oh, fuck, baby. You sure? I-I mean, I don't mind being the bottom, if that's what you'r-"

"No, really. I just want to... try it," he said. A smile was creeping on my face and within seconds, I turned us both over, making me the one hovering over Harry. His wet curls were lying all over the pillows and the only thing separating us were these stupid towels that we had wrapped all around our waists.  I waited a few more seconds, making sure he meant this. Somehow I was scared, yet happy and exited to try something new. I've never had sex... _that_ way, so it will be kind of a new experience.

When he seemed to really mean this, like he didn't spoke or stop me before I could even do something, I took that as an answer to my unasked question. Even though I want to try this too, I'm still scared that I'll hurt him... "Okay, but tell me when I hurt you, and I'll stop right away. I don't want you to be hurt, baby." He nodded and smiled a soft but real smile at me. When he saw the _no-so-sure_ look on my face, he leaned up and locked our lips softly in a loving kiss. That seemed to do it for me though.

To say I was a bit nervous, would be an understatement. I was beyond nervous. Harry was a virgin in the way I wasn't and that's the reason why I wanted to take everything slow. Drag out everything I can until I'm one hundred percent sure he's fine. I wanted to make it special for him.

Next to us, in the drawer, we kept a little bottle of lubrication and some condoms –you never know when you can use it-, so I decided it would be the best idea to actually take them already, before we would start any shit. Once the stuff was in front of him, I could see and feel him tensing up. "Shh, it's going to be fine, love. I swear, it hurts in the beginning, but it's pain worthy. Thrust me on this one," I tried to sooth him. It's funny actually, he's totally me when it was my first time. So... vulnerable. So... helpless. It somehow made my heart clench, but I promised myself to give him the best night of his life, and I always keep my promises.

My lips slowly started to place kisses all over his chest, just to sooth him and let him know I love him no matter what. When soft moans slipped from his lips, I couldn't stop myself from smiling. While my lips worked up his chest, my hands traveled down to the towel that was wrapped loosely around his waist. It didn't take me long to remove that, and soon we were both naked, just kissing each other in the most loving way.

When I wanted to sit up a bit more to have a better access to his lips, I accidentally rubbed our members together, making us both moan out in pleasure.

"Niall," Harry breathed out in a soft whine. Starting to become desperate for me.

"Yeah, baby. I know. You still sure you want this? We can still stop and turn aro-"

"No, no. Please," he said, taking a short minute. "Please, need you." _And fuck I was lost._

I quickly sat up and spread his legs wide open for me. The sight of his pink, virgin hole was just.... _Wow_.

I didn't even notice I was staring, until Harry snapped me out of my trance. When I looked down at him, I could sense he was embarrassed a bit. I couldn't blame him, being so exposed is really scary the first time. "Niall, please," he whined. With a short nod, I grabbed the bottle from next to his side and opened it. The sticky liquid was squirted all over two of my fingers, seeing I'm probably not even as big as Harry is. #embarrassed.

"I'm going to open you up first baby, this is probably the least nice step, but you'll be okay, yeah?" He nodded at me and smiled weakly, even though I could see it was fake. He was stressed, that's all, I know it wasn't because deep inside he didn't want this. I could see he really did, it just scared him.

My lubed-up finger slowly made its way between Harry's legs and I wasn't even touching him before he shivered. When my eyes shot up to his face, I noticed he was watching every move I did. _I made that mistake the first time too..._

"Hey, baby? Don't look down, look at me. Keep your eyes locked on mine, that way, you won't have to be scared. You thrust me, right?" He nodded again, and the more he nodded, the more frustrated I actually got. "Words, Harry. Remember what you told me, I want to hear you say it. I want to make sure you're okay."

He nodded again and I almost glared, before he opened his mouth. "O-Okay." he whispered, barely auditable, but I could hear it. Not convinced at all, I leaned down and kissed his lips tenderly. _Now or never._ My finger slowly circled around his rim and he shivered under me from the cold feeling. It didn't take him long to slowly relax as my finger was warming up against his smooth skin. When I pushed the tip of my finger in, he tensed up once again.

I started to think this was a bad idea, because God! This is going to take a lot more time than I imagined it would be, but if he really wants this, then who am I to stop him?

Ignoring his soft grunts of discomfort, I slowly pushed my finger deeper and deeper, creating even more grunts. "N-Ni."

"Shhh, I know. It's okay, baby. It'll be fine. It'll be all fine, just relax. You won't be as hurt if you relax." I stopped my finger when it was halfway in, trying to let him adjust a bit, but he never relaxed. "Baby, please, relax. I can't go on if you don't relax. You _really_ have to." Harry took in a deep breath that he released after a few seconds and then nodded. I could feel him relax a bit and smiled down at my beautiful boy. "That's it baby, just relax. I'm here to make you feel good, not to hurt you. Keep that in mind, yeah?"

He slowly nodded and looked into my eyes as I slowly entered his hole with my finger again, this time going in all the way. I was proud of him, really. Without permission, I started to pump my finger in and out of him, creating at first some groans in discomfort, but they soon turned into pleasurable moans.

My own member was back to its full hardness when I heard him moan and it got even harder when I saw him moving onto my finger. I took that as a sign to add another, and when I did, he squinted his eyes shut. Soothing kisses were soon placed all over his face and he relaxed once more.

After a few minutes I added another finger –he can always use some extra prep, believe me- and soon he was a moaning mess under me. Never did I think in my whole life that this would happen.

I'm engaged to the man I love the most, and now I'm going to make love to him. If this isn't the most crazy day of my life, then I don't know what else will be.

My fingers were going in and out of him at a steady pace and before I knew it, Harry was crying under me, out of pleasure I might want to add... " _Oh fuck!_ Niall, _fuck!_ Again, please!" and then I knew I had hit that certain place.

I did as told and curled my fingers into the same direction again and again and again...

"S-Stop, p-please." I stopped abruptly and looked at him in, what I guess it was, pure horror. _Did I hurt him? Did I do something wrong? Oh my..._ And as if he was reading my mind, Harry pulled me down and locked our lips swiftly. "You didn't hurt me, baby. I just didn't want to come yet," he said, his voice breaking more than once.

"Oh, okay. I'm sorry, but please, tell me when I hurt you."

His hand went up to my cheek and he smiled softly. "I know you won't ever hurt me, Niall. I thrust you with everything," he said, making my heart swell. "Now, please, do something. I'm getting painfully hard."

I chuckled and nodded, kissing his lips one more time before I grabbed a condom from next to his side and pulled it over my hard and painful cock. I quickly lubed it up and pumped myself a few times. A last glance at Harry's worried face and I slowly buried the tip of my cock inside of him. Harry grunted again, but this time less than he did at first. "So good, baby. So so good," His tight heat was driving me insane, but I had to keep it in, for him.

Harry's hands made its way up to my chest and he slowly pushed me back, but with not enough force to actually succeed. "H-Hurts, Ni-"

"Shhh, I know. Baby, I know. It's gonna be alright, you'll be fine. I promise."

His weak attempts to stop me from going inside him, slowly stopped and soon he was relaxing all around me. He gave himself to me, all of him and I guess that's true love, right?

"You're still okay?"

"Y-yeah. Ah, Niall." Harry moaned out when I slowly slide in deeper. "Niall, p-please, it hurts." Even though I promised to stop when he said it hurts, I couldn't. I felt the exact same pain the first time, but going through it is nothing once you're surrounded with the pleasurable feeling.

To sooth him a bit and calm him down, I stopped and kissed him tenderly, wanting him to only concentrate on our lips, nothing else. If he wouldn't think of the pain, it wouldn't be so hard. He just needs... some distraction.

So when I kissed him, I waited a few more seconds before I pushed in even deeper, making me bottom out finally. Once my hips were pressed to his, signing I was completely inside of him, I pulled back and smiled.

"You have no idea how fucking proud I am of you, baby. You're doing so good. I know it hurts in the beginning, but it'll get better soon, I promise. You've survived the worst already." He nodded shortly and closed his eyes while he was trying to get used to the stretch.

I gave him as much time as he needed, knowing it can actually really hurt when you move too fast at first. "Move," his voice came out weakly, and I've never seen him so... so weak and vulnerable as now.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I am, Niall, just move, I can take it." Even though I wasn't convinced at all, I did as told and slowly pulled back out, only to slam back into him. Harry grunted and weakly even screamed as I did, but he didn't stop me, so I took that as a sign to do it again.

After slowly entering and pulling back out of him a few times, he started to loosen up more and I went faster and harder, knowing just how he will like it. After all, we've been together for a year, I know what he likes and what he doesn't... I guess.

Harry was slowly starting to like it, to feel how great it can actually feel. Soft " _ah ah ah's"_ and _"fuck's"_ were escaping his mouth each time I slammed into him and I must say, it felt like a few minutes after we were both close. "I'm so close, Ni."

"Me... too," I breathed out. Being a bottom is less exhausting, if I can say so. It's really a tiring job to be the top. Reminder to myself, be the bottom next time. "Come for me, baby," I whispered, my voice not even able to speak loudly.

With a loud moan and a yell of my name, he came undone and because of him clenching around me, almost milking me, I followed suit and collapsed next to him.

**(YOU'RE SAFE AGAIN PEOPLE!)**

Both exhausted and out of breath, we lay there. There was a long silence and I thought Harry had fallen asleep, but when I felt his arm wrap around me and pulling me closer to his body, I knew he wasn't. "Niall?"

I looked up and smiled lazily. "Yeah?"

"To the moon and back?"

I chuckled and kissed his forehead softly.

_"And back"_

 


	64. Epilogue

 

"Are you ready?"

I took a deep breath and let it go afterwards. "Yeah, I think I am. Just nervous is all."

"Don't worry little bro. You'll be fine," Luke said while resting a comforting hand on my back.

"Yeah, it's not like anything can go wrong anyway! I mean, what's the worst that can happen? You slip and fall and everyone will laugh about how stupid that looked, but nothing major, right?" I glared in the mirror while looking at Louis from there and I could see Luke swatting his head in response.

Louis winched, but laughed afterwards. "He's already nervous enough, you idiot. God. Sorry, Ni. You'll be fine and he'll be fine and this will just be the best day of your life, I promise. Nothing can go wrong, today, and if it does, then we'll be here to catch you right away." I smiled a real smile at Luke and thanked him for his words. Sometimes he's really a doll. He just has his moments that prove otherwise.

There was a knock on the door, and we all looked up when my mom walked inside. Her eyes were tearing up as she looked at me and her hands were clapped together tightly in front of her mouth. "My baby boy," she said before she walked up to me and pulled me in for a hug. I was finally taller than her, which surprised me, but hey? Already another year passed, so what can I say? "I'm so, so, _so_ proud of you, baby."

"I know, Ma."

"My big boy. Oh, finally. Finally one of my lovely kids is going to take the biggest step there is to take in life. I waited 22 years for this moment, Niall! 22!" she swatted my upper arm lightly in a joking way and laughed through tears. "You couldn't wait any longer, could you?"

I chuckled and whipped away a few tears that were streaming down her cheeks, of happiness of course. "What can I say? I can't say no to a guy on his knees, I guess."

"You better make sure to keep him! Don't lose this one, Niall. He's a wonderful boy and I'm one hundred percent sure he'll make you the happiest and luckiest person on earth."

"I will. Thanks Ma."

There was a short pause where neither of the four of us said anything, but when Anne knocked on the door and walked through, a happy and real smile on her face, I knew that there wasn't anytime left to even talk.

"Are you ready, love? It's almost time," she said, making me blush a bit and feeling the nerves dancing through my veins. Anne is a lovely woman, I don't even understand what happened between Harry and his parents. Okay, maybe his father isn't the most welcoming person and no, he didn't like me at first, but he accepted me and I couldn't be happier for that matter. Anyway, Anne and Harry are at least back to talking terms.

After Paris, Harry and I had announced that we were going to marry and that we were engaged to my side of the family, including Lou who's part of it for everyone at our side. I must say, I expected a complete different reaction then I got, but I was all too happy to see their happy smiled and teary eyes.

Of course, my mother decided to meet Harry's parents. Like, as if it couldn't be more awkward. So Harry first told the whole story about him and his parents and of course my mom told us to go and talk to them. After such a long time, it would be absurd to still hate each other, she said, so the first thing we did after that, was going to his parents. Anne, being the sweetheart she is, was crying into Harry's chest, telling him how much she missed him and how much she hated herself for letting her kids slip away through her fingers. It was really a heart melting sight, but for some reason, I couldn't stop myself from crying with Anne.

Later that day, Anne had called Gemma to come over too and at first she refused to see her mother ever again. She had been talking to Harry on the phone for hours till she finally decided to show up anyway. Once everyone was all buddy-buddy again -minus Harry's dad and me- Harry told them all we were engaged. And that was clearly a reason for his dad to hate me even more.

Luckily, at the end of the night, he gave me his blessing and told me to not fuck up anything, or he would fuck up my face, and internal organs.

Anyway, everything was fine. Harry and I haven't had one single argument and I must say, even if I'm only speaking for myself, these past months were the happiest of my entire life.

I've been counting ever since the day I met Harry, and I almost can't believe we've been together for 2 years on the day on.

This day, two years ago, Harry asked me to be his boyfriend. I know, I'm a sap for those things, but I always thought it was romantic in movies when they remembered their date of becoming a couple and now I finally can do that too, I do it. With all my heart.

"Darling, stop zooming out, you're supposed to be marrying my son at the moment, now off you go! I need to grab my tissues and I'm sure Maura will need them, too, so hup!" I snapped out of my thoughts and began to feel nervous all over again. My hands were sweaty and my heart was beating 722 times faster than it should.

My mom must have noticed I was slightly panicking -again- so she pulled me back to her chest and rocked us slowly. "Go ahead, Anne. I'll be with you in seconds, just need to calm down my little Nialler here. Luke? Get a seat already, we'll be there right after you and Louis, darling? Take Niall to the church, yeah? You're a doll," my mom instructed. While she was talking to the rest, I was just listening to her heartbeat. It's soothing and now I finally know why I always loved to be a baby. I could listen to my mom's heart and calm down, just like I'm doing now. The _thump, thump, thumping_ of her heart was calming me down and making me realize that even though this is a big step we take, I'll always be able to fall back to my mom. I'll always be welcome to come and listen to her heart, because in the end, that's all I need.

"Alright, little one. Let's go! Harry's probably looking at his watch, waiting till my lovely best friend arrives, and we can't let him wait all day, right?" Louis tugged at my arm, making me back away from my mom's thumping heart.

"You'll be fine, my love. I'll be there if you need me, yeah?" I nodded and that was all I could do before I was pulled out of the room and in front of two big doors that will soon lead me to the man I love the most of all

Louis left my side as soon as George approached and with a swift kiss on my cheek, he ran off to Luke I guess. George stood next to me and padded my back. "You know, son? You may be not a son of mine, but that doesn't mean I don't see you as one. Luke's always have been more of a daughter to me anyway, but that's not what I wanted to say. You'll always be a son of mine, even when it's not biological. And I'm more than happy to be the one that can give you away to someone."

I looked up at him and smiled. "Thanks for everything, George. I didn't like the fact of having a new dad suddenly at first, but now, after all, I actually am more than happy to have you as a dad. You've been more of a dad to me than my real one ever was, so thank you for everything. And thank you for giving me away."

We both just smiled at each other for a few seconds, till I heard music coming from behind the doors and my nerves danced through my whole body. I could see from a mirror that was just placed in the right angle for me to catch it through the window, that Laura and Milan were walking cutely, hand in hand up to Harry. Both having the rings spelled onto two little teddy bears that were both dressed like me and I assume Harry.

The song slowly started to speed up and my eyes widened. I looked in shock to George who just smirked.

_Oh ooh...?_

I quickly looked back to the mirror that made me see everything inside except Harry and the priest of course, and my mouth was slowly agape. "Oh, no..." I face-palmed myself and groaned. I knew I had to help them! I knew this would happen if I wouldn't be with them. I should have arranged this all myself, oh fucking God!

The doors slowly opened when the song slowed down for one second and then there I stood, almost frozen to the ground. Harry's head was lowered and when he felt Liam's elbow poking in his side, he looked up and his eyes met mine. He was stunning. His green eyes looking with so much love, I was scared they would pop out or explode from the love inside of it. His smile was dazing and just seeing him like this, all ready and beautiful, I couldn't stop myself from smiling and walking up to him. The song stopped when I finally reached him and just by looking in his eyes, I could visibly relax. I knew that everything was okay, because he was here, and I don't care where I am, as long as I'm with him. I don't have to worry to be lost somewhere, because he'll find me. And he'll be there for me, and that's more than I've ever wanted.

I'll be finally his, only his. That's the life I wanted.

_And I can't wait to spend the rest of it with him..._

 

**END!**


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